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USCIS Nebraska Service Center
Attn: I-918
PO Box 87918
Lincoln, NE 68501-7918
USCIS Nebraska Service Center
Attn: I-918
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Lincoln, NE 68508
USCIS Vermont Service Center
Attn: I-918
38 River Rd.
Essex Junction, VT 05479-0001
You can find the filing fee for Form I-918 by visiting our Fee Schedule page.
Please do not submit this checklist with your Form I-918. The checklist is an optional tool to use as you prepare your form, but does not replace statutory, regulatory, and form instruction requirements. We recommend that you review these requirements before completing and submitting your form. Do not send original documents unless specifically requested in the form instructions or applicable regulations.
If you submit any documents (copies or original documents, if requested) in a foreign language, you must include a full English translation along with a certification from the translator verifying that the translation is complete and accurate, and that they are competent to translate from the foreign language into English.
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Filing Tips: Review our Tips for Filing Forms by Mail page for information on how to ensure we will accept your form.
Do not forget to sign your form. We will reject and return any unsigned form.
Principal U Nonimmigrants: You are authorized to work once we have approved your underlying petitions for U nonimmigrant status. We will automatically issue an Employment Authorization Document (EAD) when we approve your petition. You do not need to file a separate Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization , to receive an EAD related to the approval of your petition for nonimmigrant status.
Derivative U Nonimmigrants: If you reside inside the United States, you are authorized to work once we approve the derivative petition for U nonimmigrant status. However, you will not automatically receive an EAD. You must file Form I-765 to request an EAD related to the approval of your derivative petition.
We can only issue employment authorization for principal and derivative petitioners after we approve the underlying U nonimmigrant status petition, regardless of when you file Form I-765.
Statutory Cap: If the statutory cap is reached in a fiscal year, we will use the bona fide determination process and waiting list process as described below.
Bona Fide Determination: If you live in the United States, you may receive employment authorization and deferred action if you have a pending bona fide petition and warrant a favorable exercise of discretion. If you have not yet filed Form I-918, you may submit your Form I-765 with your Form I-918 petition. If you have a pending Form I-918 or Form I-918A and have not already submitted Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization , please submit a Form I-765 now to the appropriate address in the “Where to File” section.
Waiting List: If you do not receive employment authorization and deferred action through the bona fide determination process, we will review your petition for the waiting list under 8 CFR 214.14(d)(2). Petitioners for U nonimmigrant status and derivatives in the United States who are granted deferred action under this provision can apply for an EAD based on deferred action. We will only approve these EADs after DHS has deferred action in your case, regardless of when you file Form I-765.
To get a family-based green card, you need to submit Form I-130 and supporting documents to U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) and pay the required fees. It’s a good idea to include a cover letter with your application as well. It can help keep everything organized and gives you a chance to highlight anything in your application that USCIS should know about. This article explains what a cover letter for a family-based green card application is and the elements it should include. It also includes a template you can use to write your own.
Written by Jonathan Petts . Updated May 17, 2023
You’ll need to file Form I-130 : Petition for Alien Relative if you are a U.S. citizen or green card holder who wants your family member to obtain lawful permanent resident status. You may petition on behalf of an immediate relative, such as a spouse, sibling , or parent. You may file this petition for your relatives even if they are outside of the United States. If they are abroad when you file, you’ll need to use the direct consular filing process instead of the U.S.-based adjustment of status process .
Though not required, many immigrants, sponsors, and immigration lawyers choose to include cover letters to preface a USCIS application. A cover letter is a short letter where you may introduce yourself, describe your background, list your application components, and state the specific immigration status or benefit you, your relative, or your client is seeking.
As a sponsor completing Form I-130, you can write a cover letter to explain your relationship with the immigrant applicant. You can also address any questions or unusual circumstances about your relationship. Writing a cover letter can also help you double-check whether you’ve included everything you need in the application. By writing a complete list of the documents in your package, you’ll be able to see if there’s any application component you’re missing.
USCIS does not require a cover letter to process the I-130 petition. However, a cover letter can be beneficial. When sponsoring your relative to adjust status, you can use a cover letter to explain you and your relative’s circumstances to USCIS. USCIS can better understand and evaluate your application given the greater context a cover letter provides.
If there is anything unusual about you and your relative’s relationship, a cover letter also gives you the space to address these concerns. For example, if you are estranged from or have not seen your relative in a long time, you may want to use part of the cover letter to explain your situation to USCIS. You can explain why you have not been in contact for a long time and how getting a green card for your relative would help rebuild your relationship. By giving them greater clarity on circumstances like this, you can make it easier for USCIS to process your application.
You should begin your Form I-130 cover letter with a heading and greeting. Your heading should provide USCIS officials with your mailing address, your name, and your foreign relative’s name. Your introduction should then explain your reasons for writing this cover letter. Use your introduction to give USCIS a basic overview of your relationship and tell them you are sponsoring your relative’s green card application.
USCIS will find it most helpful if you include the following information in your cover letter:
Your contact information
The USCIS address to which you’re sending this letter
Your full name as the petitioner
Your relative’s full name as the beneficiary
A note stating which form and status you are filing an application for
A list of all the supporting documents you’ve included in this package, in bullet points:
Your birth certificate
Your relative’s passport, which must be valid for at least six months beyond their intended date of entry into the United States.
Two passport-style photographs that meet Department of State requirements . You and your relative must take two photos each within 30 days of filing.
You and your relative should each provide supporting documents relating to your address and employment histories for the last five years.
Your relative should also provide their I-94 information if they are present in the United States. If USCIS has involved your relative in any previous immigration proceedings, you’ll also need to disclose this.
If petitioning for your spouse, you’ll need to provide your marriage certificate. You must also prove that any of your prior marriages are legally terminated. For example, you may provide a divorce decree or a deceased spouse’s death certificate. Be sure to provide the date of termination if applicable.
When petitioning for a spouse, you’ll also need to prove that you have a bona fide marriage , meaning that your marriage is genuine. You may prove this by providing documents that show you have shared liabilities, assets, insurance, tax filings, children together, or other shared commitments.
Your signature and the date
Finally, you should conclude your letter by thanking USCIS for their consideration of your relative’s case. Be sure to sign and date the letter before enclosing it in the application package.
You may either file Form I-130 and your cover letter online or through a direct filing address in the mail. When filing, you’ll also need to include the $535 filing fee for this form. You may pay this fee with a money order, personal check, or cashier’s check. You should make any checks payable to the “U.S. Department of Homeland Security.”
When filing at a USCIS lockbox, you also have the option to pay by credit card. To pay with a credit card, you’ll need to file Form G-1450 : Authorization for Credit Card Transactions.
Note that if you are using the direct consular filing process, you’ll need to work with your local U.S. embassy or consulate to determine fees. Your embassy may also require different documentation when considering your application.
You may use the following template for guidance when writing your USCIS Form I-130 cover letter. However, be sure to edit each field to reflect your own situation. The sample cover letter below is for a marriage green card. However, marriage green cards are not the only family-based green cards. You can also petition for other immediate relatives. To double-check whether you may petition for a certain relative, visit USCIS’s page on Form I-130 .
You should replace each [bracketed field] with personalized information. To access an editable version of the Form I-130 cover letter sample below, you can make a copy of this sample cover letter for Form I-130 .
Your immigrant relative will be known as the “beneficiary” in this visa petition. You, the U.S. citizen sponsoring your immigrant relative, are the “petitioner.” Note that you must be a U.S. citizen or green card holder to successfully sponsor your foreign relative’s immigrant visa application.
[Preparer Street Address]
[Preparer City, State ZIP code]
[Relevant USCIS mailing address]
RE:[Marriage Green Card Application]
Beneficiary:[Immigrant’s Full Name]
Petitioner:[Sponsor’s Full Name]
To Whom It May Concern:
Enclosed, please find my [Marriage Green Card Application] for [Immigrant’s Full Name], the beneficiary, and [Sponsor’s Full Name], the petitioner and [U.S. citizen spouse] of the beneficiary.
The following documents accompany and support this application:
Filing Fee Payments
Check for [Current Fee Amount] for Form I-130
Check for [Current Fee Amount] for Form I-485
Check for [Current Fee Amount] for Biometrics
Form G-1450 (credit card charge authorization if you completed one)
Form G-1145 (e-notice authorization if you requested them in our system)
Petitioner’s Form I-130
[List of supporting documents]
Beneficiary’s Form I-130A (if this application is for a Marriage Green Card)
Beneficiary’s Form I-485
Petitioner’s I-864 petition
Beneficiary’s Form I-944
Beneficiary’s Form I-693
Beneficiary’s Form I-765
Beneficiary’s Form I-131
If you have any questions or concerns, please call me at [(000) 000-0000]. Thank you very much for your prompt consideration of my [Marriage Green Card Application].
[Immigrant’s Full Name]
When writing your cover letter, be sure to write as clearly and concisely as possible. USCIS will find it more helpful for a letter to have a clear summary of your application materials than for a letter to be too detailed in unnecessary areas. Be sure to use bullet points when laying out your application contents in the supporting documents category.
Within your letter, be sure to mention that any documents you’ve provided are accurate and true. You should also note that these documents are acceptable for USCIS, meaning that they are unaltered, original documents or photocopies. If you need to include any certified translations in your application, you should also mention this and note that you’ve included both the original non-English and translated documents.
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Extracurriculars.
What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.
Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.
In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!
Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.
Essay example #1: exchange program.
The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.
As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.
I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.
I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.
As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.
This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.
The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally.
Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.
The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read.
For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.” They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”
If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great.
Table of Contents
Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.
Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.
Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day.
As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.
I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.
I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.
This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day.
The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.
This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.
One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day?
A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture.
I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.
The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.
Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.
Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.
This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality.
This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.
Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration.
One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.
To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars.
“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.
Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.
Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.
Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.
This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.
Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.
This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.
It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”. They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.
Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire.
Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family.
Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt.
“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.
In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him.
Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses.
That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.
This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in.
The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”
In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.
There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.
“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.
Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.
Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.
They didn’t bite.
Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.
Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin.
The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.
Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.
This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!
Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.
The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose.
One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.
The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.
I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.
I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.
When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.
By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.
Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?
This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?
The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.
The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”
The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.
The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.
”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.
Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.
Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.
Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.
I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.
At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.
Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.
Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.
Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.
Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.
This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.
Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.
The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.
The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.
Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents.
No one knows where Eritrea is.
On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?
I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate, perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”
Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”
Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells. Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.
But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books borrowed from the library.
No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is. No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted dunes. No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother, her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes). It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal lineages.
There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time. You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells. I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…
I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero . I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …
This knowledge is intrinsic. “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.” Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.
Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential. Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.
This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader.
The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.
Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.
Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay.
There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.
Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.
I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.
“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008
Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.
“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019
I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.
With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.
“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020
Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.
With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.
I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”
The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.
Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.
At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!
Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.
Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.
If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!
Essay Guides for Each School
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How to Write the “Why This College” Essay
Psychotherapy, personality, cover letter for an immigration officer (5 samples).
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To get an immigration officer position, you need a well-written cover letter that showcases your passion for and dedication to the industry. When writing an immigration officer cover letter, these are some of the essential things to include in your letter:
I have a proven track record of success in my previous roles as an Immigration Officer. I have successfully adjudicated hundreds of applications for various types of visas, including family-based petitions, work visas, and asylum cases. I have also been responsible for managing a caseload of more than 100 active cases at any given time.
City, State, Zip Code
I also gained experience researching the background of immigrants to determine their eligibility to make sure they do not pose any safety risk for the country. My research abilities also help to locate illegal immigrants that have already entered the country so they can be deported.
I have the communication skills and the interpersonal skills to communicate with all agencies from the local to the international level. I have critical thinking skills with the ability to solve problems as they arise. I am also very perceptive and I have the ability to make good decisions in a moment’s notice if necessary.
I have taken self-defense classes and weapons training classes that have helped to prepare me for this position. I am physically and mentally fit to hold this job and I am ready to put my skills and training to work for the country.
You can contact me for an interview by calling (555)-555-5555 and I hope to discuss the details of this position with you soon.
“Dear hiring manager,
I am writing to express my interest in the Immigration Officer position that is currently available at your company. I believe that my extensive experience as an immigration officer, coupled with my education and training, makes me a strong candidate for this position.
I have been working as an immigration officer since 2005. My first job was at the U.S. Embassy in Mexico City, where I worked for three years. In 2008, I moved to the U.S. Embassy in Bogota, Colombia, where I worked for another three years. In 2011, I was promoted to Senior Immigration Officer and transferred to the U.S. Embassy in Buenos Aires, Argentina. I have been working there ever since.
I would like to thank you for considering me for this position and hope that we can arrange a meeting so that we can discuss my qualifications in greater detail.”
What is the role of an immigration officer.
An immigration officer interviews people who want to enter or stay in the country, and also investigates businesses and individuals who violate immigration laws.
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https://www.immisearch.ca/post/immigration-cover-letter-template
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The information contained herein is for reference only and may not be up to date. It does not constitute legal advice. You should always consult an attorney regarding your matter.
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY CITIZENSHIP AND IMMIGRATION SERVICES ASYLUM OFFICE LYNDHURST, NEW JERSEY IN THE MATTER OF: JOAO DOE
STATEMENT IN SUPPORT OF APPLICATION FOR POLITICAL ASYLUM
I, Joao Doe, declare under the penalty of perjury, pursuant to 18 U.S.C. sec. 1546, that the following is true and correct:
» Practice pointer: The declaration should begin with a brief introduction which lays out the basis of the asylum claim.
1. My name is Joao Doe. I was born on February 23, 1975 in Sao Bernardo do Campo, a suburb of Sao Paulo Brazil, and I am a thirty year old native and citizen of Brazil.
2. I am a gay man. In Brazil, there was and is such intense hatred and violence against actual or suspected homosexuals by the government, its police, death squads and society that I had to flee to the United States. As a gay man, I suffered public ridicule, beatings, and sexual abuse by police and prisoners. I struggled through my childhood and adolescence to hide my homosexuality, fearing rejection, violence and abuse from the police and others merely because I was different.
» Practice pointer: In general it is best to the use the term “gay man” or “lesbian” rather than “homosexual” as a self-definition. It is okay to use the terms interchangeably in the body of the declaration, but the noun “homosexual,” especially in the phrase, “I am a homosexual” sounds very clinical and has a slightly negative connotation.
3. Although I arrived in the United States on July 7, 2001, I was just diagnosed with HIV on July 18, 2005. In my country, people with HIV and AIDS are called AIDS carriers and mistreated by the government and society. There is much blame against gays for AIDS and therefore they perceive male persons with AIDS as homosexuals and mistreat them more. The fact that I am a gay man living with HIV makes me a greater target for future mistreatment in my country. While I have always been afraid to return to Brazil, now that I know that I am also HIV-positive, I am certain that returning to Brazil would be a death sentence. Because of this enormous change in my situation, I am now filing for asylum.
» Practice pointer: If the applicant has missed the one year filing deadline, this will certainly be an issue in the case. It is therefore important to address the issue head on.
» Practice pointer: Bold face point headings help make the declaration readable for the adjudicator.
» Practice pointer: Although childhood mistreatment will almost never, in and of itself, be sufficient to win an asylum claim, it is important for the adjudicator to have as full an understanding of what the applicant’s life was like in his country as possible.
4. I am the fourth of eight brothers and sisters. My father is a shoe repairman and my mother, a housewife. I was more effeminate than most young boys growing up. As a kid, my classmates ridiculed me at school and on the streets shouting “menina” (“girl”) or “viado” (“faggot.”) They’d sometimes shove me when we were at the playground.
» Practice pointer: When detailing specific bad names or incidents with name calling, it’s best to write out the exact word in the language in which it was spoken (or written) and include the English translation directly afterwards.
5. I remember one incident in particular. When I was maybe nine or ten years old, around 1985, I was walking home from a school and a group of boys were playing soccer. When I was walking by they stopped playing and whispered to each other and then asked me if I wanted to play with them. I was nervous because I wasn’t a very good player, but I was so happy to be asked to join in, that I put down my books and ran over to join them. As soon as I made it over to the players, one of them pushed me to the ground and said that soccer wasn’t a game for “viados” and that if wanted to join the game, I could be the ball. Then they all started kicking me, and I curled up to avoid getting hit on the head, and they were all laughing, “look he even looks like a ball.” At one point they were all laughing so hard, I had the chance to get up and run away.
6. I ran all the way home. I remember trying so hard not to cry in front of the boys when they were kicking me, but as soon as I got away, I couldn’t help crying and crying. In my rush to escape, I left my books behind. I was too ashamed to tell my family what had happened and I lied to my teacher about losing my books.
» Practice pointer: It is very important to include detailed accounts of specific incidents which the applicant recalls. It is in these details that the adjudicator can really understand what the applicant went through in the past and why the applicant fears returning. It is also easier for the adjudicator to judge the client’s credibility if there is a specific incident about which the adjudicator can elicit more details. Often applicants are reticent to discuss specific incidents and instead make broad statements like, “I was called names all the time.” Or “I was always getting beaten up.” It’s okay for the applicant to make broad statements like this, but it’s essential to also detail specific examples.
7. I was too young to understand why I was different but knew that I was not as masculine as my brothers and other boys my age. I had no friends as a boy since the other boys insulted me and didn’t want to be seen with me. I didn’t tell my family about these painful episodes because I didn’t want to alarm them and call more attention to the ways that I was different from other boys. My family avoided discussing my difference.
8. In 1989, when I was around thirteen or fourteen years old, I started to realize that I was physically attracted to other guys. I had always known that I was different from the other boys, and I’d always heard the name “faggot,” but it wasn’t until I was in my teens that I began to have real feelings for other guys and began to understand just what my “difference” meant.
» Practice pointer: Remember that in an asylum case based on sexual orientation, the first thing you need to prove to the adjudicator is that your client actually is gay. The best way to do this is by providing detailed information about his “coming out” process, including when he first began to realize that he was gay and when he had his first romantic relationship with another man.
9. In 1990, when I was fifteen, I began to work at a local grocery store during the day and attend school at night. Until then I had been ridiculed and ostracized because others saw that I was effeminate and therefore assumed that I was homosexual. But up to that point I had never acted on my feelings.
10. In 1991, when I was sixteen years old and still working at the grocery store, a man by the name of Jorge moved into town from a larger city and started working at the Post Office down the street from the store. In or around May, 1991, I was in the town park when Jorge approached me and persuaded me to have sexual relations with him in a dead end street. I say “persuaded” because he was much older and came from a big city and said that he was married. I felt uncomfortable having sex with someone I’d just met, but I was sixteen and had never had any sexual contact with anyone. I remember feeling really scared, but at the same time, feeling kind of relieved to finally confirm for myself that I was gay and that that’s why I’d always felt so different.
11. While I knew that this encounter in the park wasn’t going to become a lasting relationship, I never imagined what Jorge would do. After we had our encounter, Jorge told a classmate of mine, Paulo, that I had had sex with him.
12. Paulo began to blackmail me, threatening to tell everyone in school how I was in fact a “viado” (“faggot”) unless I brought him things from the store where I worked such as cigarettes, beer and food. I had no choice but to do what he told me because I was so afraid of how much worse my life would be if he told more of my classmates that I truly was homosexual.
» Practice pointer: Although purely private incidents with other students may not meet the definition of persecution (since there is no state involvement and no unsuccessful effort by the applicant to receive state protection) it is worth including these accounts because they help to paint a picture of the intolerance the applicant faces in his society.
13. Although Paulo never did tell my classmates, I spent the next two years in that school in constant fear. I was afraid of how much worse my life would be if everyone at school knew for sure that I was gay. I was also afraid that I’d get caught stealing from the store and have to explain to my boss and parents the reason I was taking things.
14. In 1993, at age eighteen, my parents decided to move to Sao Paulo itself. I was relieved that we were moving because I could no longer take the ridicule and blackmail by my classmate and hoped that my life as a gay man would be better there. Once there, I did meet other gay men, and I thought that my life would be easier. However, I soon realized that in big cities the problems for gay people were even bigger as I now describe.
15. I had not yet graduated from high school and hoped that moving to a new city, I’d be able to make a new start. I still had one more year before I would graduate and thought that moving someplace new, I could leave my troubles behind me, but almost immediately, my new classmates suspected that I was gay and made my life miserable calling me not by my name but names like “bicha” (“faggot”). I was so miserable that I eventually stopped going to school.
16. I remember one occasion when I got into the classroom late, but still before the teacher came into the room. As soon as I entered the classroom, all of the other students burst into laughter. I took my seat, and tried not to look at them. Instead I looked at the board in the front of the room, where there was a drawing of a man with an erect penis having sex with a goat. An arrow pointed to the man with my name.
17. I remember opening a book and pretending to read so that I could try to ignore the other students. When the teacher came in, he started yelling at me, asking me if I’d drawn this picture, and the students all began laughing again. I was so humiliated, I just left the classroom without saying anything.
» Practice pointer: It is always best to include specific examples of mistreatment or problems which the applicant suffered. It is much more powerful for the reader to hear the details of a particular incident than for the applicant to make generalized statements like, “Other students always made fun of me.”
18. There were other times that I would remain in the classroom to avoid being publicly humiliated by the other students when I went outside. I actually filed complaints with the school director’s office. Instead of disciplining the other students, the director told me that if I would act more like a man, I would not have these problems with the other students.
» Practice pointer: It is important to state that the applicant filed complaints, if he did, because this helps show that what he suffered was not merely isolated incidents of adolescent cruelty, but rather that the institutions in his country did not protect him from this behavior.
19. Even though I only had half a year left to get my high school degree, in the winter of 1993, I dropped out of school. I remember that my mother was very disappointed because she always thought I’d go on to college and maybe become a lawyer or a doctor. Instead, I got a job working in a men’s clothing store called Armando’s.
20. I was relieved to be away from the abusive environment of the school at last, though I also felt depressed about my future. This was a hard time because I was still living with my family, but I couldn’t explain to them the real reason I left school. I just told them that there was no point to going to school and that I was old enough to earn my own money.
» Practice pointer: To prove that the applicant actually is a member of the particular social group of “homosexuals,” it is important to include detailed information about relationships he had as proof of his sexual orientation.
21. After I’d been working at Armando’s for around six months, my life changed for the better. A young man came into the store looking to buy a suit, and I went over to ask him if he needed help. Immediately I felt a connection with him. I could sense him looking at me longer than he needed to and I felt nervous talking to him.
22. I helped him try on several suits. He told me his name was Ricardo and he asked me to meet him at a bar later. I remember feeling like I could barely breathe when I wrote down the address of the bar.
23. I met Ricardo later that night at a bar that was filled with men. It was the first time I’d been to a gay bar. I felt scared going in there because I knew these bars were sometimes raided by the police, but I also felt elated seeing all these gay men who were so comfortable being together.
24. As soon as I saw what kind of bar this was, I knew for sure that Ricardo was interested in me in the same way I was interested in him. Since I still lived with my family, we went to his apartment from the bar. This was an amazing night for me, to be with someone close to my age (Ricardo was 22), who seemed like he really liked me and was comfortable with being gay himself.
25. After that, Ricardo and I started to see each other regularly. This was an amazing period for me. After spending my whole life feeling like there was something wrong with me and like I’d never fit in, I finally found a person who was like me and who accepted me as I was. About nine months after I met Ricardo, in early 1995, I moved into his apartment with him.
26. I’m sure that while I was still living at home, my family had begun to understand the true nature of my relationship with Ricardo. We were together all the time. I started coming home very late, and sometimes not at all. And when we weren’t together we were talking on the phone. Although I could sense increasing tension with my family, everyone chose to ignore the situation and pretend that what they knew was happening wasn’t really happening.
27. Living with Ricardo was wonderful. We were finally free to be ourselves together without having to worry about when I’d get home or what my family might think. Knowing someone who had been “out” longer than I had was also very good for me. Ricardo introduced me to his other gay friends, and I soon had a whole circle of gay friends.
28. Even though my home life was improving, however, this didn’t mean that as a gay man I was free to live without fear in Brazil.
29. My friends and I never found peace on the streets since young heterosexual men would approach, insult and even attack us as “viados” (“faggots”) and AIDS carriers. Even then there were gangs of men who would drive by us in the plaza and throw rotten eggs, water balloons, sticks, and rocks at us shouting that we were faggots and AIDS carriers.
30. The police in Brazil, who are supposed to protect people, instead were often the most abusive towards gay people. We gay people could not defend ourselves against the police but only held our heads down and listened to them in silence. We always knew that if we made them angry, they had this special mistreatment called “telephone,” a technique where the police officer opened his two hands, lifted us his arms and brought them down hitting the person’s ears, causing intense pain and ringing in the ears.
31. I recall one night in 1996 that the police applied the telephone to my friend Claudio because they claimed that he was homosexual, out late at night and should be home and he spoke back to them.
32. Ricardo and I were at home at around 11:00 when Claudio knocked on our door, waking us up. His shirt was torn and he looked visibly shaken. I asked him what happened but he wouldn’t talk about it, he just asked if he could sleep on our couch. It wasn’t until the next morning that he told us what the police had done and about the “telephone” treatment he had received.
» Practice pointer: Since asylum claims are based on fear of future persecution as well as past persecution, it is helpful to include accounts of serious problems that other gay people the applicant knew experienced. As with the applicant’s own experiences, it’s important to include details rather than to generalize.
33. In the summer of 1996 I suffered a terrible experience which still haunts me. I was coming home at night from eating dinner out with some friends. After I’d walked a few blocks from the restaurant towards the bus stop, a man who seemed drunk approached me and told me to walk with him. I told him I did not have time and tried to walk away from him. He then grabbed me, called me “a faggot” and told me not to do anything funny because he had a gun. He forced me to walk with him all the way up a hill near a sawmill, located on the other side of the train tracks. He then pulled down his pants and forced me to perform oral sex on him at gunpoint. Afterwards, he made me take off my clothes and raped me. When he finished, he put his gun into my anus and told me to be still, otherwise he would pull the trigger. He warned me that if I told anyone, he’d kill me. He left me there at the sawmill alone, crying. I made my way home.
34. I pulled myself together before I got home, and I decided not to tell Ricardo about what had happened. To this day, I don’t really understand why I didn’t tell him. But that night I just felt dirty and used, and felt, somehow like I was at fault for this happening. I worried that Ricardo wouldn’t want to be with me any more if he knew.
35. I was angry about what happened, but I also feared reporting this experience to the authorities given his threat. After this happened, I was scared to leave my home because I was afraid I might see him again and he might abuse me sexually again. Even though I didn’t tell Ricardo what had happened, our relationship changed after this. About two months after the rape, the two of us broke up, though we remained friends. I moved out of Ricardo’s apartment and shared an apartment with another gay friend named Silvio. Silvio and I became good friends, but were never romantically involved.
» Practice pointer: It is always helpful to get affidavits or letters from the applicant’s former partner(s) confirming their relationship as another way of proving the applicant’s sexual orientation.
36. In June, I learned who the man that raped me was when I saw his photograph in the Diario Do Rio Doce newspaper. His name was Joaquim Cruz and he was an undercover member of the Policia Militar de Governador Valadares, PMGV, the military police. The newspaper reported on his death. He was killed in retaliation for having allegedly killed a young couple with a hammer. When I realized that he had been a military police officer, I was even more thankful that I did not report him to the authorities. Now that he was dead, I felt a little safer but that would not last for long.
» Practice pointer: It is always important to explain whether or not the applicant reported the mistreatment to the authorities. If the applicant did report the incident, what was the result? If the applicant did not report the incident, why not? Even when the applicant suffers harm directly from government agents (like police officers) adjudicators may want to know whether the applicant reported the incident to a higher authority within the government. The applicant should explain why he didn’t feel safe doing so, even if the reason (i.e. the police already abused him) seems obvious to him.
» Practice pointer: Incidents of mistreatment directly at the hands of the government are the clearest examples of persecution. It is crucial to provide in-depth, detailed accounts of any problems the applicant experienced with the police, military or other government agencies.
37. On another occasion, in around March, 1997, at around 9:30 p.m., I was sitting in the Plaza Italia with my friends Silvio and Nelson, talking with other gay friends when all of a sudden four police cars pulled up with two police officers in each car. They said to one another, “There are the faggots” and pointed their guns at us. They ordered us to get in their cars because the Police Chief wanted to see us. We asked why but they refused to answer but said that we would soon know why. When we got to the police station, we continued to ask why we were under arrest, and the police officers continued to insult us as “viados” (“faggots”), and ordered us to shut up and behave since otherwise we would be beaten.
38. The commanding officer directed us into a room and ordered us to get undressed down to our underwear and get in a line to be processed for the cell. At the head of the line there were two police officers holding a “cacetete,” a weapon made of hard rubber with a wooden handle. They ordered us to walk by them to the cell. Each time we passed, they smacked us hard twice in the buttocks saying this was our stamp to get in the cell. Being hit by the “cacete” was very painful.
39. The commanding officer forced us into a ten foot by ten foot cell with a cement floor and six common criminals. The officer told the criminals “here come your girlfriends, rape them and do what you want with them.” He encouraged the criminals to sexually abuse us! The criminals clarified that they were in there for some time for different kinds of offenses from fights, to car thefts and drugs.
40. As soon as the officer left, the criminals attacked us, pairing up, making us perform oral sex and raping us. I cried to myself as I endured this rape by two criminals. I knew that we were outnumbered and the police condoned the criminals’ actions, so there was nothing I could do to escape.
41. At sunrise, when a guard came to the cell to check on us, we asked when we were to see the Police Chief. The guard told us that it might not be until tomorrow if he decides to take the day off. I became petrified that I was to be detained without charges indefinitely at the mercy of these criminals and their sexual abuse.
42. Thankfully a few hours later, an officer finally came to bring us from the cell to see the Police Chief. We were ordered up against the wall when the Chief came in. In front of the other officers, the Chief insulted us as “viados” (“faggots”) and asked us how we enjoyed the evening in the cell. He ordered us to walk across the room, still in our underwear, saying that we walked like faggots. He warned us that he did not want to hear anything about us or see us hanging out on the street, since the next time, we would not be released the following day but be kept in jail for our faggot ways. He then ordered us to get dressed and sent us out of the police station. “Look at the faggots walk,” the Chief and other officers laughed as we left. It was therefore now completely clear to me that the Chief and police had detained me and my friends and encouraged the criminals to sexually abuse us as punishment simply because we were gay.
43. I suffered bruises from the criminals’ rape all over, including in my rectum and I could not sit down for days from the pain. I did not seek medical attention for fear of being identified as a homosexual by the doctor and mistreated. I did not report the actions of the police since it was the police themselves who told the criminals to abuse us. I believed if I tried to make some sort of complaint, I would only be attacked again by the police. In Brazil, gay men frequently “disappear” and I feared for my life if the police thought I was a troublemaker.
» Practice pointer: If the applicant suffers an injury which requires medical treatment, it’s important to obtain the medical records. If the applicant did not seek medical treatment, it’s important to explain why not since the adjudicator may wonder why the applicant has not provided medical records otherwise.
44. About one month after the arrest, on the Wednesday before Good Friday of 1997, at around 8:30 p.m., I was with my friend Silvio, and another friend, Jose, just walking down the street together, when we saw two police cars approaching. The sight of the police sent us running for our lives given the Chief’s previous threat against us if the police found us again. I could not escape too far but scrambled up a bushy tree from where I could not see much of what happened but could hear everything. I heard the police officers shout “stop!” I heard one of my friends, Jose, begging the officers to let him go because he had done nothing wrong. The police said that he looked like a faggot and that they would take him to the station. “Get in,” they shouted to him and drove off.
45. After they left, I got down from the tree thankful that I had not been discovered but panicked over what might happen to Jose. I later learned that they detained him overnight without charges. He wouldn’t speak with us about what happened to him in jail, so I suspect that he was also subjected to sexual abuse.
46. During this time, I had started to take classes at night so that I could get my high school graduation certificate. I had begun to realize that I wouldn’t have any future if I didn’t go back to school. In the fall of 1997, I began to take business classes part-time at the University of Sao Paulo while continuing to work at the clothes store.
47. At the end of February, 1998, I went to Rio de Janeiro to spend Carnaval. On a Saturday night at around midnight, I was walking in a park with an acquaintance named David when two police officers suddenly appeared. The officers demanded to know what we were doing. We told them that we were only talking, which was the truth. The officers called us liars since no two men would go to a park just to talk. They demanded to know which of us was the “bicha” (“faggot”). We denied that we were faggots. They responded that if we did not confess, they would take both of us to jail where we would be kept until Ash Wednesday. I decided to confess since I feared the abuse we would face in jail. They ordered David to leave.
48. When I asked whether I could go now, they responded, “Not before you give us something in return.” The officers pointed their guns at me and ordered me to perform oral sex on both of them. I felt sickened to have to do this, but realized that they had guns and I was completely at their mercy. The abuse lasted around 30 minutes. Afterwards, they released me, telling me “Go, but don’t look back or you’re dead.” As I walked from the park, I shivered in fear that they would shoot me in the back even as I did not look back at them. Again, with the police themselves abusing me and threatening me, I was too afraid to try to report what happened. I didn’t want to go near a police station for fear I’d see the same officers again.
49. After this incident happened, I decided that I would try to avoid going to places where gay people gathered because I was terrified to have another encounter with the police. For the next couple of years I focused all of my energies on working during the day and going to school at night. This was a lonely time for me but I felt like my life was moving forward since I was doing well in school.
50. It wasn’t possible for me to live my life completely without human contact, however, so one night in June, 2001, after an exam, I went out to a bar with Christian, a gay friend from the university. I was returning home late at night at around 1 a.m., when two police officers stopped me and asked where I was coming from. I told them the truth that I was coming from a bar called Los Ventos. Everyone knew that gay people met each other at this bar, so the police assumed I was gay and began to ridicule me. They told me that I was a faggot, looking to get “fucked,” and that they would take me into the station to let the prisoners have fun with me. I was terrified of being thrown in with the common criminals again and being sexually abused again, so I told them I had to get home to go to work the next morning and began to walk away. One officer took his cacetete in rage and smacked my left hand threatening me to “get out of their sight, faggot!”
51. I was so afraid, I started running. I remember that I could hardly see while I was running because I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I really believed that I was going to be shot in the back for running away from them, but at that point I decided that I’d rather be killed than be forced again to have sex with the police. Even now when I think about it I remember how I felt that night, scared, angry, humiliated, and completely powerless to protect my rights in a country where the police are free to attack us.
52. That night I decided that whatever it took, I had to get out of Brazil. Later that week, I applied for a tourist visa to come to the U.S. but it was denied.
53. After many years of not having an honest conversation with my family about my sexuality, I finally sat down and told my mother everything that I had experienced because I am gay. We talked late into the night, both crying and she agreed to help me get out of Brazil. She helped me pay for a plane ticket to Mexico, and on June 23, 2001, I flew to Mexico City. After that, I met up with some coyotes who were friends of my mother’s brother. On July 7, 2001, I entered the United States without inspection by Laredo, TX.
» Practice pointer: Although in this case the applicant missed the one year filing deadline so his exact date of entry is not essential, it is still helpful to bolster his overall credibility if he can submit evidence confirming his story of entering the United States Thus, he should submit a copy of the airline ticket or passport with the entry stamp into Mexico. It will also be crucial to include an affidavit or letter from the applicant’s mother confirming that she agreed to help him after concluding that his life was at risk in Brazil.
54. On July 18, 2005, at the Callen-Lorde Community Health Center, I tested HIV-positive. The news devastated me partly since I always practiced safer sex, except when the police and criminals in Brazil sexually abused me against my will. I panic just thinking about being deported to Brazil as a gay man living with HIV. It is my understanding that there is intense discrimination against people with HIV and AIDS in Brazil. Because of poor information about AIDS, people with HIV and AIDS are treated unfairly. Those who have the disease are ostracized and treated like lepers. I recall that many times while in Brazil since people think homosexuals are responsible for AIDS and are AIDS carriers, people who suspected that I was a homosexual insulted and threatened me as an AIDS carrier even when I was HIV-negative. Now that I am HIV-positive, I believe they will try to hurt me any way possible by not treating me in the hospital, refusing to give me employment, and not protecting me from police or gang violence.
55. I also fear for my life if deported because I am a gay man, considering the abuse I already experienced as a homosexual and considering the rise of the death squads that have been killing homosexuals with impunity. I have heard from my friends in Brazil of several people in my city who were murdered because of their sexual orientation and HIV status. I heard that in May 2003, Oswaldo Borges, an acquaintance of mine was found dead at age 27, with his body dismembered at a gas station in town. It is believed that he was murdered because he was HIV-positive.
56. To date, I still experience nightmares over what happened to me with the police, criminals and society. However, I wake up and am thankful for having found real safety in the United States.
57. I did not apply for political asylum until now in the United States since I did not know that the persecution I suffered in the past and fear in the future as a gay man could be the basis for political asylum here. It was not until I was diagnosed with HIV, two months ago, that I learned about asylum from a social worker at the Callen-Lorde Community Health Center. The social worker, Martin Peña referred me to Immigration Equality.
58. Although I have always been afraid to return to Brazil because of my sexual orientation, now, as a gay man who is also HIV-positive I’m more afraid than ever. I believe that if I’m deported to Brazil I will again face abuse and rape by the police, and that the mistreatment I face will be even worse now that I am also HIV-positive.
59. It is my hope that after so much abuse and mistreatment as a homosexual including physical and sexual abuse by the police and criminals and the prospect of even more abuse and mistreatment as a homosexual with HIV/AIDS if deported to Brazil, that the Asylum Office will consider granting me political asylum in their discretion. I thank you for your consideration of my application.
Signature Line Joao Doe Sworn to before me this 15th day of February 2006
Signature Line Notary Public
This Manual is intended to provide information to attorneys and accredited representatives. It is not intended as legal advice. Asylum seekers should speak with qualified attorneys before applying.
This handbook is intended for use by pro bono attorneys and immigration attorneys working on LGBTQ/HIV asylum cases.
Self-help asylum guides for LGBTQ and HIV-positive people without attorneys.
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Above all else, your residency personal statement offers the opportunity to show your interest in your chosen specialty when applying to residency to illustrate you are a good fit.
The more details you offer about why you are interested in the specialty and how your med school rotations, accomplishments and experiences have reinforced this interest, the stronger your personal statement will be, the more it will appeal to selection committees and the better you will do in the match process.
I encourage applicants to offer as much “evidence” as possible to “show” rather than “tell” what qualities, characteristics and interests they have. “Telling” a reader, for example, that you are compassionate and hard working means nothing. Instead, you must “show” that you embody these qualities based on your experiences in health care and the patients for whom you have cared.
The residency personal statement also offers the opportunity to write about who you are as a person to convey some details about your background, influences, and interests outside of your given specialty.
The key when writing your residency personal statement is to ensure that it is well-balanced so it appeals to a large group of people who might read your ERAS residency application.
However, it is important to understand that every program director and faculty member has his or her own idea of what he would like to read in a personal statement. As an applicant, you must go into this process understanding that you cannot please everyone, or a specific program, and your personal statement should therefore have the broadest appeal possible.
For example, some program directors would rather hear about your personal interests and curiosities and get to know who you are rather than have you focus on the specialty in which you are interested.
At MedEdits, we suggest taking a “middle of the road” approach; include some details about who you are but also focus on the specialty itself. In this way, you will make more traditional reviewers who want to hear about your interest in the specialty happy while also satisfying those who would rather learn about you as a person.
Above all, be authentic and true to yourself when writing your statement. This always leads to the best results! Read on to learn more about how to write a winning personal statement.
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Residency applicants often do well when given outlines or templates to follow, so, we will offer that, but, it is important to realize that many applicants deviate from these rigid rules. One very typical outline that serves applicants quite well in the residency admissions process is:
The allowed ERAS residency personal statement length is 28,000 characters which equates to about five pages!
We have been hearing from more and more applicants that the personal statement should not exceed one page when typed in to the ERAS application . Because of this overwhelming trend, we are supporting this guidance unless you have extenuating circumstances that require your personal statement be longer.
Our recommendation is that your residency personal statement be a maximum of 5300 characters with spaces.
The best personal statements are easy to read, don’t make the reader think too much, and make your path and interests seem logical. Rarely does a personal statement have a theme. Also try to have each paragraph transition to the next seamlessly.
2. Your personal statement should be about you!
Your personal statement should be about you and no one else. Focus on your interests, your accomplishments and your path. This is your opportunity to be forthcoming about your achievements – by writing in detail about what you have done.
3. Be sure your personal statement clearly outlines your interest in the specialty.
Since the reader wants to be convinced of your understanding of, experience in, and curiosity about the specialty to which you are applying, be sure you highlight what you have done to explore your interest as well as your insights and observations about the specialty to show your understanding of it.
4. Make it human.
Again, your personal statement should be about you! The reader wants to know who you are, where you are from, what your interests are and who you are outside of medicine. Therefore, try to include those details about your background that are intriguing or important to you.
5. Express your interest in the specialty.
The reader fundamentally wants to know why you are pursuing the specialty. The more details you offer the more convincing you are about your commitment and your understanding of the specialty. Be sure to include details that might seem obvious. For example, in emergency medicine you must like acute care, but try to include more nuanced details about your interest, too. What aspects of the diagnoses and pathologies involved do you enjoy? What do you value about the actual work you will do? How do you feel about the patients for whom you will care?
6. The start and evolution of your interest.
Readers want to know how and when you became interested in your specialty. Was this before medical school? During medical school? What have you done to pursue and nurture your interest in the specialty?
7. What you have done to learn more about the specialty.
You should explain what you have done to pursue your interest. What rotations have you done or have planned? What research, scholarly work or community service activities have you pursued to further your interest?
8. Where you see yourself in the future – if you know!
Without going into too much detail, write about the type of setting in which you see yourself in the future. Do you hope to also participate in research, teaching, public health work or community outreach as a part of your career? What are your future goals? Since many programs typically train a certain type of physician, it is important that your goals are aligned with the programs to which you are applying.
9. What do you bring to the specialty?
You should try to identify what you can bring to the program and the specialty to which you are applying as a whole. For example, are you applying to family medicine and have a distinct interest in public health? Are you applying for internal medicine and do you have demonstrated expertise in information technology and hope to improve electronic medical records? Do you have extensive research or teaching experience, and do you hope to continue to pursue these interests in the future? Have you developed a commitment to global health, and do you hope to continue making contributions abroad? Programs have a societal obligation to select residents who will make valuable contributions in the future, so the more ambitions you have the more desirable a candidate you will be.
10. What type of program you hope to join?
Do you hope to be part of a community or university-based program? What are you seeking in a residency program? Programs are looking for residents who will be the right “fit” so offering an idea of what you are seeking in a program will help them determine if your values and goals mesh with those of the program.
11. Who you are outside of the hospital?
Try to bring in some personal elements about who you are. You can do this in a few ways. If you have any outside interests or accomplishments that complement your interest in your specialty, such as extracurricular work, global work, teaching or volunteer efforts, write about them in detail, and, in doing so, show the reader a different dimension of your personality. Or, consider opening your statement by writing about an experience related to your hobbies or outside interests. Write about this in the form of an introductory vignette. I suggest taking this nontraditional approach only if you are a talented writer and can somehow relate your outside interest to the specialty you are pursuing, however. An interest in the arts can lend itself to dermatology, plastic surgery or ophthalmology, for example. Or, an interest in technology could relate to radiology .
12. Any personal challenges?
Also explain any obstacles you have overcome: Were you the first in your family to graduate from college? Were you an immigrant? Did you have limited financial resources and work through college? Many applicants tend to shy away from the very things that make them impressive because they are afraid of appearing to be looking for sympathy. As long as you explain how you have overcome adversity in a positive or creative way, your experience will be viewed as the tremendous accomplishment that it is. The personal statement should explain any unusual or distinctive aspects of your background.
Do not tell your entire life story or write a statement focused on your childhood or undergraduate career.
Do not write about why you wanted to be a doctor. This is old news. From the reviewers perspective, you already are a doctor!
Do not write a personal statement focused on one hobby or begin with your birth. Some background information might be useful if it offers context to your choices and path, but your residency personal statement should be focused on the present and what you have done to pursue your interest in the specialty to which you are applying.
Do not preach. The reader understands what it means to practice his specialty and does not need you to tell him. Don’t write, for example: Internal medicine requires that a physician be knowledgeable, kind and compassionate. The reader wants to know about you!
Do not put down other specialties. You don’t need to convince anyone of your interest by writing something negative about other specialties. Doing so just makes you look bad. If you switched residencies or interests, you can explain what else you were seeking and what you found in the specialty of your choice that interests you.
Do not embellish. Program directors are pretty good at sniffing out inconsistencies and dishonesty. Always tell the truth and be honest and authentic.
Do not plagiarize. While this seems obvious to most people, every year people copy personal statements they find online or hire companies that use stock phrases and statement to compose statements for applicants. Don’t do it!
Do not write about sensitive topics. Even if you were in a relationship that ended and resulted in a poor USMLE score , this is not a topic for a personal statement. In general, it is best to avoid discussing relationships, politics, ethical issues and religion.
Do not boast. Any hint of arrogance or self-righteousness may result in getting rejected. There is a fine line between confidence and self promotion. Some people make the mistake of over-selling themselves or writing about all of their fantastic qualities and characteristics. Rarely do readers view such personal statements favorably.
Do not write an overly creative piece. A residency personal statement should be professional. This work is equivalent to a job application. Don’t get too creative; stay focused.
An increasing number of applicants are applying to more than one specialty in medicine especially if the first choice specialty is very competitive. If you are applying to more than one specialty, even if there is disciplinary overlap between the two (for example family medicine and pediatrics), we advise you write a distinct specialty for each. Remember that a physician who practices the specialty you hope to join will most likely be reviewing your statement. He or she will definitely be able to determine if the personal statement illustrates a true understanding of the specialty. If you try to recycle an entire personal statement or parts of a personal statement for two specialties, there is a high likelihood the personal statement will communicate that you aren’t sincerely interested in that specialty or that you don’t really understand what the specialty is about.
The personal statement is also the place to explain any red flags in your application, such as gaps in time or a leave of absence. When addressing any red flags, explain what happened succinctly. Be honest, don’t make excuses, and don’t dwell on the topic. Whenever possible, write about how you have matured or grown from the adversity or what you may have learned and how this benefits you.
If you have left a program or had a break in your medical education, you will also have the chance to explain this in your ERAS application . You should also write about this topic in your personal statement only if you have more to explain, however.
If you have failed a Step exam or one course in medical school, this likely isn’t something to address in the personal statement. However, you should be prepared to discuss any failure during an interview. By the same token, it is best not to address one low grade or poor attending evaluation in your statement.
Have you taken a circuitous path to medicine? If so you might address why you made these choices and what you found so interesting about medicine that was lacking in your former career.
Below are two great examples of residency personal statements that earned the applicants who wrote them numerous interviews and first choice matches. As you will see, these two applicants took very different approaches when writing the personal statement yet wrote equally persuasive and “successful” personal statements.
Suggested outline:.
Below is an example of the traditional approach:
This is a great personal statement because it clearly conveys the applicant’s interest in, and understanding of, obstetrics and gynecology (OB/GYN) and what the applicant has done to pursue that interest. Not only does this applicant have a long-standing interest in OB/GYN, but, she conveys that she has experienced the specialty in different settings and understands the diverse nature of the specialty. She also includes information about her hobbies and interests and writes about her exploration of OB/GYN outside of the clinical arena. An added bonus is that the applicant writes well and uses descriptive language making her statement interesting and fun to read.
Many mentors advise applicants to tell the reader something about them that is unrelated to medicine or the specialty they are pursuing. This is a fine idea, but be sure your personal statement also includes some details about your interest in your specialty if you decide to move in this direction.
The landscape before me was lush and magical. We had been hiking for hours and had found a great spot to set up camp. As I was unloading my backpack and helping to pitch the tent, I saw a scene I knew I had to capture. I quickly grabbed my carefully packed Leica before the magnificent sunset disappeared. Trying to get the perfect exposure, I somehow managed to capture this image so accurately that it reflected the beauty of what was before us high in the mountains of Utah, so far away from the hustle and bustle of New York City where we attended medical school.
This is a really intriguing personal statement because the author writes about his outside interests in a compelling way that makes him instinctively likable. He then goes on to explain what he enjoys about surgery and what he has done to pursue that interest. As you can see, this applicant writes less about his specialty (surgery) than the applicant in statement #1 did, but, he still convinces the reader of his understanding of, and commitment to, surgery. In this statement, the reader gains a much broader understanding of who the applicant is as a person and what he likes to do in his free time.
Writing your residency personal statement should be about telling your story in your own voice and style. You want to highlight your interest in the specialty for which you are applying while also conveying some ideas about who you are as a person to keep your reader engaged in learning about you as a person.
MedEdits Medical Admissions offers comprehensive guidance and document review services for residency applicants to every specialty in medicine. With more than twenty years of experience in residency admissions and founded by a former residency admissions officer and physician, MedEdits understands what program directors want to read and can help you decide what aspects of your background to focus on in your residency personal statement to earn the most interviews possible.
JESSICA FREEDMAN, M.D. , a former medical school and residency admissions officer at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai , is the founder and chair of MedEdits Medical Admissions and author of three top-selling books about the medical admissions process that you can find on Amazon .
AOA Guide Series: How to Write a Personal Statement Example of Personal Statement for Family Medicine 2 My path to medical school was filled with challenges. This adversity, however, has shaped my.
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How to start a personal statement.
Start with why you chose it, then try and summarise this in one or two sentences. Be original and refer to personal experiences as a way to draw attention. Avoid overused opening sentences, quotes and clichés like 'when I was young…' They want to know about you now, not your childhood or Shakespeare!
What makes a good personal statement? Explain the reason for your choice and how it fits in with your aspirations for the future. Give examples of any related academic or work experience. Show you know what the course will involve and mention any special subjects you're interested in.
3:20 8:29 Personal Statement for EB-2 NIW green card application - YouTube YouTube Start of suggested clip End of suggested clip This is really a letter. You have your background. You repeat your background. Maybe you condenseMoreThis is really a letter. You have your background. You repeat your background. Maybe you condense your background in summary. And then this should be less than half of document.
Depending on what type of status you are seeking, your personal statement will describe the unique circumstances in your life that argue for approval of your petition and/or application.
Your immigration support letter should include: A signature, printed name, and job title of the supervisor or employer. The business's contact information. A business card. The applicant's job title. The applicant's salary, employment dates, and a detailed description of duties.
The structure of the personal statement can be the following: Date. Salutation. Similar to the recommendation letters, it is courteous to include some sort of salutation to the USCIS officer that will review the document. ... Subject line. ... Petitioner´s background. ... Petitioner's professional plans. ... Name and signature.
Statement of Purpose for visa application. Address. Subject. Introduction. Academic Background and details. Professional Experience. Reasons why you choose this particular Course. Career Goals and aspirations.
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How to write your cv, how to write your personal statement.
The purpose of a personal statement is to showcase your relevant skills and experience against the job requirements. The statement is your opportunity to give examples of how you fit the requirements of the job. When writing a personal statement it is important that you:
For some jobs, you will be asked to provide a CV (curriculum vitae) as part of your application. Here you can find information on how to write the best CV.
Behaviours are the things that people do that result in effective performance. Read more about the behaviours we use to assess you.
Read about the different kinds of assessments you might be asked to do, after you’ve submitted an application form.
The Civil Service recruits using Success Profiles. This means that for every role, we consider what you’ll need to demonstrate to be successful.
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Here's a template to help you structure it: Introduction: Your name and relationship to your U.S. citizen spouse or stepparent. Brief statement of why you're applying for PIP. Your Life in the U.S.: When and how you came to the U.S. Your ties to the community (work, volunteer activities, etc.) Your Family:
The personal statement is the opportunity to answer the questions, why law school and why now. If your immigrant story is part of the answer, then introduce the narrative here. If you hope to become a tax attorney, your immigrant story may be best told in your diversity statement. Each statement should stand alone.
My Immigrant Personal Statement. 703 Words3 Pages. My most rewarding accomplishment consists of my ability to overcome the fear and weakness that was conceived upon my arrival to the United States from Mexico, in addition to a newly evolved character which allowed me to achieve academic, professional, and personal success.
Help the asylum officer understand your background. Heartland Alliance for Human Needs & Human Rights | National Immigrant Justice Center 224 S. Michigan Ave., Suite 600, Chicago, Illinois 60604 | ph: 312-660-1370 | fax: 312-660-1505 | www.immigrantjustice.org.
How To Write Your Asylum Story. Your asylum application will ask for a personal statement—also called your asylum story. In your personal statement, you explain why are you are applying for asylum. Check out our guide about how to write your asylum story effectively. If you have any questions about how to write your asylum story, please ...
In short, the personal statement is the center of the asylum application - all other parts of the application stem from it. The personal statement is the key part of the application that explains to the government why you should be granted protection in the United States. It has the power to determine whether your application is granted or ...
evidence that you suffered persecution. To show your identity, include a copy of your passport, or other official documents such as your birth certificate, national identity card, or driver's license. The U.S. government expects that you can prove your identity, so make sure to provide some documentation.
The personal statement is very important. Because there is no court hearing or interview involved in a T visa application, the written personal statement is the only opportunity you have to tell your story in your own words and for USCIS to hear your "voice." Your attorney or a crime victim advocate can help you organize your story but it should be in your own words. If you can't get a ...
So, the personal statement is your best opportunity to share something personal they don't already know. Be sure to provide insight into who you are, your background and how it's shaped the person you are today, and finally, who you hope to be in the future. 2. Be genuine. If you haven't faced adversity or overcome major life obstacles ...
Therefore, your personal statement should provide as much detail as possible to allow USCIS to make a decision. Your letter should answer the following questions: Describe each incident where you were subjected to battery or extreme cruelty by your spouse. Include the following details: The date of each occurrence, The location of each occurrence,
A document attesting to someone's good character is a reference letter written for a friend, colleague, or employee seeking naturalization in which the writer speaks positively about the subject's qualities and personality. The reference provider must be sufficiently familiar with the applicant in order for the letter to serve its intended purpose. Applying to become a citizen of a new ...
When. applying for asylum. , you write a personal statement and sign it under oath. The personal statement not only gives the applicant the chance to present certain information, but it also allows the applicant to put a human face on the application. The first portion of the personal statement should contain certain biographical information ...
Personal statements highlight what CVs cannot about students: their character; their approaches to facing challenges, both personal and professional; their strengths; and their knowledge of and their ability to express themselves as individuals. ... For immigrants, refugees, and foreign students, oftentimes stories of immigration and relocation ...
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Below, please find some guidance on how to write this type of letter. Introduce yourself, your immigration status, and address. If you are doing so in a professional capacity, letterhead is sufficient and no need to include a personal address. State your relationship to this person and for how long you have known him/her.
I-918, Petition for U Nonimmigrant Status. ALERT: As of July 22, 2024, we met the fiscal year 2024 statutory cap of 10,000 individuals who can be issued U-1 nonimmigrant visas or granted U-1 nonimmigrant status per fiscal year. We adjudicated petitions to meet the statutory cap based on filing date, with the oldest petitions receiving highest ...
Checklist of Information To Include in Form I-130 Cover Letter. USCIS will find it most helpful if you include the following information in your cover letter: Your contact information. The USCIS address to which you're sending this letter. Your full name as the petitioner. Your relative's full name as the beneficiary.
Personal Statement Examples. Essay 1: Summer Program. Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American. Essay 3: Why Medicine. Essay 4: Love of Writing. Essay 5: Starting a Fire. Essay 6: Dedicating a Track. Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders. Essay 8: Becoming a Coach.
Conclude your letter with a forward-looking statement. For example, "I look forward to discussing the position further." Sample 1: "Dear hiring manager, I am excited to be applying for the Immigration Officer position at the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS).
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY CITIZENSHIP AND IMMIGRATION SERVICES ASYLUM OFFICE LYNDHURST, NEW JERSEY IN THE MATTER OF: JOAO DOE. STATEMENT IN SUPPORT OF APPLICATION FOR POLITICAL ASYLUM. I, Joao Doe, declare under the penalty of perjury, pursuant to 18 U.S.C. sec. 1546, that the following is true and correct:
Ensure your personal statement flows well; The best personal statements are easy to read, don't make the reader think too much, and make your path and interests seem logical. Rarely does a personal statement have a theme. Also try to have each paragraph transition to the next seamlessly. 2. Your personal statement should be about you!
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When writing a personal statement it is important that you: Read the job specification so you are clear about the job requirements. Outline the skills and experience that you have that are relevant to the job and use examples to help demonstrate this. Wherever possible include specific facts and figures that demonstrate the tangible results of ...