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Last updated August 7, 2024

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. That's why we recommend reading some example essays before you start writing your own.

Now, before we get into our examples, we should quickly talk about what admissions officers look for in personal statements in the first place.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

• Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
• Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
• Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
• Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
• Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

• Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
• Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
• Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
• Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #1: Reinvention

For our first example, which we’ve titled “Reinvention,” we’re going to watch Alex break the essay down paragraph by paragraph. This one’s really good. Let’s take a look.

As Alex explains, this essay takes a couple of (very beautiful!) paragraphs to get to its central message: reinvention. Once we reach that turning point, the writer seamlessly introduces us to their engineering interests, then returns again to their mother’s influence. The metaphor of “watermelon rinds” ties everything together. The writer comes across as a clever, thoughtful person—one we would surely want on our campus.

(Want to see more video examples and get personalized application and essay help? Let’s work together. )

Personal Statement Example #2: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

• Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
• Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
• Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #3: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

• Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
• Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
• Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #4: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

• Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
• Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
• Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #5: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

• Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
• Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
• Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #6: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

• Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
• Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
• Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #7: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

• Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
• Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
• Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #8: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

• Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
• Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
• Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #9: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

• Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
• Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
• Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #10: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

• Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
• Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
• More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #11: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

• Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
• Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
• Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #12: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

• Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
• Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
• Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #13: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

• Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
• Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
• What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

• Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
• Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
• More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

• Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

• Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #16: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

• Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
• Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
• Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

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Essay Examples 20 Personal Statement Examples That Stand Out + Why They Work

This is your ultimate list of Personal Statement examples.

In this post, you'll learn:

• What makes a successful Personal Statement
• How to write an irresistible Personal Statement
• Ivy League personal essay examples

If you're looking to read and write Personal Statement essays, you've found the right place.

In this post, I'm going to share everything you need to go from zero to having a Personal Statement essay you can be proud of.

This guide will help you get started writing an engaging Personal Statement essay. Or if you already have one, how to make it even better.

What is a Personal Statement Essay?

A personal statement, also called a statement of purpose (SOP) or personal essay, is a piece of creative, personal writing.

The purpose of your personal statement is to express yourself and your ideas. Personal statements usually aren't piece of formal writing, but still should be thoughtful and planned out.

Many applications for colleges, graduate schools, and scholarships require you to write a personal statement.

How to Write a Personal Statement Essay

While there are no rules or guidelines for writing a personal statement, the best ones often have these in common:

Have Strong Ideas:

Having compelling and interesting ideas shows you are a strong thinker.

It isn't necessarily about having all the answers, but asking the right questions.

For personal statement essays, the quality of your ideas matters more than your writing level. Writing interestingly is more important than writing beautifully.

I’ve stopped tripping over my own feet, and it’s led to me not being afraid to connect and interact with patients and customers or present in front of large crowds. Life is just one long Carioca – you might stumble at first, but if you keep pushing, the right feet will find themselves in the right place. From an accepted essay to UNC at Chapel Hill →

Be Authentic

Writing authentic essays means writing from the heart.

The best personal statements tend to come naturally, because the writer is excited about the topic.

Choose an idea that makes you feel excited to write about and start writing.

As you begin drafting, ideas will naturally arise related to your original idea. Exploring these tangential ideas is what leads to even better reflections for your essay.

That's why it's so important to be genuinely passionate about your subject. You can't just have an interest "in the topic," but there has to be something deeper you're writing about that moves you.

Use Narratives and Story-Telling:

Humans are naturally drawn to stories.

And often the best insights and ideas come from real life experiences.

Telling a story, or many, is the basis for developing your analysis and ideas. Remember, all stories need conflict in order to work.

It can help to think about the different types of conflict.

• Character vs. Self
• Character vs. Character
• Character vs. Nature
• Character vs. Society

And so on...

Once you've written a meaningful story, getting insights is as simple as answering the question: What did your experiences teach you?

The sounds of my knife striking kale unnerves my cat asleep in the corner. He quickly runs over to examine the situation but becomes instantly uninterested when he sees green and smells bitterness. Unfortunately, my family has this same reaction every day of every week. From an accepted essay to University of Southern California →

Showcase Your Values and Identity:

The purpose of a personal statement is to tell about who you are.

Personal statements are your opportunity to showcase what your values are, and how you would contribute to the school, scholarship opportunity, etc.

Good writers are those who write authentically. Write about your unique ideas and ask interesting questions, even if you don't know the answers.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

A typical personal statement can range in length from 500 to 650 words or more.

For applying to colleges, the Common Application essay personal statement has a word limit of 650 words.

For graduate school programs, the application essay will vary in length, but most schools require a personal statement essay of at least 500 words.

20 Personal Statement Essays That Worked

It can be difficult to understand what makes a great essay without seeing some for yourself.

Here's 20 of our favorite personal statement essays that we've chosen for being unique and high-quality.

There essays were all accepted into some of the most selective schools. And while it isn't the only factor in admissions that matters, having outstanding essays can help tip the scales in your favor.

Table of Contents

Prompt: Background, Identity, or Interest

• 1. Uncomfortable Truths
• 2. Romanian Heritage
• 3. Film and Theater
• 4. Person of the Woods
• 5. Beautiful Walks

Prompt: Lessons from Obstacles

• 6. My Father
• 7. Self-Determination
• 8. Game Design Music
• 9. Speech and Debate

Prompt: Questioned or Challenged a Belief

• 10. Finding Answers

Prompt: Accomplishment, Event, or Realization

• 11. Connecting with Others
• 12. Summer Confidence
• 13. First Impressions
• 14. Law Career
• 15. Growing Up Asian

Prompt: Engaging Topic, Idea, or Concept

• 16. Secrets of Riddles
• 17. Rubik's Cube
• 18. Narrative Diversity

Prompt: Any Topic of Your Choice

• 19. Search for Dreams
• 20. Recipe for Success

Personal Statement Example #1: Uncomfortable Truths

This is a personal statement that worked for Princeton . It is outstanding for many reasons, but most of all because of its ideas and the thoughtfulness put into organizing them.

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

Why This Essay Works:

Having a unifying idea is key to successful personal statements. Find your deepest idea or realization and focus your essay around that.

Find a way to showcase your achievements while connecting to broader, more universal ideas.

Connecting your ending to your beginning is a powerful way to bring your essay full circle. A great conclusion expands on your ideas introduced earlier, while leaving some room for more to be said.

Learn the Secrets of Successful Top-20 Applications

Join 4,000+ students and parents that already receive our 5-minute free newsletter , packed with T-20 essay examples, writing tips & tricks, and step-by-step guides.

Personal Statement Example #2: Film and Theater

This student's essay was accepted to USC , among other top schools. It's topic is seemingly simple—taking walks—but the author brilliantly shows how even in the mundane there can be meaningful reflections.

This essay has lots of moments where the author's character comes across vividly. By using conversational language and interjections like "I want to—no, need—to...", the author has a clear "voice" and you can easily imagine them as if they were speaking directly to you. This student also showcases self-awareness and a sense of humor, by using slightly self-deprecating phrases like "some chubby, nerdy girl" and by recognizing how the social approval of sitting with the "popular girls" was enthralling at the time. Self-awareness is a highly valuable trait to portray, because it shows that you're able to reflect on both your strengths and weaknesses, which is a skill needed to be able to grow and develop.

This author manages to tie in their activity of producing films and reference them specifically ("Cardboard Castles") by connecting them to their main point. Instead of listing their activities or referencing them out-of-the-blue, they show how these accomplishments are perfect examples of a greater message. In this case, that message is how meaningful it is to connect with others through storytelling. To write about your activities and achievements without seeming arbitrary or boastful, make them have a specific purpose in your essay: connect to a value, idea, or use them as examples to show something.

In the intro of this essay, there are some descriptions that seem fiction-like and are ultimately unimportant to the main idea. Sentences that describe Mrs. Brewer's appearance or phrases describing how their teacher stood up after talking to them ultimately don't contribute to the story. Although these provide "context," the only context that admissions are interested in is context and details which have a purpose. Avoid writing like fiction books, which describe all the characters and settings, and instead only describe exactly what is needed to "go somewhere" in your essay.

What They Might Improve:

This essay has a strong hook which captivates the reader by making them ask a question: "What are these lunch-time horror stories?" By sparking the reader's imagination early on, you can draw them into your writing and be more engaged. However, ultimately this is somewhat of a letdown because these intriguing "lunch-time horror stories" are never described. Although it may not be completely necessary for the main point, describing one example or hinting at it more closely would be satisfying for the reader and still connect to the main idea of storytelling. One idea is to replace the conclusion with a reference to these "lunch-time horror stories" more vividly, which would be a satisfying ending that also could connect to filmmaking and storytelling. In general, anticipate what the reader will be looking for, and either use that expectation to your advantage by subverting it, or give them what they want as a satisfying, meaningful conclusion.

Although this conclusion could work as is, it could be stronger by seeming less arbitrary and less "fancy for fancy sake." Often, a good strategy is to connect your conclusion to something earlier in your essay such as your introduction or specific wording that you used throughout. In this essay, it could work much better to end by revealing one of those "lunch-time horror stories" in a way that also emphasizes their main point: how storytelling is a powerful tool to connect people.

Personal Statement Example #3: Romanian Heritage

This personal statement worked for UMichigan , among many other top schools like MIT, Rice, UNC at Chapel Hill , University of Pittsburgh, UW Madison, and more.

This author is able to vividly bring you into their world using cultural references and descriptive writing. You can practically taste and smell Buni's kitchen through her words.

This essay starts off by posing a challenge, which is typical of essays. But rather than showing how they overcame this particular challenge of speaking Romanian without an accent, this reader shows how something unexpected—baking—came to satisfy what was missing all along. By the end, this creates a conclusion that is both surprising, connected to the beginning, and makes perfect sense once you've read it. In other words, the conclusion is inevitable, but also surprising in content.

This student uses Romanian words to help exemplify the culture and language. If you're writing about a culture, using foreign language words can be a compelling way of adding depth to your essay. By including specific terms like "muni" and "cornulete," it shows a depth of knowledge which cannot be faked. Always use specific, tangible language where possible, because it is "evidence" that you know what you're talking about.

This student exhibits strong self-awareness by noting characteristics about themself, even some which may not be the most glamorous ("can be overbearing at times, stubborn in the face of offered help"). Rather than telling the reader flat out about these personal attributes, they are able to discuss them by connecting to another person—their grandmother Buni. Using another person to showcase your own character (through comparison or contrast) is a literary "foil," which can be an effective way of showing your character without stating it outright, which generally is boring and less convincing.

This student doesn't focus on surface-level ideas like "how they got better at speaking Romanian." Instead, they reflect in a creative way by connecting the Romanian language to baking. Revealing unseen connections between topics is a great way to show that you're a thoughtful and clever thinker. Ultimately, having unique ideas that are specific to you is what will create a compelling essay, and this essay is a perfect example of what that could look like.

Personal Statement Example #4: Person of the Woods

This essay was accepted into Dartmouth College . It is a brilliant example of showing how any experience, even those which originally may have been unpleasant, can be the topic of meaningful reflection.

Using visuals, like descriptions of scenarios and environments, can help bring the reader into your world. However, make sure that all of your descriptions are relevant to your main point, or else they could be distracting. For example, in this essay it would be unnecessary to describe what they're wearing or the appearance of canoes, but it makes sense to describe the nature as it relates to the main topic.

People are not isolated units. Instead, everyone depends on and is defined by those around them. By showing how you relate and connect with other people, you can provide insights into your character. In this essay, the student does a great job of delving into their strong friendships, particularly what they've learned from their friends.

Admissions officers love to see self-growth. Showing how your perspective on something has changed (in this case, how they went from disliking to loving an activity) conveys a development of your character. Ask yourself: what preconceived notions did I have before, and how did they change? This student reflects in a humble way, by first emphasizing what they've learned from others, before offering up what they might have contributed themselves. Always try to have a tone of gratitude in your essays because it makes you more likeable and shows strong character.

Personal Statement Example #5: Beautiful Walks

Personal Statement Example #6: My Father's Death

This personal statement was admitted to Michigan in recent years. It is an outstanding example of how you can write about topics that are often cliché if done poorly, such as the death of a family member.

But unlike other essays, this one works because it has a unique take and genuine approach to the topic that makes it come off as heartfelt.

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

Writing about a tragedy like a loss of a parent is a tricky topic for college essays. Many students feel obligated to choose that topic if it applies to them, but it can be challenging to not come across as trying to garner sympathy ("sob story"). This student does a graceful job of focusing on positive elements from their father's legacy, particularly the inspiration they draw from him.

This student does a great job of connecting their educational and career aspirations to their background. Admissions officers want to understand why you're pursing what you are, and by explaining the origin of your interests, you can have compelling and genuine reasons why.

In this essay, the student writes from their hypothetical perspective as an infant. This doesn't quite work because they likely wouldn't remember these moments ("I have no conscious memories of him"), but still writes as though they do. By writing about things you haven't seen or experienced yourself, it can come across as "made up" or inauthentic.

Personal Statement Example #7: Self-Determination

Some of the best essay topics are dealing with challenges you've faced, because difficulties make it easier to reflect upon what you've learned. Admissions officers ultimately are looking for self-growth, and showing how you've handled personal challenges can demonstrate your new understandings as a result. However, avoid talking about "tragedy" or difficulty without a clear purpose. Don't write about it because you think "you should," only write about challenges if they are true to yourself and you have something meaningful and unique to say about them. Otherwise, it can come off as trying to garner sympathy (i.e. "sob stories") which admissions officers generally dislike.

More convincing than telling admissions officers, is presenting them with "evidence" and allowing them to come to the conclusion themselves. If you want to show the idea "I couldn't learn due to this condition," it is far more effective to do what this student did and say, "I'd just finished learning complex trig identities, and I now couldn't even count to ten." When drafting, it is normal and okay to start off with more "telling" as you get your ideas on paper. But as your essay progresses, you should transform those moments of "telling" into more powerful and convincing moments of "showing."

Having meaningful reflections is a critical part of having compelling essays. But make sure your takeaways are not surface-level or generic. Each admissions officer has likely read thousands of essays, so they are well aware of the common ideas and tropes. Avoid cliché ideas at all costs, because it comes across as forgettable and unoriginal. Instead, it is okay to start with surface-level ideas, but keep asking yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" to push your ideas deeper.

This essay tells a nice story of overcoming their physical impediment, but ultimately lacks meaningful reflections in the conclusion. Too much time is spent on "the problem" and not enough on how they overcame it. Your conclusion should have your best, most compelling ideas in your entire essay. Try ending your essay by connecting to the beginning with a new perspective, expanding on your idea with a new takeaway, or connecting to broader, more universal themes. Avoid having a conclusion that "sounds nice," but ultimately is lacking in meaningful content.

Personal Statement Example #8: Game Design Music

This essay was admitted into Cornell University . It discusses a common conflict of ideology that comes with pursuing the arts. What the author does brilliantly is show how that conflict was reconciled, as well as how it changed their perspective.

My mom used to tell me this a lot. She’d always disapproved of my passion for the arts.

In this essay, the author does a fantastic job of showing how they are thoughtful in considering the perspectives of others, even though they may disagree. Showing that you can entertain ideas that you may disagree with is an admirable trait that admissions officers love to see, because intellectual discussion is all about trying to see other people's views. When writing about things that you may disagree with, try to play devil's advocate and see things from their point of view. Doing so will make you come off as thoughtful, understanding, and inquisitive, and it will strengthen your own viewpoint if you can identify arguments against it.

The best essays help admissions officers understand how you think about things. One strategy is to offer up questions to explore. These can be questions that arose during a particular moment or questions that you're reflecting upon right now. By using questions in your essay, you'll also present yourself as a thoughtful and curious thinker. Ultimately, you want to help the reader see things from your perspective by showing your thought process.

A good starting place for reflection can be in comparing and contrasting different topics. This could finding the similarities and differences in an extracurricular and an academic class, or any other number of things. By finding the similarities in things often thought of as "opposing," or finding the differences in things thought of as "similar," you can get to interesting ideas. Comparisons are useful because they force you to think from a different viewpoint. For example in this essay: How does "programming" relate to "song lyrics"?

This essay ends on a note that feels somewhat off-topic and not as interesting as their main idea. The conclusion leaves more to be wanted, as the reader ends up thinking: Are you simply seeking the approval of your parents? Or are you carving your own path in life? Or does the answer lie somewhere in between? Avoid ending your essay with a tangential idea. Instead, a strong conclusion is often closely related to the main point of your essay, but with a slight twist. By planning out your essay before writing, you can make sure that each point (from start to finish) connects the way you want it to and that your conclusion ends on a strong, well-connected note.

Personal Statement Example #9: Speech and Debate

I was still high off the competition, poring over ballots by the soft streetlights as we drove. “Are you sure you want to do this?” My Dad was worried about me. Worried about my world crashing down around me, losing friends, being crushed by hate. Scarred by controversy. I laughed it off, and we rode in silence.

Fast forward to my second or third year in the league. I wanted to have some fun. I emailed the regional coordinator, asking if there’s a rule against a speech advocating for same-sex marriage.

This essay has lots of interesting ideas about having discussions between people of different viewpoints. This student is able to reflect sincerely about what the benefit of that dialogue is ("iron sharpening iron") and able to draw meaningful conclusions ("hope lives in that laughter") that express deeper ideas. By focusing on these compelling reflections, this student shows themself as a brilliant and thoughtful thinker, while demonstrating what they value: discourse between opposing viewpoints. Rather than focusing on the literal happenings (i.e. giving a speech to their club), the student reflects on what that experience represents more broadly, which allows them to connect to deeper ideas.

This essay is full of details, without being wordy or drawn out. Even small details like naming the show "The Daily Show" or giving a number of "40,000+ theologies" makes their writing much more engaging and compelling. By avoiding broad and vague language, this student paints a fascinating picture that allows the reader to enter their world. It is always better to be specific than to be generic, but make sure that the specific details are always relevant to your point. This essay is a great example of how to do both.

This essay does a fantastic job of creating a "voice." That is, you can easily imagine the student as if they were speaking to you while reading it. To craft this voice, this student uses small moments of more informal language and interjecting remarks that show their thought process. Using parentheses can be a good way to show your voice by jumping in when you have a small remark to add. This student also demonstrates a sense of humor and lightheartedness while still discussing meaningful ideas. The sarcastic remark "because controversy has no place in a debate club!" demonstrates their values (of dialogue between differing viewpoints) as well as showing their sense of personality.

This essay's weakest point is its intro or "hook." In fact, it could work much better by excluding the introduction paragraph and starting off with the second paragraph: "Forgive the melodrama: this is a story..." That short phrase is much more captivating and immediately draws the reader in. The introduction paragraph in this essay is too much of a meandering and vague story: you don't know what they're talking about, and ultimately it doesn't matter. Rather than using a fancy story or descriptions to introduce your essay, try jumping into the "meat" of your essay immediately. Consider using a short, declarative sentence or phrase like "Forgive the melodrama" as a hook, which is more impactful and draws the reader immediately into your essay.

Personal Statement Example #10: Finding Answers

Common App Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (250-650 words)

My grandmother’s concern faded rather quickly as sirens fell distant and time passed.

After about 30 minutes, my grandfather’s friend ran toward the beach. My grandfather was not next to him. He was not there at all. At that moment, my grandma knew.

“Burt...he was with me...he slipped...he fell...I ran down the side of the mountain, off the trail, but I couldn’t find him. The park rangers are looking...” She stopped listening. She could see his lips moving, yet she heard nothing.

This essay repeats a lot of the same ideas or information, just using different words. Rather than "getting to the point," this repetition makes the essay feel meandering and like it is going nowhere ultimately. When drafting your essay, it is okay to have repetition (your drafts shouldn't be perfect, after all). But when editing, ask yourself with each sentence: does this add something new? Is this necessary to my main point? If not, you should exclude those sentences.

This essay starts off with a drawn-out story of the tragedy involving the author's grandfather. Most of this story is unnecessary, because all that really matters for this student's main idea is the fact that their grandfather passed away from a tragic accident. Details about his grandmother or his grandfather's best friend are unnecessary and distracting.

An important "rule" in college essays is to only write from your perspective. That is, don't describe things that you couldn't have seen or experienced. In this essay, the author spends a lot of time describing their grandfather's incident as if they was there to witness it. But we later learn that the author was not even alive at this point, so how could they be describing these things? On a smaller level, don't describe yourself from an outside perspective. For example, instead of, "I grimaced when I heard the news" (how did you see yourself grimace?) you could say, "I felt my stomach pang when I heard the news."

Your ideas are most valuable in your essays. Admissions officers want to see how you think, and having interesting ideas that are unique to you is how you demonstrate that you're thoughtful and insightful. Avoid surface-level ideas at all costs, as it comes off cliché. It is okay to start with more generic ideas, but you should always delve deeper. To get at deeper and more unique ideas, the key is to ask yourself questions. For example: Why is this the case? Why don't things work differently? What does this mean for other people? What does this represent? How can I apply this to other areas of life?

Personal Statement Example #11: Connecting with Others

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

It's important to create a "voice" in your personal statement, so that admissions officers can imagine your character and personality. Try to write as you would speak, but refined and polished. In this essay, natural-sounding phrases like "...let me admit, I was awful..." humanizes the author and makes the reader feel like they're being spoken to.

This essay is a perfect example of how effective essays don't need to have a super unusual story to be compelling. What makes this essay's story compelling is not necessarily the topic itself (meeting distant relatives), but instead how the student reflects and makes interesting connections to broader ideas. Even seemingly mundane experiences can make for meaningful personal statements topics.

This conclusion works well by connecting to the main story of the essay. However, certain phrases like "As a global citizen" and "I am hoping to forge relationships" are potentially too generic. Instead, try taking your main idea (in this case forming connections with others) and broaden it or connect to more universal ideas.

Personal Statement Example #12: Summer Confidence

This essay has a heartfelt moment where the author connects deeply with a camper and feels a sense of genuine gratitude. By showing their newfound connection with a person they were mentoring, this creates a sense of humanity and also tells a lot about the author themself. By talking about other people in your life, you create a literary "foil" which in turn describes something about yourself. Showing how you interact with others can be telling into your character, such as showing your empathy, sense of humor, friendliness, or how you draw inspiration from others.

This essay does a good job of expressing vulnerability, specifically the author's fears about the future and "deteriorating friendships" after going to college. By being vulnerable, these moments feel more relatable to the reader. Showing your struggles (especially emotional ones) can also make your later "successes" feel more impactful when you show how you've overcame them or persist in face of those struggles. By recognizing your flaws or insecurities, you also show self-awareness, which is a positive trait because you need to be self-aware in order to improve the areas of yourself you want to fix.

Although this essay does reflect upon the lessons learned during their time at this camp, the takeaways are ultimately surface-level and not delved into. Rather than saying things like "I had more confidence," it would be more engaging to show how that confidence made an effect and what exactly that "confidence" meant. This essay touches upon some meaningful lessons, but ultimately they fall flat because the nuances of these lessons are glossed over. Phrases like "upon further consideration it no longer fills me with...apprehension" don't delve into the most interesting part: How and why did that fear go away? What changed about your perspective and why? Instead, these are explained away with "confidence and maturity," which are too broad of terms and feel meaningless because they are overused in essays.

In your personal statement, it is completely OK to reference people by their first name. Using names makes your essay more vivid and engaging, while showing a deeper connection that you have with others. Rather than saying "other people" or "one of the older campers," it would be more impactful to use their first name. There are some caveats, however. Don't use their name if you're showing them in a negative light (which you probably shouldn't do anyway) or if you're revealing something personal about them. If you are revealing something personal, you can substitute their name for another name, or ask them for their direct permission.

Personal Statement Example #13: First Impressions

It had a nice ring to it, but I wasn’t a fan. Unfortunately, that’s what I imagined everyone saw first, and first impressions stick.

A caveat of my surgery was that the hair would grow, then one-third would fall off. My scar will never be completely gone, but I no longer feel defined by it like I did in elementary school.

An effective hook doesn't need to be complicated. Often, the best hooks are simple, declarative sentences. By using a short sentence, you'll immediately draw the reader into your essay and create a point of emphasis. In general, avoid long and meandering sentences to start your essay, and save those for later in your essay. Clear and succinct phrasing is often the hallmark of a strong hook.

To convey your ideas more strongly, show them using concrete examples. In this essay, the author does a great job of that by not saying "classmates only saw me for my scar," but instead showing that idea through the memorable image of "I learned about my classmates through their lunchbox covers...they saw me as the boy with the scar." Using tangible imagery makes for a compelling way of expressing your ideas, as it allows the reader to come to the conclusions you want them to, without just "telling" them.

Avoid exaggerating or "fluffing up" experiences in your essays. Instead, be realistic and tell them for what they are. This essay does that perfectly by using phrases like "I didn't have a sudden epiphany about my scar." Avoid using phrases like "suddenly, I..." which are often overused and unrealistic. Most new understandings aren't acquired in one moment in particular, but are developed over time.

This essay touches on some compelling ideas, such as how people can distill down other people into their physical attributes or ailments. However, it would be even stronger to delve deeper into these reflections by asking further questions: Why do we gravitate towards "categorizing" people based on surface-level attributes? What is the impact of only be acknowledged for surface-level characteristics by others, but knowing that you have much more depth to your character? This essay has some meaningful ideas, but other ideas such as "I can be whatever I want to be" feel surface-level and somewhat generic.

Personal Statement Example #14: Law Career

One great way to have interesting ideas is to show things that you find fascinating that other people may find boring. This essay describes how a judge mandating "reprimands for speeding tickets might be dull for some," but how they find it interesting. Everything, even the seemingly mundane, has interesting aspects if you're willing to look closely enough. When brainstorming, ask yourself: what do I find fascinating that others find boring? What do I think is "fun" while others may think it is "hard" or boring? By following these threads, you can often find unique and compelling ideas that allow you to bring the reader into your world and show them how you see the world uniquely.

A common trap when writing a personal statement is to use a descriptive, fiction-like story to start your essay. Although this may sound like a good idea, it is often ineffective because it buries what is most interesting (your ideas and reflections) and can easily be long and drawn out. Short, concise stories with a focus can be effective introductions, but in general avoid overly descriptive storytelling to start your essay. Also, avoid describing things that aren't critical to your main point. There is little to no benefit in describing things like "I smoothed my skirt and rose slowly from the chair." Focus on why your stories matter, rather than telling stories in a descriptive manner.

This essay does have some reflections, particularly about how the author discovered their passion for law by joining the Youth Court. However, most of these ideas end there, and there aren't any deep, unique ideas. The closest the author comes to having a unique and compelling idea is the final sentence where they write "the value of prioritizing the common good above individual success." This could be a fascinating topic to explore, but ultimately is cut short because it is tagged onto the ending. Your focus when brainstorming and drafting should be to have specific and original ideas—ideas that are not generic, not cliché, and not surface-level. To get to those ideas, ask yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" over and over.

Personal Statement Example #15: My Asian Experience

Personal Statement Example #16: Secrets of Riddles

Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)

As I was going to St. Ives, Upon the road I met seven wives; Every wife had seven sacks, Every sack had seven cats: Cats, sacks, and wives, How many were going to St. Ives?

The riddles of life were not as straightforward as the puzzles in my books and websites. In fact, they were not straightforward at all, like winding mazes of philosophical quandary.

One of the most thought-provoking subjects that preoccupies my mind regards the existence of aliens. Initially, my mind was settled on the possibility of intelligent life. A universe so big could not possibly be lifeless.

As for the solution to the riddle at the start:

How many were going to St. Ives?

This essay does well by having a unique central topic—riddles—which allows the author to draw out interesting ideas related to this theme. Your topic doesn't necessarily need to be profound or hugely significant, because this author shows how you can take a seemingly unimportant topic and use it to make meaningful connections. In this essay, riddles grow to represent something greater than the activity itself, which is something you can do with almost any topic.

One of the most effective ways to "show, not tell" is to use specific and tangible examples. This essay does a great job of exemplifying their ideas. Rather than just saying "I enthralled my friends with questions," the author also shows this: "Over peanut butter and sliced ham, I assumed the role of story teller..." Examples are always more convincing because they are proof, and allow the reader to interpret for themselves. Don't tell the reader what you want them to think. Instead, set up moments that guide the reader to come to those conclusions themselves.

This conclusion connects back to the beginning, which is generally a good idea as it creates a cohesive structure. However, this ending doesn't quite make sense in the context of the riddle. Rather than creating new meaning, it comes off as arbitrary and contrived. Make sure your conclusion isn't creative just for creative-sake, and instead also has significant meaning attached to it.

Personal Statement Example #17: Rubik's Cube

Personal Statement Example #18: Narrative Diversity

If your cultural background or identity is an important part of who you are, then writing about it can make for a compelling essay. Often times in college admissions, Asian-Americans in particular are advised to "hide" their ethnic background, because it can be perceived to hurt their application. This student embraces their Asian heritage by recognizing ways in which they faced societal barriers. As this essay shows, regardless of your identity, there are unique aspects you can delve into that can make for compelling topics.

This essay does a great job of reflecting upon previously held beliefs, such as "I unconsciously succumbed to the 'reserve and quiet' Asian stereotype," and challenging them. Questioning your beliefs and where they came from can often be a good starting point for interesting reflection. Showing your new perspectives over time also conveys self-growth. Ask yourself: what did I once believe (in regards to myself, an activity, other people, etc.), what do I believe now, and how has this changed?

Rather than starting off with an activity and then reflecting upon it, this student takes a different approach. By introducing an interesting idea (the representation of underrepresented groups in media) and then later connecting to their activities, it makes the incorporation of those extracurriculars seem more appropriate and natural. The last thing you want to do is list your activities plainly, but it's still important to reference them. One strategy to naturally talk about your activities and accomplishments is to attach them to interesting ideas, as this essay shows.

Personal Statement Example #19: Search for Dreams

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

The diamond leaves of gnarled oak trees throw spectrums of color onto mounds of frosty snow that gleam melancholily under the moonlight. The leaves chime as wind violently rustles them in a haunting melody. I splinter a leaf off its branch and inspect the shard of my illusion, eyes dancing with amusement.

As I dwell in my worries, a cold hand reaches from behind me and taps my shoulder.

I jerk away, fear bubbling in my amygdala as I look into the nonexistent eyes of my intruding visitor.

The moon illuminates a blob of pink squish as it draws back slowly, points its spindly hands towards my drink and asks: “Could I have some of that?”

The blob wipes its invisible mouth with its nonexistent sleeve. I ask: “What are you?”

The blob tells me to stop looking at it so suspiciously. “I can prove it,” It says. I tell it, please, go ahead.

Suddenly we are back in the glowing forest. “Diamonds? Pah!” The blob dismisses them. Instantly, the leaves turn solid gold, the snow melts, and the wintry world is thrown into a blistering summer.

The blob laughs heartlessly. “Your cortex is under my control,” it says smugly.

“I heard you had a question for me?” It taps its invisible ears knowingly.

The blob wriggles its invisible brows as it waits.

It smiles that wicked smile. It laughs that sinful laugh. Then that insufferable blob wakes me up.

As I sit up in the dark and rub my bleary eyes, I am vaguely aware of the deep­set unfulfillment settling itself inside me. I yawn and plop back into bed, the soft red glow of my alarm clock indicating that it is still before midnight.

One thing is for sure about this essay: it has a unique idea that has surely not been written before. Regardless of your topic, you want your essay to be unique in some way, even if it isn't as fantastical as this essay. You can use a unique structure, such as having central symbolism, metaphor, or being structured as a recipe, for example. But this can easily become "gimmicky" if it doesn't have a clear purpose. In general, the most effective way to have a unique essay is to focus on having deep and unique ideas and reflections. By focusing on interesting takeaways and connections that are ultra-specific to you and your experiences, your essay will standout regardless of the structure.

This essay uses a lot of fiction-like writing that is fantastical and "flowery." Although moments of this kind of writing can make your essay more vivid, it is quite easy to end up with dense storytelling and descriptions that ultimately don't share anything interesting about you. The purpose of your essay is ultimately to learn about you: your values, your ideas, your identity, etc. By using dense story-like writing, it can be easy to lose focus of what admissions officers are looking for. In general, avoid writing "fancy" stories like this essay, unless you have a clear and distinct purpose for doing so. Everything in your essay should have a purpose in "going somewhere" (i.e. reaching interesting ideas and takeaways).

This essay is definitely creative, but lacks meaningful takeaways and ideas. By the end of the essay, we don't know much about the author besides the fact that they have an affinity for creative writing and are "on a search." Although the content is unique, the end result comes off as quite generic and surface-level because no interesting thoughts are explored deeply. The most interesting part of this essay is "I open my mouth and ask it my most crucial question," but this is super unsatisfying because the question is never divulged. Instead, the reader is teased by this fantasy story and the essay goes nowhere meaningful, which comes off as gimmicky and "creative for creative's sake," rather than deeply personal and interesting.

This essay ends on the idea of "continuing my search," but for what exactly? It is never explained, elaborated, or even implied (besides one reference to painting earlier). That makes this conclusion comes off as somewhat surface-level and uninteresting. Admissions officers won't care about "your search" unless they have a reason to care. That is, unless it tells something specific about you. On it's own, this idea of "exploring" and "searching" is meaningless because it is too broad and unelaborated.

Personal Statement Example #20: Recipe for Success

Step 1: Collect the ingredients

Step 2: Marinate the meat

Step 3: Wrap the dumplings

Step 4: Boil or pan-fry?

Step 5: Share and enjoy!

This essay has a clearly unique format in that it is structured as a dumpling recipe. By walking the reader through each step of dumpling-making, the student is able to explore various ideas and use the dumpling process as a metaphor for their own self-discovery. Having a creative structure like this can be beneficial, so long as you also have compelling ideas and the structure isn't unique just for the sake of being unique.

This whole essay is one big metaphor: the student compares their self-growth to the process of making dumplings. In doing so, the student introduces their heritage, while also having a creative literary device that they can use to explore various topics. By having a "central theme" such as this essay does, it makes it easier to explore a variety of ideas and activities, without seeming like you're listing them.

Struggles are one of the most defining aspects of self-development, and admissions officers are interested to see how you have overcome challenges. These difficulties don't need to be extreme tragedies or insurmountable obstacles, but everyone has faced difficulties. By reflecting upon those difficulties, you can draw out interesting ideas, showcase vulnerability, and express your personality.

What You Can Learn From These Personal Statement Examples

With these 20 Personal Statement examples, you can get inspired and improve your own essays. If you want to get accepted into selective colleges this year, your essays need to make you stand out.

These 20 examples show how real students got into highly selective schools and teach us several lessons for writing your own successful Personal Statement essay:

• Write a compelling first sentence that grabs the reader
• Be specific and reference things by name
• Tell a meaningful story
• Reflect on your life and identity. Be self-aware.

If you enjoyed these personal statement examples, check out some of our top Common App Essays , which are also personal statements essays, but for the Common Application.

Which of these personal statement examples was your favorite?

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

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Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

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By Nik Taylor (Editor, The Uni Guide) | 18 August 2023 | 22 min read

How to write an excellent personal statement in 10 steps

Stand out from the crowd: here's how to write a good personal statement that will get you noticed

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Your personal statement forms a core part of your university application, and the sooner you get going, the better you can make it. You may think that your personal statement won’t matter as much to unis as your grades and experience but a great personal statement could make all the difference between you and a candidate with the same grades. Sure, your application might not reach that deal breaker stage. But is it something you want to leave to chance?  Here we’ll take you through the process of planning, writing and checking a good personal statement, so you end up with something you can submit with confidence. And to make sure the advice we're giving you is sound, we’ve spoken to admissions staff at loads of UK universities to get their view. Look out for video interviews and advice on applying for specific subjects throughout this piece or watch our personal statement playlist on YouTube .

• Are you looking for personal statement examples? Check our library of hundreds of real personal statements, on The Student Room

Personal statement deadlines

You'll need to make sure you've got your personal statement written well in advance of your application deadline. Below are the main university application deadline dates for 2024 entry.

2024 entry deadlines

16 October 2023: Deadline for applications to Oxford and Cambridge universities, along with most medicine, dentistry, and veterinary courses.   31 January 2024: Deadline for applications to the majority of undergraduate courses. After this date, universities will start allocating places on these courses –   but you can still apply after the 31 January deadline , as this article explains . 30 June 2024:  Students who apply after this date will be entered into Clearing .

• Read more: Ucas deadlines and key application dates

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is a central part of your Ucas application, where you explain why you’ve chosen a particular course and why you’ll be good at it. It's your chance to stand out against other candidates and hopefully get that all-important offer. You only write one personal statement which is then read by each university you apply to, so if you are applying for more than one subject (or it's a combined course) it's crucial that you include common themes or reference the overall skills needed for all subjects. Personal statements are especially important if you’re trying to get on a very competitive course, where you need to do anything you can to stand out to admissions tutors. Courteney Sheppard, senior customer experience manager at Ucas, advises that your personal statement is "the only part of the application that you have direct control over. Do lots of research to demonstrate your passion, curiosity and drive to pursue your chosen subject." There’s a limit on how much you can write: your personal statement can be up to 4,000 characters (including spaces) or 47 lines of 95 characters (including spaces); whichever is shorter. This may appear generous (read: long) but once you've got going you may find yourself having to edit heavily.

• Read more: teacher secrets for writing a great personal statement

1. Plan what you want to cover

The first thing you need to do is make a plan. Writing a personal statement off the top of your head is difficult. Start by making some notes, answering the following questions:

• What do you want to study?
• Why do you want to study it?
• What is there about you that shows you’re suited to studying this subject at university? Think about your personality, as well as your experiences.
• What are your other interests and skills?

These few points are going to form the spine of your personal statement, so write them in a way that makes sense to you. You might want to make a simple bulleted list or you might want to get all arty and use a mindmap. Whatever you choose, your aim is the same. You want to get it clear in your own head why a university should offer you a place on its course. Getting those details down isn't always easy, and some people find it helpful to make notes over time. You might try carrying a notebook with you or set up a memo on your phone. Whenever you think of something useful for your personal statement, jot it down. Inspiration sometimes comes more easily when you’re thinking about something else entirely. It might help to take a look at The Student Room for some sample personal statements by university and sample personal statements by subjects , to give you an idea of the kind of thing you want to include. 

• Read more: personal statement FAQs

2. Show off your experience

Some things are worth adding to your personal statement, some things are not. Firmly in the second camp are your qualifications. You don’t need to mention these as there’s a whole other section of your personal statement where you get to detail them very precisely. Don’t waste a single character going on about how great your GCSE grades are – it’s not what the admissions tutor wants to read. What they do want to see is: what have you done? OK, so you’ve got some good grades, but so do a lot of other applicants. What have you done that’s different, that shows you off as someone who really loves the subject you’re applying for? Spend some time thinking about all the experience you have in that subject. If you’re lucky, this might be direct work experience. That’s going to be particularly appropriate if you’re applying for one of the more vocational subjects such as medicine or journalism . But uni staff realise getting plum work experience placements is easier for some people than others, so cast your net wider when you’re thinking about what you’ve done. How about after-school clubs? Debating societies? Are you running a blog or vlog? What key skills and experience have you picked up elsewhere (eg from hobbies) that could be tied in with your course choice? Remember, you’re looking for experience that shows why you want to study your chosen subject. You’re not just writing an essay about what you're doing in your A-level syllabus. Use this checklist as a guide for what to include:

• Your interest in the course. Why do you want to spend three years studying this subject at university?
• What have you done outside school or college that demonstrates this interest? Think about things like fairs/exhibitions, public lectures or voluntary work that is relevant to your subject.
• Relevant work experience (essential for the likes of medicine, not required for non-vocational courses such as English )
• Skills and qualities required for that career if appropriate (medicine, nursing and law as obvious examples)
• Interest in your current studies – what particular topics have made an impression on you?
• Any other interests/hobbies/experiences you wish to mention that are relevant either to the subject or 'going to uni'. Don't just list your hobbies, you need to be very selective and state clearly what difference doing these things has made to you.
• Plans for a gap year if you’re deferring entry.

Read more: 6 steps you need to take to apply to university

3. Be bold about your achievements

Don't be bashful about your achievements; that’s not going to help you get into uni. It's time to unleash your inner Muhammed Ali and get all “I am the greatest” with your writing. Do keep it focused and accurate. Do keep your language professional. But don’t hide your qualities beneath a layer of false modesty. Your personal statement is a sell – you are selling yourself as a brilliant student and you need to show the reader why that is true. This doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and if you’re finding it difficult to write about how great you are it’s time to enlist some help. Round up a friend or two, a family member, a teacher, whoever and get them to write down your qualities. Getting someone else’s view here can help you get some perspective. Don’t be shy. You are selling your skills, your experience and your enthusiasm – make sure they all leap off the screen with the way you have described them.

• Read more: the ten biggest mistakes when writing your personal statement  

4. How to start your personal statement

Type your personal statement in a cloud-based word processing program, such as Google Docs or Microsoft Word and don’t copy and paste it into Ucas Hub until it’s finished.  One of the benefits of doing it this way is that you can run spell check easily. (Please note, though, that Word adds "curly" quotation marks and other characters (like é or ü) that won't show up on your Ucas form, so do proofread it on Ucas Hub before submitting it to ensure it is how you typed it.)  Another big benefit is that you'll always have a backup of what you've written. If you're being super careful, you could always save your statement in another place as well. Bear in mind that extra spaces (eg adding spaces to the beginnings of paragraphs as indentation) are removed on Ucas. In your first sentence, cut to the chase. Why do you want to do the course? Don’t waste any time rambling on about the daydreams you had when you were five. Just be clear and concise – describe in one line why this course is so important to you. Then, in the rest of your intro, go into more detail in demonstrating your enthusiasm for the course and explaining how you decided this is what you want to do for the next three or more years. However you choose to start your statement, just avoid the following hoary old chestnuts. These have been some of the most used lines in personal statements over the years – they are beyond cliche, so don’t even think about it.

• From a young age I have (always) been [interested in/fascinated by]…
• For as long as I can remember, I have…
• I am applying for this course because… 
• I have always been interested in… 
• Throughout my life I have always enjoyed… 
• Reflecting on my educational experiences… 
• [Subject] is a very challenging and demanding [career/profession/course]… 
• Academically, I have always been… 
• I have always wanted to pursue a career in… 
• I have always been passionate about…   

5. Focus your writing on why you've chosen that subject

So you’ve got your intro done – time to nail the rest of it. Bear in mind that you’ve got to be a little bit careful when following a personal statement template. It’s easy to fall into the trap of copying someone else’s style, and in the process lose all of your own voice and personality from your writing. But there is a rough order that you can follow, which should help keep you in your flow. After your opening paragraph or two, get into any work experience (if you’ve got it). Talk about extracurriculars: anything you've done which is relevant to the subject can go here – hobbies, interests, volunteering. Touch on your career aspirations – where do you want this course to take you? Next, show your enthusiasm for your current studies. Cite some specific examples of current work that you enjoyed. Show off your relevant skills and qualities by explaining how you’ve used these in the past. Make sure you’re giving real-world examples here, not just vague assertions like “I’m really organised and motivated”. Try to use examples that are relevant.   Follow this up with something about you as a person. Talk about non-academic stuff that you like to do, but link it in some way with the course, or with how it shows your maturity for dealing with uni life. Round it all off by bringing your main points together, including a final emphasis of your commitment to studying this particular course.

• Read more: how to write your personal statement in an evening  

6. How long should a personal statement be?

You've got to work to a very specific limit when writing your personal statement. In theory you could use up to 4,000 characters – but you’re probably more likely to be limited by the line count. That's because it's a good idea to put line breaks in between your paragraphs (to make it more readable) and you only get a maximum of 47 lines. With this in mind, 3,500 characters is a more realistic limit. But when you’re getting started you should ignore these limits completely. At first, you just want to get down everything that you feel is important. You'll probably end up with something that is far too long, but that's fine. This is where you get to do some polishing and pruning. Keep the focus of your piece on the course you’re applying for, why you want to do it and why you’re perfectly suited to it. Look through what you’ve written so far – have you got the balance right? Chop out anything that goes on a bit, as you want each point to be snappy and succinct.

• Read more: universities reveal all about personal statements  

7. Keep it simple

8. Smart ways to end your personal statement

Writing a closing line that you’re happy with can feel as tricky as coming up with your opener. What you’re looking for here is a sign-off that is bold and memorable. The final couple of sentences in your statement give you the opportunity to emphasise all the good stuff you’ve already covered. Use this space to leave the reader in no doubt as to what an excellent addition you would be to their university. Pull together all your key points and – most importantly – address the central question that your personal statement should answer: why should you get a place on the course?

• Read more: universities explain how to end your personal statement with a bang  

9. Make sure your personal statement has no mistakes

Now you’ve got a personal statement you’re happy with, you need to make sure there are no mistakes. Check it, check it a second time, then check it again. Once you’ve done that, get someone else to check it, too. You will be doing yourself a massive disservice if you send through a personal statement with spelling and/or grammatical errors. You’ve got months to put this together so there really is no excuse for sending through something that looks like a rush job. Ask your teachers to look at it, and be prepared to accept their feedback without getting defensive. They will have seen many personal statements before; use what they tell you to make yours even better. You’ve also got another chance here to look through the content of your personal statement, so you can make sure the balance is right. Make sure your focus is very clearly on the subject you are applying for and why you want to study it. Don’t post your personal statement on the internet or social media where anyone can see it. You will get picked up by the Ucas plagiarism checker. Similarly, don't copy any that you find online. Instead, now is a good time to make your parents feel useful. Read your personal statement out to them and get them to give you feedback. Or try printing it out and mixing it up with a few others (you can find sample personal statements on The Student Room). Get them to read them all and then try to pick yours out. If they can't, perhaps there's not enough of your personality in there.  

10. Don't think about your personal statement for a whole week

If you followed the advice at the very start of this guide, you’ve started your personal statement early. Good job! There are months before you need to submit it. Use one of these weeks to forget about your personal statement completely. Get on with other things – anything you like. Just don’t go near your statement. Give it a whole week and then open up the document again and read through it with fresh eyes. You’ll gain a whole new perspective on what you’ve written and will be well placed to make more changes, if needed.

• Read more: how to write your personal statement when you have nothing interesting to say  

10 steps to your ideal personal statement

In summary, here are the ten steps you should follow to create the perfect personal statement.  

Personal statement dos and don'ts

• Remember that your personal statement is your personal statement, not an article written about your intended field of study. It should tell the reader about you, not about the subject.
• Only put in things that you’re prepared to talk about at the interviews.
• Give convincing reasons for why you want to study the course – more than just "enjoying the subject" (this should be a given).
• For very competitive courses, find out as much as you can about the nature of the course and try to make your personal statement relevant to this.
• Be reflective. If you make a point like 'I like reading', 'I travelled abroad', say what you got from it.
• Go through the whole thing checking your grammar and your spelling. Do this at least twice. It doesn’t matter if you’re not applying to an essay-based course – a personal statement riddled with spelling mistakes is just going to irritate the reader, which is the last thing you want to do. If this is something you find difficult then have someone look over it for you.
• Leave blank lines between your paragraphs. It’s easier for the reader to get through your personal statement when it’s broken into easily digestible chunks. Remember that they’re going to be reading a lot of these! Make yours easy to get through.
• Get someone else's opinion on your statement. Read it out to family or friends. Share it with your teacher. Look for feedback wherever you can find it, then act upon it.
• Don’t write it like a letter. Kicking off with a greeting such as "Dear Sir/Madam" not only looks weird, it also wastes precious space.
• Don’t make jokes. This is simply not the time – save them for your first night in the union.
• Don’t criticise your current school or college or try to blame teachers for any disappointing grades you might have got.
• Be afraid of details – if you want your PS to be personal to you that means explaining exactly which bits of work or topics or activities you've taken part in/enjoyed. It's much more compelling to read about one or two detailed examples than a paragraph that brushes over five or six.
• Just list what you're doing now. You should pull out the experiences that are relevant to the courses which you're applying to.
• Mention skills and activities without giving examples of when they have been demonstrated by you or what you learnt from them. Anyone can write "I have great leadership skills" in a PS, actually using a sentence to explain when you demonstrated good leadership skills is much rarer and more valuable.
• Refer to experiences that took place before your GCSEs (or equivalent).
• Give explanations about medical or mental health problems. These should be explained in your reference, not your PS.
• Apply for too many different courses, making it difficult to write a convincing personal statement which supports the application.
• Write a statement specific to just one institution, unless you're only applying to that one choice.
• Copy and paste the statement from somewhere else! This means do not plagiarise. All statements are automatically checked for plagiarism by Ucas. Those that are highlighted by the computer system are checked manually by Ucas staff. If you’re found to have plagiarised parts of your statement, the universities you apply to will be informed and it could jeopardise your applications.
• Use ChatGPT or another AI program to write your personal statement for you. Or, if you do, make sure you thoroughly edit and personalise the text so it's truly yours. Otherwise you're very much at risk of the plagiarism point above.

You may want to look at these...

How to write your university application.

Tips for writing your university application, including deadlines and personal statements

The Ucas personal statement is changing in 2025

A question-based personal statement will be required as part of university applications from autumn 2025 onwards

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PrepScholar GRE Prep

Gre prep online guides and tips, 3 successful graduate school personal statement examples.

Looking for grad school personal statement examples? Look no further! In this total guide to graduate school personal statement examples, we’ll discuss why you need a personal statement for grad school and what makes a good one. Then we’ll provide three graduate school personal statement samples from our grad school experts. After that, we’ll do a deep dive on one of our personal statement for graduate school examples. Finally, we’ll wrap up with a list of other grad school personal statements you can find online.

Why Do You Need a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is a chance for admissions committees to get to know you: your goals and passions, what you’ll bring to the program, and what you’re hoping to get out of the program.  You need to sell the admissions committee on what makes you a worthwhile applicant. The personal statement is a good chance to highlight significant things about you that don’t appear elsewhere on your application.

A personal statement is slightly different from a statement of purpose (also known as a letter of intent). A statement of purpose/letter of intent tends to be more tightly focused on your academic or professional credentials and your future research and/or professional interests.

While a personal statement also addresses your academic experiences and goals, you have more leeway to be a little more, well, personal. In a personal statement, it’s often appropriate to include information on significant life experiences or challenges that aren’t necessarily directly relevant to your field of interest.

Some programs ask for both a personal statement and a statement of purpose/letter of intent. In this case, the personal statement is likely to be much more tightly focused on your life experience and personality assets while the statement of purpose will focus in much more on your academic/research experiences and goals.

However, there’s not always a hard-and-fast demarcation between a personal statement and a statement of purpose. The two statement types should address a lot of the same themes, especially as relates to your future goals and the valuable assets you bring to the program. Some programs will ask for a personal statement but the prompt will be focused primarily on your research and professional experiences and interests. Some will ask for a statement of purpose but the prompt will be more focused on your general life experiences.

When in doubt, give the program what they are asking for in the prompt and don’t get too hung up on whether they call it a personal statement or statement of purpose. You can always call the admissions office to get more clarification on what they want you to address in your admissions essay.

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What Makes a Good Grad School Personal Statement?

A great graduate school personal statement can come in many forms and styles. However, strong grad school personal statement examples all share the same following elements:

A Clear Narrative

Above all, a good personal statement communicates clear messages about what makes you a strong applicant who is likely to have success in graduate school. So to that extent, think about a couple of key points that you want to communicate about yourself and then drill down on how you can best communicate those points. (Your key points should of course be related to what you can bring to the field and to the program specifically).

You can also decide whether to address things like setbacks or gaps in your application as part of your narrative. Have a low GPA for a couple semesters due to a health issue? Been out of a job for a while taking care of a family member? If you do decide to explain an issue like this, make sure that the overall arc is more about demonstrating positive qualities like resilience and diligence than about providing excuses.

Specific Examples

A great statement of purpose uses specific examples to illustrate its key messages. This can include anecdotes that demonstrate particular traits or even references to scholars and works that have influenced your academic trajectory to show that you are familiar and insightful about the relevant literature in your field.

Just saying “I love plants,” is pretty vague. Describing how you worked in a plant lab during undergrad and then went home and carefully cultivated your own greenhouse where you cross-bred new flower colors by hand is much more specific and vivid, which makes for better evidence.

A strong personal statement will describe why you are a good fit for the program, and why the program is a good fit for you. It’s important to identify specific things about the program that appeal to you, and how you’ll take advantage of those opportunities. It’s also a good idea to talk about specific professors you might be interested in working with. This shows that you are informed about and genuinely invested in the program.

Strong Writing

Even quantitative and science disciplines typically require some writing, so it’s important that your personal statement shows strong writing skills. Make sure that you are communicating clearly and that you don’t have any grammar and spelling errors. It’s helpful to get other people to read your statement and provide feedback. Plan on going through multiple drafts.

Another important thing here is to avoid cliches and gimmicks. Don’t deploy overused phrases and openings like “ever since I was a child.” Don’t structure your statement in a gimmicky way (i.e., writing a faux legal brief about yourself for a law school statement of purpose). The first will make your writing banal; the second is likely to make you stand out in a bad way.

Appropriate Boundaries

While you can be more personal in a personal statement than in a statement of purpose, it’s important to maintain appropriate boundaries in your writing. Don’t overshare anything too personal about relationships, bodily functions, or illegal activities. Similarly, don’t share anything that makes it seem like you may be out of control, unstable, or an otherwise risky investment. The personal statement is not a confessional booth. If you share inappropriately, you may seem like you have bad judgment, which is a huge red flag to admissions committees.

You should also be careful with how you deploy humor and jokes. Your statement doesn’t have to be totally joyless and serious, but bear in mind that the person reading the statement may not have the same sense of humor as you do. When in doubt, err towards the side of being as inoffensive as possible.

Just as being too intimate in your statement can hurt you, it’s also important not to be overly formal or staid. You should be professional, but conversational.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

Our graduate school experts have been kind enough to provide some successful grad school personal statement examples. We’ll provide three examples here, along with brief analysis of what makes each one successful.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 1

PDF of Sample Personal Statement 1 – Japanese Studies

For this Japanese Studies master’s degree, the applicant had to provide a statement of purpose outlining her academic goals and experience with Japanese and a separate personal statement describing her personal relationship with Japanese Studies and what led her to pursue a master’s degree.

Here’s what’s successful about this personal statement:

• An attention-grabbing beginning: The applicant begins with the statement that Japanese has never come easily to her and that it’s a brutal language to learn. Seeing as how this is an application for a Japanese Studies program, this is an intriguing beginning that makes the reader want to keep going.
• A compelling narrative: From this attention-grabbing beginning, the applicant builds a well-structured and dramatic narrative tracking her engagement with the Japanese language over time. The clear turning point is her experience studying abroad, leading to a resolution in which she has clarity about her plans. Seeing as how the applicant wants to be a translator of Japanese literature, the tight narrative structure here is a great way to show her writing skills.
• Specific examples that show important traits: The applicant clearly communicates both a deep passion for Japanese through examples of her continued engagement with Japanese and her determination and work ethic by highlighting the challenges she’s faced (and overcome) in her study of the language. This gives the impression that she is an engaged and dedicated student.

Overall, this is a very strong statement both in terms of style and content. It flows well, is memorable, and communicates that the applicant would make the most of the graduate school experience.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 2

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 2 – Musical Composition

This personal statement for a Music Composition master’s degree discusses the factors that motivate the applicant to pursue graduate study.

Here’s what works well in this statement:

• The applicant provides two clear reasons motivating the student to pursue graduate study: her experiences with music growing up, and her family’s musical history. She then supports those two reasons with examples and analysis.
• The description of her ancestors’ engagement with music is very compelling and memorable. The applicant paints her own involvement with music as almost inevitable based on her family’s long history with musical pursuits.
• The applicant gives thoughtful analysis of the advantages she has been afforded that have allowed her to study music so extensively. We get the sense that she is insightful and empathetic—qualities that would add greatly to any academic community.

This is a strong, serviceable personal statement. And in truth, given that this for a masters in music composition, other elements of the application (like work samples) are probably the most important.  However, here are two small changes I would make to improve it:

• I would probably to split the massive second paragraph into 2-3 separate paragraphs. I might use one paragraph to orient the reader to the family’s musical history, one paragraph to discuss Giacomo and Antonio, and one paragraph to discuss how the family has influenced the applicant. As it stands, it’s a little unwieldy and the second paragraph doesn’t have a super-clear focus even though it’s all loosely related to the applicant’s family history with music.
• I would also slightly shorten the anecdote about the applicant’s ancestors and expand more on how this family history has motivated the applicant’s interest in music. In what specific ways has her ancestors’ perseverance inspired her? Did she think about them during hard practice sessions? Is she interested in composing music in a style they might have played? More specific examples here would lend greater depth and clarity to the statement.

Sample Personal Statement for Graduate School 3

PDF of Sample Graduate School Personal Statement 3 – Public Health

This is my successful personal statement for Columbia’s Master’s program in Public Health. We’ll do a deep dive on this statement paragraph-by-paragraph in the next section, but I’ll highlight a couple of things that work in this statement here:

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• This statement is clearly organized. Almost every paragraph has a distinct focus and message, and when I move on to a new idea, I move on to a new paragraph with a logical transitions.
• This statement covers a lot of ground in a pretty short space. I discuss my family history, my goals, my educational background, and my professional background. But because the paragraphs are organized and I use specific examples, it doesn’t feel too vague or scattered.
• In addition to including information about my personal motivations, like my family, I also include some analysis about tailoring health interventions with my example of the Zande. This is a good way to show off what kinds of insights I might bring to the program based on my academic background.

Grad School Personal Statement Example: Deep Dive

Now let’s do a deep dive, paragraph-by-paragraph, on one of these sample graduate school personal statements. We’ll use my personal statement that I used when I applied to Columbia’s public health program.

Paragraph One: For twenty-three years, my grandmother (a Veterinarian and an Epidemiologist) ran the Communicable Disease Department of a mid-sized urban public health department. The stories of Grandma Betty doggedly tracking down the named sexual partners of the infected are part of our family lore. Grandma Betty would persuade people to be tested for sexually transmitted diseases, encourage safer sexual practices, document the spread of infection and strive to contain and prevent it. Indeed, due to the large gay population in the city where she worked, Grandma Betty was at the forefront of the AIDS crises, and her analysis contributed greatly towards understanding how the disease was contracted and spread. My grandmother has always been a huge inspiration to me, and the reason why a career in public health was always on my radar.

This is an attention-grabbing opening anecdote that avoids most of the usual cliches about childhood dreams and proclivities. This story also subtly shows that I have a sense of public health history, given the significance of the AIDs crisis for public health as a field.

It’s good that I connect this family history to my own interests. However, if I were to revise this paragraph again, I might cut down on some of the detail because when it comes down to it, this story isn’t really about me. It’s important that even (sparingly used) anecdotes about other people ultimately reveal something about you in a personal statement.

Paragraph Two: Recent years have cemented that interest. In January 2012, my parents adopted my little brother Fred from China. Doctors in America subsequently diagnosed Fred with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy (DMD). My parents were told that if Fred’s condition had been discovered in China, the (very poor) orphanage in which he spent the first 8+ years of his life would have recognized his DMD as a death sentence and denied him sustenance to hasten his demise.

Here’s another compelling anecdote to help explain my interest in public health. This is an appropriately personal detail for a personal statement—it’s a serious thing about my immediate family, but it doesn’t disclose anything that the admissions committee might find concerning or inappropriate.

If I were to take another pass through this paragraph, the main thing I would change is the last phrase. “Denied him sustenance to hasten his demise” is a little flowery. “Denied him food to hasten his death” is actually more powerful because it’s clearer and more direct.

Paragraph Three: It is not right that some people have access to the best doctors and treatment while others have no medical care. I want to pursue an MPH in Sociomedical Sciences at Columbia because studying social factors in health, with a particular focus on socio-health inequities, will prepare me to address these inequities. The interdisciplinary approach of the program appeals to me greatly as I believe interdisciplinary approaches are the most effective way to develop meaningful solutions to complex problems.

In this paragraph I make a neat and clear transition from discussing what sparked my interest in public health and health equity to what I am interested in about Columbia specifically: the interdisciplinary focus of the program, and how that focus will prepare me to solve complex health problems. This paragraph also serves as a good pivot point to start discussing my academic and professional background.

Paragraph Four: My undergraduate education has prepared me well for my chosen career. Understanding the underlying structure of a group’s culture is essential to successfully communicating with the group. In studying folklore and mythology, I’ve learned how to parse the unspoken structures of folk groups, and how those structures can be used to build bridges of understanding. For example, in a culture where most illnesses are believed to be caused by witchcraft, as is the case for the Zande people of central Africa, any successful health intervention or education program would of necessity take into account their very real belief in witchcraft.

In this paragraph, I link my undergraduate education and the skills I learned there to public health. The (very brief) analysis of tailoring health interventions to the Zande is a good way to show insight and show off the competencies I would bring to the program.

Paragraph Five: I now work in the healthcare industry for one of the largest providers of health benefits in the world. In addition to reigniting my passion for data and quantitative analytics, working for this company has immersed me in the business side of healthcare, a critical component of public health.

This brief paragraph highlights my relevant work experience in the healthcare industry. It also allows me to mention my work with data and quantitative analytics, which isn’t necessarily obvious from my academic background, which was primarily based in the social sciences.

Paragraph Six: I intend to pursue a PhD in order to become an expert in how social factors affect health, particularly as related to gender and sexuality. I intend to pursue a certificate in Sexuality, Sexual Health, and Reproduction. Working together with other experts to create effective interventions across cultures and societies, I want to help transform health landscapes both in America and abroad.

This final paragraph is about my future plans and intentions. Unfortunately, it’s a little disjointed, primarily because I discuss goals of pursuing a PhD before I talk about what certificate I want to pursue within the MPH program! Switching those two sentences and discussing my certificate goals within the MPH and then mentioning my PhD plans would make a lot more sense.

I also start two sentences in a row with “I intend,” which is repetitive.

The final sentence is a little bit generic; I might tailor it to specifically discuss a gender and sexual health issue, since that is the primary area of interest I’ve identified.

This was a successful personal statement; I got into (and attended!) the program. It has strong examples, clear organization, and outlines what interests me about the program (its interdisciplinary focus) and what competencies I would bring (a background in cultural analysis and experience with the business side of healthcare). However, a few slight tweaks would elevate this statement to the next level.

Graduate School Personal Statement Examples You Can Find Online

So you need more samples for your personal statement for graduate school? Examples are everywhere on the internet, but they aren’t all of equal quality.

Most of examples are posted as part of writing guides published online by educational institutions. We’ve rounded up some of the best ones here if you are looking for more personal statement examples for graduate school.

Penn State Personal Statement Examples for Graduate School

This selection of ten short personal statements for graduate school and fellowship programs offers an interesting mix of approaches. Some focus more on personal adversity while others focus more closely on professional work within the field.

The writing in some of these statements is a little dry, and most deploy at least a few cliches. However, these are generally strong, serviceable statements that communicate clearly why the student is interested in the field, their skills and competencies, and what about the specific program appeals to them.

Cal State Sample Graduate School Personal Statements

These are good examples of personal statements for graduate school where students deploy lots of very vivid imagery and illustrative anecdotes of life experiences. There are also helpful comments about what works in each of these essays.

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However, all of these statements are definitely pushing the boundaries of acceptable length, as all are above 1000 and one is almost 1500 words! Many programs limit you to 500 words; if you don’t have a limit, you should try to keep it to two single-spaced pages at most (which is about 1000 words).

University of Chicago Personal Statement for Graduate School Examples

These examples of successful essays to the University of Chicago law school cover a wide range of life experiences and topics. The writing in all is very vivid, and all communicate clear messages about the students’ strengths and competencies.

Note, however, that these are all essays that specifically worked for University of Chicago law school. That does not mean that they would work everywhere. In fact, one major thing to note is that many of these responses, while well-written and vivid, barely address the students’ interest in law school at all! This is something that might not work well for most graduate programs.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 10

This successful essay for law school from a Wheaton College undergraduate does a great job tracking the student’s interest in the law in a compelling and personal way. Wheaton offers other graduate school personal statement examples, but this one offers the most persuasive case for the students’ competencies. The student accomplishes this by using clear, well-elaborated examples, showing strong and vivid writing, and highlighting positive qualities like an interest in justice and empathy without seeming grandiose or out of touch.

Wheaton College Personal Statement for Graduate School Sample 1

Based on the background information provided at the bottom of the essay, this essay was apparently successful for this applicant. However, I’ve actually included this essay because it demonstrates an extremely risky approach. While this personal statement is strikingly written and the story is very memorable, it could definitely communicate the wrong message to some admissions committees. The student’s decision not to report the drill sergeant may read incredibly poorly to some admissions committees. They may wonder if the student’s failure to report the sergeant’s violence will ultimately expose more soldiers-in-training to the same kinds of abuses. This incident perhaps reads especially poorly in light of the fact that the military has such a notable problem with violence against women being covered up and otherwise mishandled

It’s actually hard to get a complete picture of the student’s true motivations from this essay, and what we have might raise real questions about the student’s character to some admissions committees. This student took a risk and it paid off, but it could have just as easily backfired spectacularly.

Key Takeaways: Graduate School Personal Statement Examples

In this guide, we discussed why you need a personal statement and how it differs from a statement of purpose. (It’s more personal!)

We also discussed what you’ll find in a strong sample personal statement for graduate school:

• A clear narrative about the applicant and why they are qualified for graduate study.
• Specific examples to support that narrative.
• Compelling reasons why the applicant and the program are a good fit for each other.
• Strong writing, including clear organization and error-free, cliche-free language.
• Appropriate boundaries—sharing without over-sharing.

Then, we provided three strong graduate school personal statement examples for different fields, along with analysis. We did a deep-dive on the third statement.

Finally, we provided a list of other sample grad school personal statements online.

What’s Next?

Want more advice on writing a personal statement ? See our guide.

Writing a graduate school statement of purpose? See our statement of purpose samples  and a nine-step process for writing the best statement of purpose possible .

If you’re writing a graduate school CV or resume, see our how-to guide to writing a CV , a how-to guide to writing a resume , our list of sample resumes and CVs , resume and CV templates , and a special guide for writing resume objectives .

Need stellar graduate school recommendation letters ? See our guide.

See our 29 tips for successfully applying to graduate school .

Ready to improve your GRE score by 7 points?

Author: Ellen McCammon

Ellen is a public health graduate student and education expert. She has extensive experience mentoring students of all ages to reach their goals and in-depth knowledge on a variety of health topics. View all posts by Ellen McCammon

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Personal Statements: Examples, Do's and Don'ts

As the name suggests, a personal statement is unique to everyone, but that does not mean there are not specific personal statement rules and guidelines to follow. Being able to quickly showcase your skills, personality and job fit can be challenging, so we are here to shed some light on structuring a personal statement that’ll make you stand out from the crowd. 

In this guide, we will be looking at how to write a personal statement and the do’s and don’ts. By the end, you should have a better idea of how to structure a personal statement and impress your potential new employers.

💡 Note: We will be covering professional personal statements and not personal statements for University admissions in this article.

What is a personal statement?

Often confused with a cover letter or supporting statement, a personal statement is a small section on various forms of CVs. A personal statement is often no more than a few sentences where you can quickly summarise your skills, experience and job fit into a bitesize paragraph. 

A personal statement gives you the opportunity to briefly sell yourself to your potential employer and showcase why you are the best candidate for the role. It is important to note that not all employers will require a personal statement, but if done correctly they can help set you apart from other applicants. 

What makes a good personal statement? 

As a personal statement is essentially a summary of the rest of your CV and you as a person, you want to ensure you list all the most important things from your CV that are the most relevant to the job you are applying for. You should never use the same personal statement, when applying for multiple jobs you can use a similar statement for each, but it should be tailored to each individual role if possible. 

How to start a personal statement 

Start your personal statement by introducing yourself and set the tone for the rest of your personal statement.

You want to capture the employer’s interest and summarise exactly why you are a perfect fit for the role. Most personal statement examples start with saying the role you are currently in, how much industry experience you have and key achievements or relevant skills and statistics. 

How to finish a personal statement 

A good way to finish your personal statement is to summarise your overall goal or aim when moving forwards towards this job and your career.  This means you have spoken about the past, present and future, in just a few lines and gives the employer a good idea of you and your potential. 

How to finish a personal statement can vary from role to role, but this is a good rule of thumb and will stand you in good stead, as with any application, tailor it to the job, some may call for this, some may not.

Personal statement do’s

• Tailor your personal statement - utilise the job description to help you highlight exactly what the employer is looking for, highlight the skills and experience it calls for. The job description is the blueprint to your personal statement for that role, so try and signpost your abilities from the exact things the employer is looking for.
• Be concise - ensure that you keep your personal statement short and relevant, aim for the maximum of a few lines or around 200 words at most. Find the most important and relevant things that you can say within that word count.
• Highlight you - candidates have a habit of being too generic and not showcasing themselves, it is called a personal statement, so keep it personal to you. Personal does not mean talking about your dog though, but how you personally can succeed at this job.
• Include tangibles - always try to give additional details that add value to your application, for instance, quantifying something always makes it sound better. ‘Increased sales by 35%’ sounds better than just saying ‘increased sales’.
• Hit key points - a good personal statement will be able to give the employer a quick summary of you and entice them to read more or move you forward to the interview stage.
• Get a second opinion - having someone else read over your personal statement can be a real help, they may spot something you haven’t or not understand something the way you had intended. This will help improve your finished personal statement.  

Personal statement don’ts

• Use the same wording - you can actually hurt your own chances if you use an overly generic personal statement. You want to show that you have put effort into your application and impress the employer.
• Make it too long - candidates will often confuse their personal statement with a cover letter, this is a short rundown of you, focus on skills, successes, and statistics, things that can be quickly digested. Grab their attention with your personal statement, but do not bore them with an essay.
• Go too personal - this may sound strange, but remember you are writing a professional application, and not setting up a dating profile. Focus on what you can bring to the company, and how your skills would be perfect for the role.
• Send off your first draft - always read over your personal statement a few times to make sure it flows right and rolls off the tongue. Having a spelling or grammar mistake can ruin your chances of getting the job.
• Be too broad - showing that you understood the job description and are a good candidate for the role can be evident if you have a good personal statement, but being too broad will make you look like you copy and pasted the same response to 20 applications.

What next? 

Now you have a better understanding on how to structure your personal statement to increase your chances of getting your new role, you want to start your job search . Currently at Michael Page, we have over 10,000 live jobs on the site so submit your CV today to become discoverable for new roles added in your industry. 

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Personal Statement (With Examples)

A personal statement can make or break your application. It’s the first section of your  Curriculum Vitæ  as a result of its strategic position, it is a determining factor in the recruitment exercises. 

So, what is a personal statement and why should you put in the effort to write it? 

A personal statement is a short, personal summary you write to testify to your characteristics and sell yourself as the best fit for a position. The better crafted your personal statement is, the higher your chances of getting the job. 

In a personal statement, you would typically summarise your skills and experience, whilst also making sure that it’s relevant to the position you’re applying for.

Personal statements aren’t only required for employment purposes, but university applications are also accompanied by a personal statement. Unlike the one for employment, though, it will be much more detailed.

Why is a personal statement important?

The importance of a personal statement cannot be stressed enough. It is the first impression the hiring manager has of you. Since you most likely wouldn’t be present during the CV review/shortlisting, they’ll go by what you have put down to have an idea of your person. 

Since it’s the first thing they’ll see when they access your CV (it’s on top), so it really can make or break your application.

Brevity is essential to a flawless personal statement. So, you need to summarize the specific skills and experience that would make you perfect for the position you are applying for. 

In the same great personal statement that can impress the recruiter, a terrible or poorly written one can also make them toss your application into the bin.

What should be its length?

As pointed out earlier, a personal statement should be short and straight-to-the-point. Avoid being too descriptive as wordiness would bulk up your CV and take up unnecessary space. Your personal statement shouldn’t cover than four-five lines of your CV.

However, if your personal statement is for a university admission application, you have the freedom to more detailed in your statement.

How do you Write a Personal Statement?

A personal statement should tell whoever reads through it three main things about you in a clear and concise manner. They are:

Who are you?

What do you bring to the table?

What are your goals?

This is pretty self explanatory, but is somehow problematic for applicants. No, this is not the time to give a autobiographical account of your life. Just provide the details about who you are that are relevant to your application.

For example, ‘ A project manager with over 7 years experience’ answers the question succinctly. Anything beyond this is a load of crap.  

Let’s face it, employers need you to add value to their organization. Which is why they initiated the recruitment process in the first place – to hire the person with the most value to add to their company. So, tailor your answer to the application and avoid storytelling.

Make it clear that you’re the right person for the job by directly including the requirements in your personal statement.

If it’s a marketing job, your marketing skills should be highlighted briefly in your statement.

Every employer loves a career oriented person. And nothing says you are focused on self-development more than highlighting it in your personal statement.

Your personal statement should be tailored to each application. This may appear stressful but it increases your chances greatly, as opposed to having a generic CV.

While it will be more pleasing to the eyes to omit pronouns totally in your personal statement, it isn’t a factor for disqualification you include it in. Just make sure you minimize its use and are consistent with the tense you utilize.

A typical personal statement should include the following:

Personal Qualities

• Self-motivated
• Management skills
• Communication skills
• Problem-solving skills
• Analytical skills
• 7 years experience in …
• Excellent track record of …
• Extensive background in …
• Grasp of/knowledge of …

Personal Statement Example 

As earlier pointed out, personal statements can be academic or CV related. Here, examples of each type would be given.

Personal statement for your CV as a recent graduate 

A recent graduate of Computer Science looking to secure a Graduate Data Analyst job to further develop my analytical skills, knowledge and to build up these abilities in a useful and reputable organization. My career goal is to contribute my data analysis, data modelling, data cleansing, and data enrichment a leading field and effectively add to the success of the organization.

Personal statement example for university student

I am a hardworking and  versatile individual with a great passion for  content writing and digital marketing. I am currently  a third year student of English Language at the University of Newton. I have excellent communication skills, enabling me to effectively communicate with a wide range of people. I am seeing a part-time position in the industry in which I can put into practice my knowledge and experience, ultimately benefiting the operations of the organisation that I work for.

Personal statement example for an experienced professional 

Project manager with over ten years experience in the advertising industry. In my previous role I was responsible for managing the finance and sustainability strategy of a number of large scale projects and liaising directly with clients. I am looking to take on new challenges including managing multiple projects simultaneously and leading a bigger team. I am  confident that  my knowledge, experience and  skills would  make me an asset to your team.

Be mindful of including unnecessary details that would take up valuable space. This includes an overload of adjectives, skills and experiences. Remember that the cover letter as/or body of  the CV is meant for your to expatiate on these.

A general advice is to, highlight your best bits in your personal statement and keep elaborate details for your cover letter.

Read also:  CV templates for all fields . 

Staff Writer

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Tips for writing your sixth form college application personal statement

Colleges want you to write about yourself in your application – but what should you say?

Most sixth-form and college application forms include a section where you write something about yourself – it’s just so the college can get to know you before you start.

So what should you include? Here are some simple suggestions to help you write a solid personal statement, as well as a few examples for inspiration.

• Read more on The Uni Guide: six things you need to know before making your final A-level choices

Show them you've done some research

First of all, explain why you want to attend their sixth-form or college.

You could talk about the research you've done on their facilities and courses – maybe they have a great reputation for something you'd like to study?

If you've been to one of their open days (which is always a good idea) you can talk about the experience you had there and the impression it gave you.

• Read more on The Uni Guide:  A-levels and AS-levels, explained

Think about life after college

Most college application forms will ask something about your plans for the future, like if you're thinking of going to university or chasing a particular career. 

You don't need to have everything planned out though – all you need at this point is a sense of the subjects you'd like to continue studying.

It's great if you do have an idea of what you'd like to do in the future. It's never too early to research your next steps – and we've got forums and advice on The Student Room that can help. Take a look at these links:

• Careers help
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• Applying to uni  
• Read more:  what can you do after A-levels?

Make sure you provide the requested information

This might sound simple, but read the wording of the application form very carefully. Pay close attention to what they're asking you to write about – and make sure you include it in your statement.

You could pull out important phrases from the form and use it to structure your statement. This can also make writing your statement feel easier as you're just following their guidance.

Read more on The Uni Guide: what A-level subjects do you need for the degree you want to study?

Don't feel like you have to include loads of detail

You might be scratching your head wondering what you're supposed to be writing about. Don't worry, no-one's expecting you to have travelled the world or done loads of voluntary work at your age.

There's nothing wrong with a short and sweet personal statement – but it's worth mentioning if you take part in any organisations or sports outside of school.

Double-check for any spelling mistakes

While any minor spelling or grammatical errors will probably be forgiven, making sure your statement's in good shape will show the college you've put a lot of effort in.

Mistakes are easily made, so re-read your statement a few times before you submit it. And if you aren't feeling confident about your editing skills, you can always get someone else to check it for you.

Examples of sixth-form personal statements

Application forms can vary, but it's still useful to look at the type of personal statements that get submitted to colleges – they can be a good source of inspiration.

Here are three general examples of sixth-form personal statements that could give you some ideas about what to write about in yours:

• Example personal statement 1
• Example personal statement 2
• Example personal statement 3

If you've got a question about your personal statement, head over to our  secondary school, sixth form and FE college forum to chat with other students – or you could visit our A-level and GCSE forums.

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Nursing Bay

College personal statement examples and writing tips.

A crucial step in your nursing journey is learning how to write a personal statement that resonates with admissions committees and vividly portrays your passion for healthcare. This collection of amazing personal statement examples is curated to guide and inspire you as you articulate your aspirations, experiences, and motivation to pursue nursing.

What is a Personal Statement?

A personal statement is a written narrative that typically forms a significant part of an application to universities, colleges, or professional programs, particularly in fields like nursing. It’s an opportunity for junior year applicants to present themselves beyond test scores and grades, offering insights into their personalities, experiences, goals, and motivations.

In a personal statement, applicants explain why they are interested in a specific field of study or profession, what they hope to achieve through the program, and how their background and experiences have prepared them for this path. It’s a chance to highlight unique attributes, significant life experiences, challenges overcome, or special achievements that make them an ideal candidate for the program.

Why Read Personal Statement Examples?

Reading personal statement essay examples is immensely beneficial for several reasons, especially when preparing your own statement for applications to nursing programs:

• Inspiration and Ideas: Examples can inspire you and provide ideas on structuring your statement, what kind of content to include in your application essay, and how to convey your story and passion effectively.
• Understanding Expectations: They offer insight into what admissions committees look for, helping you understand the level of detail, tone, and approach that resonates successfully in such applications.
• Learning from Others: Seeing how others have articulated their experiences, challenges, and aspirations can guide you in reflecting upon and articulating your own journey and motivations.
• Avoiding Common Mistakes: By examining a range of examples, you can identify common pitfalls and clichés to avoid, ensuring your statement stands out and feels genuine.
• Gaining Confidence: Reading successful common app essays can boost your confidence, showing you that crafting a compelling narrative that combines personal experiences with professional aspirations is possible.
• Diverse Perspectives: Examples offer a glimpse into the diversity of paths and motivations that lead people to nursing, potentially broadening your perspective and enriching your own approach to writing your statement.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

The length of your personal statement should ideally align with the guidelines provided by the institution or program you are applying to. Personal statements are expected to be concise yet comprehensive, often ranging around 500 to 650 words , translating to about one to two pages. 

This word count allows enough space to clearly articulate your experiences, motivations, and aspirations without overloading the reader with information. It’s important to always adhere to the program’s specific word or character limits to demonstrate your ability to follow instructions and present your thoughts.

What Should a Personal Statement Include?

A well-written college admissions essay should include several key elements to effectively communicate your suitability for the program or position you are applying for. Here’s what to typically include:

Introduction

Your personal statement should begin with an engaging introductory paragraph that captures the essence of your motivation for pursuing your chosen field. This could be a brief narrative of a defining moment, an experience that ignited your passion, or a clear articulation of your interest and enthusiasm.

The introduction sets the tone and should intrigue the reader, providing a glimpse into your unique journey and motivation. It’s important that this section hooks the reader’s attention and provides a compelling reason to continue reading your statement.

Academic and Professional Background

In this section, brainstorm and detail your relevant academic and professional experiences that have prepared you for this next step. Highlight key academic achievements, coursework, research, or projects that align with the field you are pursuing.

Also, include any relevant work experience, internships, or positions that have given you practical skills and insights. This part of the statement is crucial for showcasing your foundational knowledge and preparedness for advanced study or professional development and gaining a scholarship in your chosen area.

Extracurricular Activities and Volunteering

Your involvement in extracurricular activities and volunteering can significantly enrich your personal statement. This section should reflect how these activities have contributed to your personal growth, skills development, or understanding of your field.

Whether it’s a hobby, leadership roles in clubs, participation in sports teams, or volunteer work in community organizations, these experiences demonstrate your broader interests, commitment, and ability to balance multiple responsibilities. It’s an opportunity to show aspects of your character and values that academic achievements alone might not convey.

Personal Qualities and Skills

Reflect on and draft the personal qualities and skills that make you suited for your chosen path. This might include traits like resilience, empathy, critical thinking, or effective communication. Use specific examples or experiences to demonstrate how you have developed and applied these traits.

This personal reflection not only provides depth to your statement but also gives the admissions committee a clearer picture of who you are as an individual, beyond academic and professional achievements.

Career Goals and Aspirations

Discuss your career aspirations and how the program or position you are applying for aligns with these goals. This section should convey a clear vision of where you see yourself in the future and how the specific program or role will be a stepping stone toward that vision.

It’s important to show that you have a direction and purpose and that you see this opportunity as integral to your career journey. This not only demonstrates foresight and planning but also shows your commitment and seriousness about the path you are choosing.

Reasons for Choosing the Specific Program or Institution

Clearly articulate why you are applying to this particular program or institution. Discuss what specific aspects of the program, faculty, institution’s philosophy, or opportunities available are particularly attractive to you and why they resonate with your goals and preferences.

This shows that you have done your research and are making a well-informed decision. It also indicates that you have a genuine interest in what the program or institution uniquely offers, rather than a generic application.

Conclude your statement with a strong, memorable closing that encapsulates your main points and reaffirms your enthusiasm and suitability for the program or career. This is your final opportunity to leave a lasting impression, summarizing why you believe you are an ideal candidate.

The conclusion should tie back to your opening, creating a cohesive narrative that leaves the reader with a clear understanding of your passion, commitment, and readiness for the next step in your academic or professional journey.

What Does an Admissions Officer Look for in a Personal Statement?

When reviewing a personal statement, admission officers are looking for several key elements to assess the suitability of a candidate for their program:

• Clarity of Purpose: Admissions officers want to see a clear understanding of why the applicant wants to pursue a particular field or program. The statement should convincingly articulate the candidate’s passion, motivation, and how the program aligns with their career goals.
• Personal Insight and Self-Reflection: A strong personal essay offers insight into the applicant’s personality, experiences, and the factors that have shaped their decision to pursue a specific path. Admissions officers look for depth of reflection and a sense of how past experiences have driven the candidate’s current ambitions.
• Relevant Experience and Skills: It’s important for the statement to highlight any relevant academic, professional, or volunteer experiences that demonstrate preparedness for the program. Admissions officers are interested in how these experiences have contributed to the development of skills and knowledge pertinent to the field.
• Writing Quality and Structure: The ability to communicate effectively and coherently through writing is crucial. Admissions officers pay attention to the overall quality of writing, including grammar, clarity, coherence, and the ability to organize thoughts logically.
• Individuality and Authenticity: They seek to understand what makes each applicant unique. A personal statement should reflect the individual’s authentic self, showcasing unique perspectives, diverse experiences, and personal growth.
• Commitment and Passion: Demonstrating genuine enthusiasm and a strong commitment to the field is essential. Admissions officers look for candidates who are likely to thrive in the program and contribute positively to their field.
• Alignment with Program Values and Goals: Candidates who show that their personal and professional values align with those of the program or institution often stand out. Admissions officers look for indications that the candidate has researched the program and understands how it fits into their broader aspirations.
• Future Potential: Finally, they are interested in the applicant’s potential for future success and contribution to the field. A compelling statement should give a sense of the candidate’s ambition to go to college and how they intend to utilize the education and opportunities provided by the program to achieve their long-term goals.

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Here are some nursing statement examples that illustrate effective writing styles, clear articulation of goals, and the ability to connect personal experiences to broader career or academic aspirations:

Personal Statement Example #1 

Personal statement example #2, college essay example #3, personal statement example #4, application essay example #5, personal statement example #6, personal statement example #7, personal statement example #8, personal statement example #9, personal statement example #10, personal statement example #11, personal statement example #12, personal statement example #13, personal statement example #14, personal statement example #15, child nursing personal statement examples, community nurse personal statement examples, key takeaways for writing a great personal statement.

When reflecting on the nursing personal statement examples provided, several key takeaways emerge that are crucial for anyone crafting their statement. These insights are vital for effectively conveying your passion, commitment, and suitability for a career in nursing:

• Clearly articulate your personal motivation for choosing nursing.
• Highlight your relevant healthcare experiences and achievements.
• Specify your interest in any particular nursing specialty.
• Showcase qualities and skills that make you suitable for nursing.
• Outline your long-term professional aspirations in nursing.
• Acknowledge the challenges and rewards in the nursing profession.
• Express dedication to ongoing learning and professional development.
• Ensure clarity, structure, and coherence in your statement.
• Customize your statement for each specific nursing program.
• Maintain authenticity and genuineness throughout your statement.

Final Thoughts: Personal Statement Essay Examples

These nursing personal statement examples and key takeaways provide valuable insights for anyone aspiring to enter the nursing freshman year. They demonstrate the importance of a well-crafted statement that blends personal motivation, relevant experiences, and a clear understanding of the nursing profession’s demands and rewards. 

An effective personal statement is not only a reflection of your qualifications and aspirations but also a testament to your passion, empathy, and commitment to the field of nursing. It’s a unique opportunity to showcase your individuality and suitability for a career that is as challenging as it is rewarding. 

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Computer Science Personal Statement Examples

What is a computer science personal statement?

Your application form features your grades, but the UCAS personal statement is an opportunity to sell youself to the university.

This means you need to include your skills, goals and suitability for the course when drafting a computer science undergraduate or postgraduate personal statement.

Make sure you convey your talents for programming and why you are committed to this course. Read through some of our computer science personal statement examples to see what makes a good and successful statement.

How do I write a computer science personal statement?

When it comes down to how to start a personal statement, don’t tie yourself in knots. Why do you want to study computer science? Personal statements should answer this question, so open with your motivation during your introduction.

Your computer science personal statement should be easy to read, explaining why you have chosen this course and how you intend to work hard to achieve your goals. Give your computer science personal statemen to others to proofread, and ensure the language is concise, makes sense, and is grammatically correct. Don't just rely on a spellchecker for your final draft - read it through yourself, and check for errors thoroughly.

What should I include in my computer science personal statement?

• What subject areas do you enjoy that will support your application? For example, you might pick a topic from your mathematics A level that particularly interests and talk about why you find it fascinating.
• Remember that you can only write one personal statement, so it needs to be suitable for all the universities you are planning on applying to. 
• Talk about your hobbies and extracurricular activities, and how they are relevant - what have you learned from them? Have they inspired you to do anything else? For example, have you built a computer from scratch, or built a new app or website? Are you able to code? If so, what languages can you code in and how did you learn?
• If you’re applying for a postgraduate course, you may want to talk about higher level skills you possess such as innovation, and the results of your final year undergraduate project. 
• Think about your wider reading, e.g. newspapers, magazines, journals, etc. What recent developments interest you, and why are they exciting? Remember, your computer science personal statement needs to stand out from the crowd, so make it as relevant as possible, while giving it your own, unique voice.

How do I write my computer science personal statement introduction?

Try to start your computer science personal statement with a paragraph that will immediately grab the reader's attention. For example, you might relate a story about an experience with computer science when you were a child, such as a birthday present or a day trip with your family. You might also choose to open your statement by talking about one or two aspects of computer science that fascinate you, and why you find them interesting.

For example, this candidate talks about Linux and how they overcame the challenges of using this operating system:

"My views about computing changed considerably when I heard about Linux. In the late nineties it was a newer operating system and tasks like installing and configuring were considered to be quite challenging in India. However, I was intrigued by this challenge and without any formal training I was able to independently install this system. This was due to the sound knowledge I had acquired through reading a vast range of technical books. My fascination towards the evolving IT industry has been growing ever since. "

Not only does this pick out something specific from the world of computing, but shows the reader that the applicant had the persistence and ambition to figure out how to install and use the operating system using textbooks, which is the sort of student they are looking to engage on their course.

Another example is the following candidate, who chose to open their statement by recounting the time they built their first computer:

"Building my first computer was an experience I will never forget. Looking over what seemed to be a city of silicone, I marveled at how elegantly the components were arranged on the motherboard. Yet I did not feel fully satisfied, as I knew there was a whole other world of computing, which could only be explored by completing a degree in computer science.

Studying A Level mathematics has taught me that there are countless methods of approaching a problem and I have also found this to be true of programming."

Again, the student has picked out something specific and told a story, which helps to engage the reader straight away and tells them how interested they are in computing. They then go on to relate their current studies to the course, which is another strength of the opening of this statement.

Hopefully these two examples show how you might put together your own unique opening for your computer science statement, but if you're still struggling, take a look at the rest of our example personal statements .

How do I write a conclusion for my computer science personal statement?

We suggest rounding off your statement with a paragraph about your extracurricular activities and hobbies, and how they relate to your course. For example:

"I also participated at a first-aid national contest organized by the Red Cross Romania, which gave me the opportunity to be the leader of a rescue team. This helped me understand better how to face critical situations and improve my leadership skills.

I often think that computer science will give me the chance to reach higher peaks, and I really consider that it has already helped me see life in a different way. Programming gave me the chance to help many children with special needs, to meet interesting people, to discover a new world. That is exactly why I would like to study and follow a career in this field."

Further resources

For more help and advice on what to write in your computer science personal statement, please see:

• Personal Statement Editing Services
• Personal Statement Tips From A Teacher
• Analysis Of A Personal Statement
• The 15th January UCAS Deadline: 4 Ways To Avoid Missing It
• Personal Statement FAQs
• Personal Statement Timeline
• 10 Top Personal Statement Writing Tips
• What To Do If You Miss The 15th January UCAS Deadline.

Related resources

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A Level Results Day

37 Personal Purpose Statement Examples & Ideas for 2024

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Last Updated on January 25, 2024 by Glori Surban

So much of life has gone by an, yet, I still have so much more I want to accomplish. I want people to know what I stand for and that I made a difference.

Have you ever felt like this? Like you need a roadmap for your life?

Well, a personal purpose statement is that roadmap .

In this post, I'll offer 37 personal purpose statement examples and tips that will help you write your own.

But first, let's start with a simple definition.

Table of Contents

What is a Personal Purpose Statement? 

A personal purpose statement defines what you want to accomplish in life. It gives you direction to accomplish what's important to you … as it reflects what you stand for, your goals and core values.

It's also commonly referred to as a personal mission statement, and is usually only one to two sentences long.

Think of it as your motto — even your brand. Once written, you can make sure your decisions and actions are in line with carrying out this purpose.

Benefits of Personal Purpose Statement

As humans, we are a product of our environment. We often take on the  values and beliefs of our parents or whoever raised us,  our current life situation… and can even be influenced to a certain degree by society at large.

A personal purpose statement requires you to  focus on your values, beliefs, goals, and purpose in life . You'll have to think about what's really important to you… not someone else. It's a self-discovery process.  It helps you realize who you are.

Coming up with a personal purpose statement requires you to realize your skills, talents, likes and dislikes . You may surprise yourself and arrive at a whole new level of self-appreciation.

As you're thinking about where you want to get to, you'll also consider where you are currently. It makes you mindful of what you have now, how you got it, and the people who played a role in that journey. This can give you a sense of gratefulness .

Once written, you can refer to this statement as a guide to making life decisions. It will help you know how to spend your time, and possibly even what professional and personal networks to build.

With your power statement, you'll know exactly what you want out of life and what you would like to contribute to the world. You'll know what you want your legacy to be. 

It's that roadmap I mentioned earlier. If you know you're trying to get to Detroit from Atlanta, you're not going to go in the direction of Florida. So, it not only helps you decide what direction to go in, it helps you know what not to do as well.  It keeps you on track.

Once your statement is written, you can center all of your decisions on making it happen.

You can avoid wasting your time making decisions and carrying out behaviors that do not provide what you really want out of life and want to contribute to the world.

For example, your statement can help you decide which classes to take in school, which job to choose, what projects or promotions to pursue at work and even where to live.  

It helps you realize who you are and stick to it, no matter what someone else may be doing or trying to persuade you to do.

I think most would agree that saying no can be hard. Your statement gives you something to refer to when you're on the fence about a decision or action.

You won't have to try and figure out on the spur of the moment if you should say no. Just think about or read your mission statement. Will saying yes bring you closer to its manifestation?

One of the most important things your personal purpose statement can do is help you continue to soldier forward, even in the face of adversities and set-backs.

It can be your guide to happiness. Once you know your purpose, you know what fulfills and completes you. You can always refer to it when things get hard or seem futile.

It keeps you hungry for your purpose because it's a constant reminder. Check out these personal purpose statement examples from successful people.  

You're on your way to being amongst the great!

How to Create a Personal Purpose Statement

Start by brainstorming. This means you’ll need to consider all ideas and exclude nothing. Once you've documented all of your thoughts… you can go back and eliminate, modify, and polish for your final statement.

Here are some things to think about and ask yourself:

Write down what's most important to you , what you value, and what you're passionate about.

What are you for and what are you against?

Who are you? Who do you want to be? 

What are your talents and strengths?

How do you want to change the world or what do you want your impact to be on the world ? 

What would you like others to say about you when you're no longer here? What do you want your legacy to be?

What are your professional and personal goals?

What do you need to accomplish your purpose, goals, or to become the person you want to be? Do you need a specific degree or skill?

Who are the people you want to affect? Who are the most important individuals to you,  and how do they fit in with your life purpose, values, beliefs, desired legacy? 

This article gives you nine life purpose examples that can help you realize what's most important to you.

Watch the video below to learn about the two ways you can find purpose in your life and explore and provide practical strategies you can use, so you can find more meaning with your daily routine.

Make your statement affirmative. Write what you want, not what you don't want. Most statements are written in the present tense, but I've seen some written in future tense, too.

It might sound like a daunting task to reduce your whole purpose on this earth to one to two sentences, but think of it as a guide or overarching statement. It's your umbrella.

Don't worry or think about the details of how you're going to get it. Now is the time to think about what you really want to achieve. 

If these starter questions aren't enough, this  Developgoodhabits.com article  goes into more depth and will help you think more deeply. 

The following personal purpose statement examples will help you get started. 

37 Personal Purpose Statement Examples and Ideas

Some of these are one-size-fits-all. Change a word or two to fit your purpose, or exchange the field used in the example for yours. For instance, “To provide legal services … ,” could be, “To provide social services, educational services, or healthcare services.”

• To motivate and inspire others to live a life where they are mentally and physically healthy, and have peace and contentment.
• I am dedicated to working on behalf of children, to bring them the resources they need for a healthy and prosperous present and future life.
• To bring more convenient and functional technology to the world that will improve the quality of life. 
• To lead by example, personifying my values of kindness, forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and hard work.
• To bring joy to the world through music and lyrics that inspire.
• I want to instill in others the self-love and confidence that gives them the self-efficacy to excel and make their dreams come true.
• To live each day to the fullest and appreciate, as well as learn and grow from every experience.
• To play a significant role in creating a company culture where all workers feel appreciated, so that they feel like their time with the company is a worthwhile investment in themselves, their families, and their future.
• To use my cooking skills to bring families and individuals nutritious, tasty food options.
• To appreciate and enjoy my family every day, by making decisions that put their best interests first.
• To create communication devices that free individuals up to spend more quality, in-person time with loved ones. I want to make devices that foster more work-life balance.
• To embrace my God-given talent, work hard to cultivate and enhance it, and be the best at what I do.
• To put forth the effort, discipline, and all that it takes to excel and be the best athlete.
• To gain the knowledge necessary to educate others on how to become financially independent, and empower individuals with that knowledge.
• To teach children about nutrition, the short and long-term benefits of a healthy lifestyle, and how to start and maintain such a lifestyle.
• To provide healthcare and hope to the suffering and their loved ones.

• To provide legal services that reduce social injustices and other disparities that exist due to the status quo.
• To provide legal services that give the disenfranchised and marginalized a voice.
• To create materials, services, or products that help girls and women achieve and maintain a healthy self-esteem.
• To empower marginalized young men by giving them the resources they need to overcome racial, educational, political, and socioeconomic barriers and injustices.
• To participate in the creation and enactment of laws that reduces the number of women and children negatively impacted by domestic violence.
• To make the world a better place for individuals with special needs, by participating in initiatives that focus on inclusivity and strengths recognition.
• I want to treat others as I want to be treated, forgive freely, and embrace and appreciate commonalities and differences. I want to be remembered as someone who brought more peace, understanding, and love to the world.
• To lead by example and be the loving, caring, forgiving human being God intended. To love my neighbor as I love myself and as God loves.
• To be a parent who meets my children's needs. To teach and show them that success is about being the best person you can be, treating everyone as you wish to be treated, and doing what makes you happy.
• To make sure the world always has transportation that is safe, reliable, and accessible.
• To build infrastructures that improve communities and the quality of life.
• To design transportation systems that put products in consumers' hands faster and more economically.
• To work with and serve the elderly in a way that makes them feel valued, needed, and like an integral part of a thriving society.
• To serve in a role where I identify the most vulnerable, and work to bring them resources that will help them gain physiological security. 
• To touch the world with my art, and be an outlet for others to express or feel that someone else is expressing their true vulnerabilities and feelings. My art will do more than entertain, it will make people feel supported and understood.
• To achieve the education required to serve the purpose God intended for me. With that education, I will give back to society generously, and remarkably leave the world in some concrete way better than it was before my contribution.
• I want to be an educator who helps students see learning as a fun part of their life that they look forward to experiencing.    
• To be a father who raises sons to be caring, loving, respectful, responsible men, protective of their loved ones, and daughters to be caring, loving, respectful, responsible women who know their value and will not compromise it.
• To be the best wife, mother, and professional, successful at creating a secure, loving life for my family and myself.
• To look at challenges or failures as stepping stones placed in my path so that when I do realize my full potential — my purpose — that purpose will be that much greater, better, and appreciated. To be a positive presence to others, to help them view life in the same way.
• I want to approach life with a spirit of happiness, laughter, and forgiveness.

Final Thoughts on Personal Purpose Statement Examples

This article was designed to inspire you to go after all you seek in life. All you want to do, see and be.

These ideas and templates are designed to get your personal-mission-statement wheels turning… so don't worry if you don't see yourself represented in every example.

If you're feeling like you can't capture your purpose in one statement, that's okay, too. You're defining you and your path on this earth. Your reason for being is unique, and you can have more than one !

Or, it may be that all of the personal purpose statement examples in the world won’t help… because you’re still struggling to find your why. If you feel you are in that situation, read this article on five steps for people struggling with their why.

There are also actionable steps you can take to help you find your purpose. Things like practicing mindfulness , self-care and journaling can work wonders to help you get to the bottom of things.

Finally, if you want to increase your happiness and life satisfaction, then watch this free video that details the 7-minute habit for planning your day to focus on what's important .

Dos and don'ts of resume personal statements

A good personal statement can make your resume catch a recruiter's eye. We'll show you how to write a solid personal statement highlighting your unique skills, experiences, and professional goals. Whatever career stage you're in, we've got you covered. Read on to find information on the topic, resume personal statement examples, and helpful tips to help you stand out in the job market.

• What is a personal statement?
• Key elements to include in a personal statement
• Personal statement examples
• Tips on writing a personal statement for your resume
• Formatting and structuring your statement
• Common mistakes when writing a personal statement
• Bottom line

What is a personal statement?  

Think of a personal statement as a quick snapshot of yourself on your resume. It's a brief section that tells employers what kind of employee you are. Sometimes, it's also called resume objectives or CV personal statement.

The personal statement shows your goals and what makes you unique. It can be used to show how your skills, experiences, and job goals make you stand out from other applicants. This can significantly affect how the employer sees you as a potential employee.

It's your chance to add personality, passion, and purpose to your resume. You can make an impression that will make you shine during your job search.

Key elements to include in a personal statement  

To make a great resume summary, remember these important points that help a hiring manager understand who you are professionally:

• Who you are: Start by briefly saying who you are. Give a short but clear summary of your work background.
• Summary of your experiences : Give a brief outline of your career. Focus on crucial turning points, accomplishments, and related experiences. This part overviews your career path and shows how broad or deep your knowledge is.
• Your value as an employee: Explain what makes you special. Talk about the skills, qualities, and experiences that make you different from others applying for the job. Show how your experience matches the company's needs and how you can help them succeed.
• Your career objectives : At the end of your resume objective statement, list your career goals and ambitions. Make your short and long-term career goals clear. This shows that you're committed to professional growth and development.

Personal statement examples  

A good personal statement can be an important part of shaping your career, whether you’re a recent graduate or an experienced professional. Here are some examples of personal statements from different career stages. They show off relevant skills, experiences, and goals of job seekers.

Personal statement examples for students looking for internships

"I am a driven undergraduate student majoring in marketing, seeking internship opportunities to apply classroom knowledge in real-world settings. I have a proven ability to develop client relationships and execute marketing strategies. I am ready to share new thoughts and learn from people with more experience."

"Dedicated undergraduate student studying mechanical engineering, looking for an internship opportunity to apply theoretical knowledge to practical projects. Skilled with CAD tools and has experience making prototypes. Possesses strong critical thinking skills and takes the necessary steps to solve problems. Excellent collaborator who is always looking to learn and improve."

Personal statement example for fresh graduates

"I am a recent finance bachelor's degree holder with a solid grasp of financial principles and robust analytic abilities. I have operated effectively in dynamic settings and provided precise financial analysis. I am seeking an entry-level role in financial analysis to utilise my academic knowledge and contribute to organisational success."

"Highly motivated human resource management graduate who is deeply committed to cultivating positive work environments. Proficient in employee relations, performance management, and recruitment. Seeking an HR position to implement academic knowledge and acquire practical experience."

Personal statement examples for working professionals

"I am an experienced sales manager with more than five years of experience in B2B sales. I am currently looking to resume my professional career. I have a proven history of exceeding sales goals, building strong relationships with clients, and establishing vital client leads. I am looking for a challenging sales manager position where I can use my leadership skills to coach a team of top performers and make the company more profitable."

"I am an accomplished project manager with a background in information technology. I am skilled at coordinating the efforts of diverse teams to complete challenging assignments on schedule and within budget. I have consistently reduced risk and guaranteed project success. I am seeking new opportunities to apply my project management expertise in a dynamic environment."

Personal statement example for workers making mid-career transitions

"Experienced marketer ready to move into digital advertising. Skilled in both digital and conventional marketing tactics, with a particular focus on expanding brands' reach and interaction via online media. Seeks a position to use marketing talents to create modern digital advertising strategies."

"I am a project manager with extensive experience, with a career goal to work in sustainable development. I am passionate about positively affecting society and comfortable in a fast-paced environment. I have expertise at working with stakeholders and planning strategically."

Tips on writing a personal statement for your resume  

Before you start writing your statement, think about the following tips.

Selecting the most impactful experiences to share

Carefully choose which experiences to highlight in your CV personal statement. Consider the following aspects to guarantee that you demonstrate the most effective ones:

• Relevance to job scope: Select experiences and relevant qualifications that directly relate to the needs of your desired role.
• Significance of results: Highlight experiences in which you achieved substantial results. Focus on your efforts and accomplishments.
• Business impact: Show how your work has increased the company's profits. Give numbers to support your results and explain how your work has helped the group succeed or grow.

Demonstrating problem-solving and leadership through past scenarios

In your resume personal statement, use examples from your past to show how you've solved problems and led others .

Try to give an example of your problem and how you solved it. Highlight situations when you were proactive, made tough choices, and helped others succeed.

Demonstrating that you can deal with problems and lead confidently shows you're ready for new tasks in your next job.

Keeping your personal statement concise

Write a short, clear, objective statement to help you hold the reader's attention. Here are some suggestions to help you keep your resume personal statement short:

• Editing: Carefully read over your resume and personal statement. Remove unnecessary details or repeated information, and ensure you only include the most useful and important facts.
• Clarity: Write clearly to make sure your message is easy to understand. Avoid using jargon or academic terms that the reader might not know.
• Length: Personal statements should be short but full of helpful information. There is no rigid word limit but keep your statement to a few brief lines that get to the point of who you are as a professional and what you want to achieve.

Formatting and structuring your statement  

Here are some guidelines for making your objective statement more straightforward and organised.

Formatting tips for maximum readability

The layout of your resume personal statement affects how hiring managers read and interact with your content. To make sure your writing is easy to comprehend, consider the following:

• For a professional appearance, pick a classy font that's simple to read, such as Times New Roman, Arial, or Calibri.
• Keep the font size the same throughout the document. The best range is between 10pt and 12pt.
• When choosing the point of view, think about the tone and setting of your resume personal statement.
• First-person POV allows you to connect with the reader more directly, and third-person POV can present an air of professionalism and objectivity.

Pros and cons of each POV style

Both the first-person and the third-person POVs have pros and cons. A first-person POV makes it feel like the text is directed at the reader, but it can sometimes be too casual. On the other hand, a third-person POV seems objective and professional. This is common in formal settings but can feel impersonal or distant.

The POV you choose affects the way your personal statement reads. First-person POV creates a more personal and conversational tone. The third-person perspective conveys a feeling of formality and objectivity, setting a tone appropriate for formal papers.

Alignment with your overall resume style

Pick a POV for your personal statement that complements your resume's general tone and style. The document should flow from one section to the next. To make a good impression on recruiters, change the POV to fit the role, the company culture, and the business. If you’re applying for a creative role, you can make your resume stand out by matching the creative writing style of your prospective employer.

Resume personal statement in first-person POV

“With a strong background in content marketing, I excel in writing, editing, content planning, and SEO. In my previous roles, I was committed to ensuring my team met deadlines and KPIs. I'm eager to leverage my skills and enthusiasm as Content Manager for the Singapore Creative Ad Agency.”

Resume personal statement in third-person POV

“Has a strong background in content marketing. Excels in writing, editing, content planning, and SEO. In previous roles, demonstrated a commitment to ensuring the team met deadlines and KPIs. Eager to leverage skills and enthusiasm as Content Manager for the Singapore Creative Ad Agency.”

Common mistakes when writing a personal statement  

Avoid common clichés and overused phrases.

Don't include phrases such as "hardworking," "team player," and "results-oriented." They don't say much about you and won't help you stand out from other applicants.

What to leave out of your personal statements

Remove any old or useless information that doesn't fit with your story or add value to your application. For example, if your achievements as a high school student aren’t relevant to your application, don’t include them. Read the job description carefully before adding any information.

Bad personal statement examples

"Motivated individual seeking challenging opportunities to utilise analytical skills and grow within a dynamic organisation."

"Passionate team player with excellent communication skills and a strong work ethic."

"Detail-oriented professional with a proven track record of success in various roles."

These examples are too short and vague. They don’t say anything about you as a person or employee. Make sure your personal statements showcase your unique traits and career path. Show your positive impact in your previous roles, and highlight what benefit your prospective employer can get from hiring you.

Bottom line  

Personal statements can make or break a job application. Using the ideas, examples, and advice in this guide, you can write the best statement that catches the hiring managers interest and connects with them on a deeper level. Remember that your personal statement is more than just a summary of your work history. It's your chance to show potential employers what you can do and how passionate you are about the job.

• What should I write in my statement for a resume? Your statement should briefly summarise your professional attributes. It should cover relevant skills, experiences, and career goals that match the role you're pursuing. ⁠
• Can you provide summary statements and examples for a job application? Yes! Here's an example: "As a seasoned marketing professional with a passion for innovation, I'm excited to leverage my expertise in digital marketing to enhance and energise your dynamic team at XYZ Company. Committed to driving tangible outcomes, I aim to contribute my skills in crafting impactful campaigns and utilising analytics to fuel your organisation's success." ⁠
• How long should a personal statement be on a resume? A few sentences should be enough for a short but powerful statement. They should focus on the most relevant information that fits the job description. ⁠
• What are some dos and don'ts for writing a resume personal statement? Dos: Personalise your statement for the position and company. Highlight your job-related abilities, experiences, and accomplishments. Don'ts: Avoid using clichés or generic phrases. Don't make it too long. ⁠
• How can I make my statement stand out to employers? Make your personal statements special to each role you apply for. Think about your personal profile and the job description. Highlight your unique skills, accomplishments, and goals that match the role's needs. This will help you connect strongly with managers. ⁠
• Are there any online tools to help me craft a personal statement? Yes, tools like Perfect Essay Writer, Paper Help, and BBQ Papers can help you improve and modify your personal statements by giving you language tips and reading-level feedback.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Grad Life Grind and welcome to this series on personal statements. My name is Arielle, I'm a PhD student in clinical psychology and I know exactly how you feel about your personal statement. I've been there, it's stressful and it's overwhelming and that's why I'm sharing my tips for how to write a good statement. In this video I want to talk about some of the things that you want to think about in order to make your narrative flow nicely for your personal statement. The reason why you want it to flow nicely is because you should think of your personal statement as a story. You don't want to just list off things about yourself or have choppy experiences about you in each paragraph. You want it to kind of come together really nicely by the end so that it really wraps about around the reader's impression of you. So some of the things that you can think about before you even start writing are what are some of the threads that I want to run through this? What are some of the values that I want to make sure I'm conveying throughout this statement? So if something that's really important to you in your life is activism, then maybe you want to make sure that in every paragraph you're kind of touching on that a little bit and you don't have to be too harsh with these threads. You just have to think about what things do I want to make sure are kind of interwoven throughout my statement because you don't want to have something that you mentioned at the beginning that you kind of open your essay with that you don't come back to in the end. So if you open your statement with a story about this time when you were six and how something terrible happened to you but then you learned something from it, you want to come back to that six-year-old version of you at the end of the statement because as a reader I'm thinking about what drew me into reading this paper. Whatever got me hooked at the beginning in the first paragraph, I want to hear more about that at the end. If you started a story, you want to make sure that you finish it. So thinking about what things you want to make sure are covered throughout. And even if you've already started writing your essay and you're not thinking about the threads or the narrative flow before you started writing, that's fine. You can read through your essay once you're editing and think about, does this flow nicely? Am I touching on things throughout and not just in one or two places? And maybe not everything is something that you want to come back to. There are some things that only deserve a sentence or two and that's fine, but some of the big ideas that you want to convey are things that definitely need to run through the entire paper. So think about that when you're writing or editing your personal statement and if you want more tips then you can move on in this series. And if you're completely confused about what a personal statement is, why it's important, and what you can do to get started, you should go back and watch the first few videos in this series because all of it is laid out for you. I hope that you'll continue watching more of my videos and also subscribe to my channel for more information about grad school, what it's like applying to grad school, and my own experience working in the mental health field. Thanks.

Personal statement week: 23 – 29 September 2024

Applying to university.

• Getting started
• UCAS Tariff points
• Calculate your UCAS Tariff points
• Amendments to the Tariff consultation
• Offer rate calculator
• How to use the offer rate calculator
• Understanding historical entry grades data
• Admissions tests
• Deferred entry
• Personal statement advice and example: computer science
• Personal statement advice: English
• Personal statement advice: Midwifery
• Personal statement advice: animal science
• Personal statement advice: biology
• Personal statement advice: business and management
• Personal statement advice: chemistry
• Personal statement advice: dance
• Personal statement advice: dentistry
• Personal statement advice: drama
• Personal statement advice: economics
• Personal statement advice: engineering
• Personal statement advice: geography
• Personal statement advice: history
• Personal statement advice: law
• Personal statement advice: maths
• Personal statement advice: media studies and journalism
• Personal statement advice: medicine
• Personal statement advice: modern languages
• Personal statement advice: music
• Personal statement advice: nursing
• Personal statement advice: pharmacy
• Personal statement advice: physiotherapy
• Personal statement advice: politics
• Personal statement advice: psychology
• Personal statement advice: social work
• Personal statement advice: sociology
• Personal statement advice: sports science
• Personal statement advice: statistics
• Personal statement advice: teacher training and education
• Personal statement advice: veterinary medicine
• Personal statement: finance and accounting
• Filling in your application
• Staying safe online
• How to write a personal statement that works for multiple courses
• The new personal statement for 2026 entry
• How To Write Your Undergraduate Personal Statement
• Fraud and similarity
• How to start a personal statement: The attention grabber
• How to end your personal statement
• Introducing the personal statement tool
• Personal statement dos and don'ts
• Personal statement week
• What to include in a personal statement
• Using AI and ChatGPT to help you with your personal statement
• Using your personal statement beyond a university application
• Carers, estranged students, refugees, asylum seekers, and those with limited leave to remain
• Personal statement guides
• References for mature students

Your personal statement is arguably the hardest part of your application – knowing what to include, how to structure it, and finally, actually writing it.  

To help, we’re dedicating an entire week to supporting you with your personal statement across our social media channels – from 23 to 29 September 2024.  

Discover personal statement tools to get you started, ask your questions live, and get plenty of support and advice from the experts and students who have been there, done that. 

We'll be covering:

• TikTok Live Q&A to get all your questions answered: register now
• How to translate your skills into your personal statement so you can wow admissions staff
• Hear from current students to get their tips and advice
• How you can find virtual work experience and subject tasters, and how this can be used in your personal statement
• How to write a personal statement if you're applying to multiple different courses
• AI advice - how to use it to help you write your personal statement

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Thesis Statement Examples

Practical Thesis Statement Examples That Will Transform Your Writing

10 min read

Published on: Sep 3, 2024

Last updated on: Sep 3, 2024

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Writing a strong thesis statement is key to a great essay, but coming up with the perfect one can be tricky. 

No matter if you're working on a personal essay, an argumentative paper, or something else, having clear examples can really help.

In this blog, we’ll explore a variety of thesis statement examples for different types of essays. This will help you understand how to create strong statements that guide your writing and keep your readers engaged. 

Let’s find the right thesis for your next essay!

What Is A Thesis Statement?

A thesis statement is a key part of your essay that tells readers what your essay is about. It’s a clear sentence that sums up the main point or argument you’re going to make. Think of it as a guide that helps your readers understand your main idea and what to expect from your essay.

Your thesis statement usually goes at the end of your introduction. It gives your essay direction and helps keep everything focused on your main point.

Examples Of Thesis Statements By Essay Type

To help you see how to write effective thesis statements, here are thesis statement examples for essays of various types. Each example will give you a clearer picture of how to approach various topics.

Examples Of Thesis Statements For Personal Essays 

A personal essay thesis statement reflects your unique experiences and feelings. It shares a central idea about a personal story or insight you’re discussing.

Here are a few examples to give you an idea of how to craft your own:

• Overcoming my fear of public speaking taught me that courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to act despite it.
• Traveling to a new country showed me that stepping out of my comfort zone is the best way to grow and learn.
• My experience of balancing school and a part-time job proved that hard work and dedication can lead to personal success and self-discovery.

Thesis Statement Examples For Informative Essay 

A thesis statement for an informative essay provides a clear and specific overview of the topic you’re explaining. It helps readers understand the focus of your essay and what information they can expect to learn. 

Let’s take a look at some informative thesis statement examples :

• The process of photosynthesis is essential for plant growth as it converts sunlight into energy and produces oxygen, which is crucial for life on Earth.
• The history of the internet reveals how technological advancements have transformed communication, from early networks to the modern web.
• Understanding the basics of genetic inheritance can explain how traits are passed from parents to offspring and how genetic disorders can occur.

Thesis Statement Examples For Compare And Contrast Essays

A thesis statement for a compare and contrast essay highlights the similarities and differences between two or more subjects. It helps readers understand the main points of comparison and what you will be discussing. 

Some examples are:

• While both public and private schools aim to provide quality education, they differ significantly in terms of funding, curriculum flexibility, and student-to-teacher ratios.
• Although electric cars and gasoline-powered cars serve the same purpose of transportation, they differ in their environmental impact, cost, and efficiency.
• The lifestyles of city dwellers and rural residents differ greatly, with urban areas offering more job opportunities and amenities, while rural areas provide a slower pace of life and closer connection to nature.

Argumentative Essay Thesis Statement Examples

A thesis statement for an argumentative essay clearly states your opinion on a hot topic and explains why you hold that view. It shows what you believe and what you’ll be arguing for. 

Below are some argumentative thesis statement examples :

• A universal basic income can help reduce poverty and provide financial stability, making it a crucial step toward reducing economic inequality.
• Renewable energy is vital for fighting climate change because it cuts down on greenhouse gas emissions and supports a healthier planet.
• Requiring school uniforms in public schools can decrease peer pressure and help students focus more on their studies.

Thesis Statement Examples For Persuasive Essay 

A thesis statement for a persuasive essay aims to convince the reader of a particular viewpoint. It presents your position and hints at the arguments you’ll use to support it. 

Some examples include: 

• Adopting a plant-based diet is beneficial for health and the environment, as it reduces the risk of chronic diseases and decreases ecological footprints.
• Investing in public transportation improves urban mobility and reduces traffic congestion, leading to a more efficient and eco-friendly city.
• Banning single-use plastics is essential to protect marine life and reduce pollution, helping to preserve the environment for future generations.

Analytical Essay Thesis Statement Examples 

A thesis statement for an analytical essay breaks down a topic and examines its components. It highlights what you will analyze and what insights or conclusions you aim to provide. 

Here are some good thesis statement examples for analytical essays:

• Analyzing Shakespeare’s use of imagery in "Macbeth" reveals how it enhances the play’s themes of ambition and guilt.
• Examining the impact of social media on communication shows how it has changed the way we interact and perceive relationships.
• The portrayal of leadership in “The Great Gatsby” illustrates how wealth and power can corrupt moral values and influence behavior.

Expository Essay Thesis Statement Examples 

A thesis statement for an expository essay explains a topic or idea in detail. It provides a clear summary of what the essay will cover and how it will inform the reader. 

See the examples mentioned below: 

• The process of recycling involves several key steps, including sorting materials, processing them into raw materials, and creating new products.
• The history of the internet highlights key milestones such as the development of early networks, the rise of the World Wide Web, and the evolution of online communication.
• Understanding the causes of climate change requires examining factors like greenhouse gas emissions, deforestation, and industrial activities.

Process Essay Thesis Statement Examples 

A thesis statement for a process essay explains how something is done or how a process works. It gives a clear overview of the steps involved. Take a glance at these examples :

• Making homemade pizza involves preparing the dough, adding toppings, and baking it to create a delicious and customizable meal.
• The steps to start a small business include researching the market, creating a business plan, and securing funding to ensure a successful launch.
• Learning a new language requires practicing speaking and listening skills, studying grammar, and immersing oneself in the language through reading and conversation.

Thesis Statement Examples According to Different Academic Levels 

Writing a thesis statement changes as you move through different study levels. Each stage has its own approach and complexity. Here’s how thesis statements might look across different levels:

Thesis Statement Examples for Kids 

At a basic level, thesis statements for kids are simple and direct. They usually focus on familiar topics and straightforward ideas. Consider these examples :

• Dogs make great pets because they are loyal, fun, and good with kids.
• Reading books is important because it helps you learn new things and improves your imagination.

Middle School Thesis Statement Examples 

In middle school, thesis statements start to involve more detail and support. They reflect a better understanding of how to structure arguments. Here are some examples :

• School uniforms should be required because they promote equality, reduce distractions, and make it easier for students to focus on their studies.
• Eating a balanced diet is crucial for maintaining good health because it provides essential nutrients, boosts energy levels, and helps prevent diseases.

High School Thesis Statement Examples 

High school thesis statements are more sophisticated, often including a clear argument and multiple supporting points. Take a look these examples :

• The benefits of online learning outweigh the drawbacks because it offers flexibility, access to a wide range of resources, and the ability to balance education with other responsibilities.
• Participating in extracurricular activities is important for high school students as it helps develop leadership skills, build friendships, and enhance college applications.

College Thesis Statement Examples 

At the college level, thesis statements are complex and detailed and often address more complex arguments. Examples include:

• Implementing renewable energy solutions, such as solar and wind power, is essential for reducing our reliance on fossil fuels and mitigating the effects of climate change.
• The rise of social media has transformed political campaigning by increasing voter engagement, spreading misinformation, and altering traditional campaign strategies.

Thesis Statement Examples for Research Papers

For research papers, thesis statements must be well-researched and specific and provide a clear direction for the study. Consider these examples :

• Exploring the effects of childhood trauma on adult mental health reveals significant correlations between early experiences and the development of psychological disorders later in life.
• Investigating the impact of artificial intelligence on the job market shows that while AI creates new opportunities, it also poses challenges related to job displacement and workforce adaptation.

More Examples Of Thesis Statements 

As you work on different essays and writing tasks, you’ll see that thesis statements can vary a lot. Here are some additional examples to illustrate their diversity.

Literary Analysis Thesis Statement Examples 

• In "To Kill a Mockingbird," Harper Lee uses symbolism, such as the mockingbird, to highlight the themes of innocence and moral growth.
• The use of unreliable narrators in Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Tell-Tale Heart” enhances the story’s exploration of guilt and madness.

Implied Thesis Statement Examples 

• Despite its surface simplicity, “The Little Prince” offers a profound critique of adult behavior through its exploration of human nature and relationships.
• The persistent use of color imagery in “The Great Gatsby” subtly emphasizes the theme of the American Dream and its inherent flaws.

Thesis Statement Examples For Research Papers 

• Examining the effects of sleep deprivation on academic performance shows a direct link between lack of sleep and reduced cognitive abilities in students.
• Research into the impact of climate change on coastal ecosystems reveals that rising sea levels and increased temperatures are threatening biodiversity and habitat stability.

Complex Thesis Statement Examples

• While the integration of technology in education offers numerous benefits, such as personalized learning and greater accessibility, it also presents challenges related to screen time and data privacy.
• The debate over genetic engineering in agriculture involves both potential benefits, like increased crop yields and disease resistance, and ethical concerns, such as environmental impact and genetic diversity.

In closing, 

A strong thesis statement is the backbone of any good essay. It helps guide your writing and keeps your readers focused on your main point. With the examples provided, you can see how to shape your thesis for different types of essays and academic levels.

If you want a little extra help with your thesis statements, check out the thesis statement generator from MyEssayWriter.ai . It’s a handy tool that can help you create and perfect your thesis statements quickly. 

For extra help with essay writing, check out our essay writer . It's an AI tool that can write high-quality essays for you in a breeze!

Frequently Asked Questions

How do i write my thesis statement.

To write and start a thesis statement, you should:

• Pick Your Topic: Decide what your essay will be about.
• Formulate Your Argument: Choose your main point or stance on the topic.
• Be Specific: Make sure your statement clearly outlines what you'll discuss.
• Make It Debatable: Your thesis should present an argument that can be supported with evidence.
• Keep It Concise: Aim for one or two sentences that clearly express your main idea.

What 3 things should a thesis statement have?

Typically, a thesis statement format includes three main parts: the topic you're discussing, your main argument or viewpoint , and the reasons or evidence you'll use to back up that argument. 

What is an example of a weak and strong thesis statement?

Weak Thesis Statement: "Social media is bad."

• It's too broad and lacks detail.

Strong Thesis Statement: "Social media platforms negatively impact mental health by increasing anxiety and depression among teenagers, and this can be addressed through improved online safety measures."

• It's specific, takes a clear stance, and hints at the main points of the essay.

What is a thesis statement sentence?

A thesis statement sentence is a single sentence in your essay that summarizes your main point or argument. It’s usually found at the end of your introduction and guides the rest of your essay.

Caleb S. (Mass Literature and Linguistics, Masters)

Caleb S. is an accomplished author with over five years of experience and a Master's degree from Oxford University. He excels in various writing forms, including articles, press releases, blog posts, and whitepapers. As a valued author at MyEssayWriter.ai, Caleb assists students and professionals by providing practical tips on research, citation, sentence structure, and style enhancement.

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Resume personal statement examples

If you want to secure job interview, you need a strong personal statement at the top of your resume.

Your resume personal statement is a short paragraph which sits at the very top of your resume – and it’s aim is to summarize the benefits of hiring you and encourage employers to read your resume in full.

In this guide I have included 17 resume personal statement examples from a range of professions and experience levels, plus a detailed guide of how to write your own personal statement that will get you noticed by employers

Resume templates 

17 resume personal statement examples

To start this guide, I have included 10 examples of good personal statements, to give you an idea of how a personal statement should look , and what should be included.

Note: personal statements are generally used by junior candidates – if you are experienced, check out our resume summary examples instead.

College graduate resume personal statement (no experience)

Although this college graduate has no paid work experience , they compensate for it by showcasing all of the skills and knowledge the have gained during their studies, and demonstrating how they apply their knowledge in academic and personal projects.

When you have little or no experience, it’s important to draw out transferable workplace skills from your studies and extracurricular work, to showcase them to employers.

College graduate resume personal statement (part time freelance experience)

This candidate has graduated college with a degree in biochemistry but actually wants to start a career in marketing after providing some digital freelance services to fund their studies.

In this case, they haven’t made much mention of their studies because they aren’t relevant to the marketing agencies they are applying to. Instead they have focused their personal statement around their freelance work and passion for the digital field – although they still mention the fact they are degree educated to prove their academic success.

High school leaver resume personal statement (no experience)

This candidate is 16 years old and has no work experience whatsoever, but they compensate for this by detailing their academic achievements that relate to the roles they are applying for (maths and literacy are important requirements in finance and accountancy roles).

They also add some info on their extracurricular activities and high school work-placements, to strengthen this student resume further.

Top tips for writing a resume personal statement

• Thoroughly research the jobs and companies you are planning to apply for to identify the type of candidate they are looking for – try to reflect that in your personal statement
• Don’t be afraid to brag a little – include some of your most impressive achievements from education, work or personal life
• Focus on describing the benefits an employer will get from hiring you. Will you help them to get more customers? Improve their workplace? Save them time and money?
• If you have no work experience, demonstrate transferable workplace skills from your education, projects, or even hobbies

High school leaver resume personal statement (part time experience)

Although this person has only just left high school, they have also undertaken some part-time work in a call center alongside their studies.

To make the most of this experience, they have combined their academic achievements with their workplace exposure in this personal statement.

By highlighting their future studies, summer programme involvement, work experience and expressing their ambitions to progress within sales, this candidate really makes an appealing case for hiring them.

College leaver resume personal statement (no experience)

This candidate has left college with good grades, but does not yet have any work experience.

To compensate for the lack of workplace exposure, they have made their honor results prominent and highlighted skills and experience which would benefit the employers they are targeting.

Any recruiter reading this summary can quickly understand that this candidate has great academic achievements, a passion for IT and finance and the ability to transfer their skills into an office environment.

College student resume personal statement (freelance experience)

As this student has picked up a small amount of freelance writing work during their studies, they have made sure to brag about it in their personal statement.

They give details on their relevant studies to show the skills they are learning, and boost this further by highlighting the fact that they have been applying these skills in a real-life work setting by providing freelance services.

They also include key action verbs that recruiters will be looking for , such as creative writing, working to deadlines, and producing copy.

Academic resume personal statement

Aside from junior candidates, the only other people who might use a personal statement, are academic professionals; as their resume’s tend to be more longer and detailed than other professions.

This candidate provides a high level overview of their field of study, length of experience, and the roles they have held within colleges.

High school leaver resume personal statement with sports experience

Although this person has no work experience, they are still able to show employers the value of hiring them by selling their other achievements and explaining how they could benefit an organization.

They expand on their sports club involvement to demonstrate their teamwork, leadership skills, communication and motivation, which are all important traits in the workplace, and will be looked upon favourably by recruiters and hiring managers.

They also draw upon their future plans to study business studies at college and take a part time job, to further prove their ambition and dedication.

History graduate resume personal statement

This history graduate proves their aptitude for both academic achievement and workplace aptitude by showcasing valuable skills from their degree and voluntary work.

They do this by breaking down the key requirements for each and showing how their skills could be beneficial for future employers, such as listening, communication, and crisis management.

They also describe how their ability to balance studies alongside voluntary work has not only boosted their knowledge and skills, but also given excellent time management and organizational skills – which are vital assets to any employer.

Law graduate resume personal statement

This legal graduate makes the most from their college work placements by using it to bulk out the contents of their resume personal statement.

They include their degree to show they have the necessary qualifications for legal roles, which is crucial, but more importantly, they showcase how they applied their legal skills within a real-life work setting.

They give a brief overview of the types of legal professionals they have been working alongside and the type of work they have been carrying out – this is all it takes to get the attention of recruiters and show employers they have what it takes to fulfil roles in the legal sector.

Medical student resume personal statement

This medical student proves their fit for the role by showcasing the key skills they have gained from their studies and their work experience placements.

In just these few sentences, they are able to highlight the vast amount of experience they have across different disciplines in the industry, something which is particularly important in the medical sector.

As they have not graduated yet and are still studying, they have provided proof of their most recent grades. This can give the recruiter some indication as to the type of grade they could be graduating with in the near future.

Masters student resume personal statement

This masters student has started by specifying their area of study, in this case, accounting, and given details about the specific areas of finance they are most interested in. This can hint towards their career goals and passions.

They have then carefully listed some of the key areas of accounting and finance that they are proficient in. For example, business finance, advanced corporate finance and statistics.

They have also outlined some of the transferable skills needed for accounting roles that employers will be looking out for, such as communication, attention to detail and analytical skills.

Finance student resume personal statement

As this finance student has recently undertaken some relevant work experience, they’ve made sure to shout about this in their personal summary.

But more than this, they have included a list of some of the important finance skills they gained as a result of this work experience – for example, financial reporting, processing invoices and month-end reconciliations.

Plus, through power words and phrases such as ‘prevent loss’ and ‘improve upon accuracy and efficiency’, they have also showcased how they can apply these skills in a workplace setting to benefit the potential employer.

Internship resume personal statement

This digital marketing professional has started their personal summary by outlining their most relevant qualifications and work experience, most notably their freelance role as a content manager.

They have also provided examples of some of the key marketing skills that potential employers might be looking for, including very detailed examples of the platforms and tools they are proficient in – for example, LinkedIn, Twitter and Pinterest.

They have then closed their statement by giving a detailed description of the type of role or opportunity they are looking for. In this case, an in-house position in a marketing company.

College graduate career changer personal statement

Switching careers as a college graduate can be tough. Especially when it comes to writing a personal statement that will attract employers in your new chosen field.

This candidate is looking to move from history teaching into journalism, so they have created a statement which briefly mentions their current workplace, but mainly focuses on highlighting transferable skills which are relevant to journalism. They achieve this by discussing the writing skills they use in their current role, and mentioning their hobby of writing – including some publications they have been featured in for extra brownie points.

Business management graduate personal statement

This business management proves their ability to work within a junior business management position by swiftly highlighting their impressive degree (to ensure it is not missed) and summarizing some of the real-life experience they have gained in management during their college placements and volunteering. They do not let their lack of paid work experience, stop them demonstrating their valuable skills.

PhD graduate

PhD graduate roles attract a lot of competition, so it’s important that your resume contains a personal statement that will quickly impress and attract recruiters.

This candidate provides a short-but-comprehensive overview of their academic achievements, whilst demonstrating their exceptional level of knowledge in research, languages and publication writing.

By highlighting a number of skills and abilities that are in high-demand in the academic workplace, this resume is very likely to get noticed and land interviews.

How to write a personal statement for your resume

Now that you’ve seen what a personal statement should look like and the type of content it should contain, follow this detailed guide to one for your own resume – and start racking those interviews up.

Guide contents

What is a resume personal statement?

Resume personal statement or resume summary, personal statement format, what to include in a resume personal statement.

• Personal statement mistakes

How to write persuasively

A personal statement is a short paragraph at the top of your resume which gives employers an overview of your education, skills and experience

It’s purpose is to capture the attention of busy recruiters and hiring managers when your resume is first opened – encouraging them to read the rest of it.

You achieve this by writing a tailored summary of yourself that explains your suitability for the roles you are applying for at a very high level, and matches your target job descriptions .

One question candidates often ask me is , “what is the difference between a personal statement and a resume summary?”

To be honest, they are almost the same – they are both introductory paragraphs that sit at the top of your resume… but there are 2 main differences:

A personal statement tends to be used more by junior candidates (college graduates, high school leavers etc.) and is relatively long and detailed.

A resume summary tends to be favoured by more experienced candidates , and is shorter in length than a personal statement.

Note: If you are an experienced candidate, you may want to switch over to my resume writing guide , or example resume summaries page.

To ensure you grab recruiters’ attention with your personal statement, lay it out in the following way.

Positioning

You need to ensure that your personal statement sits at the very top of your resume, and all of it should be totally visible to readers, without the need to scroll down the page.

Do this by reducing the top page margin and minimizing the space taken up by your contact details.

This will ensure that your whole personal statement can be seen, as soon as your resume is opened.

We have a resume template which can help you to get this right.

Size/length

Your personal statement needs to contain enough detail to provide an introduction to your skills and knowledge, but not so much detail that it bores readers.

To strike the right balance, anything between 8-15 lines of text is perfect – and sentences should be sharp and to-the-point.

As with the whole of your resume , your personal statement should be written in a simple clean font at around size 10-12 to ensure that it can be read easily by all recruiters and employers.

Keep the text color simple, ensuring that it contrasts the background (black on white is best) and break it into 2 or even 3 paragraphs for a pleasant reading experience.

It should also be written in a punchy persuasive tone, to help you sell yourself and increase your chances of landing interviews, I cover how to do this in detail further down the guide.

Quick tip: A poorly written resume will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy Resume Builder to create a winning resume in minutes with professional resume templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Once you have the style and format of your personal statement perfected, you need to fill it with compelling content that tells recruiters that your resume is worth reading.

Here’s what needs to go into your personal statement…

Before you start writing your personal statement, it’s crucial that you research your target roles to find out exactly what your new potential employers are looking for in a candidate.

Run a search for your target jobs on one of the major job websites, look through plenty of adverts and make a list of the candidate requirements that frequently appear.

This research will show you exactly what to include in your personal statement in order to impress the recruiters who will be reading it.

Education and qualifications are an important aspect of your personal statement, especially if you are a junior candidate.

You should highlight your highest and most relevant qualifications, whether that is a degree or your GED. You could potentially go into some more detail around modules, papers etc. if they are relevant to the roles you are applying for.

It’s important that you discuss the experience you have gained in your personal statement, to give readers an idea of the work you are comfortable undertaking.

This can of course be direct employed work experience, but it doesn’t have to be.

You can also include:

• High school/college work placements
• Voluntary work
• Personal projects
• Hobbies/interests

As with all aspects of your resume , the content should be tailored to match the requirements of your target roles.

Whilst discussing your experience, you should touch upon skills used, industries worked in, types of companies worked for, and people you have worked with.

Where possible, try to show the impact your actions have made. E.g.  A customer service agent helps to make sales for their employer.

Any industry-specific knowledge you have that will be useful to your new potential employers should be made prominent within your personal statement.

For example

• Knowledge of financial regulations will be important for accountancy roles
• Knowledge of IT operating systems will be important for IT roles
• Knowledge of the national curriculum will be important for teachers

You should also include some information about the types of roles you are applying for, and why you are doing so. Try to show your interest and passion for the field you are hoping to enter, because employers want to hire people who have genuine motivation and drive in their work.

This is especially true if you don’t have much work experience, as you need something else to compensate for it.

Resume personal statement mistakes

The things that you omit from your personal statement can be just as important as the things you include.

Try to keep the following out of your personal statement..

Irrelevant info

Any information that doesn’t fall into the requirements of your target roles can be cut out of your personal statement. For example, if you were a professional athlete 6 years ago, that’s great – but it won’t be relevant if you’re applying to advertising internships, so leave it out.

Generic clichés

If you are describing yourself as a “ dynamic team player with high levels of motivation and enthusiasm” you aren’t doing yourself any favours.

These cliché terms are vastly overused and don’t provide readers with any factual details about you – so keep them to a minimum.

Stick to solid facts like education, skills , experience, achievements and knowledge.

If you really want to ensure that your personal statement makes a big impact, you need to write in a persuasive manner.

So, how do you so this?

Well, you need to brag a little – but not too much

It’s about selling yourself and appearing confident, without overstepping the mark and appearing arrogant.

For example, instead of writing.

“Marketing graduate with an interest in entering the digital field”

Be creative and excite the reader by livening the sentence up like this,

“Marketing graduate with highest exam results in class and a passion for embarking on a long and successful career within digital”

The second sentence is a much more interesting, makes the candidate appear more confident, throws in some achievements, and shows off a wider range of writing skills.

Quick tip: A poorly written resume will fail to impress recruiters and employers. Use our quick-and-easy Resume Builder to create a winning resume in minutes with professional templates and pre-written content for every industry.

Your own personal statement will be totally unique to yourself, but by using the above guidelines you will be able to create one which shows recruiters everything they need.

Remember to keep the length between 10-20 lines and only include the most relevant information for your target roles.

You can also check our college graduate resume example , our best resume templates , or our library of example resumes from all industries.

Good luck with the job hunt!

• Pharmacist Independent Prescriber Course
• Minor Illnesses And Acute Conditions Course
• Setting Up A Private Clinic

How to Write a Personal Statement for a Non-Medical Prescribing Course

• Independent Prescribing Course
• How to Write a Personal…

Table of Contents

Introduction

Prerequisites for the Course

Personal Statement Overview

Paragraph 1: Introduction and Context

Paragraph 2: Motivation

Paragraph 3: Your Experience

Paragraph 4: Scope of Practice

Paragraph 5: Key Skills for Prescribers

Paragraph 6: Conclusion

Tips for Writing Your Personal Statement

Writing a personal statement is a crucial step in applying for a Non-Medical Prescribing (NMP) course. This guide will help you craft a compelling personal statement that highlights your qualifications, experience, and motivation for becoming a prescriber.

Before you begin writing your personal statement, ensure you meet the following requirements:

• You must be a qualified healthcare professional eligible for the course (e.g., pharmacist, nurse).
• You need access to a Designated Prescribing Practitioner (DPP) . For nurses, you also need a Designated Prescribing Supervisor (DPS).

If you’re struggling to find a DPP or DPS, consider reaching out to professional networks or organizations that can assist in matching you with an appropriate mentor.

Your personal statement should:

• Be between 300 to 500 words long
• Include your scope of practice
• Link to relevant healthcare policies
• Demonstrate your readiness for the course

Remember, universities receive many applications, so it’s essential to make your statement stand out.

Structure of the Personal Statement

Start by addressing the current healthcare landscape:

• Mention the shortage of GPs and the NHS crisis
• Discuss how pharmacists or nurses are positioned to help
• Reference the NHS Long Term Plan or Workforce Strategy

Example: “With the current shortage of GPs and increasing NHS waiting times, pharmacists are uniquely positioned to assist in addressing the healthcare crisis. This aligns with the NHS Long Term Plan, which emphasizes the importance of expanding the roles of non-medical prescribers.”

Explain why you want to undertake the prescribing course:

• Discuss your desire to uplift your profession
• Mention job satisfaction and patient care
• Align your goals with the NHS vision

Example: “My motivation for pursuing this prescribing course stems from a desire to enhance patient care and contribute more significantly to my profession. By expanding my skill set, I aim to improve job satisfaction while aligning my career with the NHS vision of providing accessible, high-quality healthcare.”

Detail your relevant professional experience:

• Describe your current role and responsibilities
• Highlight how your experience has developed your skills
• Focus on communication, examination, and diagnostic skills

Example: “As a community pharmacist for the past five years, I’ve honed my communication and diagnostic skills through daily patient interactions. I regularly conduct medication reviews, offer lifestyle advice, and make referrals when necessary, all of which have prepared me for the increased responsibilities of a prescriber.”

Introduce and explain your chosen scope of practice:

• Specify the area you want to develop (e.g., respiratory conditions)
• Describe your current experience in this area
• Explain how you currently diagnose, manage, and treat within this scope
• Demonstrate your ability to differentiate between related conditions

Example: “I aim to develop my prescribing practice in respiratory conditions. Currently, I frequently encounter patients with respiratory issues in my pharmacy. I take detailed histories, perform basic examinations, and differentiate between conditions such as asthma, COPD, and respiratory infections. For instance, when a patient presents with a cough, I consider various possibilities including bronchitis, pneumonia, or even pulmonary embolism, referring or treating as appropriate.”

Discuss the essential skills for prescribers and how you possess them:

• Effective communication
• Reflective practice
• Critical analysis
• Evidence-based decision making
• Adherence to GPHC and RPS frameworks

Example: “I recognize that effective prescribers must possess strong communication skills, practice regular reflection, and engage in critical analysis of evidence. My experience has honed these skills, and I am committed to practicing in line with the GPHC standards and the RPS Competency Framework for Prescribers.”

Wrap up your statement by:

• Expressing your interest in the specific university
• Summarizing why you’re a strong candidate for the course

Example: “I am excited about the opportunity to join [University Name]’s prescribing course, known for its excellent reputation in pharmacy education. With my experience, skills, and dedication to improving patient care, I believe I am well-prepared to undertake this challenge and contribute positively to the prescribing community.”

• Be concise and clear in your writing.
• Use specific examples to illustrate your points.
• Proofread carefully for grammar and spelling errors.
• Tailor your statement to the specific university and course.
• Be honest and authentic in your expression.
• Demonstrate your understanding of the responsibilities of a prescriber.

Writing a strong personal statement is crucial for your application to a Non-Medical Prescribing course. By following this structure and including relevant details about your experience, motivation, and understanding of the role, you can create a compelling case for your admission. Remember to showcase your unique qualities and commitment to patient care throughout your statement.

Author:  Faheem Ahmed

Pharmacist Prescriber, 2x Award-Winning Pharmacist, Pharmacy and Clinic Owner, Founder of MEDLRN and loves sharing his experience with pharmacists.

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How to Write a Goal Statement (with Examples)

Sudarshan Somanathan

Head of Content

September 1, 2024

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If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.

Knock, knock! Quickly checking in—what was the name of the business book you planned to start this weekend? Or the graduate school application you promised to write this month? Or that personal essay you wanted to publish on Medium?

If you’re struggling to recall, you’re not alone because constant distractions in our personal and professional life, like doomscrolling on social media platforms, can easily derail us from our goals and priorities.

Recent research found that employees who set goals are 14 times more likely to feel inspired at work. That’s not all. Writing goal statements also leads to a 90% boost in performance and persistence​.

This highlights the power of goal-setting, goal-tracking, and self-accountability in reaching your objectives. It also reinforces the age-old wisdom: reading, writing, and consistent reflection on our goals are key to building habits and staying on track. 

So, let’s dive directly into how you can construct effective goal statements and make those goals a reality. 🎯

The relevance of goal statements in personal and professional life

The importance of a career goal statement, the role of goal setting in crafting an effective goal statement, using the smart method to create goal statements, tips for writing a goal statement, implementation, effective business goal statements, effective personal goal statements, periodically tracking and updating your goal statement, learning from successful real-world examples, being flexible and adaptable with your goal statement.

What Is a Goal Statement?

A goal statement is a concise outline of your goal or goals for the future, including your vision, mission, and values.

You can use a goal or mission statement for various purposes—like career objectives, personal development, and even long-term life planning. 

A professional goal statement not only outlines your career direction but also acts as a personal development blueprint. It breaks down the steps needed to achieve your strategic objectives, ensuring steady progress toward your aspirations. 

More importantly, it gives clarity and purpose to your actions, keeping you aligned with your future ambitions and enabling personal growth along the way. A strong goal statement points you in the right direction, but more than that, it gives you a clear path forward, whether you’re aiming for a promotion, switching careers, or picking up new skills. 

It acts as a roadmap, breaking down the steps you need to take while keeping you accountable along the way. A personal statement can consistently remind you of what you’re working toward and fuel your motivation to stay committed until you achieve your desired result.

The influential self-development expert, Brian Tracy, said in an interview :

I always say there are two things to be successful. The first is to decide exactly what you want–set your goals–and then determine how you will achieve them (what skills you will have to learn, what actions will you have to take). And these are totally under your control. These are not dependent upon anyone else.

Thus, goal statements prove to be invaluable in personal and professional life.

In your career, they help you with:

• Clarity and focus: Goal statements help you prioritize key milestones for career growth and avoid irrelevant pursuits
• Measurement and accountability: Goal statements enable you to track progress and maintain accountability
• Company and team alignment: Goal statements ensure your personal goals align with your team’s and company’s vision

When it comes to your personal life, goal statements can help with:

• Motivation: Goals can keep you motivated, especially when things get tough. They give you concrete timelines that make you feel more accountable and often more in control
• Decision-making: Goals guide your decisions, making it easier to choose actions that lead to desired outcomes
• Personal growth: Setting goals encourages you to keep improving and developing yourself. Most personal goal statements involve physical and mental betterment

Setting up an actionable objective is the first step in achieving success. 

According to research, employees in goal-oriented organizations are about 7 times more likely to feel proud of their workplace and just as likely to recommend it as a great place to work. 

Writing down your goals turns them into something tangible, making them easier to focus on and achieve. Here are some solid reasons as to why a goal statement is essential when it comes to your career:

• Responsibility: Writing down your goal makes you accountable and gives you an extra push to stay true to it
• Clarity and direction: A clear goal statement defines your path and the next actionable steps
• Timeline and progress: Professional goals with timelines help you plan your actions and track progress
• Motivation: Outlining your goals keeps you motivated by acting as a long-term to-do list

How to Write a Goal Statement 

Simply thinking about your goals isn’t enough to achieve them. To increase your chances of success, it’s important to write down your goal statements and, if you can, share your progress with people you trust.

Before you begin writing your first goal statement, understand that the key is to outline exactly what you want to accomplish, how you plan to do it, and what the timeline for it is.

Begin by clearly defining your goal, including what you want to achieve, the timeframe for completion, and the steps needed to reach it. 

Make sure your goal answers these essential questions:

What do you want to accomplish?

When do you want to accomplish it?

How will you make it happen?

A well-defined goal should provide clear direction, a realistic timeline, and a practical action plan.

Here’s how you can prioritize your goals and determine where to focus your energy when you’re setting a career objective. Start by asking yourself these key questions:

• Values: What values do you want to uphold in your career? (Ensure your goals align with your core principles and ethics)
• Your definition of success: How do you define success in the workplace? (Tailor your goals to match your personal vision of achievement)
• Your financial goals: What are your financial aspirations? (Set goals that support your desired financial future)
• Ideal work environment: What does an ideal work environment look like to you? (Create goals that foster a setting where you can thrive)
• Educational advancement: What additional degrees or certifications could help you excel in your field? (Identify educational goals to enhance your expertise)
• Work-life balance: How do you envision a healthy work-life balance? (Ensure your goals support a fulfilling life both inside and outside of work)
• Leadership ambitions: Are you interested in pursuing leadership positions? (Guide your career goals toward roles that match your aspirations)
• Strengths: What strengths do you bring to your work, and how can you leverage them? (Set goals that capitalize on your unique abilities)
• Entrepreneurial ambitions: Do you aspire to start your own company in the future? (Align your current goals with your long-term entrepreneurial ambitions)
• Seeking challenges: Are you keen on taking on more challenging roles in your workplace? (Set goals that push you toward growth and new opportunities)

To craft personal goal statements that foster your vision of personal enrichment, here are some guiding questions to consider:

• What kind of lifestyle do you aspire to have? (Set goals that drive you toward fulfilling your dreams and ambitions)
• What are your hobbies and interests, and how can you incorporate them into your life? (Align your personal goals with activities you genuinely love)
• What kind of impact do you want to make on your community? (Direct your goals toward contributing to the greater good of society)
• What steps can you take to improve your physical and mental health? (Ensure your goals keep you in prime condition)
• What can you do to nurture and improve your relationships? (Set goals that deepen your family connections and personal relationships rather than detract from them)

Answering these questions will help you determine the ‘What’ aspect of your personal goal statement. Remember to keep your responses focused, clear, and direct. Here, ClickUp can support you with its array of features. Let’s explore them as we go along.

ClickUp Docs

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by all these questions, ClickUp Docs can help you organize your thoughts and draft clear goal statements.

Start by opening a new ClickUp Doc and jot down your goals. With ClickUp Docs, you can create detailed, customizable documents to outline your career path, set timelines, and align tasks with your objectives. 

Once your draft is ready, you can share the document with trusted friends and mentors for feedback, so they can comment directly within the doc. This feature keeps everything organized and ensures your goals are clearly defined and actionable.

Next, let’s address the ‘How’ and ‘When’ by applying the SMART method. This step requires in-depth research into what’s needed to achieve your SMART goals by creating achievable and measurable objectives .

Using the SMART framework helps clarify your goals, track progress, ensure feasibility, and monitor achievement within a set timeframe.

Here’s how SMART goals are set:

• Specific: Define your goal clearly and precisely
• Measurable: Ensure your goal has quantifiable criteria for tracking progress
• Achievable: Set a realistic goal that is attainable given your resources and constraints
• Relevant: Align your goal with your broader objectives and values
• Time-bound: Assign a deadline to create urgency and focus

💡 Example: If you’re aiming for a promotion that requires certifications, research the necessary courses, understand the time commitment, and plan your timeline accordingly. This approach ensures your goals are realistic and grounded in actionable steps.

It can be challenging to juggle all the elements of goal-setting while also creating realistic, relevant goals. That’s where ClickUp’s SMART Goals template comes in. 

ClickUp SMART Goals template

ClickUp’s SMART Goals template simplifies the process by helping you break down large objectives into manageable steps, track your progress, and stay motivated.

Here’s what ClickUp’s SMART Goals template offers:

• Enables progress tracking and success measurement
• Keeps you focused and motivated on long-term goals
• Identifies and addresses potential roadblocks efficiently

In addition to the strategies mentioned, here are some extra tips to help you craft a strong personal or career goal statement:

Tips & tricks

Review it regularly: Regularly review and adjust your goals as needed to reflect progress and changes

Set a timeline: Create a timeline with milestones for both short-term and long-term goals to stay motivated and on track

Request feedback: Share your goals with trusted individuals for honest feedback on your timeline and goal achievement, increasing your accountability

⚡ Template Archive: Need more SMART goal templates that can help you define and achieve your goals efficiently? Check out our library of free SMART goal templates that are easy to use, adaptable, and seamless to track and update.

Writing your goal statements is just the beginning; implementing them is where the real work begins. Break down your career goals into smaller, actionable steps. 

💡 Example: If you aim to land a leadership role, start by taking on smaller team projects to build your management skills. Prioritize these steps and establish a timeline.

Track your progress regularly and adjust as needed. Share your goals with a mentor or colleague for accountability and feedback. Celebrate small victories, like completing a course or receiving positive feedback, to stay motivated.

A flexible system is essential for successful goal implementation, and ClickUp Goals can help you effortlessly track, edit, and adjust your goals.

ClickUp Goals

ClickUp Goals is a powerful tool for creating, tracking, adjusting, and setting project goals or personal goals with ease. It offers flexible goal-setting with customizable targets, deadlines, and tracking methods tailored to fit your needs, making it easier to stay on track and achieve success.

You can break down larger goals into manageable milestones, ensuring steady progress. Visual tools like charts and progress bars help you monitor your progress, keeping you and your team motivated. 

Collaboration is also enhanced by sharing goals with your team, aligning efforts, and exchanging valuable feedback. 

Additionally, ClickUp Goals ensures that individual goals align with broader company objectives by grouping them into folders. It also automatically updates progress based on task completion, keeping everything up to date.

Examples of Personal and Business Goal Statements

Now that we understand the theory behind writing effective career goal statements, let’s explore some practical short and long-goal examples to inspire your personal and business goals.

Business goal statements can be complex, as they require detailed planning to outline your career objectives and the steps to achieve them. Professional goal statements may range from ongoing tasks to a specific one-time project.

A well-defined business or professional goal statement serves as both—a motivation booster and a roadmap for your career. It also enhances your resume by highlighting your career direction, aspirations, and self-awareness to potential employers.

Examples of effective business goal statements

An effective professional goal statement is clear, specific, and measurable. It provides clarity on what you want to achieve, how you’ll achieve it, and by when you expect to attain it. 

Here’s an example: Increase market share in North America by 20% by the end of Q4 2025 through increased ad campaign spending and sales team training

This professional goal statement is precise and quantifiable and includes all key elements: the desired outcome, location, strategy, and timeline.

Other examples include:

• Improve customer retention by 15% by Q2 2024 by enhancing product quality through a comprehensive competitive benchmarking exercise

This goal is focused and measurable, with a clear method for achieving the target.

• Secure a promotion to Senior Vice President by the end of 2026 by exceeding targets and demonstrating strong managerial skills

This goal follows the SMART framework, outlining a clear path for career advancement.

For organizational goals, it’s crucial to have tools like ClickUp Goals or OKR Templates to track and monitor progress across the company, department, and team levels.

By crafting clear and actionable goal statements, you set yourself and your business up for success, ensuring every objective is aligned with a strategic plan and has a defined timeline for achievement. 

ClickUp Company OKRs and Goals template

ClickUp’s Company OKRs and Goals template is a powerful tool for aligning your team with your company’s vision and values. 

It simplifies the process of setting and tracking objectives, standardizes performance measurement, and ensures that individual goals support your organization’s overall objectives. 

By maintaining alignment and cohesion, this template not only streamlines goal management but also boosts team morale and productivity.

Here’s what the ClickUp’s Company OKRs and Goals template offers:

• Create and track objectives to maintain focus and direction
• Identify and prioritize goals for maximum impact and efficient resource allocation
• Ensure all team members are aligned around shared objectives, boosting collaboration and coherence
• Monitor progress and measure performance concisely
• Improve team motivation and morale by clearly defining and tracking success
• Facilitate better communication and understanding across teams

⚡ Template Archive: Looking for more goal-setting templates to ensure you’re on the right track? Check out these free goal-setting and tracking templates that will level up your goal-setting strategy .

While we’ve focused on career goals, achieving them is near impossible without taking care of your personal well-being. 

Personal goals reflect who you are, what you want, and where you’re headed. Not only do they guide your journey, but they also make a strong impression on potential employers or educational institutions.

Balance your goals by focusing on areas such as relationships, physical health, spirituality, and personal growth to prevent burnout and boost overall satisfaction. 

Use goal-tracking apps to organize and prioritize your goals effectively. Set reminders, break down larger goals into smaller tasks, and regularly review your progress to stay on track and maintain a healthy work-life balance.

Examples of effective personal goal statements

When crafting personal goal statements, it’s essential to be specific about what you want to achieve, how you’ll achieve it, and the timeframe for completion. 

Here are some examples that follow the What, How, and When structure:

Reconnect with old friends: before the end of the month, schedule a coffee date with a friend you haven’t seen enough of lately

Learn Spanish: Dedicate 30 minutes daily to language lessons for 6 months to be at least semi-fluent by next summer

Complete a 10K run: Follow a 12-week structured training plan to boost fitness and mental resilience

These examples illustrate how clear, actionable personal statements of goals can lead to tangible outcomes, whether they involve personal enrichment, health, or career development.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, French writer and pilot said, “A goal without a plan is just a wish.”

Best Practices for Implementing Goal Statements

Now that you’ve written down your goals, it’s time to turn them into reality. 

Here’s how to make it happen:

Track and update your goals regularly to keep them aligned with your growth. Goals should be as dynamic and evolving as you are. Don’t let them collect dust—instead, review and adjust them consistently. 

Consider using goal-setting software to set reminders, track progress, and make adjustments so that your goals remain relevant and attainable as you evolve. When you achieve a goal or hit a milestone, take a moment to celebrate your success. Recognizing your progress keeps you motivated and reinforces positive behavior.

And if you miss a deadline or fall short, don’t be too hard on yourself. Instead, analyze what went wrong, learn from it, and adjust your approach to avoid repeating the same mistakes. 

By staying engaged with your goals and adapting as needed, you can ensure continuous progress and maintain the momentum needed to achieve them.

Real-world success stories offer valuable lessons and inspiration. For example, Elon Musk’s approach to goal-setting is a powerful model. 

His goal with SpaceX is to colonize Mars, and with Tesla, it’s to drive the world toward sustainable energy. What sets Musk apart is his ability to break these enormous goals into manageable steps, steadily working toward each milestone.

This shows the importance of setting bold goals while maintaining a practical, step-by-step approach. But you don’t have to look only at famous figures. You can also learn from those around you, like mentors or family members. 

Observe their strategies, seek guidance, and apply those habits to your journey. Their experiences can provide valuable insights to help you reach your goals more effectively.

If your original plan no longer feels right, don’t hesitate to adjust your goals, resources, or timeline. Flexibility is key to staying on track. Regularly reassess your goals to ensure they still align with your current situation and aspirations. 

Embrace changes as opportunities for growth. Sometimes, a shift in direction can lead to better outcomes than you initially imagined. Stay open to new possibilities and be ready to pivot when necessary. 

This adaptability will help you navigate challenges and seize opportunities as they arise.

Create Goals and Achieve Them with ClickUp

Personal and career goals are crucial for success—they outline your path, keep you motivated, and showcase your potential to employers. 

But with a busy life, managing these goals can be challenging. That’s where ClickUp steps in.

With multiple goal creation, sharing, review, and execution features and a variety of goal-oriented templates, it does all the heavy lifting for you, so you have more time to achieve your goals and dream big. 

Sign up for free today and start turning your aspirations into reality, one goal at a time!

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How to write the “About Me” section in a Resume? (11+ examples)

Published on September 2nd, 2024

While building your resume, the "About Me" section in a resume is that golden opportunity to showcase who you uniquely and professionally are. It is in this section that you get to tell them who you are beyond titles and skills. But how do you know this section hits the mark? Let's dive into some tips and examples to help you write an "About Me" section worth reading.

Why is the “About Me” Section Important?

Your "About Me" section is the elevator pitch of your resume. This is the summary of your professional journey, your skills, and the value you can bring to the table. If it's done correctly, it will grasp the recruiter's attention and set the tone for the remainder of your resume.

Tips for Writing an Engaging “About Me” Section

• Keep it short: Your "About Me" section is supposed to summarize, not be a biography. Try to keep it within 3-4 sentences that highlight your career and what sets you apart.
• Be real: This is your opportunity to shine as you. Stay away from jargon and clichés and get to the root of what makes you different from every other candidate out there.
• Personalize it for the Job:  Tailor-make your "About Me" section for each application. Highlight those skills and experiences that best fit the job you are applying for.
• Achievements: Just listing your responsibilities isn't saying enough; show how well you can do it. Mention significant achievements or milestones that prove the impact.
• Industry Keywords:  Sprinkle relevant industry keywords naturally in your "About Me" section. It will not only help with the ATS but also do wonders for the human reader.
• Enthusiasm: Convey that you are very excited to be hired because you love the work involved in the field.

What to Put in the “About Me” Section of a Resume?

Knowing what to put in the “About Me” section of a resume can be challenging, but it's important to strike the right balance between professionalism and personality. Here are some key elements you should consider including:

Professional Summary: In the resume summary, write a small introduction about yourself regarding your designation, experience, and key skills. This gives the reader a snapshot of your professional background quickly.

Core Skills:  List some of the most important skills that you master for the job you are applying for. These would range from technical expertise to soft skills such as leadership or effective communication.

Career Achievements:  Highlight some of the greatest accomplishments or milestones of your career. This will go a long way to show the impacts you have brought to previous roles and can further enhance your profile.

Personal Traits:  While it’s important to focus on professional attributes, including a few personal traits can help humanize your resume. For example, you might mention your enthusiasm for problem-solving, creativity, or passion for continuous learning.

Career Goals:  If space permits, briefly mention your career goals or what you’re looking for in your next role. This can show potential employers that you’re thoughtful about your career trajectory and how their role fits into your plans.

11+ Resume About Me Examples

For a Marketing Professional:  

Passionate marketing strategist with over 5 years of experience in developing data-driven campaigns that drive brand awareness and sales growth. Skilled in social media management, content creation, and analytics.

For a Software Engineer:  

Innovative software engineer with 7+ years of experience in full-stack development. Adept at solving complex problems and building scalable applications that improve user experience.

For a Graphic Designer:  

Creative graphic designer with a knack for visual storytelling. Expert in Adobe Creative Suite with a proven track record of delivering compelling designs that captivate audiences.

For a Human Resources Specialist:  

Experienced HR professional with a passion for fostering a positive work environment. Specializes in talent acquisition, employee relations, and implementing effective HR policies.

For a Sales Manager:  

Results-driven sales manager with a decade of experience in leading high-performing teams. Adept at crafting strategies that boost sales and enhance customer satisfaction.

For an Accountant:  

Detail-oriented accountant with a strong background in financial reporting and analysis. Committed to delivering accurate and timely financial information to support business decisions.

For a Content Writer:  

Versatile content writer with a flair for crafting engaging copy across various platforms. Specializes in SEO content that drives traffic and enhances brand visibility.

For a Project Manager:  

Seasoned project manager with a proven ability to lead cross-functional teams and deliver projects on time and within budget. Skilled in Agile methodologies and risk management.

For a Data Analyst:  

A data-driven analyst with a passion for uncovering insights from complex datasets. Proficient in SQL, Python, and data visualization tools to support strategic decision-making.

For a Customer Service Representative:  

Dedicated customer service professional with a strong focus on customer satisfaction. Experienced in resolving issues efficiently and building long-term customer relationships.

For a Teacher:  

A passionate educator with over 8 years of experience in creating engaging learning environments. Committed to fostering student growth through innovative teaching methods.

How HireQuotient AI Resume Builder Help In Creating an About Me Section?

The HireQuotient AI Resume Builder simplifies creating the "About Me" section by generating personalized, keyword-optimized summaries. It analyzes your skills, experience, and achievements to craft a compelling and concise profile, ensuring you make a strong first impression on potential employers. The tool tailors the content to match the job description, enhancing your chances of standing out in the hiring process.

Ready to create a standout 'About Me' section effortlessly? Give AI Resume Builder a try – visit now and craft your perfect resume in minutes!

Instead, the "About Me" section is not just a resume filler, but it's your ticket to making a lasting impression. Whether you're a seasoned pro or fresh off the career boat, a well-crafted "About Me" section can make all the difference. Keep in mind to keep it short, real, and relevant for the job one applying for. With these few tips and examples, you're off to a great start in writing that "About Me" section, representing yourself with the real deal of what you bring to the table.

By following these guidelines, you’ll ensure your “About Me” section is not only engaging but also optimized with the keyword "About me" naturally integrated throughout the content. Good luck!

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you introduce yourself in a resume?

The first words of your professional introduction should include your name, job title, and employer.

What is a good line about me for a resume?

A strong line should summarize your professional identity and key skills. Example:  “Results-driven project manager with 7+ years of experience leading successful teams and projects.”

How do I write about me?

Summarize your career highlights, skills, and unique qualities in a concise, engaging way relevant to the job.

How do I tell about myself?

Briefly cover your professional background, key skills, and personality traits that align with the role you’re applying for.

How to write a personal profile?

Write a short, focused summary of your career goals, skills, and accomplishments that align with the job and capture attention.

Soujanya Varada

As a technical content writer and social media strategist, Soujanya develops and manages strategies at HireQuotient. With strong technical background and years of experience in content management, she looks for opportunities to flourish in the digital space. Soujanya is also a dance fanatic and believes in spreading light!

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Department of Economics

• Undergraduate

How to Write a Cover Letter That Sounds Like You (and Gets Noticed)

by  Elainy Mata

May 10, 2022

I hate cover letters. They add so much stress to the already uncomfortable and grueling job hunt. Every time I’m writing one, I find myself wondering: Do people even read these?

Unfortunately, the answer is “yes.” But, there are some ways to make the process a little less terrible. I asked Amy Gallo, Harvard Business Review editor and author of “ How to Write a Cover Letter ,” for her advice. From doing the research, to starting off strong, to emphasizing your value — Gallo taught me exactly what I need to do to get my cover letters noticed by hiring managers. I even wrote a new cover letter that has her blessing. (Scroll down if you’re in need of an expert-approved example.)

Subscribe to  HBR Ascend on YouTube  for more videos on work, life, and everything in between.

Transcript 

ELAINY MATA: So you want to know how to tackle the cover letter. I do too. I actually really hate cover letters. I hate cover letters. I hate cover letters.

But the cover letter is important. It’s time to face our fears, and just figure out how in the world we are actually going to write it.

I got you, and we’re going to do this together. These tips are going to help you go through the process a lot easier. So if you are ready to tackle the cover letter, stick around and keep watching.

In front of me right now are three cover letters that I’ve written in the past, for three different jobs. And I’m just embarrassed. I’m embarrassed to read these.

To whom it may concern, to whom it may concern, to whom it may concern.

I would like to respectfully submit this cover letter.   I would like to respectfully submit this cover letter.

I am a passionate, detail-oriented person. I am passionate, detail-oriented person.

This sounds like I’m — this doesn’t sound like me at all. I think you want me to talk this way. Here we go like. Hire me.

I talked to Amy Gallo, an HBR editor, and the author of one of our most popular articles, “How to Write a Cover Letter.”

AMY GALLO: First of all, you’re not alone. I write about how to write cover letters, and I also hate them.

ELAINY MATA: She’s done the research. She’s talked to the experts. And I’m going to tell you exactly what she told me.

Make it one page

ELAINY MATA: So how long does a cover letter actually have to be? Just one page, one.

AMY GALLO: Don’t play with the font, and make it like eight point font, and like make your margins really wide. Just really figure out what is the most essential things that need to go on one page.

Do research, find a name

ELAINY MATA: This should be a no-brainer, but let’s get specific. Let’s say you’re applying for a job here, at Harvard Business Review. Go on the company’s website, go to their “About Us” section, and read what they’re about, see their mission statement, see their tone, see what that company is actually looking for, and what they stand for.

So you’ve got the broad stuff, but let’s dig a little bit deeper. What is the company that you’re applying for talking about now? You should actually go into their LinkedIn, their Twitter, see what they’re sharing, see who are they’re talking to, see what they’re talking about, so you can get a sense of what is currently happening. Lastly, find that hiring manager. It is so much better to address your cover letter to an actual person and a name rather than, to whom it may concern. So I have to kind of creep a little bit, and be like a private investigator.

AMY GALLO: Yeah, creeping is definitely part of the process. Usually, with LinkedIn, you can see who’s posted the job, who is sharing it with their network. You may not know for sure that that’s the hiring manager, but at least it’s a little more personable. Sometimes, I’ve heard people just reach out and say, “Who’s the hiring manager for this job? I’d like to address my cover letter to that person.”

Start strong

ELAINY MATA: You’ve probably written this 100 times before. “Hi, my name is this. I’m based here, and I’m applying for this job.” No, no, no, no, don’t do that. The hiring manager has a stack of cover letters. So you have to write yours to grab their attention. Amy, can you please give me an example of a strong, bold, opening line for cover letter. I promise I won’t steal it.

AMY GALLO: You’re allowed to steal it. Anyone should be able to steal it:

“I saw your listing on this website, and I was thrilled to see it, because it’s exactly the kind of job I’ve been looking for to apply my skills in X.”

Write something that’s short, to the point, but shows both enthusiasm, as well as experience that’s relevant to the job.

Emphasize your value

ELAINY MATA: Figure out what problem the company is facing. They’re hiring for a reason. Figure out what that reason is, and how you can best solve that problem. Amy also found the top two qualities that people generally look for is adaptability, and the ability to learn quickly.

How about if I just got out of college, and I’m looking at these jobs that are asking for three to five years or more of experience. How can I write a cover letter if I feel like I don’t have enough to write about?

AMY GALLO: Yeah, so that’s a good question, because the cover letter shouldn’t be focused so much on the past. That’s the resume’s job. The cover letter is really about the future. So how are you going to take what’s in that resume, your past, and apply it to where you’re going.

Convey enthusiasm, not desperation

ELAINY MATA: This is really hard to balance. You want to show them that you’re excited to work there, and that you’re going to bring a lot of energy to the team. But don’t be too strong, because over eagerness can actually work against you.

Find a proofreader

AMY GALLO: Write the letter you want to write. Then share it with someone else, someone who knows you well, but someone who also will tell you like it is. We’re not good judges of our own writing.

ELAINY MATA: So getting a second pair of eyes will help you look for any errors, typos, and most importantly, they can tell you if you make sense.

Amy, this sounds like a lot. Is there even like a sort of a shortcut to this, or a sort of scalable way that I can do this for multiple different jobs?

AMY GALLO: I mean, you’ve probably heard the phrase looking for a job is a full-time job. It does take a lot of time. You’re tweaking some things. You’re not writing a whole new letter. So you’re going to have a template. Write your best cover letter for the first job you apply for. Share that with your friend to check the tone. Do the research on the company, right? Do that the first time. Then and adjust the cover letter accordingly. Does that seem more reasonable?

ELAINY MATA: Yes, much more reasonable.

So my task is to apply for a job here at HBR, and to write a new cover letter using the advice that Amy gave me. Let’s do it.

This is hard. I never said it was going to be easy, maybe easier than what you were doing before, but definitely not easy.

The first draft

Dear Maureen and hiring team,

I saw your listing on Linkedln and am excited because this is exactly the job that I’ve been looking for to showcase my skills in video production and production management to assist the creative center in producing compelling content.

Working in news and movie production has taught me to hear an idea and a concept and be able to fully plan out the logistics needed to make the desired final visual product. I have been able to work with software like Adobe Creative Suite and TriCaster, and have worked with other team members to write scripts and compose story boards.

Being part of the Creative Center team will give me the challenges to grow as a skilled producer and assist in production, help the production planning process, create a quick tum around for video publication, and manage content.

AMY GALLO: You did well on length. It is very short. That’s good.

ELAINY MATA: My gosh.

AMY GALLO: I read this, I’m like, that first sentence is spot on. And then it gets a little bit stilted. And then it goes into what’s probably on your resume. And I want a little more personality.

The final draft

ELAINY MATA: So Amy, after many back and forths — How do you think I did?

AMY GALLO: All right. So I’m looking at it right now. And I think you did a really good job.

You’ve got the main components here. There’s some personality in it. There’s some flattery in it about the company you’re applying to, but it’s not like over the top. I have to tell you, I would have you in. I think it’s a great letter.

ELAINY MATA: That’s it for me. I wrote the cover letter. You got to see the whole process. And I feel like I definitely have a better outlook on how to approach it. These are not easy to write, so good luck out there. Watch as many times as you can. Practice makes perfect. I’ll see you soon.

Cover letter example 

I was so excited to see your post on LinkedIn because it’s exactly the type of job I’m looking for: an opportunity to bring my experience with video production and enthusiasm for storytelling to an organization that sets the standard for high-quality management content.

In addition to five years of experience in broadcast journalism, research, and video production, I would bring an organized and systems-level perspective to this role. I view video production as a puzzle, and like to think about which parts need to come together in order to make a great final product. My approach is to have in-depth conversations with my team members, and the various stakeholders, before each project. This helps me nail down the logistics — from location to talent.

From there, the fun begins: fleshing out the concept and identifying what visuals will best represent it. Ideation and storyboarding are essential in this step. I know I’m not right all the time, so I enjoy working with a diverse team that can bring in new perspectives, brainstorm, and pitch ideas that will make the final product stronger. Whenever possible, I also try to seek out other sources for inspiration, like magazines, which allow me to observe different ways of expression and storytelling. This approach has served me well. It’s what has allowed me to enter the film industry and grow as a creator.

On my website, you can see examples of how I use the above process to create fun, engaging content.

Given this experience and my enthusiasm for the work you do, I believe I’d make a great addition to your team. I recently had a chance to try out your Patient Zero product at my current organization. The simulation is both challenging and engaging. I was impressed by your ability to apply  different storytelling methods to an online training course (which, let’s admit, can often be a little dry). Your work exemplifies exactly what I believe: There’s an opportunity to tell a compelling story in everything — all you have to do is deliver it right.

I’d love to come in and speak with you more about what I’d be able to offer in this role. Harvard Business Publishing is my top choice and I believe I’d make valuable contributions to your team.

Thank you for your time and consideration!