what are the characteristics of a personal essay

What Is a Personal Essay (Personal Statement)?

Glossary of Grammatical and Rhetorical Terms

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• M.A., Modern English and American Literature, University of Leicester
• B.A., English, State University of New York

A personal essay is a short work of autobiographical nonfiction characterized by a sense of intimacy and a conversational manner. Also called a personal statement . 

A type of creative nonfiction , the personal essay is "all over the map," according to Annie Dillard. "There's nothing you can't do with it. No subject matter is forbidden, no structure is prescribed. You get to make up your own form every time." ("To Fashion a Text," 1998) .

Examples of Personal Essays

• An Apology for Idlers , by Robert Louis Stevenson
• On Laziness , by Christopher Morley
• Coney Island at Night, by James Huneker
• New Year's Eve , by Charles Lamb
• How It Feels to Be Colored Me , by Zora Neale Hurston
• My Wood, by E.M. Forster
• Two Ways of Seeing a River , by Mark Twain
• What I Think and Feel at 25, by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Observations

• The personal essay is one of the most common types of writing assignment--and not only in freshman composition courses. Many employers, as well as graduate and professional schools, will ask you to submit a personal essay (sometimes called a personal statement ) before even considering you for an interview. Being able to compose a coherent version of yourself in words is clearly an important skill.
• What qualities does a personal essay reveal about you? Here are just a few:
• Communication Skills How effective are your communication skills? Do you write clearly, concisely, and correctly? Note that many employers put communication skills at the top of the list of essential qualifications.
• Critical Thinking Skills How fresh and imaginative are you in your thinking? Is your writing cluttered with cliches , or is it obvious that you have original ideas to contribute?
• Maturity What specific lessons have you learned from experience, and are you ready to apply those lessons to the job or the academic program you're considering? Keep in mind that it's not enough to be able to recount a personal experience; you should be prepared to interpret it as well.
• Self and Subject in Personal Essays "[W]here the familiar essay is characterized by its everyday subject matter, the personal essay is defined more by the personality of its writer, which takes precedence over the subject. On the other hand, the personal essayist does not place himself firmly in center stage, as does the autobiographical essayist; the autobiographical element of the personal essay is far less calculated..."
• The Essayist's Persona "Personal essayists from Montaigne on have been fascinated with the changeableness and plasticity of the materials of human personality. Starting with self-description, they have realized they can never render all at once the entire complexity of a personality. So they have elected to follow an additive strategy, offering incomplete shards, one mask or persona after another: the eager, skeptical, amiable, tender, curmudgeonly, antic, somber. If 'we must remove the mask,' it is only to substitute another mask..."
• The "Antigenre": An Alternative to Academic Prose "[T]he more personal essay offers an escape from the confines of academic prose . By using this antigenre form that in contemporary essays embodies multiple kinds of writing, many essayists in search of democracy find a freedom for expressing in their writings spontaneity, self-reflexivity, accessibility, and a rhetoric of sincerity."
• Teaching the Personal Essay "Given the opportunity to speak their own authority as writers, given a turn in the conversation, students can claim their stories as primary source material and transform their experiences into evidence ..."
• Essay Forms "Despite the anthologists' custom of presenting essays as 'models of organization ,' it is the loose structure or apparent shapelessness of the essay that is often stressed in standard definitions. . . . Samuel Johnson famously defined the essay as 'an irregular, indigested piece, not a regular and orderly performance.' And certainly, a number of essayists (Hazlitt and Emerson, for instance, after the fashion of Montaigne) are readily identifiable by the wayward or fragmentary nature of their explorations. Yet each of these writers observes certain distinctive organizing (or disorganizing) principles of his own, thus charting the ramble and shaping the form. As Jeanette Harris observes in Expressive Discourse , 'Even in the case of a personal essay , which may appear informal and loosely structured, the writer has crafted with care this very appearance of informality' (122).

Theresa Werner, "Personal Essay."  Encyclopedia of the Essay , ed. by Tracy Chevalier. Fitzroy Dearborn, 1997

E.B. White , Foreword to  Essays of E.B. White . Harper and Row, 1977

Cristina Kirklighter,  Traversing the Democratic Borders of the Essay . SUNY Press, 2002

Nancy Sommers, "Between the Drafts."  College Composition and Communication , February 1992

Richard F. Nordquist, "Voices of the Modern Essay." Dissertation University of Georgia, 1991

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4.13: Writing a Personal Essay

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Learning Objectives

• Describe techniques for writing an effective personal essay

How to Write a Personal Essay

One particular and common kind of narrative essay is the personal narrative essay. Many of you have already written at least one of these – in order to get to college. The personal essay is a narrative essay focused on you. Typically, you write about events or people in your life that taught you important life lessons. These events should have changed you somehow. From this choice will emerge the theme (the main point) of your story. Then you can follow these steps:

• Once you identify the event, you will write down what happened. Just brainstorm (also called freewriting). Focus on the actual event. You do not need to provide a complete build-up to it. For example, if you are telling a story about an experience at camp, you do not need to provide readers with a history of my camp experiences, nor do you need to explain how you got there, what we ate each day, how long it lasted, etc. Readers need enough information to understand the event. So, you do not need to provide information about my entire summer if the event only lasts a couple of days.
• Use descriptions/vivid details.
• “Nothing moved but a pair of squirrels chasing each other back and forth on the telephone wires. I followed one in my sight. Finally, it stopped for a moment and I fired.”
• The verbs are all in active voice creating a sense of immediacy: moved, followed, stopped, fired.
• Passive voice uses the verb “to be” along with an action verb: had been aiming, was exhausted.
• Develop your characters. Even though the “characters” in your story are real people, your readers won’t get to know them unless you describe them, present their personalities, and give them physical presence.
• Use dialogue. Dialogue helps readers get to know the characters in your story, infuses the story with life, and offers a variation from description and explanation. When writing dialogue, you may not remember exactly what was said in the past, so be true to the person being represented and come as close to the actual language the person uses as possible. Dialogue is indented with each person speaking as its own paragraph. The paragraph ends when that person is done speaking and any following explanation or continuing action ends. (If your characters speak a language other than English, feel free to include that in your narrative, but provide a translation for your English-speaking readers.)
• Be consistent in your point of view. Remember, if it is a personal narrative, you are telling the story, so it should be in first person. Students often worry about whether or not they are allowed to use “I.” It is impossible to write a personal essay without using “I”!
• Write the story in a consistent verb tense (almost always past tense). It doesn’t work to try to write it in the present tense since it already happened. Make sure you stay in the past tense.

Sample Personal Statement

One type of narrative essay you may have reason to write is a Personal Statement.

Many colleges and universities ask for a Personal Statement Essay for students who are applying for admission, to transfer, or for scholarships.

Generally, a Personal Statement asks you to respond to a specific prompt, most often asking you to describe a significant life event, a personality trait, or a goal or principle that motivates or inspires you. Personal Statements are essentially narrative essays with a particular focus on the writer’s personal life.

The following essay was responding to the prompt: “Write about an experience that made you aware of a skill or strength you possess.” As you read, pay attention to the way the writer gets your attention with a strong opening, how he uses vivid details and a chronological narrative to tell his story, and how he links back to the prompt in the conclusion.

Sample Student Essay

Alen Abramyan Professor X English 1101-209 2/5/2013

In the Middle of Nowhere Fighting Adversity

A three-punch combination had me seeing stars. Blood started to rush down my nose. The Russian trainers quietly whispered to one another. I knew right away that my nose was broken. Was this the end of my journey; or was I about to face adversity?

Ever since I was seven years old, I trained myself in, “The Art of Boxing.” While most of the kids were out playing fun games and hanging out with their friends, I was in a damp, sweat-filled gym. My path was set to be a difficult one. Blood, sweat, and, tears were going to be an everyday occurrence.

At a very young age I learned the meaning of hard work and dedication. Most kids jumped from one activity to the next. Some quit because it was too hard; others quit because they were too bored. My father pointed this out to me on many occasions. Adults would ask my father, ” why do you let your son box? It’s such a dangerous sport, he could get hurt. My father always replied, “Everyone is going to get hurt in their lives, physically, mentally and emotionally. I’m making sure he’s ready for the challenges he’s going to face as a man. I always felt strong after hearing my father speak that way about me. I was a boy being shaped into a man, what a great feeling it was.

Year after year, I participated in boxing tournaments across the U.S. As the years went by, the work ethic and strength of character my father and coaches instilled in me, were starting to take shape. I began applying the hard work and dedication I learned in boxing, to my everyday life. I realized that when times were tough and challenges presented themselves, I wouldn’t back down, I would become stronger. This confidence I had in myself, gave me the strength to pursue my boxing career in Russia.

I traveled to Russia to compete in Amateur Boxing. Tournament after tournament I came closer to my goal of making the Russian Olympic Boxing team. After successfully winning the Kaliningrad regional tournament, I began training for the Northwest Championships. This would include boxers from St. Petersburg, Pskov, Kursk and many other powerful boxing cities.

We had to prepare for a tough tournament, and that’s what we did. While sparring one week before the tournament, I was caught by a strong punch combination to the nose. I knew right away it was serious. Blood began rushing down my face, as I noticed the coaches whispering to each other. They walked into my corner and examined my nose,” yeah, it’s broken,” Yuri Ivonovich yelled out. I was asked to clean up and to meet them in their office. I walked into the Boxing Federation office after a quick shower. I knew right away, they wanted to replace me for the upcoming tournament. “We’re investing a lot of money on you boxers and we expect good results. Why should we risk taking you with a broken nose?” Yuri Ivonovich asked me. I replied, “I traveled half-way around the world to be here, this injury isn’t a problem for me.” And by the look on my face they were convinced, they handed me my train ticket and wished me luck.

The train came to a screeching halt, shaking all the passengers awake. I glanced out my window, “Welcome to Cherepovets,” the sign read. In the background I saw a horrific skyline of smokestacks, coughing out thick black smoke. Arriving in the city, we went straight to the weigh ins. Hundreds of boxers, all from many cities were there. The brackets were set up shortly after the weigh ins. In the Super Heavyweight division, I found out I had 4 fights to compete in, each increasing in difficulty. My first match, I made sure not a punch would land; this was true for the next two fights. Winning all three 6-0, 8-0 and 7-0 respectively. It looked like I was close to winning the whole tournament. For the finals I was to fight the National Olympic Hope Champion.

The night before the finals was coincidentally the 200th anniversary of the city. All night by my hotel, I heard screams of laughter and partying. I couldn’t sleep a wink. The morning of the fight I was exhausted but anxious. I stepped into the ring knowing that I was tired. I fell behind in points quickly in the first round. I felt as if I were dreaming, with no control of the situation. I was going along for the ride and it wasn’t pleasant. At the end of the second round, the coach informed me that I was far behind. “?You’re asleep in there,” he yelled out to me, confirming how I felt. I knew this was my last chance; I had to give it my all. I mustered up enough strength to have an amazing round. It was as if I stepped out and a fresh boxer stepped in. I glanced at my coaches and see a look of approval. No matter the outcome, I felt that I had defeated adversity. My opponent’s hand was raised , he won a close decision, 6-5. After I got back to my hotel, I remembered Yuri Ivonovich telling me they expected good results. “How were my results,” I asked myself. In my mind, the results were great, with a broken nose and with no sleep, I came one point shy of defeating the National Olympic Hope Champion.

Even from a very young age, I knew that when my back was against the wall and adversity was knocking on my door, I would never back down. I became a stronger person, a trait my family made sure I would carry into my adult years. No matter what I’m striving for; getting into a University; receiving a scholarship; or applying for a job, I can proudly say to myself, I am Alen Abramyan and adversity is no match for me.

Link to Learning

Sandra Cisneros offers an example of a narrative essay in “Only Daughter” that captures her sense of her Chicana-Mexican heritage as the only daughter in a family of seven children.

Do Personal Essays have Thesis Statements?

While many personal essays include a direct statement of the thesis, in some personal essays the thesis may be implied rather than stated outright.

Imagine, for example, that in your personal essay you decide to write about the way someone influenced you. The influential individual could be a relative, a friend or classmate, an employer or a teacher. As you shape your essay, you would not simply assemble a collection of miscellaneous observations about the person; instead, you would be selective and focus on details about this person that show his or her impact upon you.

Let us say that the person who influenced you is a grandparent. You may know a lot about this individual: personality traits, family and marital history, medical history, educational background, work experience, military experience, political and religious beliefs, hobbies, tastes in music, etc. But as you shape your essay about how this individual affected you, you wouldn’t try to catalog all that you know. Instead, you would try to create a dominant impression by including details that guide your reader toward the idea that is central to the essay.

For example, if you developed certain habits and attitudes as you and your grandparent worked together on a project, that experience might provide the focus for the essay. If you chose details consistent with that focus, then you wouldn’t need to state that this was the point of the essay. Your readers would understand that that was the governing idea based on the details you had so carefully chosen.

Whether the thesis is stated outright or implied, then, the personal essay will have a governing idea—an idea that is “in charge” of what you decide to include in the essay in terms of content, vocabulary, sentence structure, and tone. In short, the personal essay may not have a thesis statement, but it will have a thesis.

Consider a personal essay in which a student was asked to write about a person she admired, and she wrote about her cousin. She wrote:

• I admired my cousin’s decision to enlist because she had to withstand criticism from people who thought women shouldn’t be in the army and because in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges that I don’t think I could face.

The thesis statement provides quite a lot of guidance for both writing and reading the essay. Writer and reader are equally able to see what the subject of the essay is and what is being stated about the subject, and both writer and reader can see how the essay should be organized. No matter how many body paragraphs there are, this thesis implies that the paper will be divided into two sections. One section will group together the paragraphs on this topic: cousin “had to withstand criticism from people who thought women shouldn’t be in the army.” Another section will group together the paragraphs on this second topic: “in basic training she had to stand up to physical and mental challenges.”

Are Narratives Persuasive?

In a personal essay, you may not think of your thesis as “arguable” in the same way as a claim in a persuasive essay would be arguable, but in fact, you can think of it as something that should need to be demonstrated—backed up through explanations and illustrations. Usually, the idea that should be demonstrated is that you are a thoughtful, reflective person who has learned from the events and people in your life.

If the thesis does not need to be demonstrated, then there may not be much purpose in writing the essay. For, example, a statement that “George W. Bush was the forty-third president” or the statement that “Senior proms are exciting” would not be considered arguable by most people and likely would not spark a reader’s interest and make them want to keep reading.

On the other hand, the thesis statements below would need to be explained and illustrated. In that sense, these personal essay thesis statements are equivalent to claims that are “arguable.”

• The evening was nearly ruined because parents acting as dress-code vigilantes threw several people out of the prom.
• My team spent hours planning the prom and managed to head off a repeat of the after-prom drinking that caused some parents to question whether the prom should be held this year.
• Everyone was able to attend the prom proudly because our prom committee got several stores to loan outfits to make certain everyone would feel like they fit in.
• I opted to attend an alternative prom because the principal refused to allow a same-sex couple to attend.

Keep in mind that the actions or events in your essay do not have to make you look heroic. You could write a convincing and powerful essay about how you attended the school-sponsored prom, even though the principal refused to allow a same-sex couple to attend. Your essay, in this case, might, for example, focus on your regret over your decision and your subsequent understanding of how you think you can best challenge the status quo in the future. In other words, you can write an effective personal essay about a moment of regret.

When writing a personal essay for an application of some kind (scholarship, internship, graduate school), remember that the ultimate purpose of the essay is to make you, the essay writer and applicant, look good. That doesn’t mean that you need to describe you doing great things. If your personal essay is all about your grandfather and what an amazing role model and person he was, you still need to think about how your essay can make you (and not just your grandfather) look good. One way to make yourself look good is to make clear that you are a thoughtful, reflective person (and someone smart enough to learn from a man like your grandfather).

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Contributors and Attributions

• Narrative Essay. Provided by : Excelsior OWL. Located at : https://owl.excelsior.edu/rhetorical-styles/narrative-essay/narrative-essay-see-it-across-the-disciplines/ . License : CC BY: Attribution
• Narrative Essays. Authored by : Marianne Botos, Lynn McClelland, Stephanie Polliard, Pamela Osback . Located at : https://pvccenglish.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/eng-101-inside-pages-proof2-no-pro.pdf . Project : Horse of a Different Color: English Composition and Rhetoric . License : CC BY: Attribution
• Sample Narrative Essay. Provided by : Georgia State University. Located at : gsuideas.org/SCC/Narration/Sample%20Narrative%20Essay%20Personal%20Statement.html. Project : Writing For Success. License : CC BY: Attribution
• Writing a Narrative Essay. Provided by : Boundless. Located at : courses.lumenlearning.com/boundless-writing/chapter/types-of-rhetorical-modes/. License : CC BY-SA: Attribution-ShareAlike
• Image of person writing on sticky notes. Authored by : Nappiness. Provided by : Pixabay. Located at : pixabay.com/photos/brainstorming-business-professional-441010/. License : Other . License Terms : pixabay.com/service/terms/#license
• Do Personal Essays have Thesis Statements?. Provided by : Radford University. Located at : https://lcubbison.pressbooks.com/chapter/core-101-personal-essay-assignment/ . Project : Radford University Core Handbook. License : Public Domain: No Known Copyright

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How to Write a Personal Essay for Your College Application

What does it take to land in the “accept” (instead of “reject”) pile?

How can you write an essay that helps advance you in the eyes of the admissions officers and makes a real impression? Here are some tips to get you started.

• Start early.  Do not leave it until the last minute. Give yourself time when you don’t have other homework or extracurriculars hanging over your head to work on the essay.
• Keep the focus narrow.  Your essay does not have to cover a massive, earth-shattering event. Some people in their teens haven’t experienced a major life event. Some people have. Either way, it’s okay.
• Be yourself.  Whether writing about a painful experience or a more simple experience, use the narrative to be vulnerable and honest about who you are. Use words you would normally use. Trust your voice and the fact that your story is interesting enough in that no one else has lived it.
• Be creative.  “Show, don’t tell,” and that applies here — to an extent. The best essays typically do both. You can help your reader see and feel what you are describing by using some figurative language throughout your piece.
• Make a point. As you finish your final body paragraphs ask yourself “So what?” This will help you hone in on how to end your essay in a way that elevates it into a story about an insight or discovery you made about yourself, rather than just being about an experience you had.

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here .

We’ve all heard about the dreaded “college essay,” the bane of every high school senior’s existence. This daunting element of the college application is something that can create angst for even the most accomplished students.

• AA Amy Allen is a writer, educator, and lifelong learner. Her freelance writing business,  All of the Write Words , focuses on providing high school students with one-on-one feedback to guide them through the college application process and with crafting a thoughtful personal essay. A dedicated poet, Amy’s work has also been published in several journals including  Pine Row Press ,  Months to Years,  and  Atlanta Review .

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How to Write a Personal Essay

Last Updated: February 2, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Jake Adams . Jake Adams is an academic tutor and the owner of Simplifi EDU, a Santa Monica, California based online tutoring business offering learning resources and online tutors for academic subjects K-College, SAT & ACT prep, and college admissions applications. With over 14 years of professional tutoring experience, Jake is dedicated to providing his clients the very best online tutoring experience and access to a network of excellent undergraduate and graduate-level tutors from top colleges all over the nation. Jake holds a BS in International Business and Marketing from Pepperdine University. There are 10 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 310,293 times.

A good personal essay can move and inspire readers. It can also leave the reader unsettled, uncertain, and full of more questions than answers. To write an effective personal essay, you will need to first understand the structure of a personal essay. You will then need to brainstorm ideas for the personal essay so you are ready when it is time to sit down and craft your essay.

Starting Your Personal Essay

• For example, maybe you want to write about an experience where you learned about failure. You may think the time you failed a pop quiz in class. Though the quiz may have seemed insignificant to you at the time, you realized later that failing the pop quiz forced you to reassess your goals and motivated you to get a passing grade. Seen from a certain angle, your small failure became a gateway to perseverance and determination.

• This could be a seemingly small moment that ended up having a profound influence on you later, such the first time you experienced disgust as a child or the look on your mother’s face when you told her you were gay. Try to really dig into why you were hurt or compelled to overcome a challenge in this moment in your essay.
• Remember that moments charged with strong emotion will often be more engaging to readers. Having a strong reaction to a specific moment will allow you to write passionately about it and keep your reader interested in your essay.

• For example, you may focus on the day you found out your father cheated on your mother, or the week you mourned the death of a loved one. Think about a heavy experience in your life that shaped who you are today.
• You may also decide to write about a seemingly light topic or event, such as your first ride on a roller coaster, or the first time you went on a cruise with your partner. No matter what event you choose, make sure it is an event that triggered a strong emotional response, ranging from anger to confusion to unabashed joy.

• For example, you may think about why you and your mother stopped speaking years ago or why you are no longer close to a childhood friend. You may also look at past romantic relationships that failed and consider why they did not succeed or a relationship with a mentor that went sour.
• This could also be about someone that you're close with. For example, you could write about a moment that tested your relationship with a close friend.

• Ask yourself questions about the current event. For example, how does the current event intersect with your own experiences? How can you explore a current social issue or event using your personal thoughts, experiences, and emotions?
• For example, you may have an interest in writing about Syrian refugee camps in Europe. You may then focus your personal essay on your own status as a refugee in America and how your experiences a refugee have shaped the person you are now. This will allow you to explore a current event from a personal perspective, rather than simply talk about the current event from a distant, journalistic perspective.

• The introductory section should include “the hook”, opening lines where you catch the reader’s attention. It should also have some sort of narrative thesis, which is often the beginning of an important event in the piece or a theme that connects your experience to a universal idea.
• The body sections should include supporting evidence for your narrative thesis and/or the key themes in your piece. Often, this is in the form of your experiences and your reflections on your experiences. You should also note the passage of time in your body sections so the reader is aware of when and how certain events occurred.
• The concluding section should include a conclusion to the events and experiences discussed in the essay. You should also have a moral of the story moment, where you reflect on what you learned from your experiences or how your experiences changed your life.
• In the past, it was advised to have five paragraphs total, one paragraph for the introductory section, three paragraphs for the body section, and one paragraph for the concluding section. But you can have more or less than five paragraphs for your personal essay as long as you have all three sections.

Writing the Personal Essay

• Don't begin with a line that explains exactly what is going to be discussed in, such as, “In this essay, I will be discussing my fraught relationship with my mother." Instead, draw your reader into your piece and still provide all the information needed in your opening line.
• Start instead with a specific scene that contains the key characters of the essay and allows you discuss the central question or theme. Doing this will allow you to introduce the reader to the characters and the central conflict right away.
• For example, if you are writing about your fraught relationship with your mother, you may focus on a specific memory where you both disagreed or clashed. This could be the time you and your mother fought over a seemingly insignificant item, or the time you argued about a family secret.
• Try to use an active voice instead of a passive voice as much as possible when you're writing your essay.

• This writing voice may be conversational, much like how you might speak to a good friend or a family member. Or, the writing voice may be more reflective and internal, where you question your own assumptions and thoughts about the subject of the essay.
• Many personal essays are written in the first person, using “I”. You may decide to write in the present tense to make the story feel immediate, or past tense, which will allow you to reflect more on specific events or moments.
• Include vivid sensory descriptions in your essay to help the reader connect with your unique perspective. Describing touch, smell, taste, sight, and sound can help the reader invest in your story and feel like they're there with you.

• You can also include lines of dialogue spoken by your characters, based on your memory of the event. However, you should limit dialogue to only a few lines a page, as too much dialogue can start to veer away from personal essay and more toward fiction.

• You may use a plot outline to organize your essay. The plot points should act as supporting evidence for the central question or issue of the essay.

• It’s important to remember that though an experience may appear to have all the drama necessary to make a good personal essay, it may be a drama that is too familiar to the reader already. Be wary of experiences that are familiar and filled with pathos that a reader may have experienced before.
• If you are writing about the sudden death of a loved one, for example, it may feel important and deep to you. But the reader will likely know what to expect of an essay about a dead loved one, and may not relate to your essay because they did not know the loved one like you did.
• Instead, you may try to uncover a truth that is deeper than “I am sad my loved one died.” Think about what the loved one meant to you and how the loved one affected your life, in positive and negative ways. This could lead to the uncovering of a deeper truth and a stronger personal essay.

Polishing Your Essay

• For example, you may use metaphor to describe the experience of telling your mother you are gay. You may describe your mother’s face as “impenetrable, a sudden wall”. Or you may use a simile, such as “my mother’s reaction was silent and stunned, as if she had been struck by lightning.”

• As you read it out loud, you should highlight any sentences that are confusing or unclear as well as sentences that do not appear as strong as the rest of the draft. You should also make sure your characters are well developed and your essay follows some kind of structure or sense of plot. Consider if you are hitting a deeper truth in your draft and what you can do to get there if it is not yet on the page.Revising your essay will only make it that much stronger.

• When you are revising, you should consider if your content is really worth writing about, if you are writing about a topic or subject you are passionate about, and if your reader will understand your writing. You want to avoid confusing your reader, as this can turn her off from reading to the end of your essay.
• You should also make sure the focus and themes of the essay are clear. Your experiences should center around a central question, issue, or theme. This will ensure your personal essay is well written and concise.
• Avoid relying on spellcheck to catch all of the spelling and grammar errors in your essay.

Expert Q&A

• To get a better sense of the genre, you should read highly crafted examples of personal essay. There are several known personal essays that are often taught in academia, including "Notes of a Native Son” by James Baldwin, “The Death of a Moth” by Virginia Woolf, “Shipping Out” by David Foster Wallace, “The White Album” by Joan Didion, and “We Do Abortions Here” by Sallie Tisdale. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
• Ask yourself several questions as you read the examples, such as: How does the writer introduce the subject of their essay? How does the writer explore the subject for a personal perspective? What are the key themes in the essay? How does the writer connect their personal experiences to a universal theme or idea? How does the writer use humor or wit in the essay? What is the concluding moral of the essay? Does the end of the essay leave you satisfied, unsettled, curious, or all of the above? Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0

Sample Essay and Template

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://owl.excelsior.edu/writing-process/thesis-sentence/thesis-sentence-angles/
• ↑ Jake Adams. Academic Tutor & Test Prep Specialist. Expert Interview. 20 May 2020.
• ↑ https://courses.lumenlearning.com/englishcomp1/chapter/writing-a-narrative-or-personal-essay/
• ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/personal-essay/
• ↑ https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/how-to-write-a-personal-essay
• ↑ https://stlcc.edu/student-support/academic-success-and-tutoring/writing-center/writing-resources/point-of-view-in-academic-writing.aspx
• ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/story-plot/
• ↑ https://www.grammarly.com/blog/literary-devices/
• ↑ http://admissions.vanderbilt.edu/vandybloggers/2013/09/how-to-write-your-personal-essay/
• ↑ http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/revising-drafts/

About This Article

To write a personal essay, start by deciding on an experience that affected your life in some way, such as how failing a pop quiz in class made you change your goals. Next, draft an outline containing the points you want to make, and including an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. When writing, start your essay with an engaging scene that introduces the characters and main theme, then develop the characters in the body section so they're well-rounded. Conclude by summing up what you learned from the experience. For tips on how to include a plot in your essay and how to proofread your work, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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Personal Essay

Last updated on: Feb 9, 2023

Learn How to Write a Personal Essay by Experts

By: Cordon J.

Reviewed By: Jacklyn H.

Published on: Sep 28, 2021

Teachers typically assign a personal essay, along with other kinds of essays at the beginning of the high school year. Their reason behind this is to evaluate your writing abilities, communication skills and also to get to know you a little better.

If you are overwhelmed with the writing process or don’t know what to include in your essay, there’s no need to panic!

This complete guide will provide you with all the necessary steps for writing a personal essay. We have also mentioned a sample and some additional tips for you to ace your personal essay and create a lasting impression.

On this Page

What is a Personal Essay?

A personal essay is a type of writing that is based on the personal experiences of the writer. It talks about such life experiences that were the turning point for the writer or resulted in some major lessons and growth.

Not just that, you can also write a personal essay to address an issue close to your heart and how you feel about it.

The focus of such essays isn’t having to prove a point. But, it is to share the writer’s feelings, personal opinions, and experiences. It is a work of creative nonfiction autobiography narrated in a way that the reader feels as if he experienced it himself.

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Characteristics of a Personal Essay

Now that you have understood the personal essay definition let's take a look at the different writing styles and their characteristics.

When writing a personal narrative:

• To write a personal narrative essay, the center point should be a significant and meaningful life-changing experience.
• Since it is a narration, you must include storylike elements such as plot, setting, characters, imagery, dialogues, etc.
• It is written in the first-person perspective.
• It is an insight into the writer’s personal story, so it doesn’t need to be objective.
• The writer must be honest when sharing real-life incidents.

Sharing a Personal Opinion:

• It is kind of like a conversation with the readers where you can talk about an issue and propose a solution.
• It includes facts.
• It isn’t an essay about yourself, but an issue from your perspective.
• Your opinions are like evidence to prove the argument.

How to Write a Personal Essay

Writing a personal essay for college isn’t much different from other types of essays. They all follow the same writing process and structure - the only difference is the content.

Follow the steps given below to learn how to write an interesting personal essay.

1. Come Up with an Interesting Topic

When choosing a topic to share with your reader, think about things that you like reading about yourself. These are normally the things that you can relate to, such as overcoming a hurdle, losing a loved one, a milestone, etc.

It’ll be easier to write about events or experiences that hold a significant meaning in your life. Or, the incidents that happened to others at some point and you witnessed it.

The idea is to write about something that will teach your reader’s a lesson.

2. Create a Personal Essay Outline

It is always better to organize your essay and information using a proper structure to avoid going off track. Make a list of everything that you want to share with your reader and then create an outline to organize this information into different sections.

• Introduction

“How to start a personal essay?”

For a personal essay, make sure that you start on a light note. Build the reader's interest by providing them with something catchy and interesting about yourself. You can do that in the form of an anecdote, short story, or some fact.

To make it easier for the reader to understand, introduce the characters in your story as well as yourself.

• Body Paragraphs

he body typically consists of three paragraphs, but it can vary depending on your teacher's requirements. Chronologically describe the life events and how they influenced your beliefs and personality.

While writing such essays, your focus should be to show and not tell. Provide descriptive details about the incidents to make it easier for the reader to visualize. Use sensory details so that the reader uses his five senses to visualize your story.

Don’t just focus on narrating the story. Don’t forget the main purpose – how the event influenced and changed your life.

The conclusion is just as important as the opening of your essay. Use it to give the reader a sense of closure and reflect on your life events.

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Personal Essay Examples PDF

POETRY ANALYSIS ESSAY EXAMPLE (PDF)

Personal Essay Topics

Here are some interesting personal essay topics to give you an idea:

• Someone who taught you an important lesson.
• Things you learned from your mistakes.
• In what ways can you contribute towards the betterment of our society?
• The incident that changed your life forever.How you got rid of a bad personality trait.
• How did you meet your partner?
• What is your dream job and why?
• What is your favorite book and why?
• When did you majorly got inspired by someone or something?
• The most admirable work of art you came across

Personal Essay Writing Tips

Keep in mind the following tips to write a high-scoring personal essay:

• Always remain truthful when narrating your story and events from your real life.
• Take out some time to list down your thoughts that you want to incorporate in the essay beforehand.
• Don’t add irrelevant details to meet the word count as it will only bore the reader.
• Don’t feel shy sharing your failures. Instead, use them to show how you became a better version of yourself because of the setbacks.
• Maintain a positive point of view throughout the paper.
• Write in a conversational tone.
• Read the essay after you are done writing. Proofread and revise them as needed.

Check out more about writing a personal statement .

This was everything you needed to craft an interesting personal essay. Remember that there is a greater purpose than simply narrating a story. Your aim should be to inspire the reader with the lessons that you have learned.

If you get stuck during the writing process, all you need to do is reach out to the experts at 5StarEssays.com and they will write essay for you accordingly.

Whether you need help writing an essay from scratch or need editing assistance, we’ve got it all covered. Place your order today and get affordable help!

Frequently Asked Questions

What are the elements of a personal essay.

Following are the major elements of a personal essay:

• Character descriptions
• Dialogue association
• Setting description
• To the point focus
• Strong introduction
• Logical sequence
• Real details

Do personal essays have to be true?

Yes! A personal essay is an engaging way of showing off your growth and change through life's experiences. Unlike formal writing, you don't have to prove anything in a personal narrative because it speaks for itself!

How do you identify a personal essay?

A personal essay is typically written in the first person and has a conversational tone. The writer uses self-disclosure, honesty, and truth to tell their story of any experience they've had that relates back to various aspects of their lives.

Law, Persuasive Essay

Cordon. is a published author and writing specialist. He has worked in the publishing industry for many years, providing writing services and digital content. His own writing career began with a focus on literature and linguistics, which he continues to pursue. Cordon is an engaging and professional individual, always looking to help others achieve their goals.

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Personal Characteristics Essay: Top Examples and Tips for Successful Writing

Looking to write a compelling personal characteristics essay? Our article offers top examples and tips for successful writing.

Posted August 18, 2023

Table of Contents

When it comes to writing a personal characteristics essay, there are several important factors to consider to ensure that your essay stands out from the rest. This type of essay requires you to talk about your personal traits and characteristics and how they have shaped your life experiences and decisions. Writing a personal characteristics essay can be daunting, but with the right strategies and techniques, you can craft an impressive essay that leaves a lasting impression.

Understanding the Purpose of a Personal Characteristics Essay

Before diving into the writing process, it's essential to understand the purpose of a personal characteristics essay. The purpose of this type of essay is to showcase your unique qualities and characteristics, which makes you stand out from the rest. It's an opportunity for the reader to gain insight into your personality and the way you think. Your essay should not only provide a description of your traits but also demonstrate how they influence your actions and decisions.

Additionally, a personal characteristics essay can also serve as a tool for self-reflection and personal growth. Through the process of writing about your traits and how they have impacted your life, you may gain a deeper understanding of yourself and your values. This type of essay can also help you identify areas for improvement and set goals for personal development.

How to Choose a Topic for Your Personal Characteristics Essay

Choosing the right topic for your personal characteristics essay is crucial. You want to select a topic that not only reflects your personality but also allows you to showcase your writing skills. Start by brainstorming a list of traits and characteristics that define you. From there, select a topic that highlights one or two of these traits. Think about a situation that showcases these traits and how you overcame a challenge or learned a valuable lesson.

Another important factor to consider when choosing a topic for your personal characteristics essay is your audience. Think about who will be reading your essay and what they might be interested in learning about you. Consider selecting a topic that is relatable and relevant to your audience, while still highlighting your unique qualities.

It's also important to remember that your personal characteristics essay should not just be a list of traits or accomplishments. Instead, focus on telling a story that illustrates your personality and how it has shaped your experiences and perspectives. Choose a topic that allows you to delve deeper into your personal journey and share insights that will resonate with your readers.

Brainstorming Techniques for Your Personal Characteristics Essay

Brainstorming is an essential step in the writing process. It allows you to generate ideas and make connections between them. Try using mind maps or free-writing to get your ideas down on paper. You might also consider asking friends or family members what they think your most prominent traits are to get an outside perspective.

Another effective technique for brainstorming your personal characteristics essay is to reflect on your past experiences and how they have shaped you. Think about challenges you have faced and how you overcame them, or moments of success and how they have contributed to your personal growth. These experiences can provide valuable insight into your character and help you identify key traits to highlight in your essay.

The Importance of Organizing Your Thoughts and Ideas

Once you've generated your ideas, it's time to organize them. Start by creating an outline that includes the main points you want to make in your essay. Your outline should also include the introduction, body, and conclusion sections of your essay. Organizing your thoughts and ideas will help you stay on track and ensure that you cover all the necessary points in your essay.

Moreover, organizing your thoughts and ideas can also help you identify any gaps in your argument or areas where you need to do more research. By creating an outline, you can see where you need to add more information or examples to support your points. This can help you create a more well-rounded and convincing essay.

Additionally, organizing your thoughts and ideas can also help you save time in the long run. When you have a clear outline to follow, you can write your essay more efficiently and effectively. You won't waste time trying to figure out what to write next or how to structure your essay. Instead, you can focus on writing high-quality content that supports your thesis statement and engages your readers.

Tips for Writing a Strong Introduction to Your Essay

The introduction to your essay is crucial as it sets the tone for the rest of your essay. Your introduction should grab the reader's attention and entice them to keep reading. Consider starting with a hook, such as a quote, an anecdote, or a question. Your introduction should also include your thesis statement, which outlines the main point of your essay.

In addition to a hook and thesis statement, your introduction should also provide some background information on the topic you are writing about. This can help to contextualize your essay and give the reader a better understanding of the subject matter. However, be careful not to include too much information in your introduction, as it can become overwhelming and detract from the main point of your essay.

The Art of Developing a Compelling Thesis Statement

Your thesis statement should be concise and clear. It should provide a roadmap for the rest of your essay. Think about the main point you want to make and how you plan on supporting it throughout your essay. Make sure your thesis statement is arguable and specific.

Supporting Your Claims with Relevant Examples and Evidence

To make your essay more compelling, you should back up your claims and arguments with relevant examples and evidence. This will help your reader understand the extent of your personal qualities and how they have impacted your life experiences. Make sure to include specific examples from your life that illustrate the qualities you're discussing in your essay.

One effective way to provide evidence for your claims is to use statistics or data that support your argument. For example, if you're writing an essay about the benefits of exercise, you could include statistics about the number of people who have improved their health through regular exercise. This will add credibility to your argument and make it more convincing.

Another way to support your claims is to use expert opinions or quotes from reputable sources. This can help to strengthen your argument and show that you have done your research on the topic. Be sure to properly cite any sources you use in your essay.

The Power of Descriptive Writing: Painting a Vivid Picture with Words

Descriptive writing is a powerful tool that can be used to paint a vivid picture of your experiences and personality in your essay. Use sensory details to help your reader visualize your experiences. Consider incorporating metaphors or similes to make your writing more interesting and engaging.

Adding Depth and Complexity to Your Essay through Analysis and Reflection

Analysis and reflection are essential elements of an outstanding personal characteristics essay. Once you have described your traits and experiences, you should analyze how they have contributed to your personal growth and development. Reflection is also important as it allows you to consider how you might apply your characteristics to future situations.

The Benefits of Peer Review and Collaboration in Essay Writing

Collaborating with others can be immensely helpful in refining your essay. You might consider having a friend or family member review your essay and provide feedback. Peer review can help you identify areas where your essay needs improvement and provide suggestions for how to improve it.

Strategies for Effective Editing and Proofreading

Editing and proofreading are crucial steps in the writing process. Once you have completed your essay, take a break and come back to it with fresh eyes. Look for errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Make sure to also check that your essay flows logically and that your arguments are well-supported.

Addressing Common Pitfalls in Personal Characteristics Essays

One common pitfall in personal characteristics essays is focusing too much on describing your traits instead of analyzing how they have impacted your life experiences. Another common pitfall is using cliches or generic language instead of making your essay unique and interesting. Be sure to avoid these pitfalls to ensure your essay stands out.

Using Keywords and Meta Tags to Optimize Your Essay for Search Engines

If you plan on publishing your essay online, you might consider optimizing it for search engines such as Google. This involves using keywords and meta tags in your essay that will help it appear higher in search results. Be sure to research the most popular keywords related to your topic and include them strategically in your essay.

Crafting an Impressive Conclusion that Leaves a Lasting Impression

Finally, your conclusion should leave a lasting impression on the reader. Summarize your main points and reiterate your thesis statement. Think about what you want your reader to take away from your essay. Consider ending with a call to action or a memorable quote.

Writing a personal characteristics essay can be a challenging task, but with the right strategies and techniques, you can craft an impressive essay that showcases your unique qualities and characteristics. By following the tips outlined above, you'll be well on your way to writing a successful personal characteristics essay that leaves a lasting impression.

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, personal characteristics essay.

Hi everyone! I'm working on a personal characteristics essay for a college application and wondering if you could guide me on what to include. What kind of qualities and experiences would be most effective to write about? Thanks in advance!

Hello! Writing a personal characteristics essay is a great opportunity to showcase the unique qualities and experiences that make you stand out as an applicant. Here are a few tips to help you highlight these aspects effectively:

1. Self-awareness and self-reflection: Colleges appreciate students who can look inward and are aware of their strengths, weaknesses, and growth opportunities. Reflect on how you've grown over time, what challenges you've faced, and how you've overcome them. This demonstrates maturity and a willingness to learn from your experiences.

2. Genuine passion: Choose qualities that genuinely resonate with you rather than those you think the admissions officers want to hear. Be authentic about what excites you and how it has shaped your goals or aspirations. This will make your essay more engaging and relatable.

3. Show, don't tell: Instead of simply stating your qualities, use anecdotes or experiences to illustrate them. You could describe a specific project, extracurricular activity, or event where you demonstrated leadership, creativity, resilience, or another characteristic. This makes your essay more memorable and helps the reader better understand your personality.

4. Be specific: Avoid generic statements like "I'm a hard worker" or "I'm a good leader." Instead, focus on specific examples that showcase these qualities. For instance, you could discuss a time when you managed a team project under tight deadlines or when you took the initiative to start a new club at school.

5. Highlight your impact: Discuss the impact your personal characteristics have had on others, such as your friends, family, or community. This could include volunteer work, tutoring others, or participating in group activities where your qualities positively influenced the outcome.

6. Balance: While it's important to showcase your strengths, also recognize areas where you could improve. This shows humility and a commitment to personal growth, further enhancing your self-awareness.

7. Keep it concise and well-organized: Focus on a few key characteristics and experiences, rather than trying to cover too much ground. Make sure your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs for each quality or experience, and a conclusion that ties everything together.

In summary, when writing a personal characteristics essay, focus on being self-aware, genuine, specific, and impactful. Use anecdotes and experiences to illustrate your qualities, while remaining concise and well-organized. Good luck with your essay!

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

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Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

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Writing the Personal Statement

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The personal statement, your opportunity to sell yourself in the application process, generally falls into one of two categories:

1. The general, comprehensive personal statement:

This allows you maximum freedom in terms of what you write and is the type of statement often prepared for standard medical or law school application forms.

2. The response to very specific questions:

Often, business and graduate school applications ask specific questions, and your statement should respond specifically to the question being asked. Some business school applications favor multiple essays, typically asking for responses to three or more questions.

Questions to ask yourself before you write:

• What's special, unique, distinctive, and/or impressive about you or your life story?
• What details of your life (personal or family problems, history, people or events that have shaped you or influenced your goals) might help the committee better understand you or help set you apart from other applicants?
• When did you become interested in this field and what have you learned about it (and about yourself) that has further stimulated your interest and reinforced your conviction that you are well suited to this field? What insights have you gained?
• How have you learned about this field—through classes, readings, seminars, work or other experiences, or conversations with people already in the field?
• If you have worked a lot during your college years, what have you learned (leadership or managerial skills, for example), and how has that work contributed to your growth?
• What are your career goals?
• Are there any gaps or discrepancies in your academic record that you should explain (great grades but mediocre LSAT or GRE scores, for example, or a distinct upward pattern to your GPA if it was only average in the beginning)?
• Have you had to overcome any unusual obstacles or hardships (for example, economic, familial, or physical) in your life?
• What personal characteristics (for example, integrity, compassion, and/or persistence) do you possess that would improve your prospects for success in the field or profession? Is there a way to demonstrate or document that you have these characteristics?
• What skills (for example, leadership, communicative, analytical) do you possess?
• Why might you be a stronger candidate for graduate school—and more successful and effective in the profession or field than other applicants?
• What are the most compelling reasons you can give for the admissions committee to be interested in you?

General advice

Answer the questions that are asked

• If you are applying to several schools, you may find questions in each application that are somewhat similar.
• Don't be tempted to use the same statement for all applications. It is important to answer each question being asked, and if slightly different answers are needed, you should write separate statements. In every case, be sure your answer fits the question being asked.

Tell a story

• Think in terms of showing or demonstrating through concrete experience. One of the worst things you can do is to bore the admissions committee. If your statement is fresh, lively, and different, you'll be putting yourself ahead of the pack. If you distinguish yourself through your story, you will make yourself memorable.

Be specific

• Don't, for example, state that you would make an excellent doctor unless you can back it up with specific reasons. Your desire to become a lawyer, engineer, or whatever should be logical, the result of specific experience that is described in your statement. Your application should emerge as the logical conclusion to your story.

Find an angle

• If you're like most people, your life story lacks drama, so figuring out a way to make it interesting becomes the big challenge. Finding an angle or a "hook" is vital.

Concentrate on your opening paragraph

• The lead or opening paragraph is generally the most important. It is here that you grab the reader's attention or lose it. This paragraph becomes the framework for the rest of the statement.

Tell what you know

• The middle section of your essay might detail your interest and experience in your particular field, as well as some of your knowledge of the field. Too many people graduate with little or no knowledge of the nuts and bolts of the profession or field they hope to enter. Be as specific as you can in relating what you know about the field and use the language professionals use in conveying this information. Refer to experiences (work, research, etc.), classes, conversations with people in the field, books you've read, seminars you've attended, or any other source of specific information about the career you want and why you're suited to it. Since you will have to select what you include in your statement, the choices you make are often an indication of your judgment.

Don't include some subjects

• There are certain things best left out of personal statements. For example, references to experiences or accomplishments in high school or earlier are generally not a good idea. Don't mention potentially controversial subjects (for example, controversial religious or political issues).

Do some research, if needed

• If a school wants to know why you're applying to it rather than another school, do some research to find out what sets your choice apart from other universities or programs. If the school setting would provide an important geographical or cultural change for you, this might be a factor to mention.

Write well and correctly

• Be meticulous. Type and proofread your essay very carefully. Many admissions officers say that good written skills and command of correct use of language are important to them as they read these statements. Express yourself clearly and concisely. Adhere to stated word limits.

Avoid clichés

• A medical school applicant who writes that he is good at science and wants to help other people is not exactly expressing an original thought. Stay away from often-repeated or tired statements.

For more information on writing a personal statement, see the personal statement vidcast .

What is a Personal Essay?

Are you wondering what is a personal essay? Discover more about personal essay, its examples and structures.

A personal essay is a short written work that lets a writer describe a personal experience or significant event based on their experiences or worldview. It is a short piece of creative nonfiction, and it’s often written in the first person.

Personal essays provide you with the chance to create a piece of writing about a life experience, personal accomplishment or worldview. They’re also a literary form of expression that many non-fiction writers use when considering an experience, idea or event.

It is not a memoir or academic essay requiring detailed citations. If you have ever applied for a job or college admission, this type of essay is necessary to help those making decisions about you.

In short, learning how to write one is a valuable skill for many different types of writers. Here is everything you need to know about writing your personal essay, with examples.

Examples of Personal Essays

What makes a strong personal essay, personal essay writing 101, choosing essay topics, examples of personal essayists, introduction, body paragraphs, 1. know your main points, 2. consider a universal truth, 3. grab reader’s attention, 4. establish a sequence of events, 5. write your personal truth, 6. summarize your essay, a final word on what is a personal essay, what is a personal statement essay, what is a personal essay for college, essay writing resources.

Some examples of personal essays include:

• College essay. The college essay is typically written in high school as part of the college admissions process.
• Personal statement . A personal statement may be part of a job application or resume.
• Personal story. A personal story summarizes something that happened in the writer’s life, without the particular purpose of getting a job or getting into college.

A strong personal essay is one that grabs the reader’s attention, explains the main problem or challenge the writer faced and takes them to a turning point and conclusion. It is short, which means every word has a purpose. It uses compelling language to encourage the reader to keep reading. Typically it’s:

• Entertaining
• Inspirational

A strong personal essay also depends on choosing the right topic. While the overriding topic is the individual’s life, personal essayists must learn how to pull an event or topic from their life to write the essay on. Personal essay topics drive the writing and keep it focused on a particular point, which makes the essay strong and effective.

To write a personal essay, you will need to understand how to choose personal essay topics, the structure of a formal essay, and make your writing compelling. Reading and studying examples from other personal essay writers can also help.

A personal essay is not a biography. That’s because an essay is usually much shorter than a book or a memoir. Plus, and essayist focuses on a topic and not themselves. To write one, you will need to brainstorm specific topics from your life. Ideas may include:

• An incident you view as a turning point in your life e.g. a birth, death, passage or turning point
• How you learned from a mistake or error or personal set back.
• The impact of someone specific , like a mentor or family member, who taught you an important lesson
• How you made a major life improvement or change a personality trait that was causing negativity in your life
• A pivotal moment in your life like a near death experience, addiction or crisis.

Anyone can write a personal essay, but some authors have been able to make a career out of it. 

Annie Dillard’s famous work “Total Eclipse” is an  example of a personal essay . In this short work, Dillard masterfully tells her experience of watching a total eclipse. From the very first word, she engages the reader with sensory-rich language.

David Sedaris  is another popular personal essayist. His collections, including Naked , Me Talk Pretty One Day , and Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim all show his ability to take his personal life and weave it into engaging nonfiction writing .

Sedaris is an unusual essayist in that many of his essays start as journal entries. He writes several thousand words about what happened to him any given day. Then, he takes on of these anecdotes and edits and rewrites it until a personal essay takes shape. Finally, he performs his personal essay in person, on stage and on tour to gauge what parts readers respond to.

To read some other personal essay examples, I’d recommend checking out some of the personal essay compilations edited by Philip Lopate .

Structure of a Personal Essay

Personal essays follow a specific structure. They should include these elements:

Your introduction will help you grab the reader’s attention and provide an interesting tidbit bout yourself or your personal experience. This can be a fact or short story, but it should give the reader a reason to engage with your essay. Start with a strong sentence, an image or an inciting incident .

If you’re struggling with the introduction of a personal essay, leave this section until last as it’s easier to set up a piece, once you know what it’s about.

Most academic essays will have at least three paragraphs, but you can have more or less depending on the main topic of your essay. Literary personal essays can span thousands of words or dozens of pages. Include descriptive details and go through the events in order to reach the defining moment of the story.

In the body paragraphs, make sure you keep the main point of your essay in mind. You aren’t just telling a story about your life. You are using the essay to make a specific point. Take the reader along a journey so that you can tell your story and present an argument of some sort.

Finish your essay with a memorable conclusion that calls back to the introduction. This should summarize what you have written about, bring closure for the reader and give you the chance to reflect on what the life event taught you. A good personal essay conclusion leaves a reader wanting more or encourage them to reconsider their worldview.

Tips for Writing a Personal Narrative Essay

When writing a personal essay, these tips will help you stay on track.

Before you start writing, know what your main points will be. Structure an outline that determines what each part of your essay structure will talk about. This will drive your writing.

Your main points may simply be the order of events, or they may be more specific facts that drive the details of your story. Choose the main points before you start writing. That said, if you’re writing a literary personal essay, you can always explore these main points through free writing .

Is there a universal truth you wish to convey with your essay? For example, you may want the reader to come away feeling as though they can do anything if they work hard and push through obstacles, or you may want to explore the impact that one person can make on another’s life.

If your essay has a universal truth, state it in the introduction and use it as you plan your outline. Keep this truth in mind as you write, ensuring that every sentence continues that truth. 

The reader doesn’t have to agree with your universal truth, but it should still inform the central argument of your essay. When in doubt, write this truth as if you’re speaking or writing a letter to a good friend.

Effective personal essays grab a reader’s attention from the first sentence and keep it through the conclusion. Use words that appeal to the senses to craft your writing, but avoid dipping into cliches or overly flowery language, which can detract from your meaning.

You can grab the reader’s attention with an interesting anecdote, common quote or shocking statistic in your introduction. Then pull from that attention grabber to naturally draw the reader into your essay.

If you need help, check out our self-editing checklist .

Because personal essays discuss something that happened to you, you will need to have a clear sequence of events. This will usually be the order that you saw the events happening, but a different order may make sense depending on your writing goal .

No matter what order or sequence you choose, stay consistent. If you’re a new essayist, going out of order may confuse the reader, so keep things in order through your writing. More experienced writers and essayists regularly play around with narrative structure and time to keep things interesting for the reader.

Don’t embellish your story to make it larger than life. Pull meaning from the events that happened, and stay true to those while writing your essay. That said, you can focus on a single detail or event and magnify it for the reader.

The key to writing a successful personal essay is taking an event that may seem trivial and transforming it into an essay that keeps the reader engaged. Embellishing the truth is not necessary if you are using your writing skills well.

Good personal essay end with strong conclusions. If it’s an academic essay, summarize the lesson learned and your overall journey.

In the conclusion, summarize your thesis statement or main idea and your overall essay points. Bring the reader to a satisfying conclusion. It’s sometimes helpful to callback to an image, metaphor or a moment from the introduction. Again, it’s easier to do this if you write the conclusion and introduction last.

Literary essayists sometimes like to end an essay by leaving the reader a point, image, scene or piece of dialogue to ponder.

A personal essay showcases your writing skills to readers, editors, academics and interviewers. It takes the reader on a journey that is personal to you because it is your journey. It’s a popular form of literary expression for many non-fiction writers, across genres. And confessional personal essays are increasingly popular online too.

The personal essay is often an important part of both college admittance and job selection. It demonstrates your abilities with the written word and reveals who you are as a person, which is why it’s a vital skill. Learn how to write a personal esay well, and you will be ready for whatever the future holds.

Need help? Check out our guide to the best essay checkers .

FAQs About What Is a Personal Essay

A personal statement essay is a type of personal essay used to introduce yourself to people who are making a decision, such as potential employers or a college selection committee. It contains many of the same features as a resume, introducing the reader to who you are and what your accomplishments are. 

A personal essay for college is what an admissions team or selection committee looks at to determine if they will accept a student into a program. It should include academic achievements and some career goal information. 

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Nicole Harms has been writing professionally since 2006. She specializes in education content and real estate writing but enjoys a wide gamut of topics. Her goal is to connect with the reader in an engaging, but informative way. Her work has been featured on USA Today, and she ghostwrites for many high-profile companies. As a former teacher, she is passionate about both research and grammar, giving her clients the quality they demand in today's online marketing world.

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9 Essential Features of the Personal Essay Format

Kate Sliunkova

AdmitYogi, Stanford MBA & MA in Education

1. Writing Quality

‍Because personal essays hold a mirror up to the author and are also compositions, they allow for and demand some elements of originality and creativity.

The key is to craft an essay that is uniquely yours, impactful, succinct, and authentic. You’ll want to make every word count, strive to “show not tell,” and excel at improving word choice during the revision process to give full expression to your experiences and insights.

You, and someone not you (with good written communication skills), should review for final editing and to ensure the essay is carefully proofread.

2. Personal Point of View and Voice

‍Unlike expository essays or news writing, personal essays are subjective, and use first-person speech and perspective. Everything in the essay projects your unique personality, emotions, imunication style, making your college essay both “personal” and distinctive.

3. Authenticity and Vulnerability

Personal essays often explore sensitive or vulnerable topics, allowing readers to connect with YOU, the speaker. At the same time you’ll want to leave out overly personal or private details that don’t really fit the purpose or goal of the essay! Your essay is personal but it’s also shared publicly. You present an authentic self, without coming across boastful or artificial, and without being overly familiar…

PRO TIP: Respect your boundaries when it comes to what you feel okay sharing or not sharing. > Get input from an outside reader who knows you well for more input on what you’re sharing about > yourself and your life experiences before you press “submit.”

4. An Individual Value System

‍A great GPA and great letters of recommendation carry weight, but your personal essay is a way to present consequential character traits admissions officers are unlikely to find elsewhere in your application packet. A strong essay will communicate your values AND anchor them in lived experiences and reflections — making these personal beliefs more vivid, memorable, and also persuasive. Finally, look for opportunities to share how your values inform your passion for learning, your vocational interests, and your potential to contribute positively to campus life.

‍Personal essays aren’t just lists of experiences or lists of personality traits…Personal essays are a great format for highlighting your own level of self awareness. In an essay this often involves showing pivotal experiences or influences in your life and how you actively learn from them. Don’t feel valuable experiences need to be exceptional or fit any mold, we all learn from big and small experiences in our lives, and both successes and challenges can offer equally valuable insights!

6. Storytelling

‍Some personal essays are structured as narratives or “stories.” In fact, sometimes personal essay and personal narrative are terms used to describe the same essay format. We’ll talk more about narrative elements under “structure” below.

7. Emotional Connection‍

Successful personal essays evoke emotions in the reader. They use concrete details, imagery, or emphatic language to help the reader connect on a more personal and intimate level with the writer’s individual circumstances, experiences, joys, hardships, or challenges…

8. Universality

‍Although subjective, the personal essay is a format that lets the writer share personal insights and reflections that touch on more universal themes about life. These larger themes make the piece more memorable for the reader and allow the reader to compare their own insights and experiences with those of the writer.

Personal essays, and admissions essays in particular, are usually concise and to the point. Although you’ll likely want to add color and realism with some descriptive details, dialogue, or other vivid elements, you’ll typically want to maintain a strong focus on your formative experiences and most meaningful reflections.

Since the College Admissions essay is part of the Personal Essay family, the principles we’ve just listed go a long way in helping you understand how to format a winning college essay!

PRO TIP: When you’re ready for some additional feedback on your essay try checking with an academic advisor at your school. It is also very helpful to seek feedback from someone who knows you well - a parent, sibling, or friend would do great, even better if they have recently gone through the admissions process themselves.

Get ahead of the pack by using more sophisticated AI tools designed specifically for evaluating college application essays, such as Admit Yogi AI Essay Reviewer . Our essay reviewer is designed specifically for college admissions essays with input from experienced admissions consultants and former admissions officers, offers prompts in an intuitive format, and is keyed to read for high-impact essay components such as writing quality, personal voice, authenticity, values, and insights…

Now that you’ve got some quick insights into the essential features of a powerful personal essay, let’s go on to talk about the kinds of content, themes, and structures that work best in a college essay format.

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Personal Essays: Harmonizing Intimacy and Formality

Did you know that the world-renowned author George Orwell once penned a personal essay titled 'Shooting an Elephant'? It's a powerful testament to the genre's ability to convey personal experiences while addressing broader themes. Personal essays, much like Orwell's, have the remarkable capacity to delve into the intimate corners of one's life while resonating with a wide audience. This essay genre thrives on the delicate balance between exposing the personal and upholding a formal structure.

Personal Essays: Short Description

In this comprehensive guide, we will explore the world of personal essays, where the power of storytelling meets the precision of formal writing. Discover the essential steps for crafting your own compelling narrative, explore the proper format for personal essay to gain insights, and learn how to strike the elusive balance between intimacy and formality. Whether you're an aspiring writer looking to hone your skills or a student preparing a college application, this article offers valuable advice and inspiration. Join us as we delve into the art of personal essay writing, exploring topics ranging from choosing the right narrative to refining your unique voice.

What is a Personal Essay: Definition and Characteristics

A personal narrative essay is more than just professional writing on a page; it's a voyage into the author's inner world, a glimpse into their thoughts, emotions, and experiences. Unlike traditional essays, which often aim to inform or persuade, personal essays invite readers into the writer's personal narrative. They are a blend of storytelling and reflection, combining vivid anecdotes with introspective analysis.

Characterized by their authenticity and emotional resonance, personal essays reveal the writer's vulnerability, allowing readers to connect on a profound level. These essays often explore universal themes through the lens of personal experience, creating a bridge between the writer's life and the broader human experience. Here are some of its key characteristics:

• First-Person Perspective: Personal essays are typically written in the first person, offering a direct and intimate connection between the writer and the reader.
• Narrative Style: They often employ storytelling techniques, weaving personal anecdotes, experiences, or events into the narrative.
• Emotional Depth: Personal essays explore emotions, feelings, and personal reactions, creating an emotional connection with the reader.
• Reflection and Insight: Authors engage in introspection, providing thoughtful analysis or commentary on their experiences offering deeper meaning or lessons learned.
• Subjective Voice: These essays reflect the writer's unique voice and perspective, emphasizing subjectivity rather than objectivity.

A Personal Essay vs. Other Essay Types

When it comes to essays, the literary landscape offers a rich tapestry of genres and styles. Among them, the personal essay stands as a distinct and compelling form of expression, but how does it differ from other types?

1. Perspective: 'The 'I' Factor'

Personal essays prominently feature the first-person perspective, inviting readers to experience the writer's world from a personal and intimate angle, while other essay types often maintain a more objective tone.

2. Source Material: 'Your Life as the Source'

In this kind of essay, the writer's own life experiences and personal essay examples take center stage as primary sources, diverging from other essays that rely on external research and citations to support their arguments.

3. Purpose: 'Emotion Over Persuasion'

While academic essays often aim to persuade with data and statistics, personal essays prioritize the power of storytelling and empathy to create emotional connections with the reader.

4. Focus: 'Glimpses, Not Expositions'

These types of essays focus on specific moments or themes in the writer's life, favoring brevity and emotional impact over exhaustive analysis or comprehensive coverage.

5. Dialogue vs. Declaration: 'Conversations Over Discourses'

They foster an intimate dialogue between writer and reader, blurring the boundaries between author and audience, creating a heartfelt conversational tone rather than a formal declaration.

How to Write a Personal Essay: Breaking Down the Key Steps

Knowing how to write a personal essay is akin to weaving the threads of your life experiences into a narrative tapestry that captivates and resonates. From choosing the perfect topic to refining your unique voice, this section will equip you with the essential skills to master the intimate yet formal dance of personal essay writing.

Choose a Compelling Topic

Selecting the right topic for your personal essay is the foundation upon which your narrative will stand. Instead of opting for the obvious or clichéd, consider personal essay topics that evoke genuine passion or intrigue within you. Often, the most compelling subjects lie in the mundane and everyday experiences, transformed by your unique perspective. Ask yourself: What story can only I tell? This will guide you toward topics that resonate with authenticity and originality.

Establish a Unique Voice

In the realm of personal essays, your voice is your fingerprint—distinct and unmistakable. It's the tone, style, and perspective that sets your writing apart from the rest. Rather than striving for artificial eloquence, embrace the authenticity of your own voice. It's not just about what you say but how you say it. Inject your personality into your prose. Whether it's humor, introspection, or unfiltered honesty, your unique voice is what will forge a lasting connection with your readers.

Structure Your Personal Essay

The outline for personal essay is the framework upon which your narrative unfolds. While these essays are known for their intimacy, they still require a structured form to guide the reader through your story. Begin with a compelling hook—an anecdote, a question, or a provocative statement—to draw readers in. Then, craft a narrative arc that takes them on a journey, building tension and reaching a climax before gently landing on a reflective note. This structure ensures your essay remains engaging and cohesive, seamlessly blending the personal and formal elements. We'll delve into much more detail below.

Craft a Captivating Introduction

When considering how to start a personal essay, think of the introduction as the enticing aroma of a delicious meal. It should pique the reader's curiosity and lure them into the world you're about to unveil. Anecdotes, quotes, or vivid descriptions work wonders here. For instance, consider the opening lines of Joan Didion's essay 'The White Album': 'We tell ourselves stories in order to live.' These words immediately set the tone for a thought-provoking exploration of storytelling. Your introduction should promise a rewarding reading experience and hint at the themes you'll explore, leaving readers eager to delve deeper. Additionally, for more guidance, you can explore tips on how to write a killer thesis statement .

Develop the Narrative

The heart of your personal essay lies in the narrative you weave. So, if unsure how to write a personal narrative essay, remember that this is where personal experiences take center stage, transforming into a compelling story. Use vivid imagery, sensory details, and dialogue to bring your experiences to life. For example, in David Sedaris' essay 'Me Talk Pretty One Day,' he skillfully recounts his humorous struggles with learning French in Paris. His vivid descriptions and witty observations make the reader feel as though they are right there, stumbling through the language with him. Don't just tell your story; show it through engaging storytelling techniques. Make your readers feel the emotions and experiences you're conveying, immersing them in your narrative journey.

Build Tension and Climax

Creating tension and a climactic moment in your personal essay is about drawing readers deeper into your narrative, building anticipation, and then delivering a powerful emotional or intellectual payoff. Consider the essay 'Consider the Lobster' by David Foster Wallace. He starts by discussing a seemingly trivial topic—the Maine Lobster Festival. However, as the essay progresses, he skillfully builds tension by exploring the ethics of boiling lobsters alive, leading to a thought-provoking climax that forces readers to confront their own attitudes toward animal cruelty. To achieve this in your essay, escalate the stakes gradually, adding layers of complexity to your narrative, and then resolve them with a twist, revelation, or moment of realization that leaves a lasting impression.

Reflect and Analyze Personal Experiences

A personal essay is not merely a recounting of events; it's an exploration of their significance. After narrating your experiences, take the time to reflect and analyze what they mean to you and the broader human experience. Ask yourself the 'why' and 'so what' questions.

For instance, in her essay 'On Keeping a Notebook,' Joan Didion recounts her habit of maintaining a notebook of observations and musings. She doesn't just describe the act; she reflects on why she does it and what it reveals about memory and identity. This introspection adds depth to your essay, allowing readers to connect with your experiences on a deeper level. By offering your insights, you invite readers to reflect on their own lives and perspectives, making your essay not just a story but a meaningful exploration of the human condition.

Conclude with Purpose

The conclusion of your personal essay is your opportunity to tie together the threads of your narrative and provide a sense of closure and insight. Rather than merely summarizing your story, use the conclusion to reinforce the themes or lessons you've explored. Consider the essay 'Goodbye to All That' by Joan Didion, where she concludes by reflecting on her changing relationship with New York City and the passage of time. Her conclusion doesn't just wrap up the narrative; it resonates with readers by offering a profound insight into the bittersweet nature of nostalgia and growth.

In your own essay, revisit the central themes or questions you introduced in the introduction and reflect on how your experiences have shaped your perspective. Leave your readers with something to ponder or a takeaway that lingers long after they've finished reading. Whether it's a thought-provoking question, a call to action, or a poignant reflection, concluding with purpose ensures that your personal essay leaves a meaningful mark on your audience.

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How to Write a Personal Essay for College

Your personal essay for college is your opportunity to step out from the sea of applicants and introduce yourself in a unique and compelling way. Here, we will explore some valuable tips to help your college essay shine while also highlighting common mistakes to avoid. And, if you ever need assistance, don't hesitate to send us your ' do my thesis for me ' request, and our narrative essay writing service will handle it with expertise.

Tips for Making Your College Personal Essay Stand Out:

• Start with a Captivating Hook: Begin your essay with an engaging hook that grabs the reader's attention from the outset. This could be a personal anecdote, a thought-provoking question, or a striking statement that sets the stage for your narrative.
• Show, Don't Tell: Instead of simply listing your achievements or qualities, use vivid storytelling to illustrate your character and experiences. Let your readers draw their own conclusions about your strengths and values.
• Be Authentic: Authenticity is key in personal essays. Write from the heart and be genuine in sharing your thoughts and experiences. Admissions officers value authenticity over a rehearsed persona.
• Focus on a Specific Theme: Choose a specific theme or topic that reveals something meaningful about you. Avoid trying to cover too many aspects of your life, as this can dilute the impact of your essay.
• Use Concrete Details: Paint a vivid picture by incorporating concrete details and sensory imagery. This not only makes your narrative more engaging but also helps readers connect with your experiences.

Common Mistakes to Avoid in College Essays:

• Clichés and Generic Statements: Avoid clichéd expressions and generic statements about wanting to 'make a difference' or 'help people.' Instead, provide specific examples and personal insights that demonstrate your commitment.
• Overloading with Achievements: While it's important to highlight your accomplishments, resist the urge to create a laundry list of achievements. The admissions officer wants to understand the person behind the achievements, so focus on the narrative.
• Ignoring the Prompt: Make sure to address the essay prompt directly and effectively. Straying off-topic or failing to answer the question can be detrimental to your essay's impact.
• Over-Editing and Sterilization: While editing is an essential aspect, be cautious not to over-edit your essay to the point where it loses your unique voice and personality. Avoid making it sound overly formal or robotic.
• Being Overly Controversial: While it's essential to be authentic, avoid controversial or polarizing topics that could alienate your readers. Maintain a respectful and constructive formal tone throughout.

Writing a Personal Narrative Essay for High School

High school is a pivotal time in a student's life, marked by personal growth and self-discovery. Personal narrative essays play a crucial role in this journey, allowing students to reflect, explore, and express themselves. In this section, our nursing essay writer will delve into how to write a personal narrative essay for high school and offer some inspiring ideas for essay topics.

Importance of Personal Narrative Essays in High School:

• Self-Reflection: High school is a period of self-discovery, and personal narrative essays provide a platform for students to reflect on their experiences, values, and beliefs as the student writes. It encourages introspection and helps students gain a deeper understanding of themselves.
• Developing Writing Skills: Writing personal narrative essays enhances students' writing skills. It encourages them to focus on storytelling, structure, and language, all of which are essential for effective communication.
• Building Empathy: Sharing personal stories allows students to connect with their peers on a deeper level. It fosters empathy and understanding as students learn about each other's experiences and perspectives.
• Boosting Confidence: Successfully crafting a personal narrative essay can boost a student's confidence in their writing abilities. It's a tangible accomplishment that showcases their storytelling prowess.
• College and Career Preparation: Strong writing skills are invaluable in college and the professional world. Personal narrative essays help students develop these skills, preparing them for future academic and career challenges.

Ideas for a Personal Essay Topics for High School Students:

• A Defining Moment: Write about a moment in your life that significantly influenced your beliefs or perspective. You can draw inspiration from a philosophical paper example as well.
• An Unforgettable Trip: Share the story of a memorable journey, whether it's a family vacation, a school field trip, or a solo adventure.
• A Personal Challenge: Reflect on a time when you faced adversity and how it shaped your character.
• Friendship: Explore the dynamics of a meaningful friendship, delving into the highs and lows of your relationship.
• A Lesson Learned: Write about a mistake you made and the valuable lesson you gained from it.
• A Family Tradition: Discuss a cherished family tradition and its significance in your life.
• Overcoming Fear: Describe an experience where you conquered a fear or phobia, showcasing your resilience.
• An Unexpected Encounter: Share a story about a chance meeting or encounter that had a lasting impact on you.
• A Milestone Achievement: Reflect on a significant accomplishment in your life and the journey that led to it.
• A Cultural Experience: Explore an experience that introduced you to a new culture or perspective, emphasizing what you learned from it.

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Striking the Balance Between Intimacy and Formality

In this section, our personal writer will explore the potential pitfalls, the importance of professionalism, strategies for achieving balance, and the key to striking the right tone in your essay.

The Risk of Oversharing

Personal essays invite readers into your inner world, but there is a risk of oversharing, divulging too much personal information, or making readers uncomfortable. It's crucial to remember that while such essays can be intimate, they should still respect boundaries and maintain a sense of decorum. Avoid sharing details that are overly personal or irrelevant to the essay's central theme.

Maintaining Professionalism

Even as you reveal personal experiences and emotions, professionalism remains essential in this kind of essay, especially in academic or professional contexts. This means adhering to grammar and style conventions, avoiding slang or overly casual language, and presenting your ideas with clarity and coherence. Remember, your goal is to connect with your readers while maintaining a level of respect and decorum.

Strategies for Balancing Personal and Formal Elements:

Balancing intimacy and formality is an art. Here are some strategies to help you achieve this balance:

• Set Clear Boundaries: Before you start writing, determine the boundaries of what you're willing to share. Be mindful of what is relevant to your essay's theme and what might be considered oversharing.
• Use the Right Tone: Adjust your tone to suit the purpose and audience of your essay. If it's for a college application, maintain a respectful and professional tone. If it's a personal blog post, you may have more freedom to be casual.
• Incorporate Reflection: Pair personal anecdotes with reflective analysis. Explain why the experiences you're sharing are relevant and what they reveal about you or the broader theme.
• Seek Feedback: Share your essay with others, such as peers, teachers, or mentors, to gauge whether it strikes the right balance between intimacy and formality.

How to Write a Good Personal Essay with the Right Tone:

Achieving the right tone is crucial for success. Consider the following tips:

• Know Your Audience: Understand who will be reading your essay and adjust your tone accordingly. Tailor your approach to resonate with your specific audience.
• Start with a Strong Hook: Begin your essay with an engaging introduction that sets the tone for the rest of the piece.
• Stay True to Yourself: While maintaining professionalism, don't lose your unique voice and perspective. Be genuine and authentic in your writing.
• Edit and Revise: After writing, revise your essay for tone. Ensure that your language and style align with your desired tone and message.
• Read Widely: Read personal narrative essay examples by renowned authors to gain insight into how tone is effectively employed in this genre.

In this comprehensive article, we've embarked on a journey through the world of personal essays. We've explored their definition and characteristics, dissected the key steps for crafting a standout essay, and delved into their importance in both high school and college. From tips for making your college essay shine to strategies for striking the balance between intimacy and formality, we've covered it all. If you ever require guidance or find yourself uncertain, don't hesitate to reach out; we're here to assist with your ' write my papers ' requests!

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How to write the tmdsas personal characteristics essay.

Reviewed by:

Jonathan Preminger

Former Admissions Committee Member, Hofstra-Northwell School of Medicine

Reviewed: 6/23/23

Applying through the TMDSAS? Read on to learn more about personal characteristics essays for TMDSAS schools! 

If you’re preparing to apply to medical school, you’re probably familiar with AMCAS . However, if you’re planning to apply to medical, dental, or veterinary school in Texas, you’ll need to apply using the Texas Medical & Dental Schools Application Service (TMDSAS) .

On top of your personal statement, you’ll need to write a personal characteristics essay. We’ll highlight everything you need to know about the TMDSAS personal characteristics essay and how to craft a narrative that maximizes your chances of getting accepted into your dream Texas medical school .

Get The Ultimate Guide on Writing an Unforgettable Personal Statement

Purpose of the TMDSAS ‍

Texas is a large and populous state; the purpose of the TMDSAS is to provide a centralized application service for Texas-only medical, dental, and veterinary schools. 

In fact, the TMDSAS pre-dates the AMCAS! The following medical schools participate in the TMDSAS network:

• The Baylor College of Medicine
• The Long School of Medicine at UT Health San Antonio
• The McGovern Medical School at UT Health Houston
• The Sam Houston State University College of Osteopathic Medicine
• The Texas A&M College of Medicine
• The Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center Paul L. Foster School of Medicine at El Paso
• The Texas Tech University Health Science Center School of Medicine at Lubbock
• The University of Houston College of Medicine
• The University of North Texas Health Science Center Texas College of Osteopathic Medicine
• The University of Texas at Austin Dell Medical School
• The University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston
• The University of Texas Rio Grande Valley School of Medicine
• The University of Texas Southwestern Medical School

Two Texas medical schools don’t participate in the TMDSAS:

• The TCU and UNTHSC School of Medicine requires applicants to use the AMCAS .
• The University of the Incarnate Word School of Osteopathic Medicine requires applicants to use AACOMAS . 

Be sure to stay up-to-date with Texas medical school application procedures and visit the school websites to use the correct application portal.

TMDSAS Essay Overview ‍

Like AMCAS , the TMDSAS also requires a personal statement. The TMDSAS requires a personal characteristics essay and allows candidates to write an additional optional essay. 

The personal characteristics essay is unique to TMDSAS, so let’s highlight some key information, such as its purpose, tips on how to write a compelling narrative, and sample personal characteristics essays that thoroughly answer the prompt.

Purpose of the TMDSAS Personal Characteristics Essay

The TMDSAS personal characteristics essay must be 2,500 characters or fewer (including spaces). Applicants must respond to the following prompt:

“Learning from others is enhanced in educational settings that include individuals from diverse backgrounds and experiences. Please describe your personal characteristics (background, talents, skills, etc.) or experiences that would add to the educational experience of others.”

The way this prompt is worded might sound confusing and challenging, but we can simplify it – you can think of this as a diversity essay . Diversity has different contexts for this prompt. These may include your: 

• Unique background (ethnic, racial, socioeconomic, etc.) 
• Perspectives
• Ideas, talents, or skills
• Experiences
• Critical thinking

A strong personal characteristics essay connects your diverse background to medical school and illustrates how your peers, program, and the medical school can benefit from your diversity. 

Every entering class consists of diverse students with differing cultures, upbringings, socioeconomic statuses, birthplaces, educational experiences, and more. A diverse student body can expose students to new perspectives, insights, and information. 

This student body can challenge one another to grow, empathize with others, and foster a global mindset that is open, accepting, and critical in medicine. This is the heart of the personal characteristics essay, and what medical schools are looking for in future leaders – how will you add diversity and value to the class? 

How to Write the TMDSAS Personal Characteristics Essay

The TMDSAS personal characteristics essay is only 2,500 characters, including spaces, so every word must count. Here are tips for writing a strong and compelling personal characteristics essay:

1. Brainstorm Ideas That Demonstrate Your Diversity

Brainstorming is an effective technique to recall memories and experiences you can write about. You aren’t editing or revising your thoughts; don’t worry about grammar, structure, or spelling at this stage. 

You simply want to write down every idea that comes to you that may be relevant to your narrative. Here’s a list of questions to get started with thinking about diversity:

• Who are you at your core, and what experience(s) defined you?
• How do you identify yourself?
• Where did you grow up, and what was it like to live there?
• What was your family like?
• What have you done or experienced that shaped who you are today?
• Have you traveled abroad?
• Have you learned another language?
• Did you serve in the military?
• Have you volunteered in your community?
• Are you a part of any teams, groups, or organizations?
• Have you suffered or had to overcome disability, injury, or illness?
• Have you been a caregiver for someone with a disability or illness?
• Have you had to face and overcome rejection?
• Have you been bullied? How did you overcome it?

2. Pick Your Most Meaningful Anecdotes

After brainstorming, pick one to three stories that fulfill the prompt and are meaningful in your pursuit of medicine. Remember, you don’t want to choose similar experiences to those outlined in your personal statement! 

3. Outline the Structure of Your Essay

Create an outline to structure and organize your essay. Although the personal characteristics essay is relatively short, you want your narrative to flow. 

The essay should have an introduction, a body, and a conclusion:

4. Write Your First Draft 

After completing your outline, begin writing your first draft. Your tone should be professional yet conversational – you don’t want to be too stiff or casual.

It’s important to show rather than tell; instead of writing “I am compassionate,” tell a story that conveys your compassion. Remember, your first draft doesn’t have to be perfect, and it may even exceed the word limit the first time – changes can be made in the next step. 

5. Edit Your Work 

Review your first draft for spelling, grammar, clarity, and sentence structure errors. If there are weak sentences, cross them out and rewrite them. You can also check for concision – does every word serve a purpose? Eliminate wordy phrases to leave more room for rich descriptions. 

The introduction should flow seamlessly to the body and the body to the conclusion. Another pair of eyes can help provide a fresh perspective on your work – consider an admissions counselor’s help to ensure your writing aligns with what Texan med schools seek! 

TMDSAS Personal Characteristics Essay Examples

Here are some personal characteristics essay samples to help inspire you as you write your own drafts:

TMDSAS Essay Example #1 

Here’s the first TMDSAS essay example: 

“Being South Asian, I have firsthand knowledge of what it means not to access basic healthcare. As a child, my mother took me to Pakistan every year, where I spent summers with my grandfather, a top pediatrician in the nation. He had a free clinic attached to his home in Faisalabad, and his practice was so renowned and respected that people from all over the country would travel great distances to have my grandfather treat their children.  Pakistan is a developing country where a significant part of the population remains illiterate and uneducated due to the lack of resources and opportunities. This population is the most vulnerable, with extremely high numbers of infectious disease and mortality rates. Yet, it is entirely underserved. With the lack of hospitals, clinics, and doctor’s offices in rural Pakistan, parents of ailing children must travel great distances and wait in long lines to receive proper healthcare.  Every summer at my grandfather’s clinic, from ages five to seventeen, my job was to open the doors to long lines of tired, hungry, and thirsty parents with their sick children. I would pass out bottled water and pieces of fruit. I would record names, where the patients came from, and reasons for their visit. I would scurry back inside with the information for my grandfather to assess, and then he’d send me running back out again to let the next family inside. I learned in my formative years how to communicate with diverse patient populations with special needs and lack of basic necessities. I learned to listen to every family’s unique reasons for their visit, and some of their desperation and pleading for the lives of their children will stay with me forever. When I get into medical school, I hope to share the story of how Gulzarah carried her dehydrated daughter for twelve miles in the Pakistani summer heat without rest (thanks to my grandfather, she later made a full recovery). I want to tell my peers that doctors like my grandfather are not only healers in biology but healers in spirit when he made up heroic songs for the children and sang the fear out of their hearts. I want to show my peers that patients are unique individuals who have suffered and sacrificed to trust us with their healthcare, so we must honor their trust by providing quality treatment and empathy. My formative experiences in pediatrics contributed to my globally conscious mindset, and I look forward to sharing these diverse insights in my medical career.”  This essay connects the writer’s ethnic background and experiences interacting with underserved patients.  The communication skills they learned, their experiences with diverse individuals, and the stories patients shared with them will allow them to add diversity to the incoming class while sharing new insights and perspectives with their peers.  

TMDSAS Essay Example #2

This diversity essay example was adapted from a personal statement but still checks the boxes to showcase the author’s experiences and interests:

“Hatha yoga emphasizes the ability to sculpt the human form into a fit, healthy, balanced vehicle for self-awareness and discovery…My instructor, John, encouraged me to push myself further until full splits and headstands could be achieved with ease. Yoga therapy and instruction became a way for me to connect to people in many aspects of my life…  I cherish the diversity I encounter. It is what excites and motivates me. My study of yoga grew from my interest in exploring the philosophies of Eastern cultures. Traveling, mostly independently, to over 20 countries and living in Germany challenged me to continuously learn more about the diverse world around me. Ordinary tasks such as getting water and preparing food can become unique challenges as different modes of operation and cultural differences come into play. Incorporating “sanuk,” the Thai description for playful contentment, became a key tool for overcoming the obstacles of traveling alone in Asia.  Living abroad afforded me the opportunity to learn a language in a shorter time than studying in an English-speaking environment. Having studied Spanish and German encouraged me to be precise in the messages I want to convey. As I continue to travel, I am touched by the sincere desire and efforts of people to improve their English speaking skills. This invigorated my desire, and I find myself jumping at the opportunity to practice my language skills. These experiences will be valuable resources in establishing trust and building thoughtful communication with patients… Since college, I have been committed to volunteer work as a means of improving social conditions and quality of life. As a therapist, I offered massages and yoga instruction to low-income individuals in exchange for donations to Habit for Humanity and Doctors Without Borders. I was able to raise hundreds of dollars for these organizations while providing massages to people who would ordinarily not be able to afford such services. …Observing work done in hospitals in India provided an insight into the ways in which I can incorporate a desire to work in underserved communities into my career as a physician… Though the path I have chosen may be arduous at times, my practice of yoga, meditation, and mindfulness will help keep my own physical and emotional health in balance. It is this integrated balance, along with a sincere desire to help people, that I have to share with my community and the medical profession.”  This diversity essay showcases the writer’s passion for yoga and how their pursuit of new experiences in new places invigorates them. While they connect their travels and other experiences to how it will help them become a better doctor, they could have been more direct about what they could teach their peers. 

TMDSAS Essay Example #3  

Here’s another TMDSAS personal characteristics essay sample : 

“I grew up in a household of six, and I am the youngest of four siblings, with two older brothers and one older sister. I spent the first eighteen years of my life living in Cedar Hill, a suburb of Dallas with a population of 50,000 and around 50% of that being Black. All of my siblings played sports, and everyone was very competitive, but in a good way…It was more about doing better than your previous best than being the other person. This was especially true after I became a swimmer in higher school. Before every race, my swim coaches always made sure to tell me that it was me against the clock, not against the people who were swimming around me. It instilled in me a very internally motivated hard work ethic. I want to improve myself because I know that my full potential has not been reached, not because other people are doing better. As a medical student, this will only make me a better doctor, as I will always be striving to become a better caregiver than I was before, whether that means learning more about the body and disease or learning how to become more compassionate so that I can serve my patients to the best of my ability. But hard work is not all that is necessary for success.  My life has been heavily affected by my Blackness. My dad used to give me lessons on what to do if I were stopped by the police. He said that because of the color of my skin, I would have to be as subservient as possible that there was less of a chance of my name becoming another hashtag. When I walked to school, I saw confederate flags flying on people’s houses. I was told, “You’re so lucky you’re black,” referring the the advantage in college admissions people thought I received because of my race, disregarding the struggles that come with growing up black, including the criminalization of Black people. The same criminalization that has a very negative impact on Black people, causing us to see things such as the color of our skin as negative…But because I had such a strong support system and grew up in a family full of Black role models, I did not see my Blackness as a detriment, but something to be celebrated.  It is important and uplifting to see people who look like you as successful. It is even more important that you have a connection with these people, and my Blackness taught me the value of mentorship. If I had not had powerful Black people pouring into me, things would be a lot different. Because mentorship influenced me so much, I became a mentor while at Vanderbilt, leading mentorship organizations such as Project I Am and After School Program. I want to continue to be a mentor and role model as I pursue my career as a doctor, being a positive example for aspiring Black doctors and communities of color in general. Yes, hard work is necessary to succeed, and you will accomplish much by being hard-working, but you need mentors and role models. Everyone needs someone to look up to who will guide, encourage and care for them.”  This essay showcases various aspects of the writer’s background, interests, and insights. They’ve seamlessly tied their home upbringing, racial identity, perspectives on competition, and appreciation for mentorship.  They clearly reference how they want to be a mentor and role model for other doctors who are Black or POC. 

Still have questions about the TMDSAS’ personal characteristics essay? Then check out these FAQs! 

1. What Does Diversity Mean in the TMDSAS Personal Characteristics Essay? 

For the TMDSAS essay, diversity doesn’t only mean racial, ethnic, socioeconomic, or gender diversity. You can broaden the definition and think of any unique event or experience that’s meaningful and shows how your acceptance would benefit your peers.

2. What’s the Difference Between the TMDSAS Personal Statement and Personal Characteristics Essay?

The personal statement addresses why you’re the right candidate for med school. The personal characteristics essay focuses on your diversity and the insights you can bring to the class to educate your peers and add value to the program.

3. What Do I Write About In My Personal Characteristics Essay? 

Ideally, one to three events or experiences are sufficient to answer the prompt. It’s better to have quality over quantity. The essay should be clear, well-organized, and professional. It’s easier to achieve a compelling, coherent essay by focusing on a couple of key ideas.

4. What Should I Avoid in My Personal Characteristics Essay?

Some things to avoid in your TMDSAS essay include rehashing your resume, writing controversial or alienating statements, being overly negative or critical, not editing, using filler words, and lying or embellishing. 

5. What Is the Character Limit of the TMDSAS Essays?

The TMDSAS personal statement is 5,000 characters (including spaces). The TMDSAS personal characteristics essay is 2,500 characters (including spaces). 

Final Thoughts 

The personal characteristics essay is a required TMDSAS component that shares your diversity and how it would enhance the entering class. With our guide, you’re well on your way to crafting a successful TMDSAS personal characteristics essay that showcases your diversity, fit, background, and experiences! 

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Army Leader: Characteristics of LDRSHIP

This essay about the core characteristics of leadership in the Army explores the acronym LDRSHIP, which stands for Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage. Each component is dissected to reveal how these values form the foundation of effective military leadership. Loyalty is seen as a deep-seated devotion to one’s unit and mission, while duty involves taking initiative and striving for excellence. Respect emphasizes valuing and acknowledging the contributions of all members, and selfless service highlights the importance of prioritizing the welfare of others. Honor and integrity are portrayed as central to maintaining ethical standards and moral courage in all actions. Lastly, personal courage is discussed in terms of both physical bravery and the moral fortitude to uphold one’s values, regardless of the risks. Together, these values ensure Army leaders are equipped to lead with confidence and integrity, inspiring their troops and maintaining the legacy of the Army’s excellence.

How it works

In the lexicon of military leadership, the acronym LDRSHIP—standing for Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage—is more than just a collection of ideals; it’s the bedrock upon which Army leaders construct their careers and mold their character. Each component of LDRSHIP combines to form a comprehensive framework that underpins the expectations and responsibilities of leadership in the Army, demanding not just compliance but deep-rooted commitment.

**Loyalty** involves an allegiance that extends beyond the mere following of orders—it’s about a profound sense of devotion to one’s unit, comrades, and the overarching mission.

This loyalty manifests in a leader’s daily actions, in the decisions they make under pressure, and in their steadfastness in the face of adversity. It’s not about blind obedience but about maintaining a moral compass aligned with the values and goals of the Army.

**Duty** is the essence of the role each leader undertakes. It goes beyond fulfilling one’s assigned tasks; it’s about taking initiative, exceeding expectations, and continually striving for excellence. Duty calls for leaders to take ownership of their responsibilities, to stay accountable for their actions, and to ensure that their team functions as a cohesive and effective unit. It is a relentless pursuit of mission completion and organizational effectiveness.

**Respect** is fundamental to the dynamic of any functioning Army unit. It refers not only to the basic human dignity with which leaders treat their peers and subordinates but also to the appreciation of their worth and contributions. Respect in the military context means acknowledging diversity, valuing opinions, and fostering an environment where every soldier feels included and valued, thus strengthening team cohesion and morale.

**Selfless Service** requires leaders to put the welfare of the nation, the Army, and their subordinates before their own. This can mean sacrificing personal time, foregoing personal comfort, or putting one’s own safety at risk in order to protect others. Selfless service is about doing what’s right for the greater good, without seeking personal gain.

**Honor** remains an abstract, yet all-encompassing, element of leadership. It binds the other values together through a commitment to live them consistently and thoroughly. Honor is a guiding light for leaders, a touchstone that ensures their actions align with the ethical standards of the Army. It’s about embodying the values not just in uniform but in all aspects of life.

**Integrity**, perhaps one of the most pivotal traits, calls for honesty and moral courage—doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. For Army leaders, integrity means decisions and actions are consistently based on an inner ethical compass, ensuring that every choice upholds the virtues of honesty and justice, regardless of the consequences.

**Personal Courage** encompasses not only physical bravery but moral courage as well. It’s about facing fear, danger, or adversity, whether on the battlefield or within one’s own internal battlefields of ethical dilemmas. Personal courage involves standing up for what is right and sticking to one’s values even when it might be easier, safer, or more profitable to do otherwise.

These seven core values of LDRSHIP are not merely guidelines but are the foundation of leadership in the Army. They influence how leaders behave and make decisions, shaping not only their own destinies but also those of the men and women they lead. The application of these principles ensures that Army leaders are equipped to face any challenge with both confidence and integrity. Through these values, leaders inspire trust and admiration from their troops, forge resilient teams capable of overcoming any adversity, and continue the legacy of excellence that defines the United States Army. In doing so, they exemplify the highest ideals of service to a cause greater than themselves.

Remember, this essay is a starting point for inspiration and further research. For more personalized assistance and to ensure your essay meets all academic standards, consider reaching out to professionals at [EduBirdie](https://edubirdie.com/?utm_source=chatgpt&utm_medium=answer&utm_campaign=essayhelper).

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Army Leader: Characteristics of LDRSHIP. (2024, May 01). Retrieved from https://papersowl.com/examples/army-leader-characteristics-of-ldrship/

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PapersOwl.com. (2024). Army Leader: Characteristics of LDRSHIP . [Online]. Available at: https://papersowl.com/examples/army-leader-characteristics-of-ldrship/ [Accessed: 2 May. 2024]

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"Army Leader: Characteristics of LDRSHIP," PapersOwl.com , 01-May-2024. [Online]. Available: https://papersowl.com/examples/army-leader-characteristics-of-ldrship/. [Accessed: 2-May-2024]

PapersOwl.com. (2024). Army Leader: Characteristics of LDRSHIP . [Online]. Available at: https://papersowl.com/examples/army-leader-characteristics-of-ldrship/ [Accessed: 2-May-2024]

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