what others think of me essay

The New York Times

Opinionator | i know what you think of me.

I Know What You Think of Me

Anxiety: We worry. A gallery of contributors count the ways.

Recently I received an e-mail that wasn’t meant for me, but was about me. I’d been cc’d by accident. This is one of the darker hazards of electronic communication, Reason No. 697 Why the Internet Is Bad — the dreadful consequence of hitting “reply all” instead of “reply” or “forward.” The context is that I had rented a herd of goats for reasons that aren’t relevant here and had sent out a mass e-mail with photographs of the goats attached to illustrate that a) I had goats, and b) it was good. Most of the responses I received expressed appropriate admiration and envy of my goats, but the message in question was intended not as a response to me but as an aside to some of the recipient’s co-workers, sighing over the kinds of expenditures on which I was frittering away my uncomfortable income. The word “oof” was used.

I’ve often thought that the single most devastating cyberattack a diabolical and anarchic mind could design would not be on the military or financial sector but simply to simultaneously make every e-mail and text ever sent universally public. It would be like suddenly subtracting the strong nuclear force from the universe; the fabric of society would instantly evaporate, every marriage, friendship and business partnership dissolved. Civilization, which is held together by a fragile web of tactful phrasing, polite omissions and white lies, would collapse in an apocalypse of bitter recriminations and weeping, breakups and fistfights, divorces and bankruptcies, scandals and resignations, blood feuds, litigation, wholesale slaughter in the streets and lingering ill will.

This particular e-mail was, in itself, no big deal. Tone is notoriously easy to misinterpret over e-mail, and my friend’s message could have easily been read as affectionate head shaking rather than a contemptuous eye roll. It’s frankly hard to parse the word “oof” in this context. And let’s be honest — I am terrible with money, but I’ve always liked to think of this as an endearing foible. What was surprisingly wounding wasn’t that the e-mail was insulting but simply that it was unsympathetic. Hearing other people’s uncensored opinions of you is an unpleasant reminder that you’re just another person in the world, and everyone else does not always view you in the forgiving light that you hope they do, making all allowances, always on your side. There’s something existentially alarming about finding out how little room we occupy, and how little allegiance we command, in other people’s heads.

This experience is not a novelty of the information age; it’s always been available to us by the accident of overhearing a conversation at the wrong moment. I’ve written essays about friends that I felt were generous and empathetic, which they experienced as devastating. I’ve also been written about, in ways I could find no fault with but that were nonetheless excruciating for me to read. It is simply not pleasant to be objectively observed — it’s like seeing a candid photo of yourself online, not smiling or posing, but simply looking the way you apparently always do, oblivious and mush-faced with your mouth open. It’s proof that we are visible to others, that we are seen, in all our naked silliness and stupidity.

Needless to say, this makes us embarrassed and angry and damn our betrayers as vicious two-faced hypocrites. Which, in fact, we all are. We all make fun of one another behind one another’s backs, even the people we love. Of course we do — they’re ridiculous. Anyone worth knowing is inevitably also going to be exasperating: making the same obvious mistakes over and over, dating imbeciles, endlessly relapsing into their dumb addictions and self-defeating habits, blind to their own hilarious flaws and blatant contradictions and fiercely devoted to whatever keeps them miserable. (And those few people about whom there is nothing ridiculous are by far the most preposterous of all.)

Although sometimes, let’s just admit, we’re simply being mean. A friend of mine described the time in high school when someone walked up behind her while she was saying something clever at that person’s expense as the worst feeling she had ever had — and not just because of the hurt she’d inflicted on someone else but because of what it forced her to see about herself. That she made fun of people all the time, people who didn’t deserve it, who were beneath her in the social hierarchy, just to ingratiate herself or make herself seem funny or cool.

Another friend once shared with me one of the aphorisms of 12-step recovery programs: “What other people think of you is none of your business.” Like a lot of wisdom, this sounds at first suspiciously similar to idiotic nonsense; obviously what other people think of you is your business, it’s your main job in life to try to control it, to do tireless P.R. and spin control for yourself. Every woman who ever went out with you must pine for you forever. Those who rejected you must regret it. You must be loved, respected — above all, taken seriously! They who mocked you will rue the day! The problem is that this is insane — the psychology of dictators who regard all dissent as treason, and periodically order purges to ensure unquestioning loyalty. It’s no way to run a country.

THE operative fallacy here is that we believe that unconditional love means not seeing anything negative about someone, when it really means pretty much the opposite: loving someone despite their infuriating flaws and essential absurdity. “Do I want to be loved in spite of ?” Donald Barthelme writes in his story “Rebecca” about a woman with green skin. “Do you? Does anyone? But aren’t we all, to some degree?”

We don’t give other people credit for the same interior complexity we take for granted in ourselves, the same capacity for holding contradictory feelings in balance, for complexly alloyed affections, for bottomless generosity of heart and petty, capricious malice. We can’t believe that anyone could be unkind to us and still be genuinely fond of us, although we do it all the time.

Years ago a friend of mine had a dream about a strange invention; a staircase you could descend deep underground, in which you heard recordings of all the things anyone had ever said about you, both good and bad. The catch was, you had to pass through all the worst things people had said before you could get to the highest compliments at the very bottom. There is no way I would ever make it more than two and a half steps down such a staircase, but I understand its terrible logic: if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known.

Tim Kreider is the author of “We Learn Nothing,” a collection of essays and cartoons.

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Tiny Buddha’s Breaking Barriers to Self-Care

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.” ~Winston Churchill

I often play a little game with myself when I’m feeling bad . The game is a simple one, and maybe one that some people might find slightly morbid, but it cuts to the heart of the matter.

I ask myself if this thing that is making me feel bad will matter to me when I’m on my deathbed. Ninety-nine percent of the time the answer is no .

The things that matter to us when we’re contemplating our demise are the things that are actually important like, Did I love enough? and, Did I do all of the things I wanted to do?

No one on their deathbed has ever said, “Man, I really wish I hadn’t stumbled over my words during that job interview.” Or, “I wonder why no one complimented me at that party when I was twenty-two.”

We spend a lot of our time worrying about things that won’t matter to us later.

You might be thinking, but it matters to me now, and it does. But there are two reasons why it shouldn’t: The first is that worrying is counterproductive, and the second is that worrying about what other people think of you doesn’t serve you.

Worrying is the most impractical way to use your energy. There has never been a time when worrying if so-and-so would like you, give you the job, or want to be your partner in life contributed to you getting what you want.

Not only does this not solve your problems, it typically leads to anxiety and overwhelm.

When things are outside of our perceived control, like when we’re meeting people for the first time, worry kicks in.

Our minds are wired for negativity—an evolutionary tool designed to keep us safe. But today, this process doesn’t serve us. We’re not meeting bears that might kill us at the event tonight, but our bodies are responding as if we were.

Just like anything that isn’t serving us, worry can act as a signpost for where we need to dig more deeply into ourselves.

Worrying about what other people think about you is a key indicator that you do not feel whole without the approval of others.

You’re looking outside of yourself to fill something only you can fill. No amount of approval from an outside source will ever make you feel whole. You’ll get it once and need it again and again and again. It’s an addictive cycle that turns you away from yourself.

I remember when I began dating in my early twenties. I was super nervous because I wanted to make a good impression on whoever I was going out with. I was so focused on appearing likable that I didn’t even consider whether or not I liked him .

This, in the simplest of terms, is disempowerment.

We disempower ourselves when we’re more concerned with how other people perceive us than we are about how we perceive ourselves.

When you are truly content with who you are, you stop being concerned with whether or not other people like you.

You deserve to live your life for you instead of chasing an ideal your mind has created.

You deserve to discover who you truly are, and show that incredible person to the world.

You deserve to have people around you who love and admire you for who you are instead of who you are trying to be.

There are two techniques that have alleviated my worry about what others think of me. The first is my breathwork practice, a powerful active meditation that gives me clarity, connection to my deeper self, and lightness of being.

The second is mindfulness , the act of being conscious and nonjudgmental of my thoughts. Once I’m aware of my thought process, I work on actively shifting my focus to something that serves me.

I recently went through a shocking breakup. It was shocking because the person I had been dating led me to believe he was committed to me, and we were planning our futures together.

Without warning, he decided he didn’t want that. Of course, there is a natural grieving process when we lose someone we love dearly, but part of my challenge has been letting go of what he thinks about me now.

I will have thoughts about how he doesn’t hold me in the high regard he once did, and it will leave me feeling deflated.

In these moments, I am disempowering myself. I am allowing his thoughts about me to matter, and they shouldn’t.

It’s not that we shouldn’t ever care about what people think about us, but we should care what we think about ourselves first. So in these moments I ask myself who I am and place my attention there.

If he doesn’t think I’m amazing anymore, it doesn’t matter, because I know I am .

We disempower ourselves far too often. A simple shift in our thinking can bring us into connection with the truth.

When you find yourself concerned about what someone thinks about you, bring the focus back to yourself. If you’re thinking, “I hope she doesn’t think I’m a flake.” Ask yourself, “Am I a flake?” If you know the answer is no, then you’re good. Release it and move on.

If the answer is yes, then take note and forgive yourself for it.

When you spend time wondering how other people perceive you, you create stories that are often far from the truth. In order to change, we have to be able to see ourselves, accept who we are by giving ourselves love, and then make new choices.

Worrying about everyone else’s possible thoughts doesn’t contribute to positive transformation.

When I’m on my deathbed, the people who are going to matter to me are the ones who chose me, the ones who really saw me, the people who chose to give me love even when I fumbled.

These are the people who matter.

And it will matter to me that I lived a life I was proud of, that I was able to get to know myself and share that person with the people I love.

So, you have to learn to be your own advocate. You have to stop giving your power away to other people.

Like meditation practice, each time your mind wanders to the thoughts of other people, bring it right on back to yourself. Fill up that void with your own love. Stand in your own power. Show people who you really are, unapologetically.

Don’t wait for someone else’s permission to be amazing. If they don’t see it in you, it doesn’t matter.

The truth is that if they don’t see it in you, it’s because they don’t see it in themselves.

We are all acting as mirrors for one another. Don’t try to be the broken version of someone else. Be the best version of yourself and your own biggest fan.

About Michelle D'Avella

Michelle D’Avella is an author, Breathwork teacher and mentor. Her memoir, The Bright Side of a Broken Heart is available here . Download her FREE guide to heal your heart and follow her on Instagram for daily doses of inspiration.

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No One Cares!

Our fears about what other people think of us are overblown and rarely worth fretting over.

An illustration of a cross-section of a person's head, in which their brain is full of smiley faces and speech bubbles

“ How to Build a Life ” is a weekly column by Arthur Brooks, tackling questions of meaning and happiness. Click here to listen to his new podcast series on all things happiness, How to Build a Happy Life .

A friend of mine once shared what I considered a bit of unadulterated wisdom: “If I wouldn’t invite someone into my house, I shouldn’t let them into my head.” But that’s easier said than done. Social media has opened up our heads so that just about any trespasser can wander in. If you tweet whatever crosses your mind about a celebrity, it could quite possibly reach the phone in her hand as she sits on her couch in her house.

The real problem isn’t technology—it’s human nature. We are wired to care about what others think of us. As the Roman Stoic philosopher Marcus Aurelius observed almost 2,000 years ago, “We all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own,” whether they are friends, strangers, or enemies.

This tendency may be natural, but it can drive us around the bend if we let it. If we were perfectly logical beings, we would understand that our fears about what other people think are overblown and rarely worth fretting over. But many of us have been indulging this bad habit for as long as we can remember, so we need to take deliberate steps to change our minds.

Want to stay current with Arthur's writing? Sign up to get an email every time a new column comes out.

P aying attention to the opinions of others is understandable and, to a certain extent, rational. As the philosopher Richard Foley argues in his book Intellectual Trust in Oneself and Others , you trust your own opinions; your opinions are saturated with and shaped by those of others who are similar to you; therefore, you trust their opinions as well, whether you want to or not. Thus, if one of your co-workers says, “ Squid Game is really great ,” your opinion of the show will probably rise, at least a little bit.

Other people’s influence on your opinions about the world pales in comparison to their influence on your opinion of yourself. Evolution neatly explains why: For virtually all of human history, humans’ survival depended on membership in close-knit clans and tribes. Before the modern structures of civilization, such as police and supermarkets, being cast out from your group meant certain death from cold, starvation, or predators. This can easily explain why our sense of well-being includes others’ approbation, as well as why the human brain has evolved to activate the same neural substrates when we experience physical pain and when we face social rejection.

Read: People don’t actually know themselves very well

Unfortunately, the instinct to want the approval of others is woefully maladapted to modern life. Where once you would have justifiably felt the terror of being expelled onto the frozen tundra, today you might suffer acute anxiety that strangers online will “cancel” you for an ill-considered remark, or passersby will snap a photo of a poor outfit choice and mock it on Instagram for all to see.

In the worst cases, anxiety about the approval of others can blow up into a debilitating fear, a diagnosable psychological condition called “ allodoxaphobia .” Even if it doesn’t become a mental illness, worrying about the opinions of others can lower your basic competence in ordinary tasks, such as making decisions. When you are thinking about what to do in a particular situation—say, whether to speak up in a group—a network in your brain that psychologists call the “ behavioral inhibition system ” (BIS) is naturally activated , which allows you to assess the situation and decide how to act (with a particular focus on the costs of acting inappropriately). When you have enough situational awareness, the BIS is deactivated and the “behavioral activation system” (BAS), which focuses on rewards, kicks in. But research from 2013 shows that concern about the opinions of others can keep BIS active, impairing your ability to take action. If you always leave an interaction kicking yourself over what you should have said—but didn’t—it may indicate that you are being unduly influenced by concern over what others think.

Read: To be happy, hide from the spotlight

One reason we fear others’ opinions is because negative assessments can lead to shame, which is the feeling of being deemed worthless, incompetent, dishonorable, or immoral—and thus, given the weight we place on others’ opinions, feeling this way about ourselves. Fearing shame makes sense, because research clearly shows that feeling it is both a symptom of and a trigger for depression and anxiety. People will go to a lot of effort to avoid shame, which can explain behaviors such as virtue signaling on social media and giving money to strangers .

J ust because our overconcern for other people’s opinions of us is natural doesn’t mean that it’s inevitable. The right goal for flourishing is not a complete disregard for the opinions of others. That would be abnormal and dangerous; this tendency could lead to “hubris syndrome” or even be evidence of antisocial personality disorder . But many of us could become better off if we learned to care a good deal less than we do. I recommend taking three steps.

1. Remind yourself that no one cares .

The ironic thing about feeling bad about ourselves because of what people might think of us is that others actually have much fewer opinions about us—positive or negative—than we imagine. Studies show that we consistently overestimate how much people think about us and our failings, leading us to undue inhibition and worse quality of life. Perhaps your followers or neighbors would have a lower opinion of you if they were thinking about you—but they probably aren’t. Next time you feel self-conscious, notice that you are thinking about yourself. You can safely assume that everyone around you is doing more or less the same.

Read: The link between self-reliance and well-being

2. Rebel against your shame.

Because a fear of shame is frequently what lurks behind an excessive interest in others’ opinions, we should confront our shame directly. Sometimes a bit of shame is healthy and warranted, such as when we say something hurtful to another person out of spite or impatience. But often it is frankly ridiculous, such as being ashamed for, say, accidentally leaving your fly unzipped.

Several years ago, I was nearing the end of my first 90-minute graduate class of the year and realized I had given the entire lecture with my fly unzipped. There was absolutely no chance that anyone hadn’t noticed. Afterward, I realized something odd: I felt liberated—not liberated to do it again, obviously, but from the fear of what might happen if I accidentally did something terribly embarrassing in class. After the fly incident, I couldn’t imagine anything worse happening, and as a result I relaxed and had a great semester. I am not recommending that you walk around with your fly down on purpose. But ask yourself: What am I hiding that I’m a little embarrassed about? Resolve not to hide it anymore, and decimate the useless shame holding you back.

3. Stop judging others.

“Judge not, that ye be not judged,” Jesus taught . “Whoever judges others digs a pit for themselves,” the Buddha said . Maybe you think you’ll face God’s punishment or karmic justice for holding harsh opinions of others, but these lessons are just as important while we’re on Earth. To judge others is to acknowledge a belief that people can, in fact, legitimately judge one another; thus, it is an implicit acceptance of others’ judgment of you .

Read: Americans are still pretty judge-y

The way to free yourself from this belief is to stop judging others, and, when you accidentally do so, to remind yourself that you might well be wrong. Try this experiment: Set a day in the coming week when you resolve to judge nothing, and instead merely observe. Instead of “This rain is terrible,” say, “It is raining.” Instead of “That guy who cut me off in traffic is a jerk,” say, “That guy must be in a hurry.” It will be difficult, but strangely refreshing. You will have relieved yourself of the burden of constant judging—and thus be less worried about getting judged.

I n the Tao Te Ching , Lao Tzu wrote , “Care about people’s approval / and you will be their prisoner.” He no doubt intended it as a dire warning. But as the years have passed, I have come to interpret it as more of a promise and an opportunity.

I have learned that the prison of others’ approval is actually one built by me, maintained by me, and guarded by me. This has led me to my own complementary verse to Lao Tzu’s original: “Disregard what others think and the prison door will swing open.” If you are stuck in the prison of shame and judgment, remember that you hold the key to your own freedom.

When you buy a book using a link on this page, we receive a commission. Thank you for supporting The Atlantic.

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Seeing Yourself as Others See You

Linda Hill & Kent Lineback

In our last blog, we argued that becoming a great boss required courage — in particular, the courage to find out how others see you. Almost certainly, we said, others’ perceptions of you will differ in important and perhaps disconcerting ways from your self-perceptions. Many of you responded with thoughtful comments — thank you! Some […]

In our last blog , we argued that becoming a great boss required courage — in particular, the courage to find out how others see you. Almost certainly, we said, others’ perceptions of you will differ in important and perhaps disconcerting ways from your self-perceptions.

LL Linda A. Hill is the Wallace Brett Donham Professor Business Administration at Harvard Business School. Kent Lineback spent many years as a manager and an executive in business and government. They are the coauthors of Being the Boss: The 3 Imperatives for Becoming a Great Leader (HBR Press, 2011).

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Do You Have Any Idea What Other People Think of You?

A thought experiment: What do your partner’s friends really think about you?

Tasha Eurich — an organizational psychologist and author of a new book, Insight , an overview of her research on self-awareness — recently, and unexpectedly, got a chance to find out. She was out with some good friends, all of whom she originally met through her husband, when one of those friends pulled up a chair for a drunken heart-to-heart. “And she looks at me and she goes, Tasha, I am just so glad Dave brought you into our lives, ” Eurich recalls. “And before I could say, Oh, Theresa, I feel the same way, she continued, and she said, And, man, have you come a long way since we first met you .”

What was that supposed to mean? Her instinct was to let it go and change the subject. “But this was when I was deep within the process of writing this book,” she said. “So I had this moment of — okay, I don’t really want to go down this road, but I probably am professionally obligated to ask her what she means. And so I did.” She probed a little, and, “sparing you some of the gory details, when she and I first met, I was 26, and I had just graduated with my Ph.D. — and I thought I was hot shit. Apparently, I thought I was a little bit hotter shit than I actually was.” Her friend was embarrassed and apologetic — “She kept saying over and over, Oh, but you’re so much better now, you’re so much better now! ” — but Eurich’s main reaction to this news was curiosity, mixed with a little regret. Why had no one told her until now what a nightmare she’d been back then?

“Even though it’s a funny story, and everybody cringes when they hear it, it’s such a powerful example of the idea that if we wait for those moments to come to us we might learn a certain amount about ourselves,” she said. “But what happens if we actually take ownership of seeking that out on our own terms?” In her book, which is out this month, Eurich makes the case for purposefully seeking to increase our understanding of how others view us, even when it’s painful. I recently spoke to Eurich about her book; a lightly edited version of our conversation follows.

Do you find that people tend to assume that they are more self-aware than they really are? Here’s a crazy statistic. My research shows that 95 percent of people think that they’re self-aware. But the real figure is closer to 10 to 15 percent. I always joke that on a good day, 85 percent of us are lying to ourselves about whether we’re lying to ourselves.

That is distressing. Isn’t it?

How did you come up with the 10 to 15 percent figure? We’ve surveyed thousands of people all around the world, who’ve taken our self-awareness scale. [Editor’s note: You can find a shorter version of the scale here .] It’s statements like, “I know what I want out of life” or “I can see themes in how I tend to behave,” and asking people “Do you agree? Do you strongly agree?” So you fill it out, and someone who knows you fills it out. And the 10 to 15 percent — I give a range, because I’m not completely ready to conclude that that’s an exact percentage, but that’s what our research has tended to show.

From my own research as a person who exists in the world, that seems about right. I know. That’s why people laugh when I tell them that — they’re like, Yup. And then the inevitable question is — am I one of those 85 percent? And that’s the question that so many people are scared to ask. But if they’d only ask, they would unlock so much potential, and they would have so much more control over their destiny.

I realize your entire book is about how to become more self-aware, so I’m not going to ask you to distill all of that here in this interview. So let me ask you this: What’s the first step to become more self-aware — to seeing yourself the way others see you? The journey to self-awareness is one that lasts a lifetime — it requires courage, energy, and commitment to see ourselves more clearly. And though the process is complex, it always starts with a simple (but not easy) decision: to question our assumptions about ourselves, to take charge and proactively examine how we’re seen, and to pair our quest for the truth with a positive mind-set and self-acceptance. In a nutshell, we start by making the decision to become braver but wiser.

But how much stock should we really be putting in other people’s opinions of us? The way my friend sees me, for example, is still just one way of looking at me, and who’s to say it’s the right way? So, there are two types of self-awareness. There’s something I call internal self-awareness, which is understanding inwardly who am I, what makes me tick, what do I want to do in my life. And there’s another kind called external self-awareness, which is knowing how people see me. And what’s fascinating about those two things is that they are completely unrelated. You can be high in both, you can be low in both, and you can be high in one and not in the other.

Somebody who’s high in internal self-awareness and low on external self-awareness is saying, I know who I am. I don’t care what anybody thinks of me, because I am really in touch with myself — and I’m the only person that matters. And then on the other side of it is someone who is so interested in how they’re seen by others that they don’t necessarily do the work and make the choices that are in their own best interest.

It’s a balancing act between these two types. Sometimes people say things like, Other people’s opinions of me be damned! It doesn’t matter what people think of me! They’re welcome to feel that way, but the second part of their statement isn’t really true — it actually does matter what people think of you. If you want to be successful in your career, if you want to have strong and lasting relationships, if you want to have a happy and fulfilling life, a lot of that is dependent on you understanding how you’re perceived.

Do I think all that matters is what other people think of me? No way. But at the same time, we have to take into consideration both of those pieces of information. People who are the most self-aware are those who are really clear on who they are, but are also willing to question the assumptions they’re making based on what other people are saying.

So on the one hand, it does weird me out a little to think someone else might know me better than I know me. But I also know there is some evidence to suggest that the way other people see us may indeed be more accurate than the way we see ourselves, at least in some contexts. Right? It’s true. Our own internal opinions about ourselves do matter, but there is research showing that the way other people see us is more objective than the way we see ourselves. And other people can also predict our future behavior better than we can. The example I always give is — think of a time when you met one of your best friends’ brand new significant others, and you talk to that person for five minutes, and you say, This relationship is doomed . And then you’re right.

There are just so many things about ourselves that we truly can’t see. Also, other people are just less inclined to see us with rose-colored glasses — they see our behavior more objectively just by being in a different position to view us.

It’s not necessarily that we’re wrong, or ignorant about ourselves. It’s just that sometimes other people can see things more honestly. And that’s why I just think – my gosh, if you’re not getting feedback from people, who knows what you’re going to conclude about yourself? We owe it to ourselves to be objective.

I do feel like I have to ask, though: Is there any argument against self-awareness? People who are deluded about the way others are perceiving them may be wrong, but are they maybe also happier and more confident that way? It’s funny — when I first started working on this, and I was reaching out to one of my researchers on the team we assembled, and one of the first things he said was, Do I even want to be more self-aware? Can’t I just be delusional my whole life?

We ended up taking that seriously as a research question. And what the data has really clearly shown us is that it is always better to know — to see ourselves clearly, to see how other people see us. There’s a lot of research that says when you look at yourself with rose-colored glasses, your relationships are weaker, you’re more poorly thought of than your colleagues, you’re less likely to be promoted.

Right, and the other thing to point out here is that it’s not like it’s always going to be painful, to know what other people think of you. That’s the thing about self-awareness that people don’t always see. It can be very pleasant and very gratifying and it can strengthen your relationships. I would never advise someone to choose blissful ignorance.

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Intellectual Roundtable

Asking — and answering — life's interesting questions

How Do You Think Others See You?

When I turned 30, I asked my friends to provide a one word description of my best feature or my most prominent characteristic. I was curious about what they appreciated about my personality and the way I acted. While I considered myself fairly self-aware, I wanted to know if my friends saw me the same way I saw myself.

Before I started to get responses, I expected that the answers would fall into two or three broad categories. In my own mind, I was smart, I was funny, and I was friendly.

Related: Listen to an episode of the Intellectual Roundtable Podcast, where Lee and Michael discuss this question: ‘How do you think others see you?’ We also discuss another question as well, ‘How can we maintain wonder?’

Once the answers started to roll in, however, I was surprised. In all, I asked maybe 30 people, and I got 30 different answers. While I didn’t expect that every response would be different, the thing that really astonished me was the wide variety of answers. Loyalty, eyes, conversation, creativity, honesty, goofiness. They did not easily fit into the categories I envisioned.

Different people value different things. It took me 30 years to learn this lesson, but it was a major step in expanding my empathy skills. Now I regularly try to view how other people might see the world, including how I fit into it.

I also learned something else from this exercise: every relationship I have is unique. While I might be a constant to my relationships, each person I interact with brings their own personality, their own experiences, their own vantage point to our mutual association.

Which brings me to this week’s question: How do you think others see you? How would you like them to see you? What can you do to change how others see you? Are you externally self-aware?

Related questions: What are our responsibilities to others? What do we have in common? What makes you you? How do you judge yourself?

Spread the word about Intellectual Roundtable:

4 thoughts on “how do you think others see you”.

I consider myself pretty self-aware. However, this question brings up the astute observation that the answers from others would be given through the lenses of who they are, how they see things, and their unique relationships with me. That said, I need to start answering this question with how I see myself, because I can’t easily represent where others are coming from in their relationships with me. Or, at least, the representations would be greatly varied.

People who know me will almost immediately know that I love my wife bunches. They will get that I have a passion for heirloom gardening and taking close up pictures of the plants and the yields it produces. They also will know that I love yoga and distance running, but haven’t practiced either in awhile. They will understand that I have a deep passion for economic and social justice. They will know that I love U2, Wendell Berry, and taking politics. They will also gather that I love to travel. They will know that my bonds of friendship are few, but deep. However, they will see that I love social media, and it is one way that I form new friendships.

In a general sense, I see myself as an awkward person with a weird sense of humor. Some people get that sense of humor; others simply think of me as strange. I could really care less if people think of me as strange; I relish the relationships where people share my sense of humor, or at least play along with it.

I am an introvert. At work I must act extroverted. So I guess I am lucky that I have deeply-held convictions, and I act on these beliefs. That means people know relatively quickly what’s important to me and why. However, when I’m not in the work world, where I find it easy to represent who I am regarding issues of justice, I am deeply-introverted. I find conversations difficult to sink into. My approach is to ask people questions because most people like to talk about themselves, and I am genuinely interested in their answers.

I am a kind-hearted, sensitive guy. And with that I often put a little too much stock in how other see me. This may be my greatest weakness.

I am an authentic and transparent guy. Early on — probably too early on — people will know that I struggle with anxiety and depression. To some, this will simply become apparent; to others I will, quite honestly, simply let it be known.

I think if people were confined to answering this question with just a few words, here is what they would say. Michael: is passionate, transparent, weird (but funny), inquisitive, and stubborn. I love: my wife, working for justice, politics, staying fit, heirloom gardening, photography, and travel.

I think people see me as an avid gardener, kind, friendly and generous with my time and resources. I think people generally appreciate my sense of humor, usually situational and sometimes dry.

I am an extroverted introvert. I can be, and am, very social and outgoing, especially with individuals and groups that I trust. That being said, my extrovert batteries drain very quickly. They usually last for a couple of hours, enough to attend a gathering or event, though I usually become more withdrawn and quieter as the event goes on.

What people don’t see is the constant chronic pain that I deal with, nor the depression that often accompanies it. They don’t see that it takes me twice as long as them to complete seemingly simple tasks, nor that at the end of the day, I sometimes have trouble walking. I try hide or downplay this as I can’t change these aspects of myself, and I want to participate in life. So, I generally push through the pain, as best I can, in public. I also know my limits and try to prioritize, so that important things get done first.

It’s an interesting question, but it’s challenging because it hinges on what it means to “see” someone. Certainly, a lot of people might describe me at the most superficial level: the roles I fill, the work I do, the hobbies I have, the positions I have been outspoken about. But, this is kind of reductive. To paraphrase Chris Columbus’ script from the Breakfast Club: “You see me as you want to see me – in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions.”

It’s hard to answer this question in the abstract. I could hazard a guess that would be somewhere in the ballpark for people I have close relationships with (although I’m sure there are probably some big surprises there as well), but I don’t think there’s one overall way that people see me. We barely know ourselves and most of what we think we know about other people includes a lot of projection. I’ve long believed that what we admire in other people is what we either admire or aspire to in ourselves. What we despise in other people is what we either despise or seek to avoid in ourselves.

Not much of an answer, but it’s what I’ve got.

To some extent, we can see in a person’s facial expression what they think of us. In reading about the brain, I learned that a large part of it is devoted to recognizing faces. We respond to faces emotionally, particularly the eyes. Obviously, this is not an exact science. And some people are better at reading people’s expressions than others are.

What Will Other People Think of Me?

Jane 5 Comments

September 2, 2012

One of the things I have come to realise is one of the main fears that is holding people back from living a fulfilling life is worrying or being fearful about “What will other people think of me?”. Yes, I have been guilty of this in the past as well, however a while back I heard the quote “What other people think of me is none of my business” by Dr Wayne Dyer. That got me reflecting and I journalled… What is it or who is it in me that needs or wants approval?

As I journalled over time, I realised it was more my mind or mind-made identity (ego) that needed approval and cared what other people thought of me more than my true self. My true self or authentic self really had no need for approval from other people and as Byron Katie says, “what I think and what I feel is my business. What you think and what you feel is your business.” When I’m worried about how you feel about me, I’m in your business. And if I’m busy living in your business, how am I present for my own business? Also – worrying about what other people think of you may be saying “Your opinion of me is more important than my opinion of myself.” Don’t get me wrong, I still care about other people and their opinions, however I now value what I think of myself and trust my own intuition alot more than I did.

I wonder what life would look life if we didn’t give other people’s opinions as much energy as we do? Maybe we would have the time and energy to give to our self and reflect on our own opinions of ourselves? For example – am I happy? Am I living in the present or living in the past? Are the decisions I am making for my highest good and for the people around me?

Next time you are worried about what other people think of you – you may like to keep in mind the following quotes:

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~ Dr. Seuss
“‘What will they think of me?’ must be put aside for bliss.” ~ Joseph Campbell
“Patterning your life around others’ opinions is nothing more than slavery.” ~ Lawana Blackwell
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.” ~ Mark Twain
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~ Steve Jobs
“Don’t Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.” ~ Don Miguel Ruiz
“I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinions of himself than on the opinions of others” ~ Marcus Aurelius

If you are ready to reclaim your courage and take the next step towards your freedom and opening your heart , why not join our Toolkit ?

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[…] the secret for many, many years – in books (what I know), achievements (what I do), people (what they think of me) and possessions (what I have). For many years, I also thought I was alone and had a very deep […]

[…] I am what others think of me. My reputation defines me. […]

[…] “Cultivating Authenticity: Letting Go of What People Think […]

[…] What will Other People Think of Me? […]

[…] up my feelings of insufficiency and unworthiness (e.g. not being good enough the way I was), worried what other people would think of me and protecting myself from those vulnerabilities. I definitely did not want to feel these feelings […]

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Worrying About What Others Think? What to Know and What to Do

by Melissa Noel Renzi | Jul 21, 2018 | Anxiety , Highly Sensitive Person

Worrying about what others think can be a painful burden. Here's a practice to release the grip of self-conscious feelings and people-pleasing.

Do you get stuck worrying about what others think? A fellow HSP requested advice on how to stop worrying about what others think of her. I get this question a lot. I want to share what’s helped me personally because, frankly, a lot of advice I hear is too simplistic.

Everyone seeks approval in some way, even those who don’t realize they do. But some of us get more bogged down than others in worrying about what people think.

The woman I referenced above said she was tired of judging herself through the eyes of others and making assumptions about what they think of her. This was a major cause of her anxiety.

Her words struck a chord with me…because I’ve been there. It’s hard to admit, but worrying about what others think has been a source of my own anxiety over the years. It’s taken time to learn how to release this burden.

If you’re seeking approval from others, you may…

People please and avoid conflict to gain acceptance.
Think others say or feel negative things about you.
Find it hard to voice your needs.
Have difficulty even knowing what you want.

I used to worry people would be mad at me if I didn’t do what they wanted me to do. I’d make up stories about what others were thinking.

I felt self-conscious and anxious in so many contexts. I worried others would see the self-doubt that lingered inside me.

When you’re in a constant mindset of seeking validation, it’s easy to start to hate this part of yourself. You might feel out of control because you’re placing your worth in the hands of another. You want to change this pattern, but maybe you’re not sure how.

Why You Worry About What Others Think

As we come into this world, we’re conditioned to seek approval. Validation serves as a survival mechanism that helps us receive nurturing from our caregivers and navigate things like right and wrong and safety versus danger.

But some continue seeking excessive external validation well into adulthood. When you adopt perceptions and moral compasses of those around you, it may feel good to be validated. But then you struggle to hear your true self, which causes you to suffer.

Here’s the thing you need to understand if you’re stuck in this pattern.

When you worry about what others think, an inner dialogue is often happening. Much of the time, the dialogue is with an inner critic who says you’re not good enough. The approval-seeker inside you shows up in an effort to quiet or disprove the critic, so it can say, “I’m good enough!”

These two parts of your psyche are in conflict with one another by nature, but they have something in common. They’re both there to protect you from shame , rejection, humiliation, failure, etc. And the approval-seeker from your childhood continues its job into adulthood if you don’t learn otherwise along the way.

So, what do you do to stop worrying about what others think?

From my experience, trying to will these parts away only makes them more powerful. You have to go deeper into the land of curiosity in understanding these parts to access your higher self.

The steps below are informed, in part, by the Internal Family Systems approach to psychotherapy.

1. Pay attention to how this part of you shows up. Does it agree with others automatically? Does it defer to others for decisions? Does it make up stories of what others are saying? In what situations does this part surface? With what people? Simply start to build the awareness of how this part presents in your life.

2. Get to know the part with this exercise adapted from the IFS model:

If the part shows up at a time when you can take a few minutes of mindfulness, take a moment to practice this exercise. Gently close your eyes and rest in the natural flow of your breath.

Then begin to notice the approval-seeking part of you. You might notice its words, voice, and energy. It may help to visualize this part as a mini version of yourself. As you become aware of its qualities, pay attention to where this part sits in your body and how it feels there.

Notice what you feel toward this part. If you feel something other than curiosity or compassion (frustration, shame, etc.), notice the other parts that may be contributing to those feelings. Acknowledge those parts and ask them if they’re willing to step back for a moment so you can be with the approval-seeking part.

As the other parts step back, begin to grow a sense of curiosity toward the approval-seeking part. What does it want you to know? What is its job? Does it like its role? What is it afraid of?

3. Sit in the space of your higher self. As you practice the exercise above, you may begin to experience more of your accepting, compassionate self that evokes a feeling of peace. Spend some time in that peace feeling your body and noticing that these parts are components of your psyche, but they’re separate from your higher self. The more you can access this higher self, the more you’ll be able to live from a curious, compassionate, and accepting energy.

4. Practice accessing your higher self in everyday situations. When I first began teaching yoga, my head was scattered with performance anxiety . I had trouble keep information straight as I started to practice my teaching skills. I’d constantly feel that I wasn’t worthy of bringing this powerful practice to others. These days I work with the above exercise and similar practices as part of my self-care. By accessing my higher self, I come to my teaching from a place of purpose and showing up for others to support their healing. Practice accessing your higher self in small moments of your daily life, even with tiny decisions. (I just accessed mine when I made the choice to trust my article as is without asking my boyfriend to validate it.)

There are many tips and tools related to boundaries, self-talk, beliefs, and so forth that may support this journey as well. However, my personal path has shown me that learning to access my deepest higher self and understand my various parts is absolutely vital to lasting transformation and self-compassion.

What about you? Have you found a strategy that helps you to let go of worrying about what others think?

Does It Matter What Others Think of You?

“ You should not worry about what others think of you .” – You have probably heard this many times.

But is that really good advice? Is it sign of self-confidence if you do not care about other people’s opinions of you? Is this something to strive for?

What other people think of us has a direct impact on our happiness.

It is normal to care about the opinions others have of us. The impressions we make on others have an important impact on all life domains. They affect our relationships, our professional life, and our well-being in general. Being liked and accepted by others is a basic psychological need.

In other words: being somewhat concerned about what others think of you is perfectly normal and it is even adaptive.

However, this does not mean you cannot overdo it. When these concerns become excessive, you may struggle with social anxiety.

This means that there is a sweet spot of concern: neither too little, nor too much.

Let’s examine this in more detail.

There is a sweet spot of concern for the opinions of others about us.

Impression Management & Self-Representation

People usually keep an eye on how they come across. Most of the time, they do so without trying to generate a particular impression on others, but just to make sure others still hold them in positive regard.

However, sometimes people are motivated to be perceived in a particular way.

The terms impression management and self-representation have been used interchangeably to describe our attempts to influence what other people think of us ( Leary & Kowalski, 1990 ).

Everyone engages in these attempts. Whether you are on a diet, think about what clothes to wear, what to say when meeting new people, or have a job interview – you are trying to be perceived in a specific way.

Everyone engages in impression management. Whether you are on a diet, think about what clothes to wear, what to say when meeting new people, or have a job interview - you are trying to be perceived in a specific way.

This is even true for those who allegedly do not care about what others think of them.

A teenager who dresses provocatively and “always” says what’s on their mind may try to be perceived as someone who is independent of the opinion of others. However, the desire to be perceived this way reveals the exact opposite.

Impression management is an important aspect of our daily lives. We evolved living in groups, strongly depending on being accepted and included by the other members of our tribe.

It was crucial for our survival to be perceived as a valuable member of the community. Those who were not, were excluded from the community and left without any chances of making it on their own.

Sensing when others disapprove of us helps us adjust our behavior, so we can be liked and accepted, land a good job, find an attractive partner, and so on. Self-representation can help us improve our odds of living a happy life.

As you can see, it is helpful to worry about what others think of you. But, what happens when these concerns go overboard?

Impression Motivation & Social Anxiety

When we are motivated to be perceived in a specific way, we can adjust our behavior to obtain the desired result. However, this is not always possible.

You can be motivated to have others think that you are very intelligent, for instance. This may not be a problem for you under normal circumstances.

But if you want to generate this impression on a group of high-achieving academics, you may perceive this as a major challenge and struggle to do so.

When our desire to be seen in a particular way is high, and our confidence in our ability to generate this impression is low, social anxiety is the result.

When we get socially anxious, a vicious cycle can be set in place. We sense that we are anxious, which typically increases our desire to manage our impression. After all, we do not want to be seen as anxious and insecure.

At the same time, our social anxiety makes us feel even less confident in generating the desired impression. If you are anxious, it can be hard to be perceived as capable, intelligent, funny, confident, and so on.

How to Reduce Social Anxiety?

To break this vicious cycle, you may want to use the following questions as a helpful guide:

In what situations do you experience social anxiety?
What is the impression you usually try to generate?
What can you do to improve your confidence in being able to generate this impression?
Why do you think being perceived this way is so important to you?
How can you grow more tolerant of not being perceived this way?
How would you like to handle anxiety in social situations and how can you achieve this?

How you should address your social anxiety depends on numerous variables.

If you only experience it in some specific scenarios, you may be well advised to practice skills that will help you make the desired impression.

For example, if you want to be perceived as knowledgeable, there is nothing wrong with starting to read more and taking classes in the topics of your interest.

If you want to be perceived as a confident public speaker, join toastmasters and practice your public speaking skills.

However, if your social anxiety is more persistent and shows up in many situations, you may need to take a different approach.

Social Anxiety Treatment

In its more severe version, social fears can turn into social anxiety disorder. At this point, the person is significantly impacted by the desire to be perceived in a specific way.

Affected people often stop engaging in normal social activities, like parties, family gatherings, and dating.

Others may refrain from getting a college degree due to the fear of participating in larger groups, or they stay below their professional potential because they shy away from intimidating social duties.

When this is the case, professional help may be warranted. There are a number of therapeutic approaches to social anxiety disorder that have been proven to be effective treatments.

There are a number of therapeutic approaches to social anxiety disorder that have been proven to be effective treatments.

Treatment for social anxiety usually takes about 12 weeks and can lead to significant improvements. Among the most commonly applied approaches are:

cognitive behavioral therapy
psychodynamic therapy
interpersonal therapy
mindfulness-based therapy

However, there are more options for those who do not improve through standard treatment.

For a complete overview, you may want to read our eBook that summarizes the 17 distinct therapeutic approaches to social phobia that have been proven effective. You can click here to be taken to our store, where you can purchase it for immediate download .

Practical Tips for Social Anxiety

For those who do not suffer from social anxiety disorder , but who would like to reduce their social fears regardless, we have put together a couple of practical tips:

Seek repeated exposure to the situations that scare you. Your brain and body will get used to them, and you will learn that there are no serious consequences of not being perceived exactly as you desire. This strategy is an important element of CBT for social anxiety. You can click here to be taken to our introductory guide, which explains how this popular therapy approaches social phobia .
Practice to be perceived exactly in the way you dread . This will increase your tolerance and decrease your social anxiety. Shame attacking exercises work very well for this purpose. If this approach interests you, we recommend that you click here to be taken to our article that explains it in more detail .
Learn and practice deep breathing . It is a practical breathing technique that can help you manage anxiety symptoms as they come up.
Start meditating . Regular mindfulness practice has been shown to change the brain in ways that reduce social anxiety and improve emotional control. Click here to be taken to our comprehensive guide on mindfulness and meditation for social anxiety, which includes guided meditations to get you started .
When you get anxious in social situations, focus your attention on the task at hand , such as paying attention to what is being said, what you are saying, and so on. When you focus shifts to your anxiety, take notice and gently bring it back to the task at hand.

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Leary, M. R., & Kowalski, R. M. (1990). Impression management: A literature review and two-component model. Psychological Bulletin, 107(1), 34–47. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.107.1.34

About the Author: Martin Stork

Martin is a professional psychologist with a background in physical therapy. He has organized and led various support groups for people with social anxiety in Washington, DC and Buenos Aires, Argentina. He is the founder of Conquer Social Anxiety Ltd , where he operates as a writer, therapist and director. You can click here to find out more about Martin.

How to Help Someone With Social Anxiety? A Complete Guide

When Nerves Turn Into a Problem: Mild Social Anxiety and Its Implications

The Neuroscience of Social Anxiety: The Power of Your Dopamine Balance

Top 10 Devastating Impacts of Living with Social Phobia

The Vicious Cycle of Social Anxiety: Stopping the Underlying Triggers

Does Social Anxiety Get Worse With Age?

Essay on How Other People See Me

Students are often asked to write an essay on How Other People See Me in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on How Other People See Me

Introduction.

People look at each other and form ideas. They see me in their own way. This essay talks about how others might see me.

Some people notice my clothes and hair first. They might think I’m neat or messy. My smile can make them see me as friendly.

When I do things, others watch. They see if I’m kind or mean, lazy or hardworking. My actions tell a story about me.

The words I use can make people think I’m smart or not. If I speak kindly, they might see me as a good person.

Everyone has their own view of me. It’s like looking through different windows. What they see can change with what I do or say.

250 Words Essay on How Other People See Me

My appearance to others.

When people look at me, they see a person with a certain style. I like to wear bright colors because they make me feel happy. My friends say my clothes show that I am fun and like to laugh. I often wear a big smile, which might make people think I am friendly. It is like my face tells them, “Hello, let’s be friends!”

What My Actions Show

My actions can tell others a lot about me. If I help someone who dropped their books, it shows I am kind. When I play games and wait for my turn, it shows I am patient and fair. People see these things and think, “That person is nice to have around.”

My Words and Their Power

The words I use also give people clues about who I am. If I say please and thank you, others might think I am polite. When I talk about things I love, like books or sports, others learn about my interests. They might say, “This person cares about things and enjoys sharing.”

Feelings I Share

How I act when I am sad or happy can affect how others see me. If I laugh a lot, people might see me as happy. When I am quiet or have tears, they might understand I am sad or need help. Friends often think, “I can share my feelings with this person.”

In the end, how others see me is a mix of my looks, actions, words, and feelings. It’s like a puzzle that shows who I am to the world.

500 Words Essay on How Other People See Me

The mirror of others.

When we think about how others see us, it’s like looking into a mirror, but not a normal one. This mirror is special because it’s made up of the thoughts, feelings, and ideas that other people have about us. Every person we meet has their own mirror, showing a different picture of who we are.

First Impressions

The first time someone meets us, they notice the easy things. They see our smile, hear our laughter, and watch how we move. They might think, “This person seems friendly,” or “They are very quiet.” These first thoughts are like quick sketches, not the full painting of who we are.

Getting to Know Me

As people spend more time with us, their picture becomes clearer. Friends might see us as someone who tells funny jokes or as the person who is always there to help. Our teachers might see us as hardworking students. These ideas are like puzzle pieces that come together to show more of who we are.

My Actions and Words

The things we do and the words we use are like colors we paint on our canvas. If we are kind and helpful, others might see us as caring. If we work hard and try our best, they might see us as determined. Our actions and words tell a story about us.

The Good and the Not So Good

No one is perfect, and that’s okay. Sometimes we make mistakes or get upset. Maybe someone sees us on a bad day and thinks, “They are not very nice.” But that’s just one small part of our picture. It’s important to remember that everyone has bad days, and it doesn’t mean that’s who we are all the time.

Changing Views

As we grow and learn, how we are seen can change. Maybe we become braver, smarter, or even funnier. As we change, the picture that others have of us changes too. It’s like adding new scenes to our story, making it even more interesting.

Why It Matters

It’s nice to know what others think of us because it can help us learn about ourselves. If lots of people think we are good at something, it might be a special talent we have. If we hear that we are not very patient, maybe that’s something we can work on. What others see in us can be like clues to how we can become even better.

In Conclusion

Thinking about how other people see us is like exploring a garden with many different mirrors. Each mirror shows us from a different angle. Some might make us look taller, others shorter, some happier, and some more serious. But each view is just a small part of the big, beautiful garden that is us. What’s most important is that we are the best we can be and that we are kind to others and ourselves. Then, no matter what the mirrors show, we can be proud of the person we see.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

Essay on How Revolutionary Was The American Revolution
Essay on Ozone Layer Protection
Essay on How We Can Achieve The Common Good

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

Choose Your Test

Sat / act prep online guides and tips, bad college essays: 10 mistakes you must avoid.

College Essays

Just as there are noteworthy examples of excellent college essays that admissions offices like to publish, so are there cringe-worthy examples of terrible college essays that end up being described by anonymous admissions officers on Reddit discussion boards.

While I won't guarantee that your essay will end up in the first category, I will say that you follow my advice in this article, your essay most assuredly won't end up in the second. How do you avoid writing a bad admissions essay? Read on to find out what makes an essay bad and to learn which college essay topics to avoid. I'll also explain how to recognize bad college essays—and what to do to if you end up creating one by accident.

What Makes Bad College Essays Bad

What exactly happens to turn a college essay terrible? Just as great personal statements combine an unexpected topic with superb execution, flawed personal statements compound problematic subject matter with poor execution.

Problems With the Topic

The primary way to screw up a college essay is to flub what the essay is about or how you've decided to discuss a particular experience. Badly chosen essay content can easily create an essay that is off-putting in one of a number of ways I'll discuss in the next section.

The essay is the place to let the admissions office of your target college get to know your personality, character, and the talents and skills that aren't on your transcript. So if you start with a terrible topic, not only will you end up with a bad essay, but you risk ruining the good impression that the rest of your application makes.

Some bad topics show admissions officers that you don't have a good sense of judgment or maturity , which is a problem since they are building a class of college students who have to be able to handle independent life on campus.

Other bad topics suggest that you are a boring person , or someone who doesn't process your experience in a colorful or lively way, which is a problem since colleges want to create a dynamic and engaged cohort of students.

Still other bad topics indicate that you're unaware of or disconnected from the outside world and focused only on yourself , which is a problem since part of the point of college is to engage with new people and new ideas, and admissions officers are looking for people who can do that.

Problems With the Execution

Sometimes, even if the experiences you discuss could be the foundation of a great personal statement, the way you've structured and put together your essay sends up warning flags. This is because the admissions essay is also a place to show the admissions team the maturity and clarity of your writing style.

One way to get this part wrong is to exhibit very faulty writing mechanics , like unclear syntax or incorrectly used punctuation. This is a problem since college-ready writing is one of the things that's expected from a high school graduate.

Another way to mess this up is to ignore prompt instructions either for creative or careless reasons. This can show admissions officers that you're either someone who simply blows off directions and instructions or someone who can't understand how to follow them . Neither is a good thing, since they are looking for people who are open to receiving new information from professors and not just deciding they know everything already.

College Essay Topics To Avoid

Want to know why you're often advised to write about something mundane and everyday for your college essay? That's because the more out-there your topic, the more likely it is to stumble into one of these trouble categories.

Too Personal

The problem with the overly personal essay topic is that revealing something very private can show that you don't really understand boundaries . And knowing where appropriate boundaries are will be key for living on your own with a bunch of people not related to you.

Unfortunately, stumbling into the TMI zone of essay topics is more common than you think. One quick test for checking your privacy-breaking level: if it's not something you'd tell a friendly stranger sitting next to you on the plane, maybe don't tell it to the admissions office.

Describing losing your virginity, or anything about your sex life really. This doesn't mean you can't write about your sexual orientation—just leave out the actual physical act.
Writing in too much detail about your illness, disability, any other bodily functions. Detailed meaningful discussion of what this physical condition has meant to you and your life is a great thing to write about. But stay away from body horror and graphic descriptions that are simply there for gratuitous shock value.
Waxing poetic about your love for your significant other. Your relationship is adorable to the people currently involved in it, but those who don't know you aren't invested in this aspect of your life.
Confessing to odd and unusual desires of the sexual or illegal variety. Your obsession with cultivating cacti is wonderful topic, while your obsession with researching explosives is a terrible one.

Too Revealing of Bad Judgment

Generally speaking, leave past illegal or immoral actions out of your essay . It's simply a bad idea to give admissions officers ammunition to dislike you.

Some exceptions might be if you did something in a very, very different mindset from the one you're in now (in the midst of escaping from danger, under severe coercion, or when you were very young, for example). Or if your essay is about explaining how you've turned over a new leaf and you have the transcript to back you up.

Writing about committing crime as something fun or exciting. Unless it's on your permanent record, and you'd like a chance to explain how you've learned your lesson and changed, don't put this in your essay.
Describing drug use or the experience of being drunk or high. Even if you're in a state where some recreational drugs are legal, you're a high school student. Your only exposure to mind-altering substances should be caffeine.
Making up fictional stories about yourself as though they are true. You're unlikely to be a good enough fantasist to pull this off, and there's no reason to roll the dice on being discovered to be a liar.
Detailing your personality flaws. Unless you have a great story of coping with one of these, leave deal-breakers like pathological narcissism out of your personal statement.

Too Overconfident

While it's great to have faith in your abilities, no one likes a relentless show-off. No matter how magnificent your accomplishments, if you decide to focus your essay on them, it's better to describe a setback or a moment of doubt rather that simply praising yourself to the skies.

Bragging and making yourself the flawless hero of your essay. This goes double if you're writing about not particularly exciting achievements like scoring the winning goal or getting the lead in the play.
Having no awareness of the actual scope of your accomplishments. It's lovely that you take time to help others, but volunteer-tutoring a couple of hours a week doesn't make you a saintly figure.

Too Clichéd or Boring

Remember your reader. In this case, you're trying to make yourself memorable to an admissions officer who has been reading thousands of other essays . If your essay makes the mistake of being boring or trite, it just won't register in that person's mind as anything worth paying attention to.

Transcribing your resume into sentence form or writing about the main activity on your transcript. The application already includes your resume, or a detailed list of your various activities. Unless the prompt specifically asks you to write about your main activity, the essay needs to be about a facet of your interests and personality that doesn't come through the other parts of the application.
Writing about sports. Every athlete tries to write this essay. Unless you have a completely off-the-wall story or unusual achievement, leave this overdone topic be.
Being moved by your community service trip to a third-world country. Were you were impressed at how happy the people seemed despite being poor? Did you learn a valuable lesson about how privileged you are? Unfortunately, so has every other teenager who traveled on one of these trips. Writing about this tends to simultaneously make you sound unempathetic, clueless about the world, way over-privileged, and condescending. Unless you have a highly specific, totally unusual story to tell, don't do it.
Reacting with sadness to a sad, but very common experience. Unfortunately, many of the hard, formative events in your life are fairly universal. So, if you're going to write about death or divorce, make sure to focus on how you dealt with this event, so the essay is something only you could possibly have written. Only detailed, idiosyncratic description can save this topic.
Going meta. Don't write about the fact that you're writing the essay as we speak, and now the reader is reading it, and look, the essay is right here in the reader's hand. It's a technique that seems clever, but has already been done many times in many different ways.
Offering your ideas on how to fix the world. This is especially true if your solution is an easy fix, if only everyone would just listen to you. Trust me, there's just no way you are being realistically appreciative of the level of complexity inherent in the problem you're describing.
Starting with a famous quotation. There usually is no need to shore up your own words by bringing in someone else's. Of course, if you are writing about a particular phrase that you've adopted as a life motto, feel free to include it. But even then, having it be the first line in your essay feels like you're handing the keys over to that author and asking them to drive.
Using an everyday object as a metaphor for your life/personality. "Shoes. They are like this, and like that, and people love them for all of these reasons. And guess what? They are just like me."

Too Off-Topic

Unlike the essays you've been writing in school where the idea is to analyze something outside of yourself, the main subject of your college essay should be you, your background, your makeup, and your future . Writing about someone or something else might well make a great essay, but not for this context.

Paying tribute to someone very important to you. Everyone would love to meet your grandma, but this isn't the time to focus on her amazing coming of age story. If you do want to talk about a person who is important to your life, dwell on the ways you've been impacted by them, and how you will incorporate this impact into your future.
Documenting how well other people do things, say things, are active, while you remain passive and inactive in the essay. Being in the orbit of someone else's important lab work, or complex stage production, or meaningful political activism is a fantastic learning moment. But if you decide to write about, your essay should be about your learning and how you've been influenced, not about the other person's achievements.
Concentrating on a work of art that deeply moved you. Watch out for the pitfall of writing an analytical essay about that work, and not at all about your reaction to it or how you've been affected since. Check out our explanation of how to answer Topic D of the ApplyTexas application to get some advice on writing about someone else's work while making sure your essay still points back at you.

(Image: Pieter Christoffel Wonder [Public domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

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Too Offensive

With this potential mistake, you run the risk of showing a lack of self-awareness or the ability to be open to new ideas . Remember, no reader wants to be lectured at. If that's what your essay does, you are demonstrating an inability to communicate successfully with others.

Also, remember that no college is eager to admit someone who is too close-minded to benefit from being taught by others. A long, one-sided essay about a hot-button issue will suggest that you are exactly that.

Ranting at length about political, religious, or other contentious topics. You simply don't know where the admissions officer who reads your essay stands on any of these issues. It's better to avoid upsetting or angering that person.
Writing a one-sided diatribe about guns, abortion, the death penalty, immigration, or anything else in the news. Even if you can marshal facts in your argument, this essay is simply the wrong place to take a narrow, unempathetic side in an ongoing debate.
Mentioning anything negative about the school you're applying to. Again, your reader is someone who works there and presumably is proud of the place. This is not the time to question the admissions officer's opinions or life choices.

College Essay Execution Problems To Avoid

Bad college essays aren't only caused by bad topics. Sometimes, even if you're writing about an interesting, relevant topic, you can still seem immature or unready for college life because of the way you present that topic—the way you actually write your personal statement. Check to make sure you haven't made any of the common mistakes on this list.

Tone-Deafness

Admissions officers are looking for resourcefulness, the ability to be resilient, and an active and optimistic approach to life —these are all qualities that create a thriving college student. Essays that don't show these qualities are usually suffering from tone-deafness.

Being whiny or complaining about problems in your life. Is the essay about everyone doing things to/against you? About things happening to you, rather than you doing anything about them? That perspective is a definite turn-off.
Trying and failing to use humor. You may be very funny in real life, but it's hard to be successfully funny in this context, especially when writing for a reader who doesn't know you. If you do want to use humor, I'd recommend the simplest and most straightforward version: being self-deprecating and low-key.
Talking down to the reader, or alternately being self-aggrandizing. No one enjoys being condescended to. In this case, much of the function of your essay is to charm and make yourself likable, which is unlikely to happen if you adopt this tone.
Being pessimistic, cynical, and generally depressive. You are applying to college because you are looking forward to a future of learning, achievement, and self-actualization. This is not the time to bust out your existential ennui and your jaded, been-there-done-that attitude toward life.

(Image: Eduard Munch [Public Domain] , via Wikimedia Commons)

Lack of Personality

One good question to ask yourself is: could anyone else have written this essay ? If the answer is yes, then you aren't doing a good job of representing your unique perspective on the world. It's very important to demonstrate your ability to be a detailed observer of the world, since that will be one of your main jobs as a college student.

Avoiding any emotions, and appearing robot-like and cold in the essay. Unlike essays that you've been writing for class, this essay is meant to be a showcase of your authorial voice and personality. It may seem strange to shift gears after learning how to take yourself out of your writing, but this is the place where you have to put as much as yourself in as possible.
Skipping over description and specific details in favor of writing only in vague generalities. Does your narrative feel like a newspaper horoscope, which could apply to every other person who was there that day? Then you're doing it wrong and need to refocus on your reaction, feelings, understanding, and transformation.

Off-Kilter Style

There's some room for creativity here, yes, but a college essay isn't a free-for-all postmodern art class . True, there are prompts that specifically call for your most out-of-left-field submission, or allow you to submit a portfolio or some other work sample instead of a traditional essay. But on a standard application, it's better to stick to traditional prose, split into paragraphs, further split into sentences.

Submitting anything other than just the materials asked for on your application. Don't send food to the admissions office, don't write your essay on clothing or shoes, don't create a YouTube channel about your undying commitment to the school. I know there are a lot of urban legends about "that one time this crazy thing worked," but they are either not true or about something that will not work a second time.
Writing your essay in verse, in the form of a play, in bullet points, as an acrostic, or any other non-prose form. Unless you really have a way with poetry or playwriting, and you are very confident that you can meet the demands of the prompt and explain yourself well in this form, don't discard prose simply for the sake of being different.
Using as many "fancy" words as possible and getting very far away from sounding like yourself. Admissions officers are unanimous in wanting to hear your not fully formed teenage voice in your essay. This means that you should write at the top of your vocabulary range and syntax complexity, but don't trade every word up for a thesaurus synonym. Your essay will suffer for it.

Failure to Proofread

Most people have a hard time checking over their own work. This is why you have to make sure that someone else proofreads your writing . This is the one place where you can, should—and really must—get someone who knows all about grammar, punctuation and has a good eye for detail to take a red pencil to your final draft.

Otherwise, you look like you either don't know the basic rules or writing (in which case, are you really ready for college work?) or don't care enough to present yourself well (in which case, why would the admissions people care about admitting you?).

Typos, grammatical mistakes, punctuation flubs, weird font/paragraph spacing issues. It's true that these are often unintentional mistakes. But caring about getting it right is a way to demonstrate your work ethic and dedication to the task at hand.
Going over the word limit. Part of showing your brilliance is being able to work within arbitrary rules and limitations. Going over the word count points to a lack of self-control, which is not a very attractive feature in a college applicant.
Repeating the same word(s) or sentence structure over and over again. This makes your prose monotonous and hard to read.

Bad College Essay Examples—And How to Fix Them

The beauty of writing is that you get to rewrite. So if you think of your essay as a draft waiting to be revised into a better version rather than as a precious jewel that can't bear being touched, you'll be in far better shape to correct the issues that always crop up!

Now let's take a look at some actual college essay drafts to see where the writer is going wrong and how the issue could be fixed.

Essay #1: The "I Am Writing This Essay as We Speak" Meta-Narrative

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine. I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

In my junior year, I always had in mind an image of myself finishing the college essay months before the deadline. But as the weeks dragged on and the deadline drew near, it soon became clear that at the rate things are going I would probably have to make new plans for my October, November and December.

Falling into my personal wormhole, I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!" I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

I fell into a state of panic. My college essay. My image of myself in senior year. Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there. My heart lifted, I took his advice and listed three of my greatest achievements - mastering my backgammon strategy, being a part of TREE in my sophomore year, and performing "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from The Pirates of Penzance in public. And sure enough, I felt inspiration hit me and began to type away furiously into the keyboard about my experience in TREE, or Trees Require Engaged Environmentalists. I reflected on the current state of deforestation, and described the dichotomy of it being both understandable why farmers cut down forests for farmland, and how dangerous this is to our planet. Finally, I added my personal epiphany to the end of my college essay as the cherry on the vanilla sundae, as the overused saying goes.

After 3 weeks of figuring myself out, I have converted myself into a piece of writing. As far as achievements go, this was definitely an amazing one. The ability to transform a human being into 603 words surely deserves a gold medal. Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In the middle of a hike through Philadelphia's Fairmount Park, I realized that the college essay was nothing more than an embodiment of my character. The two essays I have written were not right because they have failed to become more than just words on recycled paper. The subject failed to come alive. Certainly my keen interest in Star Trek and my enthusiasm for TREE are a great part of who I am, but there were other qualities essential in my character that did not come across in the essays.

With this realization, I turned around as quickly as I could without crashing into a tree.

What Essay #1 Does Well

Here are all things that are working on all cylinders for this personal statement as is.

Killer First Sentence

Was your childhood home destroyed by a landspout tornado? Yeah, neither was mine.

A strange fact. There are different kinds of tornadoes? What is a "landspout tornado" anyway?
A late-night-deep-thoughts hypothetical. What would it be like to be a kid whose house was destroyed in this unusual way?
Direct engagement with the reader. Instead of asking "what would it be like to have a tornado destroy a house" it asks "was your house ever destroyed."

Gentle, Self-Deprecating Humor That Lands Well

I played with the thought in my mind, tapping my imaginary communicator pin and whispering "Computer. Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. And then an Essay." Nothing happened. Instead, I sat quietly in my room wrote the old-fashioned way. Days later I emerged from my room disheveled, but to my dismay, this college essay made me sound like just a guy who can't get over the fact that he'll never take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

The author has his cake and eats it too here: both making fun of himself for being super into the Star Trek mythos, but also showing himself being committed enough to try whispering a command to the Enterprise computer alone in his room. You know, just in case.

A Solid Point That Is Made Paragraph by Paragraph

The meat of the essay is that the two versions of himself that the author thought about portraying each fails in some way to describe the real him. Neither an essay focusing on his off-beat interests, nor an essay devoted to his serious activism could capture everything about a well-rounded person in 600 words.

(Image: fir0002 via Wikimedia Commons .)

Where Essay #1 Needs Revision

Rewriting these flawed parts will make the essay shine.

Spending Way Too Long on the Metanarrative

I know that intro might have given the impression that this college essay will be about withstanding disasters, but the truth is that it isn't about that at all.

Look at how long and draggy these paragraphs are, especially after that zippy opening. Is it at all interesting to read about how someone else found the process of writing hard? Not really, because this is a very common experience.

In the rewrite, I'd advise condensing all of this to maybe a sentence to get to the meat of the actual essay .

Letting Other People Do All the Doing

I sat down with my mom to talk about colleges. "Maybe you should write about Star Trek ," she suggested, "you know how you've always been obsessed with Captain Picard, calling him your dream mentor. Unique hobbies make good topics, right? You'll sound creative!"

Almost out of nowhere, Robert Jameson Smith offered his words of advice. Perfect! He suggested students begin their college essay by listing their achievements and letting their essay materialize from there.

Twice in the essay, the author lets someone else tell him what to do. Not only that, but it sounds like both of the "incomplete" essays were dictated by the thoughts of other people and had little to do with his own ideas, experiences, or initiative.

In the rewrite, it would be better to recast both the Star Trek and the TREE versions of the essay as the author's own thoughts rather than someone else's suggestions . This way, the point of the essay—taking apart the idea that a college essay could summarize life experience—is earned by the author's two failed attempts to write that other kind of essay.

Leaving the Insight and Meaning Out of His Experiences

Both the Star Trek fandom and the TREE activism were obviously important life experiences for this author—important enough to be potential college essay topic candidates. But there is no description of what the author did with either one, nor any explanation of why these were so meaningful to his life.

It's fine to say that none of your achievements individually define you, but in order for that to work, you have to really sell the achievements themselves.

In the rewrite, it would be good to explore what he learned about himself and the world by pursuing these interests . How did they change him or seen him into the person he is today?

Not Adding New Shades and Facets of Himself Into the Mix

So, I tossed my essay away without even getting to disintegrate it with a phaser set on stun.

Yet in this essay, I was still being nagged by a voice that couldn't be ignored. Eventually, I submitted to that yelling inner voice and decided that this was not the right essay either.

In both of these passages, there is the perfect opportunity to point out what exactly these failed versions of the essay didn't capture about the author . In the next essay draft, I would suggest subtly making a point about his other qualities.

For example, after the Star Trek paragraph, he could talk about other culture he likes to consume, especially if he can discuss art forms he is interested in that would not be expected from someone who loves Star Trek .

Or, after the TREE paragraph, the author could explain why this second essay was no better at capturing him than the first. What was missing? Why is the self in the essay shouting—is it because this version paints him as an overly aggressive activist?

Essay #2: The "I Once Saw Poor People" Service Trip Essay

Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. My whole outlook on life changed after I realized that my life was just being handed to me on a silver spoon, and yet there were those in the world who didn't have enough food to eat or place to live. I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

During the summer of 2006, I went on a community service trip to rural Peru to help build an elementary school for kids there. I expected harsh conditions, but what I encountered was far worse. It was one thing to watch commercials asking for donations to help the unfortunate people in less developed countries, yet it was a whole different story to actually live it. Even after all this time, I can still hear babies crying from hunger; I can still see the filthy rags that they wore; I can still smell the stench of misery and hopelessness. But my most vivid memory was the moment I first got to the farming town. The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water? As these questions rolled around my already dazed mind, I heard a soft voice asking me in Spanish, "Are you okay? Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" I looked down to see a small boy, around nine years of age, who looked starved, and cold, wearing tattered clothing, comforting me. These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate ahead of themselves. It was at that moment that I saw how selfish I had been. How many people suffered like this in the world, while I went about life concerned about nothing at all?

Thinking back on the trip, maybe I made a difference, maybe not. But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

What Essay #2 Does Well

Let's first point out what this draft has going for it.

Clear Chronology

This is an essay that tries to explain a shift in perspective. There are different ways to structure this overarching idea, but a chronological approach that starts with an earlier opinion, describes a mind changing event, and ends with the transformed point of view is an easy and clear way to lay this potentially complex subject out.

(Image: User:Lite via Wikimedia Commons)

Where Essay #2 Needs Revision

Now let's see what needs to be changed in order for this essay to pass muster.

Condescending, Obnoxious Tone

This is a very broad generalization, which doesn't tend to be the best way to formulate an argument—or to start an essay. It just makes this author sound dismissive of a huge swath of the population.

In the rewrite, this author would be way better off just concentrate on what she want to say about herself, not pass judgment on "other teenagers," most of whom she doesn't know and will never meet.

I realized that the one thing that this world needed more than anything was compassion; compassion for those less fortunate than us.

Coming from someone who hasn't earned her place in the world through anything but the luck of being born, the word "compassion" sounds really condescending. Calling others "less fortunate" when you're a senior in high school has a dehumanizing quality to it.

These people who have so little were able to forget their own needs, and put those much more fortunate in front of themselves.

Again, this comes across as very patronizing. Not only that, but to this little boy the author was clearly not looking all that "fortunate"—instead, she looked pathetic enough to need comforting.

In the next draft, a better hook could be making the essay about the many different kinds of shifting perspectives the author encountered on that trip . A more meaningful essay would compare and contrast the points of view of the TV commercials, to what the group leader said, to the author's own expectations, and finally to this child's point of view.

Vague, Unobservant Description

Phrases like "cries of the small children from not having enough to eat" and "dirt stained rags" seem like descriptions, but they're really closer to incurious and completely hackneyed generalizations. Why were the kids were crying? How many kids? All the kids? One specific really loud kid?

The same goes for "filthy rags," which is both an incredibly insensitive way to talk about the clothing of these villagers, and again shows a total lack of interest in their life. Why were their clothes dirty? Were they workers or farmers so their clothes showing marks of labor? Did they have Sunday clothes? Traditional clothes they would put on for special occasions? Did they make their own clothes? That would be a good reason to keep wearing clothing even if it had "stains" on it.

The rewrite should either make this section more specific and less reliant on cliches, or should discard it altogether .

The conditions of it hit me by surprise; it looked much worse in real life than compared to the what our group leader had told us. Poverty to me and everyone else I knew was a foreign concept that people hear about on the news or see in documentaries. But this abject poverty was their life, their reality.

If this is the "most vivid memory," then I would expect to read all the details that have been seared into the author's brain. What did their leader tell them? What was different in real life? What was the light like? What did the houses/roads/grass/fields/trees/animals/cars look like? What time of day was it? Did they get there by bus, train, or plane? Was there an airport/train station/bus terminal? A city center? Shops? A marketplace?

There are any number of details to include here when doing another drafting pass.

Lack of Insight or Maturity

But this abject poverty was their life, their reality. And for the brief ten days I was there, it would be mine too. As all of this realization came at once, I felt overwhelmed by the weight of what was to come. Would I be able to live in the same conditions as these people? Would I catch a disease that no longer existed in the first world, or maybe die from drinking contaminated water?

Without a framing device explaining that this initial panic was an overreaction, this section just makes the author sound whiny, entitled, melodramatic, and immature . After all, this isn't a a solo wilderness trek—the author is there with a paid guided program. Just how much mortality is typically associated with these very standard college-application-boosting service trips?

In a rewrite, I would suggest including more perspective on the author's outsized and overprivileged response here. This would fit well with a new focus on the different points of view on this village the author encountered.

Unearned, Clichéd "Deep Thoughts"

But I gained something much more important. I gained the desire to make the world a better place for others. It was in a small, poverty-stricken village in Peru that I finally realized that there was more to life than just being alive.

Is it really believable that this is what the author learned? There is maybe some evidence to suggest that the author was shaken somewhat out of a comfortable, materialistic existence. But what does "there is more to life than just being alive" even really mean? This conclusion is rather vague, and seems mostly a non sequitur.

In a rewrite, the essay should be completely reoriented to discuss how differently others see us than we see ourselves, pivoting on the experience of being pitied by someone who you thought was pitiable. Then, the new version can end by on a note of being better able to understand different points of view and other people's perspectives .

The Bottom Line

Bad college essays have problems either with their topics or their execution.
The essay is how admissions officers learn about your personality, point of view, and maturity level, so getting the topic right is a key factor in letting them see you as an aware, self-directed, open-minded applicant who is going to thrive in an environment of independence.
The essay is also how admissions officers learn that you are writing at a ready-for-college level, so screwing up the execution shows that you either don't know how to write, or don't care enough to do it well.
The main ways college essay topics go wrong is bad taste, bad judgment, and lack of self-awareness.
The main ways college essays fail in their execution have to do with ignoring format, syntax, and genre expectations.

What's Next?

Want to read some excellent college essays now that you've seen some examples of flawed one? Take a look through our roundup of college essay examples published by colleges and then get help with brainstorming your perfect college essay topic .

Need some guidance on other parts of the application process? Check out our detailed, step-by-step guide to college applications for advice.

Are you considering taking the SAT or ACT again before you submit your application? Read about our famous test prep guides for hints and strategies for a better score.

Want to improve your SAT score by 160 points or your ACT score by 4 points? We've written a guide for each test about the top 5 strategies you must be using to have a shot at improving your score. Download them for free now:

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Solar Eclipse 2024

What the World Has Learned From Past Eclipses

C louds scudded over the small volcanic island of Principe, off the western coast of Africa, on the afternoon of May 29, 1919. Arthur Eddington, director of the Cambridge Observatory in the U.K., waited for the Sun to emerge. The remains of a morning thunderstorm could ruin everything.

The island was about to experience the rare and overwhelming sight of a total solar eclipse. For six minutes, the longest eclipse since 1416, the Moon would completely block the face of the Sun, pulling a curtain of darkness over a thin stripe of Earth. Eddington traveled into the eclipse path to try and prove one of the most consequential ideas of his age: Albert Einstein’s new theory of general relativity.

Eddington, a physicist, was one of the few people at the time who understood the theory, which Einstein proposed in 1915. But many other scientists were stymied by the bizarre idea that gravity is not a mutual attraction, but a warping of spacetime. Light itself would be subject to this warping, too. So an eclipse would be the best way to prove whether the theory was true, because with the Sun’s light blocked by the Moon, astronomers would be able to see whether the Sun’s gravity bent the light of distant stars behind it.

Two teams of astronomers boarded ships steaming from Liverpool, England, in March 1919 to watch the eclipse and take the measure of the stars. Eddington and his team went to Principe, and another team led by Frank Dyson of the Greenwich Observatory went to Sobral, Brazil.

Totality, the complete obscuration of the Sun, would be at 2:13 local time in Principe. Moments before the Moon slid in front of the Sun, the clouds finally began breaking up. For a moment, it was totally clear. Eddington and his group hastily captured images of a star cluster found near the Sun that day, called the Hyades, found in the constellation of Taurus. The astronomers were using the best astronomical technology of the time, photographic plates, which are large exposures taken on glass instead of film. Stars appeared on seven of the plates, and solar “prominences,” filaments of gas streaming from the Sun, appeared on others.

Eddington wanted to stay in Principe to measure the Hyades when there was no eclipse, but a ship workers’ strike made him leave early. Later, Eddington and Dyson both compared the glass plates taken during the eclipse to other glass plates captured of the Hyades in a different part of the sky, when there was no eclipse. On the images from Eddington’s and Dyson’s expeditions, the stars were not aligned. The 40-year-old Einstein was right.

“Lights All Askew In the Heavens,” the New York Times proclaimed when the scientific papers were published. The eclipse was the key to the discovery—as so many solar eclipses before and since have illuminated new findings about our universe.

Telescope used to observe a total solar eclipse, Sobral, Brazil, 1919.

To understand why Eddington and Dyson traveled such distances to watch the eclipse, we need to talk about gravity.

Since at least the days of Isaac Newton, who wrote in 1687, scientists thought gravity was a simple force of mutual attraction. Newton proposed that every object in the universe attracts every other object in the universe, and that the strength of this attraction is related to the size of the objects and the distances among them. This is mostly true, actually, but it’s a little more nuanced than that.

On much larger scales, like among black holes or galaxy clusters, Newtonian gravity falls short. It also can’t accurately account for the movement of large objects that are close together, such as how the orbit of Mercury is affected by its proximity the Sun.

Albert Einstein’s most consequential breakthrough solved these problems. General relativity holds that gravity is not really an invisible force of mutual attraction, but a distortion. Rather than some kind of mutual tug-of-war, large objects like the Sun and other stars respond relative to each other because the space they are in has been altered. Their mass is so great that they bend the fabric of space and time around themselves.

Read More: 10 Surprising Facts About the 2024 Solar Eclipse

This was a weird concept, and many scientists thought Einstein’s ideas and equations were ridiculous. But others thought it sounded reasonable. Einstein and others knew that if the theory was correct, and the fabric of reality is bending around large objects, then light itself would have to follow that bend. The light of a star in the great distance, for instance, would seem to curve around a large object in front of it, nearer to us—like our Sun. But normally, it’s impossible to study stars behind the Sun to measure this effect. Enter an eclipse.

Einstein’s theory gives an equation for how much the Sun’s gravity would displace the images of background stars. Newton’s theory predicts only half that amount of displacement.

Eddington and Dyson measured the Hyades cluster because it contains many stars; the more stars to distort, the better the comparison. Both teams of scientists encountered strange political and natural obstacles in making the discovery, which are chronicled beautifully in the book No Shadow of a Doubt: The 1919 Eclipse That Confirmed Einstein's Theory of Relativity , by the physicist Daniel Kennefick. But the confirmation of Einstein’s ideas was worth it. Eddington said as much in a letter to his mother: “The one good plate that I measured gave a result agreeing with Einstein,” he wrote , “and I think I have got a little confirmation from a second plate.”

The Eddington-Dyson experiments were hardly the first time scientists used eclipses to make profound new discoveries. The idea dates to the beginnings of human civilization.

Careful records of lunar and solar eclipses are one of the greatest legacies of ancient Babylon. Astronomers—or astrologers, really, but the goal was the same—were able to predict both lunar and solar eclipses with impressive accuracy. They worked out what we now call the Saros Cycle, a repeating period of 18 years, 11 days, and 8 hours in which eclipses appear to repeat. One Saros cycle is equal to 223 synodic months, which is the time it takes the Moon to return to the same phase as seen from Earth. They also figured out, though may not have understood it completely, the geometry that enables eclipses to happen.

The path we trace around the Sun is called the ecliptic. Our planet’s axis is tilted with respect to the ecliptic plane, which is why we have seasons, and why the other celestial bodies seem to cross the same general path in our sky.

As the Moon goes around Earth, it, too, crosses the plane of the ecliptic twice in a year. The ascending node is where the Moon moves into the northern ecliptic. The descending node is where the Moon enters the southern ecliptic. When the Moon crosses a node, a total solar eclipse can happen. Ancient astronomers were aware of these points in the sky, and by the apex of Babylonian civilization, they were very good at predicting when eclipses would occur.

Two and a half millennia later, in 2016, astronomers used these same ancient records to measure the change in the rate at which Earth’s rotation is slowing—which is to say, the amount by which are days are lengthening, over thousands of years.

By the middle of the 19 th century, scientific discoveries came at a frenetic pace, and eclipses powered many of them. In October 1868, two astronomers, Pierre Jules César Janssen and Joseph Norman Lockyer, separately measured the colors of sunlight during a total eclipse. Each found evidence of an unknown element, indicating a new discovery: Helium, named for the Greek god of the Sun. In another eclipse in 1869, astronomers found convincing evidence of another new element, which they nicknamed coronium—before learning a few decades later that it was not a new element, but highly ionized iron, indicating that the Sun’s atmosphere is exceptionally, bizarrely hot. This oddity led to the prediction, in the 1950s, of a continual outflow that we now call the solar wind.

And during solar eclipses between 1878 and 1908, astronomers searched in vain for a proposed extra planet within the orbit of Mercury. Provisionally named Vulcan, this planet was thought to exist because Newtonian gravity could not fully describe Mercury’s strange orbit. The matter of the innermost planet’s path was settled, finally, in 1915, when Einstein used general relativity equations to explain it.

Many eclipse expeditions were intended to learn something new, or to prove an idea right—or wrong. But many of these discoveries have major practical effects on us. Understanding the Sun, and why its atmosphere gets so hot, can help us predict solar outbursts that could disrupt the power grid and communications satellites. Understanding gravity, at all scales, allows us to know and to navigate the cosmos.

GPS satellites, for instance, provide accurate measurements down to inches on Earth. Relativity equations account for the effects of the Earth’s gravity and the distances between the satellites and their receivers on the ground. Special relativity holds that the clocks on satellites, which experience weaker gravity, seem to run slower than clocks under the stronger force of gravity on Earth. From the point of view of the satellite, Earth clocks seem to run faster. We can use different satellites in different positions, and different ground stations, to accurately triangulate our positions on Earth down to inches. Without those calculations, GPS satellites would be far less precise.

This year, scientists fanned out across North America and in the skies above it will continue the legacy of eclipse science. Scientists from NASA and several universities and other research institutions will study Earth’s atmosphere; the Sun’s atmosphere; the Sun’s magnetic fields; and the Sun’s atmospheric outbursts, called coronal mass ejections.

When you look up at the Sun and Moon on the eclipse , the Moon’s day — or just observe its shadow darkening the ground beneath the clouds, which seems more likely — think about all the discoveries still yet waiting to happen, just behind the shadow of the Moon.

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What is the difference between a solar eclipse and a lunar eclipse?

It almost time! Millions of Americans across the country Monday are preparing to witness the once-in-a-lifetime total solar eclipse as it passes over portions of Mexico, the United States and Canada.

It's a sight to behold and people have now long been eagerly awaiting what will be their only chance until 2044 to witness totality, whereby the moon will completely block the sun's disc, ushering in uncharacteristic darkness.

That being said, many are curious on what makes the solar eclipse special and how is it different from a lunar eclipse.

The total solar eclipse is today: Get the latest forecast and everything you need to know

What is an eclipse?

An eclipse occurs when any celestial object like a moon or a planet passes between two other bodies, obscuring the view of objects like the sun, according to NASA .

What is a solar eclipse?

A total solar eclipse occurs when the moon comes in between the Earth and the sun, blocking its light from reaching our planet, leading to a period of darkness lasting several minutes. The resulting "totality," whereby observers can see the outermost layer of the sun's atmosphere, known as the corona, presents a spectacular sight for viewers and confuses animals – causing nocturnal creatures to stir and bird and insects to fall silent.

Partial eclipses, when some part of the sun remains visible, are the most common, making total eclipses a rare sight.

What is a lunar eclipse?

A total lunar eclipse occurs when the moon and the sun are on exact opposite sides of Earth. When this happens, Earth blocks the sunlight that normally reaches the moon. Instead of that sunlight hitting the moon’s surface, Earth's shadow falls on it.

Lunar eclipses are often also referred to the "blood moon" because when the Earth's shadow covers the moon, it often produces a red color. The coloration happens because a bit of reddish sunlight still reaches the moon's surface, even though it's in Earth's shadow.

Difference between lunar eclipse and solar eclipse

The major difference between the two eclipses is in the positioning of the sun, the moon and the Earth and the longevity of the phenomenon, according to NASA.

A lunar eclipse can last for a few hours, while a solar eclipse lasts only a few minutes. Solar eclipses also rarely occur, while lunar eclipses are comparatively more frequent. While at least two partial lunar eclipses happen every year, total lunar eclipses are still rare, says NASA.

Another major difference between the two is that for lunar eclipses, no special glasses or gizmos are needed to view the spectacle and one can directly stare at the moon. However, for solar eclipses, it is pertinent to wear proper viewing glasses and take the necessary safety precautions because the powerful rays of the sun can burn and damage your retinas.

Contributing: Eric Lagatta, Doyle Rice, USA TODAY

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Why Do Y'all Hate Caitlin Clark So Much?

Is it a race thing? Do people believe she's overrated? Do people think she's too cocky? The Complex Sports team sat down to answer questions on why people hate Caitlin Clark.

Female basketball player in Iowa uniform walking on court, focus on player #22

We've never seen a generational (yes, generational) talent like Caitlin Clark be this polarizing of a figure in sports early in a career. You may combat that statement by mentioning a guy like LeBron James, who has a significant amount of haters but the majority of those haters have a great deal of respect for him as well. His hate was also built up over time. When it comes to Caitlin Clark, there's been a lot of hate and disrespect off the bat. Fans are going to be fans and say whatever they want whether it's based off facts or opinions but when former and current players are piling on as well, you have to stop and evaluate the situation.

You don't have to like Caitlin Clark or her play style but you definitely have to recognize and acknowledge what she's done for the game of women's basketball. No other college athlete in the past 25 years has transcended their sport like Clark has. Women's college basketball is at its peak in popularity right now and that's on the back of Clark. As Dawn Staley said after the national championship, Clark is undisputedly one the greatest of all time in the sport but not everyone likes to hear that.

Let us briefly go down some of the responses from the legends of women's basketball to Caitlin's play on the court. Sheryl Swoopes tried to invalidate her scoring record with incorrect statements, Diana Taurasi sent a warning to Clark about her future in the WNBA, Breanna Stewart said Clark needed a championship to be considered an all-time great, and Lynette Woodard said Clark didn't break her scoring record because Clark didn't play with men's basketball and without a 3-point line. These are four legends in women's basketball refusing to uplift someone who has helped changed the game instead they're nitpicking her legacy. Clark on the other hand is quick to acknowledge the groundwork that was laid before her.

So why do so many people disrespect Caitlin Clark? Is it a race thing? Do people believe she's overrated? Do people think she's too cocky? The Complex Sports sat down to answer some of these questions.

If you don’t rock with Caitlin Clark game you’re just a FLAT OUT HATER!!!!! Stay far away from them people!! PLEASE — LeBron James (@KingJames) April 7, 2024

Is it a Race Thing?

Iowa women's basketball team in uniform on the court during a game, one player in a wheelchair

It’s hard to say that it isn’t considering the country we live in. Whether people want to admit it or not, almost everything in this country can be boiled down to race and privileges that white Americans benefit from that African Americans historically don’t benefit from. Add in the extra layer of African American women notoriously being underrepresented and marginalized and the conversation surrounding Caitlin Clark’s greatness can become even more complex. Especially considering the legends that she is being compared to and even placed ahead of are predominantly African American women, as well as the two teams she has faced in the national title in consecutive years were lead by predominantly African American women rosters and faces.

With all of that being said, I do think that she unfairly became the face of an online race war that she didn’t ask for. She doesn’t speak negatively about anybody, isn’t disrespectful, but somehow she has become the lightning rod of race debates on X (Twitter) by merely being great at basketball. The hate that she has received is misplaced, in my opinion. - Kam

Let's be honest, we're all on social media. We've all seen the discourse when it's come to Iowa playing against LSU or South Carolina. I'm all for Black people winning and achieving great things ESPECIALLY my favorite coach Dawn Staley but when it comes to evaluating Caitlin Clark, race should not be a factor. We get it, she's a midwest white girl cooking everyone in a sport dominated by Black people. We get it, she plays at a predominantly white school with white teammates but it's weird to make a race thing when she's done nothing but show respect to everyone including Black stars like Angel Reese. When Reese was getting criticized for mocking Clark's hand gesture in front of her during last year's national championship, Clark came out and said she didn't deserve the criticism she was getting. - Zion

Is It Because Her Name Is in Conversations With All-Time Greats?

Three UConn basketball players on court celebrating, with one making an "OK" gesture

Listen, you always have to respect the legends that came before you. Caitlin said that herself. All the greats like Maya Moore, Sheryl Swoopes, Lynette Woodard, Breanna Stewart, Diana Taurasi, and many other names have set the foundation but a foundation is created to be built upon. Caitlin is a talent we've never seen before. She's producing numbers that we have never seen before and quite frankly, she's playing with less talent than a lot of these names. Iowa is no mid-major and they still collect top 100 talent in America but compared to the likes of UConn, LSU, and South Carolina, there's a big gap in recruiting.

Yes, she didn't win a ring but can we add context to that? I'm sure if she went to UConn or SC, she'd have a ring but she's nearly willed her team on her back to a championship in back-to-back years. We can't deny her greatness. She's broken nearly every scoring record in the sport. Let's not penalize her for a team award in college when she's proved her greatness. It's annoying to see greats like Sheryl Swoopes, Lynette Woodard, Diana Taurasi, and Breanna Stewart not embrace Clark for what she's done. - Zion

Most definitely. When somebody is breaking records and being compared to icons that we grew up watching and generations before us saw build a sport to prominence, there will always be some sort of pushback against new names being thrown in the conversation. It’s no different than LeBron James being added in the GOAT convo as his career progressed and passing the likes of Kobe Bryant, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird in the eyes of the public and other icons to be placed at the table with Michael Jordan. When somebody comes along that passes the iconic names of the past, it will inevitably lead to some uncomfortable conversations, and possibly even over-the-top hate. - Kam

take notes diana taurasi, breanna stewart, and lynette woodward. THIS is how u give flowers and empower woman’s hoops pic.twitter.com/cj0jBhCyYn — Teddy💛 (@Teddy_20) April 7, 2024

Do You Think She's Too Cocky?

Female basketball player in uniform with "IOWA 22" running on court during a game

To be honest, I don’t think she is cocky enough. Angel Reese is cocky, and has earned the right to be with the resume and body of work she has amassed in her four years in college. She is one of the most dominant and decorated players of a generation and delivered a national title to LSU when they had never won one before. And truth be told, I think the game is better when you have a dynamic personality like Angel Reese in it, it’s much more entertaining. If Caitlin Clark were just as cocky as Reese, it would be well deserved and well within her right. The fact that she hardly speaks at all from what we see tells me she isn’t as cocky as she could be. Lord knows if I were as good as any of these women at basketball, I would be unbearable on the court, and even to my detractors on social media. - Kam

NO! We are the same basketball fans that celebrate and laugh at Steph Curry's shimmy & gallop down court after threes. We praise Kobe and Michael Jordan for their killer mentality and always wanting to smack talk. Heck, we compare Anthony Edwards to MJ because of it! We are the same fans that criticize players for being too friendly in basketball culture today. Caitlin Clark's on-court gestures and confidence is what we ask for daily so why would we hold it against her. She's competitive and she has earned the right to talk her talk because at the end day, you can't stop her. - Zion

Is it Because You Think She's Overrated or Overhyped?

Person lying on the floor with confetti, hands behind head, celebrating a basketball victory

I just don't get how you can call her overrated. She just averaged 32-7-9 with every defense keying in on her. She's a talent we've never seen before in the women's game. She's brought attention to the game like nobody else. Like Dawn Staley said, she's one of the greatest to ever play. All the record-breaking television ratings included games revolving around Caitlin Clark. Sure, she doesn't have a ring but that doesn't away from what she's done for the game and what she's produced on the court.

I mean, she dropped 18 points in the first quarter of a national championship game against undefeated South Carolina. You'd think the discourse would be about her performance. Nope, most people were complaining that refs were blatantly favoring Iowa. Instead of uplifting a great performance, we are finding ways to belittle it. - Zion

I honestly think she is appropriately rated. Whether you think she is the GOAT is your own prerogative, but she has forced her way into the conversation and is not out of place. The NCAA’s all-time leading scorer for men’s and women’s basketball as well as one of the greatest passers we have seen means she belongs in the conversation. Factor in that she took a program that had one Final Four appearance in their programs history before she arrived to two consecutive national championship games, it’s hard to see how you can slight her. She might not have won the national title, but you can’t say she isn’t a winner.

She defeated an undefeated South Carolina team in a Final Four, got even with the LSU team that beat her in the national title to advance to the Final Four this year, and then bested the player most directly compared to her in Paige Bueckers to reach the national championship this season. If you are trying to slight her and knock her down, I don’t understand it. If you recognize her greatness while also believing somebody like Breanna Stewart or Maya Moore or Sheryl Swoopes or Candance Parker is better, you’re not wrong at all. - Kam

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What Solar Eclipse-Gazing Has Looked Like for the Past 2 Centuries

Millions of people on Monday will continue the tradition of experiencing and capturing solar eclipses, a pursuit that has spawned a lot of unusual gear.

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In a black-and-white photo from 1945, nine men, some in military uniforms, stand in the middle of a New York City street. They are holding a small piece of what looks like glass or a photographic negative above their heads to protect their eyes as they watch the eclipse. The original border of the print, as well as some numbers and crop marks drawn onto it, are visible.

By Sarah Eckinger

April 8, 2024

For centuries, people have been clamoring to glimpse solar eclipses. From astronomers with custom-built photographic equipment to groups huddled together with special glasses, this spectacle has captivated the human imagination.

Creating a Permanent Record

In 1860, Warren de la Rue captured what many sources describe as the first photograph of a total solar eclipse . He took it in Rivabellosa, Spain, with an instrument known as the Kew Photoheliograph . This combination of a telescope and camera was specifically built to photograph the sun.

Forty years later, Nevil Maskelyne, a magician and an astronomy enthusiast, filmed a total solar eclipse in North Carolina. The footage was lost, however, and only released in 2019 after it was rediscovered in the Royal Astronomical Society’s archives.

Telescopic Vision

For scientists and astronomers, eclipses provide an opportunity not only to view the moon’s umbra and gaze at the sun’s corona, but also to make observations that further their studies. Many observatories, or friendly neighbors with a telescope, also make their instruments available to the public during eclipses.

Fredrik Hjalmar Johansen, Fridtjof Nansen and Sigurd Scott Hansen observing a solar eclipse while on a polar expedition in 1894 .

Women from Wellesley College in Massachusetts and their professor tested out equipment ahead of their eclipse trip (to “catch old Sol in the act,” as the original New York Times article phrased it) to New London, Conn., in 1922.

A group from Swarthmore College in Pennsylvania traveled to Yerbaniz, Mexico, in 1923, with telescopes and a 65-foot camera to observe the sun’s corona .

Dr. J.J. Nassau, director of the Warner and Swasey Observatory at Case School of Applied Science in Cleveland, prepared to head to Douglas Hill, Maine, to study an eclipse in 1932. An entire freight car was required to transport the institution’s equipment.

Visitors viewed a solar eclipse at an observatory in Berlin in the mid-1930s.

A family set up two telescopes in Bar Harbor, Maine, in 1963. The two children placed stones on the base to help steady them.

An astronomer examined equipment for an eclipse in a desert in Mauritania in June 1973. We credit the hot climate for his choice in outfit.

Indirect Light

If you see people on Monday sprinting to your local park clutching pieces of paper, or with a cardboard box of their head, they are probably planning to reflect or project images of the solar eclipse onto a surface.

Cynthia Goulakos demonstrated a safe way to view a solar eclipse , with two pieces of cardboard to create a reflection of the shadowed sun, in Lowell, Mass., in 1970.

Another popular option is to create a pinhole camera. This woman did so in Central Park in 1963 by using a paper cup with a small hole in the bottom and a twin-lens reflex camera.

Amateur astronomers viewed a partial eclipse, projected from a telescope onto a screen, from atop the Empire State Building in 1967 .

Back in Central Park, in 1970, Irving Schwartz and his wife reflected an eclipse onto a piece of paper by holding binoculars on the edge of a garbage basket.

Children in Denver in 1979 used cardboard viewing boxes and pieces of paper with small pinholes to view projections of a partial eclipse.

A crowd gathered around a basin of water dyed with dark ink, waiting for the reflection of a solar eclipse to appear, in Hanoi, Vietnam, in 1995.

Staring at the Sun (or, How Not to Burn Your Retinas)

Eclipse-gazers have used different methods to protect their eyes throughout the years, some safer than others .

In 1927, women gathered at a window in a building in London to watch a total eclipse through smoked glass. This was popularized in France in the 1700s , but fell out of favor when physicians began writing papers on children whose vision was damaged.

Another trend was to use a strip of exposed photographic film, as seen below in Sydney, Australia, in 1948 and in Turkana, Kenya, in 1963. This method, which was even suggested by The Times in 1979 , has since been declared unsafe.

Solar eclipse glasses are a popular and safe way to view the event ( if you use models compliant with international safety standards ). Over the years there have been various styles, including these large hand-held options found in West Palm Beach, Fla., in 1979.

Parents and children watched a partial eclipse through their eclipse glasses in Tokyo in 1981.

Slimmer, more colorful options were used in Nabusimake, Colombia, in 1998.

In France in 1999.

And in Iran and England in 1999.

And the best way to see the eclipse? With family and friends at a watch party, like this one in Isalo National Park in Madagascar in 2001.

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Solar eclipse 2024: Follow the path of totality

Solar eclipse myths and rumors bubble up, from radiation to food poisoning.

Bill Chappell

People visit a NASA information booth to grab solar eclipse glasses in Russellville, Arkansas. The space agency has debunked a number of myths about the total solar eclipse — including ideas about food going bad, or unborn babies being harmed. Mario Tama/Getty Images hide caption

Will a solar eclipse harm a pregnant woman's baby if she looks at it? Does an eclipse emit special radiation that can instantly blind you?

Those are some of the ideas people have been asking about — and that experts have been pooh-poohing — as people in North America anticipated seeing a total eclipse, from Mazatlán to Montreal.

Here's what time the eclipse will be visible in your region

Monday's total solar eclipse begins over Mexico's Pacific Coast at around 11:07 a.m. PT, moving east through Texas and up to Maine, finally leaving the continent on Newfoundland's Atlantic coast.

Solar eclipses have long triggered fanciful explanations and warnings, from religious mythology to modern-day superstition. In recent days, for instance, a message circulated online warning people to turn off their cellphones and other devices before midnight ahead of the eclipse, warning of powerful radiation and cosmic rays.

In reality, a solar eclipse brings a temporary sharp drop in solar radiation — an event that ham radio operators have been eagerly anticipating for months, with competitions and experiments looking to fill the Earth's suddenly radiation-free ionosphere with radio signals.

Persistent but unfounded beliefs even prompted NASA to devote a special page to debunking misconceptions about a solar eclipse.

Total eclipses don't produce rays that cause blindness, NASA says

During totality, electromagnetic radiation from the sun's corona will not harm you. In fact, the only time it's safe to look at the sun without eye protection, as the sun's brightness is fully obscured by the moon and its corona is visible.

But outside of totality, your eyes can be harmed during an eclipse. If the sun is only partially obscured, looking at it will damage your retina. You can look if you have special solar glasses, but don't count on those to protect you if you want to use a telescope or camera lens that doesn't have a solar filter.

As NASA says , "the concentrated solar rays will burn through the filter and cause serious eye injury."

Another thing to remember: Take breaks if you're using a special filter to look at the sun before or after totality. As the space agency says , the sun's infrared radiation can make you uncomfortable, "as it literally warms the eye."

You should look away from the sun periodically, or use an indirect viewer like a pinhole projector to track the eclipse.

More things NASA says are NOT true about a total solar eclipse

Myth: if you are pregnant you should not watch an eclipse because it can harm your baby..

Another notion that seems to be rooted in concern about radiation. To put people's mind at ease, NASA employs a sort of "you're already soaking in it" example, citing the neutrino particles produced by the sun's nuclear fusion:

"Every second, your body is pelted by trillions of these neutrinos no matter if the sun is above or below the horizon. The only consequence is that every few minutes a few atoms in your body are transmuted into a different isotope by absorbing a neutrino. This is an entirely harmless effect and would not harm you, or if you are pregnant, the developing fetus."

MYTH: Eclipses will poison any food that is prepared during the event.

NASA gives a hypothetical: What if some bad potato salad makes people sick during an eclipse? Food poisoning is very common — and it shouldn't be blamed on a rare celestial event, the agency notes.

"The basic idea is that total solar eclipses are terrifying and their ghostly green coronae look frightening, so it is natural to want to make up fearful stories about them and look for coincidences among events around you."

Other myths have to do with omens and major events

Here are four that NASA singles out for debunking:

MYTH: Eclipses are harbingers of something very bad about to happen.

Myth: solar eclipses foretell major life changes and events about to happen., myth: solar eclipses are a sign of an exceptional celestial event taking place in time and space., myth: solar eclipses six months after your birthday, or on your birthday, are a sign of impending bad health..

NASA ascribes many of these ideas to astrological forecasts being propped up by confirmation bias.

As the agency says, "We tend to remember all the occasions when two things happened together, but forget all of the other times when they did not."

Other myths — such as the idea that the moon turns black during an eclipse, or that the Earth's two poles don't see eclipses — are simply false, the agency says.

Eclipses have deep spiritual meanings

Ideas about an eclipse's potentially powerful effects aren't new. In fact, solar eclipses do also cause some unusual things to happen .

Want to see how a solar eclipse alters colors? Wear red and green on Monday

People in totality can expect to feel a sudden drop in temperature, for instance. Stars and planets become visible in the middle of the day, and humans can experience a range of odd visual effects — from the sharpness of shadows to the movement of "shadow bands" and a change in how we perceive color.

Then there's the eerie effect of the eclipse moving from west to east, adding to the perception that time isn't moving in its normal path.

Many cultures and religions link eclipses to energy, seeing them as events of renewal and promise — or in some cases, of vital energy being drained away.

For the Ojibwe and other Indigenous peoples in the Great Lakes region, a story about a solar eclipse centers on a boy and his sister who trap the sun after it burns him.

In many folktales, magical animals try to eat the sun or the moon. In Hindu mythology, a serpent god, Rahu Ketu, wanted to eat the sun — but then his head was cut off. That created two new entities, Rahu and Ketu, according to the Folklife Today blog from the Library of Congress.

"These are the deities of eclipses and comets. Rahu is fixated on eating the sun and the moon, and will try to catch them and gobble them up," the blog notes. "Fortunately he only succeeds once in a while. Since his head was cut off, the sun or moon just falls out the hole where his neck used to be. This is an eclipse."

As Folklife Today notes, in many cultures, humans take up the duty of ending an eclipse, often by making noise and beating on drums or gongs to dispel the spirit that's attempting to take the sun.

News from the Columbia Climate School

Protecting Our Planet: 5 Strategies for Reducing Plastic Waste

Olga Rukovets

Microplastics in the Chesapeake Bay Watershed

Plastics are ubiquitous in our world, and given that plastic waste can take thousands of years to break down , there’s more of it to be found on Earth every single day. Worse yet is the fact that the stuff doesn’t easily decompose —it mostly just disintegrates into smaller and smaller pieces.

These tiny particles, called microplastics , have found their way to all parts of our globe , no matter how remote. They’re also increasingly detected in our food and drinking water. A recent study by Columbia researchers found that water bottles contain even more—10 to 100 times more—of these minute plastic bits (dubbed “nanoplastics”) than we previously believed. The health effects and downstream repercussions of microplastics are not fully understood, but researchers are concerned about the long-term impacts of ingesting all this plastic.

Meaningful change to clean up this mess will undoubtedly need to happen on a very large scale. Accordingly, Earthday.org , an organization that originates from the first Earth Day back in 1970, has designated this year’s theme as Planet vs. Plastics , with a goal of achieving a 60% reduction in plastics production by 2040. Organizations like Ocean Cleanup have been working on technologies to clean up the plastic floating in our oceans and polluting our waterways. And in 2022, 175 UN member nations signed on to a global agreement that promises to produce a binding treaty to overcome the scourge of plastic by the end of this year (though it has not been without setbacks ).

What are some actions individuals can take on a regular basis to reduce plastics consumption?

1. Embrace the circular economy

Increasingly, advocates are calling for a circular approach to production and consumption as one important way to reduce the burden of plastic waste. Sandra Goldmark , senior assistant dean of interdisciplinary engagement at the Columbia Climate School, reminds us that circularity is very much in use in the modern world—we have public libraries, neighborhood swaps and traditional and regenerative agricultural practices that demonstrate the success of the concept. But it does need to be harnessed on a global scale for the benefits to be palpable. “Currently [our economy] is just 8.6% circular,” Goldmark said. “Over 90% of the resources extracted from the earth are manufactured into goods that are used, usually once, and then sent to landfill or incinerated, often within a year.” By encouraging greater reuse, repurposing and exchange of these goods, we can keep more plastic out of our oceans and reduce global greenhouse gas emissions substantively.

Fast fashion, for example, may be appealing for its convenience and low prices—but what are the true costs? With 100 billion garments being produced every year, 87% end up as waste ( 40 million tons ) in a landfill or incinerator. The average person is now buying 60 percent more clothing than they did 15 years ago, but they’re only keeping them for half as long as they used to, according to EarthDay.org .

Instead, the UN Environment Programme recommends re-wearing clothes more frequently and washing them less often. Look for neighborhood swaps and Buy Nothing groups, where you can trade items with your local community. Consider repairing items before trading them in for new ones. See additional tips for healthier consumption of “stuff” here .

2. Reduce your reliance on single-use plastics

Considering the fact that Americans currently purchase about 50 billion water bottles per year, switching to a reusable water bottle could save an average of 156 plastic bottles annually. Start bringing reusable shopping bags and containers when you go to the grocery store or coffee shop.

Many cities and states have already implemented plastic bag bans as one step toward decreasing our use of these plastics. Some local businesses even offer discounts for bringing your own coffee cup or bags with you.

3. If all else fails, recycle (responsibly)

When it can’t be avoided, recycle your plastic correctly . If you try to recycle the wrong items—sometimes called “ wishcycling ”—it can slow down an already constrained sorting process. One rule to remember, Keefe Harrison, CEO of the Recycling Partnership , told NPR: “When in doubt, leave it out.”

Recycling programs vary between communities and states, so it’s important to get to know your symbols and research what they mean in your own zip code . For example , plastic bags and plastic wrap or film cannot be placed in your household recycling bin, but some stores have special collections for those items. The symbol on the bottom of a plastic container can tell you what the plastic is made from, which can help guide your decision to recycle it or not, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it can be picked up by your local recycling program. Local websites, like New York City’s 311 , can provide a more detailed breakdown of the types of items that can and cannot be recycled—e.g., rigid plastic packaging including “clamshells”: yes; tubes from cosmetics and toothpaste: no.

Still, reports of how much (or how little) of our plastic waste is actually recycled are alarming—with some estimates ranging from 10% to as low as 5% —so it is still best to opt for other alternatives whenever possible.

4. Get involved with local actions and clean-ups

There are many local movements doing their part to mitigate the environmental contamination caused by plastics pollution. Take a look at what’s happening locally in your neighborhood and globally. Check with your parks department for organized community efforts or consider starting your own . As part of EarthDay.org, you can register your initiative with the Great Global Cleanup , where you can find helpful tips on all stages of this process and connect with a worldwide community.

5. Stay informed about new legislation

As the world grapples with the growing plastics crisis, some states are trying to take matters into their own hands. In California, the Plastic Pollution Prevention and Packaging Producer Responsibility Act (known as SB 54 ), mandates the switch to compostable packaging for all single-use utensils, containers and other receptacles by 2032, with steep fines for companies that don’t comply. New York is currently moving ahead with a bill called Packaging Reduction and Recycling Infrastructure Act , with the goal of cutting down plastic packaging by 50% in the next 12 years; if it is signed into law, this legislation would also mandate charging fees for noncompliant brands.

Pay attention to what’s happening in your own county, state or country and get involved with efforts to advocate for causes you support. Send messages to your representatives, educate your neighbors and friends, and join a larger contingent of people trying to make the world a better and more sustainable place for current and future generations.

Quiz: Plastics 101

Was It an Alien Spacecraft—Or a Delivery Truck?

A Virtual Reality Film That Makes the Climate Crisis Feel “Real”

Celebrate over 50 years of Earth Day with us all month long! Visit our Earth Day website for ideas, resources, and inspiration.

Get the Columbia Climate School Newsletter →

8 Ways to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think

We all like to be liked, but it can come at a cost..

Posted October 17, 2016 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma

Although it is a universal desire, some people have more anxiety about being liked than others do.
Often the desire to be liked can stem from someone in one's past making their affection and connection seem conditional.
The anxiety one may feel about what others think can sometimes be overcome with a little self-awareness.

To feel accepted is a nearly universal human desire. After all, we evolved to survive better in groups, where fitting in and having the trust and respect of our peers are the measures of success. The need to belong is in our DNA .

But sometimes that need takes center stage, and what others think about us takes on more importance than what we think about ourselves.

We may analyze each look and word that comes our way for clues that we’ve been judged and found acceptable or lacking. Someone passing in the hall without a hello may leave us red-faced and convinced we don’t deserve notice. We may people-please , always putting others first, which leaves us open to being taken advantage of while we chase praise. We may exhaust ourselves trying to be cool enough, hard-working enough, attractive enough, or successful enough to feel valued.

What’s behind this anxiety about being liked, and why are some of us so much more vulnerable to it than others?

In many cases, it’s a type of echo from the past. At some point in our lives, something or someone may have made connection and affection seem conditional , something we have to fight for and don’t really deserve. A sense of shame develops as we inevitably fall short of perfection. Author Brené Brown, who has spent her career studying shame and the ways in which we can develop what she calls “shame resilience ,” writes of this in her book The Gifts of Imperfection:

“Healthy striving is self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’ Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?’”

Perhaps your childhood caregivers were emotionally distant, physically or verbally abusive, or set impossible standards. Perhaps you were bullied at school. Perhaps you felt as though you never measured up in our competitive comparison culture.

Or perhaps you can't pinpoint an explanation. You just know you feel insecure and unworthy, and that leads you to count on others for reassurance that you matter and belong.

To be sure, wanting to be thought of positively isn’t a bad thing. We all need a little awareness of how others view us to keep balanced and attuned to how we affect others. But too much concern about what people think can lead us to value only what others want from us, rather than what we desire and need. And the irony is that what starts out as an effort to ensure our happiness and acceptance can end up doing the opposite.

Creating a New Mindset

If you recognize that you are someone who's anxious about being liked, there are steps you can take to get back to a healthier relationship with others and with yourself.

1. Keep things in perspective .

It’s said that people would care a lot less about what others think about them if they knew how little others think about them. And it’s true: Everyone has enough to occupy their mind. They also have their own insecurities. If you're worried about how you come across to someone you’ve just met, keep in mind that they’re probably doing the same.

2. Question your thinking.

Humans tend toward cognitive distortions, patterns of negative thinking that can hurt our mood or behavior. For example, we may assume the worst, or filter out the good in a situation and pay attention only to the bad. Or we may overgeneralize or jump to conclusions. Pay attention to your thoughts, and question them rather than allowing impressions to run away with you. You may discover that what you’re fretting over exists only in your mind.

3. Let go of perfection.

It can be hard to shake the feeling that if you just get things right , you will be loved and admired. But this is a fruitless pursuit, not only because perfection is an illusion, but because what people think about you has more to do with them than with you.

4. Get to know yourself.

What do you really like? What do you really want? Are you making choices about your career, relationships, and pastimes because you want them or because they’ll please or impress someone else? Allow yourself to try new things and wonder, “What would I pursue or enjoy if I wasn't so worried about being judged?”

5. Find your tribe.

Somewhere out there are people who can identify with you and appreciate you for who you are. Don’t waste time trying to hang on to those who expect you to conform to their wishes and wants. Cultivate authenticity , and you’ll find those you are meant to be with. As Brown writes in Daring Greatly, “Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”

6. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

It can be terrifying to go against the grain, speak out, take a risk, or face disapproval. But decide what matters to you, trust yourself, and go for it. We don’t grow by always playing it safe; we grow by allowing ourselves a chance to fail.

7. Accept a helping hand.

The anxiety you feel about what others think can sometimes be overcome with a little self-awareness. But in some cases, especially for those with underlying trauma or mental health issues, professional help can help you get to the root of your feelings. Allow yourself to reach out for the care you need rather than prolonging your suffering.

8. Be your own friend.

It’s a tough reality, but you will never be able to make everyone like you, no matter what you do. But look on the bright side: No one else can do it, either. So accept the twinges that will inevitably come when you realize you haven’t made a connection with someone, and focus instead on a goal that will take you further toward being the kind of person you want to be—learning to like yourself, flaws and all.

LinkedIn Image Credit: Eugenio Marongiu/Shutterstock

David Sack, M.D., is board certified in addiction psychiatry and addiction medicine and serves as CMO of Elements Behavioral Health and Promises Treatment Centers.

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9 facts about americans and marijuana.

People smell a cannabis plant on April 20, 2023, at Washington Square Park in New York City. (Leonardo Munoz/VIEWpress)

The use and possession of marijuana is illegal under U.S. federal law, but about three-quarters of states have legalized the drug for medical or recreational purposes. The changing legal landscape has coincided with a decades-long rise in public support for legalization, which a majority of Americans now favor.

Here are nine facts about Americans’ views of and experiences with marijuana, based on Pew Research Center surveys and other sources.

As more states legalize marijuana, Pew Research Center looked at Americans’ opinions on legalization and how these views have changed over time.

Data comes from surveys by the Center, Gallup , and the 2022 National Survey on Drug Use and Health from the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Information about the jurisdictions where marijuana is legal at the state level comes from the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws .

More information about the Center surveys cited in the analysis, including the questions asked and their methodologies, can be found at the links in the text.

Around nine-in-ten Americans say marijuana should be legal for medical or recreational use, according to a January 2024 Pew Research Center survey . An overwhelming majority of U.S. adults (88%) say either that marijuana should be legal for medical use only (32%) or that it should be legal for medical and recreational use (57%). Just 11% say the drug should not be legal in any form. These views have held relatively steady over the past five years.

A pie chart showing that only about 1 in 10 U.S. adults say marijuana should not be legal at all.

Views on marijuana legalization differ widely by age, political party, and race and ethnicity, the January survey shows.

A horizontal stacked bar chart showing that views about legalizing marijuana differ by race and ethnicity, age and partisanship.

While small shares across demographic groups say marijuana should not be legal at all, those least likely to favor it for both medical and recreational use include:

Older adults: 31% of adults ages 75 and older support marijuana legalization for medical and recreational purposes, compared with half of those ages 65 to 74, the next youngest age category. By contrast, 71% of adults under 30 support legalization for both uses.
Republicans and GOP-leaning independents: 42% of Republicans favor legalizing marijuana for both uses, compared with 72% of Democrats and Democratic leaners. Ideological differences exist as well: Within both parties, those who are more conservative are less likely to support legalization.
Hispanic and Asian Americans: 45% in each group support legalizing the drug for medical and recreational use. Larger shares of Black (65%) and White (59%) adults hold this view.

Support for marijuana legalization has increased dramatically over the last two decades. In addition to asking specifically about medical and recreational use of the drug, both the Center and Gallup have asked Americans about legalizing marijuana use in a general way. Gallup asked this question most recently, in 2023. That year, 70% of adults expressed support for legalization, more than double the share who said they favored it in 2000.

A line chart showing that U.S. public opinion on legalizing marijuana, 1969-2023.

Half of U.S. adults (50.3%) say they have ever used marijuana, according to the 2022 National Survey on Drug Use and Health . That is a smaller share than the 84.1% who say they have ever consumed alcohol and the 64.8% who have ever used tobacco products or vaped nicotine.

While many Americans say they have used marijuana in their lifetime, far fewer are current users, according to the same survey. In 2022, 23.0% of adults said they had used the drug in the past year, while 15.9% said they had used it in the past month.

While many Americans say legalizing recreational marijuana has economic and criminal justice benefits, views on these and other impacts vary, the Center’s January survey shows.

Economic benefits: About half of adults (52%) say that legalizing recreational marijuana is good for local economies, while 17% say it is bad. Another 29% say it has no impact.

A horizontal stacked bar chart showing how Americans view the effects of legalizing recreational marijuana.

Criminal justice system fairness: 42% of Americans say legalizing marijuana for recreational use makes the criminal justice system fairer, compared with 18% who say it makes the system less fair. About four-in-ten (38%) say it has no impact.
Use of other drugs: 27% say this policy decreases the use of other drugs like heroin, fentanyl and cocaine, and 29% say it increases it. But the largest share (42%) say it has no effect on other drug use.
Community safety: 21% say recreational legalization makes communities safer and 34% say it makes them less safe. Another 44% say it doesn’t impact safety.

Democrats and adults under 50 are more likely than Republicans and those in older age groups to say legalizing marijuana has positive impacts in each of these areas.

Most Americans support easing penalties for people with marijuana convictions, an October 2021 Center survey found . Two-thirds of adults say they favor releasing people from prison who are being held for marijuana-related offenses only, including 41% who strongly favor this. And 61% support removing or expunging marijuana-related offenses from people’s criminal records.

Younger adults, Democrats and Black Americans are especially likely to support these changes. For instance, 74% of Black adults favor releasing people from prison who are being held only for marijuana-related offenses, and just as many favor removing or expunging marijuana-related offenses from criminal records.

Twenty-four states and the District of Columbia have legalized small amounts of marijuana for both medical and recreational use as of March 2024, according to the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), an advocacy group that tracks state-level legislation on the issue. Another 14 states have legalized the drug for medical use only.

A map of the U.S. showing that nearly half of states have legalized the recreational use of marijuana.

Of the remaining 12 states, all allow limited access to products such as CBD oil that contain little to no THC – the main psychoactive substance in cannabis. And 26 states overall have at least partially decriminalized recreational marijuana use , as has the District of Columbia.

In addition to 24 states and D.C., the U.S. Virgin Islands , Guam and the Northern Mariana Islands have legalized marijuana for medical and recreational use.

More than half of Americans (54%) live in a state where both recreational and medical marijuana are legal, and 74% live in a state where it’s legal either for both purposes or medical use only, according to a February Center analysis of data from the Census Bureau and other outside sources. This analysis looked at state-level legislation in all 50 states and the District of Columbia.

In 2012, Colorado and Washington became the first states to pass legislation legalizing recreational marijuana.

About eight-in-ten Americans (79%) live in a county with at least one cannabis dispensary, according to the February analysis. There are nearly 15,000 marijuana dispensaries nationwide, and 76% are in states (including D.C.) where recreational use is legal. Another 23% are in medical marijuana-only states, and 1% are in states that have made legal allowances for low-percentage THC or CBD-only products.

The states with the largest number of dispensaries include California, Oklahoma, Florida, Colorado and Michigan.

A map of the U.S. showing that cannabis dispensaries are common along the coasts and in a few specific states.

Note: This is an update of a post originally published April 26, 2021, and updated April 13, 2023.

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Americans overwhelmingly say marijuana should be legal for medical or recreational use

Religious americans are less likely to endorse legal marijuana for recreational use, four-in-ten u.s. drug arrests in 2018 were for marijuana offenses – mostly possession, two-thirds of americans support marijuana legalization, most popular.

About Pew Research Center Pew Research Center is a nonpartisan fact tank that informs the public about the issues, attitudes and trends shaping the world. It conducts public opinion polling, demographic research, media content analysis and other empirical social science research. Pew Research Center does not take policy positions. It is a subsidiary of The Pew Charitable Trusts .

‘I think they’re growing on me:’ Phillies react to City Connect jerseys ahead of Friday’s debut

T he Phillies will debut their City Connect jerseys on Friday night, and so far, there are mixed reviews . Some fans like them, some don’t. Many players were grateful that the jerseys arrived on time (unlike the Texas Rangers, who won’t receive their City Connects until April 26).

Reliever Orion Kerkering was skeptical at first but has changed his views.

“I think they’re growing on me,” he said. “I think at first, when it first came out, I was like, ‘Oh, I’m not a fan.’ But I think once I kept seeing them, I thought they looked cool.”

The jerseys are blue and black, with yellow and white lettering, coupled with black pants. A “Love” patch on the sleeve represents the LOVE sculpture in Center City, and the caps have an image of the Liberty Bell on them.

The Phillies will wear them for every Friday home game at Citizens Bank Park throughout the rest of the season. Brandon Marsh and Bryson Stott said they were both fans.

“I’m excited,” Marsh said. “We’re all excited to put them on in front of our fans, in front of our city. So it’s going to be electric — no pun intended.”

“I like them,” Stott said. “We did our photo shoot in spring and had to hide all of our batting gloves and elbow guards and cleats and everything from you guys, but now they’re out. So I think it’s going to be cool to see some of the things the guys bring out. I kind of enjoy them.”

Stott took some creative liberties with his cleats to match the uniform. He got a custom-made pair from a company called Nxt Lvl Customs, with different sections of the city written on the back of the shoes. Everything from Olney to Fishtown to Germantown is represented.

“I like the switch-up,” Marsh added. “I like that they’re different from anything we’ve ever worn, at least in my time being here. This is the new-new. We’re excited to bring them out tonight.”

How Kerkering’s rehab assignment will help him this season

No one likes to start the season on the injured list. But Kerkering, who is nearing the end of his rehab assignment — for a right forearm strain — said he has found a silver lining. He plans to work in more two-seam fastballs into his repertoire this season so hitters can’t just sit on his slider. The rehab assignment allowed time to figure out how to use the new pitch best.

“I think [that time in the minors] helped a lot,” he said. “It was almost like … I wouldn’t say a blessing in disguise, but it helped me not worry as much about whether I’m locating it in. I think spring training I was kind of pressing a bit to figure out how to use it effectively. Between going from triple A back to low A, and back and forth, seeing different hitters and seeing what they do with it, I think it’s helped me a lot.

“I think it’s about trusting it more, and not overthinking where I want to place it. Just going for a strike like I do with my slider or four-seam — just throw it over the plate, and know it’s a good pitch and trust it.”

Kerkering has made five rehab outings (excluding an intrasquad game he pitched in Clearwater, Fla.). He’s allowed only two hits, no earned runs and walks, and struck out 10 in 4⅓ innings pitched. He said his velocity is where it normally is — in the high 90s — and his body feels good. The Phillies will give him a few days of rest and then decide when to take him off the injured list.

He is optimistic that the two-seam will help.

“I think it helps a lot, just because it just shows them an extra pitch,” Kerkering said. “It’s not like I have to throw it a ton, but adding it in the back of their heads, one is more vertical and the other is more horizontal, and they’re generally the same speed, give or take one or two miles per hour. I think it helps a lot that they have to look left and right, up and down.”

Extra bases

Taijuan Walker (right shoulder soreness) threw his first rehab outing Thursday night. Manager Rob Thomson said that it was “good.” He was in the 90-92 mph range, and believe his velocity is “trending up.”

“He threw strikes,” Thomson said. “He threw 47 pitches in the game and then he went down to the bullpen and threw 15 more. So he got to 62. He’s going to pitch Tuesday in Lehigh Valley. We’re probably going to get him into the 75-80 pitch area.”

The Phillies would like to get Walker to around 100 pitches before he returns to the big-league club. … Reliever Luis Ortiz (left ankle strain) is still in Florida playing catch. His ankle is still sore. … Reliever Dylan Covey (right shoulder sprain) is also still playing catch.

Orion Kerkering has made five rehab outings and allowed only two hits and no earned runs and walks over 4? innings pitched with 10 strikeouts.

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When Caring About Others Is a Problem. When you care about what others think of you, your struggle is frequently related to the fear that they will either be uninterested in you or outright reject ...
I Know What You Think of Me
Like a lot of wisdom, this sounds at first suspiciously similar to idiotic nonsense; obviously what other people think of you is your business, it's your main job in life to try to control it, to do tireless P.R. and spin control for yourself. Every woman who ever went out with you must pine for you forever. Those who rejected you must regret it.
Why Do We Care What Others Think?
According to an article by Tom Ferry, CEO of YourCoach, the need for approval has been conditioned within us since birth. "Approval from others gives us a higher sense of self-esteem. We're ...
Why We Worry About What Other People Think of Us (And How to Stop)
There are two techniques that have alleviated my worry about what others think of me. The first is my breathwork practice, a powerful active meditation that gives me clarity, connection to my deeper self, and lightness of being. The second is mindfulness, the act of being conscious and nonjudgmental of my thoughts.
Caring What Other People Think
If someone thinks you are a criminal, you will have to take heed. If someone thinks you are a pedophile, or an embezzler, or a terrorist, there will likely be repercussions that you cannot ignore ...
Metaperceptions: How Do You See Yourself?
Hence we are left to rely on the accuracy of what psychologists call our "metaperceptions"—the ideas we have about others' ideas about us. The bottom line: It comes down to what you think about ...
How to Stop Caring What Other People Think of You
3. Stop judging others. "Judge not, that ye be not judged," Jesus taught. "Whoever judges others digs a pit for themselves," the Buddha said. Maybe you think you'll face God's ...
Tips to Soothe Your Worries of What Others Think of You
Mindfulness is all about staying in the present and being aware of and accepting how you feel in that moment. Learning to be in the moment can help you cope with those unwanted feelings and ...
How to Stop Worrying What Other People Think of You
5. Mind your own business. Stop asking people what they think of you. Stop worrying about their opinions--especially if they're critical, unsuccessful or unhappy. Most of the time, the negative ...
Seeing Yourself as Others See You
Seeing Yourself as Others See You. In our last blog, we argued that becoming a great boss required courage — in particular, the courage to find out how others see you. Almost certainly, we said ...
Do You Have Any Idea What Other People Think of You?
Here's a crazy statistic. My research shows that 95 percent of people think that they're self-aware. But the real figure is closer to 10 to 15 percent. I always joke that on a good day, 85 percent of us are lying to ourselves about whether we're lying to ourselves. That is distressing.
How Do You Think Others See You?
Loyalty, eyes, conversation, creativity, honesty, goofiness. They did not easily fit into the categories I envisioned. Different people value different things. It took me 30 years to learn this lesson, but it was a major step in expanding my empathy skills. Now I regularly try to view how other people might see the world, including how I fit ...
What Will Other People Think of Me?
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz. "I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but ...
Worrying About What Others Think? What to Know and What to Do
Think others say or feel negative things about you. Find it hard to voice your needs. Have difficulty even knowing what you want. I used to worry people would be mad at me if I didn't do what they wanted me to do. I'd make up stories about what others were thinking. I felt self-conscious and anxious in so many contexts.
Does It Matter What Others Think of You?
The impressions we make on others have an important impact on all life domains. They affect our relationships, our professional life, and our well-being in general. Being liked and accepted by others is a basic psychological need. In other words: being somewhat concerned about what others think of you is perfectly normal and it is even adaptive.
Your perception of me is a reflection of you; my reaction to you is an
Your perception of me is a Reflection of You; My Reaction to You is an Awareness of Me. "Swami Vivekananda said Awareness is a simple act of acknowledging the reality as it is.". Any person's perception is an assumption they make about other people on their own. A variety of elements influence how perception develops.
Why We Care About What Other People Think of Us
The ego-self is a false self, a façade scripted by the demands of our context as we perceive them. It is our self-image, our social mask, the role we are playing—and it thrives on approval ...
Essay on How Other People See Me
How I act when I am sad or happy can affect how others see me. If I laugh a lot, people might see me as happy. When I am quiet or have tears, they might understand I am sad or need help. Friends often think, "I can share my feelings with this person.". In the end, how others see me is a mix of my looks, actions, words, and feelings.
Bad College Essays: 10 Mistakes You Must Avoid
Unlike other teenagers, I'm not concerned about money, or partying, or what others think of me. Unlike other eighteen year-olds, I think about my future, and haven't become totally materialistic and acquisitive. This is a very broad generalization, which doesn't tend to be the best way to formulate an argument—or to start an essay.
What the World Has Learned From Past Eclipses
Eddington said as much in a letter to his mother: "The one good plate that I measured gave a result agreeing with Einstein," he wrote, "and I think I have got a little confirmation from a ...
Solar vs. lunar eclipse: The different types of eclipses, explained
The major difference between the solar eclipse and the lunar eclipse is the positioning of the sun, the moon and the earth, according to NASA.
Why Do Y'all Hate Caitlin Clark So Much?
No other college athlete in the past 25 years has transcended their sport like Clark has. Women's college basketball is at its peak in popularity right now and that's on the back of Clark.
In Photos: What Solar Eclipse-Gazing Has Looked Like Through History
Eclipse-gazers have used different methods to protect their eyes throughout the years, some safer than others. In 1927, women gathered at a window in a building in London to watch a total eclipse ...
Debunking solar eclipse myths, including dangerous radiation : Solar
Other myths — such as the idea that the moon turns black during an eclipse, or that the Earth's two poles don't see eclipses — are simply false, the agency says.
Protecting Our Planet: 5 Strategies for Reducing Plastic Waste
Still, reports of how much (or how little) of our plastic waste is actually recycled are alarming—with some estimates ranging from 10% to as low as 5%—so it is still best to opt for other alternatives whenever possible. 4. Get involved with local actions and clean-ups
8 Ways to Stop Worrying About What Other People Think
3. Let go of perfection. It can be hard to shake the feeling that if you just get things right, you will be loved and admired. But this is a fruitless pursuit, not only because perfection is an ...
9 facts about Americans and marijuana
Use of other drugs: 27% say this policy decreases the use of other drugs like heroin, fentanyl and cocaine, and 29% say it increases it. But the largest share (42%) say it has no effect on other drug use. Community safety: 21% say recreational legalization makes communities safer and 34% say it makes them less safe. Another 44% say it doesn't ...
'I think they're growing on me:' Phillies react to City ...
"I think they're growing on me," he said. "I think at first, when it first came out, I was like, 'Oh, I'm not a fan.' But I think once I kept seeing them, I thought they looked cool."