how to motivate kids to do homework

Ten Homework Motivation Strategies for Children and Teens

Use these 10 strategies to end the homework wars..

Posted September 6, 2015 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

When it comes to homework, parents get burnt out hearing these hollow and suspicious words: "I did it at school," "They didn't give homework today," "It hardly counts for my grade," "My teacher never looks at my homework anyway," "That assignment was optional." As parents, hearing these words is enough to drive you crazy.

As I write in my book, 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child , parents must not let their emotions get the best of them when their kids are not getting homework done. The strategies below are for helping your child or teen get unstuck:

• Nix the nagging! Pestering creates an adversarial, shaming dynamic that backfires. Instead, try my Calm, Firm, and Non-Controlling approach. Gently empower your child or teen by supportively saying, "I see that you are frustrated. Let's think of ways to help you get back on track with your homework/schoolwork."
• Encourage effort over perfection. Be mindful that kids tend to get intimidated when they have a hard time understanding material. They may get into negative self-talk like, "I can't do this." Even if they're truly thinking this way, parents may instead hear comments like, "I hate this." or "This is stupid." Remind your child or teen that doing his best effort is better than not doing it at all.
• Prioritize. Coach and encourage that the order that homework is done based on urgency, complexity, and workload. At the same time, realize that some students do better by starting with easier tasks and that this can help spark them to tackle more demanding assignments.
• Break it down. Reinforce breaking up homework time into manageable chunks and encourage taking regular breaks. Encourage moving around and walking away for a bit. Remind that an apple really does provide the same effect, and is healthier than an energy drink.
• Think "15 minutes of pain." Have the student set a timer for only 15 minutes. Keep it lighthearted and explain that even if it "hurts" doing the work, she can stop after 15 minutes. Like most things in life, once we push ourselves and get going, it's not so bad.
• Don't be consequence ravenous. Imposing consequences for homework not being done can backfire with defiant behavior. If you use consequences, don't present them with yelling. Keep them reasonable and ask the student to help you be able to move towards rewards (don't go overboard) and minimize consequences. Remember that real, natural consequences are the best motivators.
• Encourage connection. Encourage the student to make or re-establish a connection with his teacher. I have seen hundreds of kids "shoot themselves in the foot" with incomplete homework if they don't have a decent relationship with their teacher.
• Change up the homework/study surroundings. Try putting an inspirational poster by the desk, moving to a different room, or silencing the cell phone. New changes can create more changes.
• Use those study halls. Encourage the use of them as much as possible. Some kids lose sight of that more done at school, means less to do at home.
• Allow for some fun. Notice if your student is racing through the homework just to have fun. Fun time like, TV, phone time, or surfing the web, is welcome, but make sure you put limits on it.

Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D. , is a psychologist and the author of seven books, including 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child.

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Homework Help for Reluctant Children

• Posted October 15, 2018
• By Heather Miller

It’s hard to fault the child who resists doing homework. After all, she has already put in a long day at school, probably been involved in afterschool activities, and, as the late afternoon spills into evening, now faces a pile of assignments. Parents feel it, too — it’s no one’s favorite time of day.

But despite its bad rap, homework plays an important role in ensuring that students can execute tasks independently. When it’s thoughtfully assigned, homework provides deeper engagement with material introduced in class. And even when it’s “just” worksheets, homework can build the automatic habits and the basic skills required to tackle more interesting endeavors. Finally, homework is a nightly test of grit. Adult life brings its share of tasks that are both compulsory and unenjoyable. Developing the discipline to fulfill our responsibilities, regardless of whether they thrill us, begins in middle childhood.

So how to help the avoidant child embrace the challenge, rather than resist it?

The first step, especially with kids 13 and under, is to have them do their homework at a communal space, like a dining room or kitchen table. If other children are in the home, they can all do their homework at the same table, and the parent can sit nearby to support the work effort. This alleviates some of the loneliness a reluctant child might associate with assignments. The alternative — doing homework at a bedroom desk — can result in the child guiltily avoiding the work for as long as possible. Like all forms of procrastination, this has the effect of making the entire process take much longer than it needs to.  

When parents turn the homework ritual into a series of conversations about what needs to be done, how, and for how long, children feel less “alone” with their nightly work, they relish the company and support of their parent, and they work better and more efficiently.

Many parents are under the impression that they shouldn’t have anything to do with their children's homework. This comes from schools emphasizing that homework is a child's responsibility, not the parents'. While it is absolutely true that parents should not do their children's homework, there is a role for parents — one that's perhaps best described as “homework project manager.” Parents can be monitoring, organizing, motivating, and praising the homework effort as it gets done. And yes, that means sitting with your child to help them stay focused and on task. Your presence sends the message that homework is important business, not to be taken lightly.

Once you’re sitting down with your child, ask him to unload his school bag and talk you through his various assignments. Maybe he has a school planner with all his homework listed, or a printout from school, or perhaps his work is listed on the classroom website. Many children attend an afterschool program where, in theory, they are doing homework. They’ll often claim that they’ve done all their homework, even though they’ve only done some. Together, make a quick and easy “Done/To Do” list. Writing down what she has finished will give her a sense of satisfaction. Identifying what she still needs to do will help her to focus on the remaining assignments. Over time, this practice will help your child build an understanding that large tasks are completed incrementally.

Next, ask your child to put the assignments in the order he’d like to do them. Encourage him to explain his thinking. Doing this helps a child feel in control of the evening’s tasks and prompts him to reflect on his work style. Discuss the first task of the night together. Ask your child to think about the supplies he is likely to need, and ensure they’re at the ready. This “pre-work” work helps a child think through a task, understand it, and prepare to execute it with gusto.

Last but not least, introduce a timer to the evening’s proceedings. Challenge your child to estimate how long the first assignment will take. Then ask, “Do you want me to set the timer for the full amount of time you think you’ll need, or a smaller amount?” Then, set the timer with the understanding that the child must work without interruption until the timer goes off. Even questions are verboten while the timer runs. The goal here is to enable the child to solve problems independently, through concentration. This not only builds concentration powers, it builds creativity, critical thinking, resilience, and resourcefulness. In my experience, the theatricality of being timed helps relax children who would otherwise feel daunted by a mountain of homework.

As each piece of work gets done, parents can add meaningful positive reinforcement. Exclaiming, “Another assignment done! And done well!” helps your child feel like what they are doing matters.

By turning the homework ritual into a series of conversations about what needs to be done, how, and for how long, children feel less “alone” with their nightly work, they relish the company and support of their parent, and they complete the work much more efficiently and at a higher standard than they might otherwise.

Helping the Homework Resisters

• Have children do their work at a communal table. Stay nearby, to alleviate the loneliness that some kids feel — and to prevent procrastination.
• Ask your child to unload her backpack and talk through assignments.
• Help your child make a "Done/To Do" list.
• Ask your child to put the assignments in the order he’d like to do them. Encourage him to explain his thinking — fostering a sense of control.
• Use a timer. Challenge your child to estimate how long an assignment will take, and ask if she wants to set the timer for that full amount of time, or less. 
• Your role: To monitor, organize, motivate, and praise the homework effort as each piece is done. 

Additional Resource

• More about Heather Miller's work to help parents create healthy routines on weeknights

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How to help your child get motivated in school.

Strategies you can use to help kids work up to their potential

Writer: Danielle Cohen

Clinical Experts: Laura Phillips, PsyD, ABPdN , Ken Schuster, PsyD , Kristin Carothers, PhD

What You'll Learn

• Why do some kids have trouble getting motivated in school?
• How can parents help their children try harder in school?

It’s common for kids to lack motivation in school. Sometimes, this happens because the child has ADHD, anxiety, social challenges, or a learning disability. But other times, kids without a diagnosable problem still have trouble living up to their potential in school. Here are a few ways that parents can encourage kids to put in more effort at school.

Start by showing kids that you care about their schoolwork. Check in with them about how classes are going. Let them know that you’re there if they need homework help. Ask what they’re learning and what they like (and don’t like) about the assignments. With older kids, be sure to give them space, too. If they sense that you’re pressuring them, they might end up feeling resentful and less motivated.

Using positive reinforcement helps. You don’t need to give kids big rewards, but even small ones like a high five or a few extra minutes of screen time can make a difference. It’s also important to praise effort, not results. For example, praise your child for finishing a tough assignment or taking a class that might be hard. Nobody gets top grades all the time, so make sure your child knows you don’t expect perfection.

You can also bring in reinforcements if schoolwork is becoming a source of conflict for you and your child. You could hire an older student at your child’s school or a nearby college to help monitor homework and ease stress on the family. Talking to your child’s teacher can also give you insight into their behavior and help you work as a team to encourage them.

Finally, be sure to keep tabs on your own feelings. If you’re getting very frustrated or angry about your child’s school performance, a therapist or support group can help.

If you have a child who is struggling in school and doesn’t seem to be motivated to make an effort, the first thing you want to do is explore whether there is some obstacle getting in his way. Learning issues , social challenges, attention or emotional problems can all cause kids to disengage academically.

But not all kids who are underperforming in school—clearly not living up to their potential—have a diagnosable problem . And there are a number of things parents can do to help motivate kids to try harder.

Get involved

As a parent, your presence in the academic life of your child is crucial to their commitment to work. Do homework with them, and let them know that you’re available to answer questions. Get in the habit of asking them about what they learned in school, and generally engage them academically. By demonstrating your interest in your child’s school life, you’re showing them school can be exciting and interesting. This is especially effective with young kids who tend to be excited about whatever you’re excited about. Teenagers can bristle if they feel you are asking too many questions, so make sure you are sharing the details of your day, too. A conversation is always better than an interrogation.

Likewise, it’s important to stay involved but give older kids a little more space. If you’re on top of your kid all the time about homework, they may develop resistance and be less motivated to work—not to mention the strain it will put on your relationship.

Use reinforcement

Many parents are nervous about rewarding kids for good work , and it’s true that tangible rewards can turn into a slippery slope. But there are ways to use extrinsic motivation that will eventually be internalized by your kid. “Kids respond really well to social reinforcers like praises, hugs, high fives, and those kinds of things,” says Laura Phillips , PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute. “Then they start to achieve because it feels good for them.”

Ken Schuster , PsyD, a neuropsychologist at the Child Mind Institute, encourages parents to use rewarding activities that would have probably occurred either way but placing them after a set amount of time doing homework. He suggests treats that are easy to provide but that your child will enjoy, such as going for ice cream or sharing a candy bar. He also recommends breaking work up into chunks and using small breaks as rewards for getting through each chunk.

Reward effort rather than outcome

The message you want to send is that your respect hard work. Praising kids for following through when things get difficult, for making a sustained effort, and for trying things they’re not sure they can do successfully can all help teach them the pleasure of pushing themselves. Praise for good grades that come easily can make kids feel they shouldn’t have to exert themselves.

Help them see the big picture

For older kids who have developed an understanding of delayed gratification, sometimes simple reminders of their long-term goals can help push them. It can help many high school seniors who slack off after getting into college to remind them that they could lose their acceptance if their grades drop too much, or they might not be prepared for college courses. “Linking school up with their long-term goals can make the work feel more personally fulfilling,” explains Dr. Phillips.

Let them make mistakes

No one can get A’s on every test or perfect score on every assignment. While kids need encouragement, and it’s healthy to push them to try their best, know that setbacks are natural . Sometimes the only way kids learn how to properly prepare for school is by finding out what happens when they’re unprepared.

Get outside help

One way to take a little tension away from your relationship with your child is to find an older student (either at their school or a nearby college) to help them out with work. Most will charge pretty low rates, and the fact that they’re closer to your kid’s age may make it more likely they’ll listen to what they say.

“Homework was a source of conflict for us,” says Elizabeth, whose son Alex has ADHD . Elizabeth hired a few Barnard students to help Alex do his homework on certain nights, she recalls. “He behaved a lot better with them, and it was money well spent for me because I wasn’t fighting, and I wasn’t stressed out.”

Make the teacher your ally

Another one of the most important things you can do for your child is to work with their teacher. The teacher might have additional insight about how to motivate your child or what they might be struggling with. Likewise, you can share any strategies or information that you have.

When her son was in lower school and only had one teacher, Elizabeth would call his teacher before the first day, introducing herself and alerting the teacher that her son had ADHD and that he found it hard to focus. She would give the teacher little tips that she had found were useful with Alex: Writing multi-step directions on the board, tapping him on the shoulder while walking past to make sure he was paying attention and other small tweaks that would be useful to any young child but are especially essential to one with ADHD.

“Make sure that both school and home are of one accord,” stresses Kristin Carothers, PhD, a clinical psychologist. Dr. Carothers often sets up a system she calls the daily report card. With this system, the child gets points from their teacher for things like completing work and following directions the first time they get them. Then they bring those points home, where their parents give them small rewards, such as extra time on the iPad or playing a game together.

Get support for yourself

It can be just as frustrating to watch your child withdraw from school as it can be difficult for the kid themself to focus. Elizabeth says that she often feels judged as a parent for having a son who struggles so much in school.

Some schools have support groups for parents of kids who are less motivated, and if your child’s school doesn’t, Elizabeth encourages setting one up. “It’s very comforting to hear that you’re not alone,” she says. “It’s also helpful to hear people who have gone ahead of you talk about how to navigate the school’s system, find a therapist, and talk to teachers.”

“If you’re feeling yourself getting really angry or frustrated with your kids, take a step back,” Dr. Carothers recommends. “Put things into context.”

It’s also important to keep your goals in perspective: Your child may not become a star student. Make sure to focus on the effort they put in and the commitment they show instead of the outcome. If you expect perfect achievement from a child who struggles in school, you’ll drive yourself crazy.

“I’m not trying to get my child to be someone he’s not,” Elizabeth says about her efforts to help her son. “I just want him to reach his potential.”

Frequently Asked Questions

You can motivate your child to do homework by letting them know you’re available to answer any questions they might have and that you see how hard they’re working. You can also reward them with small treats, like going out for ice cream, after they finish a certain amount of homework.

To motivate a child to do well in school, use positive reinforcement such as hugs and high fives, reward their effort rather than specific outcomes, and help them make the connection between current effort and achieving long-term goals such as getting into college.

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How to Motivate Kids to Practice Hard Things

According to a recent survey by the Society of Human Resource Management, 97 percent of employers say that reliability is a very or extremely important qualification for an entry-level job; it’s at the top of nearly everyone’s list. How do parents help their kids learn to be reliable—people whom others can trust to consistently do their best work?

One place to start is to teach kids the importance of practice. Kids practice to reach all kinds of goals—writing their names, dribbling a basketball, playing a song on the guitar. But they aren’t always motivated to practice, and they don’t always practice in the right way.

A highly effective and well-researched technique called deliberate practice allows you to repeatedly work on a mental or physical skill with the aim of getting better in the future. Research suggests that children as young as five can start to understand deliberate practice, and children and adolescents who engage in it make gains in school achievement and motor skills .

By encouraging them to engage in deliberate practice as they get older, we can help our kids achieve their goals.

What is deliberate practice?

According to researcher Lauren Eskreis-Winkler and her colleagues , shallow practice is how most people study—they practice what they already know while they are only partly focused, which is not particularly effective. In contrast, they explain, deliberate practice has four principles:

• Working on weaknesses: Rather than doing things that you already do well, deliberate practice focuses on the things that are hard for you. For example, you might replay the part of your trumpet solo with the hard high notes that you’ve been having trouble with, rather than the parts that you know well.
• Full concentration: Deliberate practice is difficult when you face distractions that make it hard to stay on task, like noise, social media, or people nearby. Instead of writing an essay with your phone beside you while hanging out with your friends, you might go to a quiet library and tuck your phone in your backpack.
• Feedback: Deliberate practice involves finding out what you got right and where you made mistakes by asking a teacher or coach or checking your work. For example, if you made mistakes on your long-division homework, you might review your work again and talk to your teacher about how you can solve those problems correctly in the future.
• Repetition until mastery: Deliberate practice requires you to keep working on your weaknesses, stay on task, and get feedback until you master your specific goal.

How to motivate kids toward deliberate practice

How do you motivate kids to engage in deliberate practice, which tends to be more demanding than shallow practice?

In multiple experiments, Eskreis-Winkler and her colleagues studied American middle schoolers between fifth and seventh grade, as well as college undergraduates. They randomly assigned adolescents from multiple schools to two groups: One group learned typical study skills, and the other group learned the difference between shallow practice and deliberate practice using animated videos, prompts for reflection, and short writing activities.

In some of the videos, people shared their experiences with how hard deliberate practice is and some tips on how to handle the challenge:

• Expect and be OK with failure: Famous people talked about how failure is a normal part of learning. They described having failed many times before they became successful and framed mistakes as a necessary part of deliberate practice that led them to their achievements.
• Tolerate feeling frustrated and confused: A student told his life story, from growing up poor and having trouble learning in elementary school to graduating from MIT. He shared that you make a lot of mistakes as you work on your weaknesses, which can be frustrating and confusing, but it means you’re in the “stretch zone.” Rather than thinking it’s a bad sign and time to give up, this is actually the time to keep going. People can learn to tolerate their frustration more and more with practice.
• Question your beliefs about talent: An actor, an athlete, and a musician talked about how practice led them to be successful in their different life goals—and none of them mentioned talent. People mistakenly think that talent is the most important factor because they don’t see all the hours of practice that go into people’s final performances—like an actor taking days to memorize lines, a swimmer waking up at dawn for months to practice the butterfly stroke, or a novelist writing for years to complete a manuscript.


 To solidify this lesson, the researchers showed adolescents anonymous quotes from other students that described their practice habits and preferences. For example, one quote said, “I thought the kids who were good at fractions were just smarter than me. But in the past couple of months, I realized that by doing deep practice, I could get just as many fraction problems right as they could. When I work hard and do deep practice on my fractions homework, I come to class being able to answer just as many problems as the other kids.”

Finally, the researchers asked the adolescents to write a short letter to other students who didn’t know about deliberate practice to communicate the significance of what they had learned. (The researchers explain that “one of the most effective ways to persuade a participant of a message is to have the participant advocate the message to others.” Research shows that this “saying-is-believing” effect influences their later memory and impression of the topic.)


The researchers found that these brief lessons motivated adolescents to engage in deliberate practice on math problems and improved their achievement in math, course grades, and GPA after one academic quarter.

If you want your kids to tap into these benefits, tell and show them how much you practice to work on goals, how you experience failure on an everyday basis, and how you tolerate frustration and confusion. Remind your kids about how their favorite soccer players or swimmers work with their coaches to get feedback. Encourage your children to talk to their siblings, cousins, or friends about how they use deliberate practice to prepare for their tap dance performance so that they can reap the benefits of the “saying-is-believing” effect.

“When I work hard and do deep practice on my fractions homework, I come to class being able to answer just as many problems as the other kids.”

Besides helping kids cope with how hard deliberate practice feels in the present, another way to motivate them is to encourage good feelings about their desired future—according to a study on how deliberate practice develops in children.

Melissa Brinums and her colleagues studied 120 Australian four to seven year olds. First, the researchers showed the children three games that they could play: golf, ring toss, or cup-and-ball. Then, they were told that they would later be tested on a target game (say, golf) and could win one sticker each time they scored.

The researchers randomly assigned the children to two groups. Before leaving the room for a few minutes, they told one group, “If you like, you can use this time to prepare for the test.” They told the other group, “If you like, you can use this time to play with any of the games.” When they returned, they asked the children which game they played the most, why, and what they could do to get better at the games.

The researchers measured how much deliberate practice children engaged in based on which game they chose to play first and how long they played the target game. They also used the children’s replies to their questions to gauge their understanding of practice. The kids earned a higher score if they talked about practicing, improving, or being persistent than if they talked about fun or luck or couldn’t answer the questions.

The results? Six and seven year olds both understood deliberate practice and engaged in it without being cued. Five year olds showed some understanding and sometimes deliberately practiced. Four year olds did not understand deliberate practice yet.

“These increases in understanding of and engagement in deliberate practice may be due to age-related improvements in cognitive capacities,” explain Brinums and her colleagues. Episodic foresight—the capacity to imagine the future and act accordingly—begins to develop in the preschool years and improves throughout childhood. Episodic foresight allows us to predict how the future might make us feel . Compared to the younger children, the older children were likely more motivated to practice because they were better able to envision being tested and feeling happy about earning stickers for scoring in the game.

Although preschoolers may not be able to forecast the future yet, parents can encourage their school-age kids—who aren’t eager to practice piano, for example—to imagine how being well-prepared will make them feel during an upcoming recital.

Ultimately, parents can support kids as they learn to value practice, whether it’s in school, at their first summer job, or within their family and community. Deliberate practice may not guarantee them a gold medal at the Olympics, but it can improve their performance so they do their personal best. And that will help them grow up to be someone others can depend on.

About the Author

Maryam Abdullah

Uc berkeley.

Maryam Abdullah, Ph.D., is the Parenting Program Director of the Greater Good Science Center. She is a developmental psychologist with expertise in parent-child relationships and children’s development of prosocial behaviors.

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The Homework Struggle: How to Encourage Kids to Do Homework

• September 21, 2017

Most parents have been there—the nightly homework struggle.

Students rarely look forward to completing their homework assignments after the last school bell has rung for the day. However, homework is part of being a student—and one that has an impact on future academic performance. This makes it important to figure out how to encourage kids to do their homework without a nightly quarrel.

The Importance of Homework

Homework supplements the education that children are getting in the classroom. Its role is to increase comprehension and give students the chance to study, practice, and understand the material. This type of “outside-the-classroom” thinking can help increase the development of positive study habits, improve cognition and memory, and encourage time management.

So, why the resistance?

Students often have trouble seeing the value in homework. After all, they just spent an entire day in school, so why should they sacrifice their valuable free time to do more work? Other factors, from attention and motivation issues to poor time management and organizational skills can also lead to students having trouble completing their homework.

How to motivate kids to do homework

Students who don’t do their homework or continually battle with their parents about it often experience higher levels of stress. This stress can lead to a lack of motivation both inside and outside of the classroom, causing them to fall behind. It’s important for parents to take an active role in making sure students complete their homework so their performance doesn’t suffer.

How can you make homework time a smoother process? Rather than making your child do homework, focus on how you can make homework more a more enjoyable experience for your child. Don’t worry—it’s easier than it sounds!

Follow these tips on how encourage good homework habits in your child.

Create structure

Creating a schedule your child can follow makes it easier to get him or her to sit down and complete homework assignments. Set a time and create a special study space for homework to be completed, making it part of the child’s nightly routine.

Give kids a break after school

Don’t force your child to do homework as soon as he or she gets home. Let him or her have some time after school to give his or her mind a break before starting homework. This break can help improve motivation and focus when it is time for your child to do his or her homework.

Provide motivation

Show encouragement and appreciation of your child’s hard work when he or she has completed his or her homework. Something as small as a high five or words of praise can boost your child’s motivation. You can also offer small rewards, like a trip to the store or a special treat.

Lead by example

While you child does his or her homework, don’t engage in other preferred activities, such as watching TV. Read a book, do some research, or scratch a chore off your to-do list.

Talk about the benefits

Rather than yelling, have a calm discussion with your child about why homework is important. Fighting with your child will increase stress and frustration, leaving him or her unable and unwilling to focus on homework.

No More Homework Arguments!

By encouraging—rather than forcing—your child to complete his or her homework, you can help your child become a more organized, proactive student. This will save you a lot of arguments down the line, letting your child use his or her energy to reach his or her potential rather than avoiding homework.

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This article was co-authored by Klare Heston, LCSW and by wikiHow staff writer, Sophia Latorre . Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR). This article has been viewed 465,779 times.

Parents around the world would love the magic formula to encourage kids to do their homework. Alas, it's not as simple as waving a wand, but there are some methods for encouraging your kids to develop and stick to a regular homework routine. For some parents, effective encouragement will also be about changing your own approach to homework enforcement. Don't worry, it's not hard, it's just about taking a moment to work it through. Create a homework space and schedule, establish clear expectations, rewards, and consequences, and approach homework positively.

Creating a Homework Space and Schedule

• For example, if your kids do their homework at the dinner table, unpack the box to give them access to their supplies when it’s time to do homework. Pack up the box and move it off the table when they’re finished.

• Allow your kids to have a say in creating the schedule. If they feel like their opinions have been heard and considered, they’re more likely to stick to the plan.
• Agree on homework-free times, such as Friday nights or one weekend day, and allow them to plan how they use this free time.

Establishing Expectations, Rewards, and Consequences

• Occasional rewards for a special project done really well can be a great boost but regular material rewards are best avoided.
• When your child does their homework, tell them that you are really proud of them for being organized, timely, proactive, etc. It is important to define the exact reason why you are proud so that they know what to keep up.

• Keep your message simple, reminding your kids what you have agreed upon together when discussing how they'd approach homework and expressing both disappointment and a hope to see things return to normal the next day.

• For example, if your child forgets their homework or books at school, don’t spend hours tracking down a maintenance worker to let you into the building so you can retrieve their forgotten items. If they can find a way to get them, great, and if not, they’ll have to suffer the consequences.

• Naturally, if you have a child with learning or other disabilities, you may need to adjust this hands-off approach. Don't be afraid to seek support from professional people skilled in your child's particular disability; they may be able to provide you with additional strategies.

Approaching Homework Positively

• You should still keep a positive attitude toward homework. Don’t agree with your kid when they say, “Homework sucks. I wish I didn’t have to do it.” Instead, reply with something like, “I’m sorry you feel that way, but once you finish your homework you can invite a friend over.”

• For example, if your child wants to be a marine biologist, tell them that they’ll need good grades in school to get into a college where they can earn a degree in biology, zoology, or ecology.
• For example, tell your would-be actor that they won’t be able to memorize their lines if they’re not a stellar reader. Encourage them to read and memorize parts of their textbook for practice.

Altering Your Own Involvement

Expert Q&A

• When the teacher asks that you have a part in your child's homework, do it! Working with your child's teacher will show your child that authority figures at school and home or on the same team. Thanks Helpful 1 Not Helpful 0
• Encourage professional presentation and neatness. If they're producing messy homework, try to catch them in the process and encourage a neater effort. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Keep up to date with your child's school life. Talk with their teacher regularly to ensure you know the purpose of your child's assignments and understand the rules in class. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://sparksofgenius.wordpress.com/2007/05/14/train-your-kids-to-do-homework-without-arguing/
• ↑ http://sparksofgenius.wordpress.com/2007/05/14/train-your-kids-to-do-homework-without-arguing/
• ↑ https://fosteringperspectives.org/fp_vol1no1/articles_vol1no1/ignoring_effective_way.htm
• ↑ https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-homework-battle-how-to-get-children-to-do-homework/
• ↑ https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/08/100819173846.htm
• ↑ http://www2.ed.gov/parents/academic/involve/homework/part_pg2.html#2

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Intrinsic & extrinsic motivation: how to best encourage your kids.

Most parents know that getting kids to do things on their own—be it homework, chores, or helping around the house—might be a struggle. You might even be asking yourself, Ugh, how do I motivate them to do anything? on a regular basis. This constant battle is no fun for anyone. 

So, finding a way to authentically motivate kids becomes paramount. However, "Motivation is complicated and has many influences," Aliza Pressman, Ph.D. , co-founding director and director of clinical programming for the Mount Sinai Parenting Center tells us. And it turns out that there are technically two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic.

What do these mean, how can they help kids get the job done, and is there a style that's more effective? Well, we spoke to an expert to find out.

What is extrinsic motivation?

Extrinsic motivation is being encouraged to do something because of outside (extrinsic) forces. Said motivation could be positive or negative, meaning they can be encouraged to do something to receive a benefit or praise or discouraged to do something out of fear of consequences. 

Examples of extrinsic motivation: 

• Playing a sport in order to win a prize.
• Finishing schoolwork to be able to watch TV. 
• Helping around the house so they can go play with friends. 

Why you use extrinsic motivation.

Of course, there are valid reasons that you may encourage kids by dangling a prize in front of them—and, of course, actions have consequences, so often you may need to discipline them when they misbehave. Not to mention, rewards can offer a signal to your kid that they did a good job and you are proud of them, which is a good thing, no? 

"When you do not care if the child internalizes the motivation for doing something, for example, you just really want them to go to bed and stay in bed because you are so tired! You can set up a rewards system if you are OK that they aren't going to care about actually doing something," says Pressman. "Also if there is no concern that in the long run, they will be stuck needing extrinsic rewards in order to do something."

The problems with extrinsic motivation. 

However, the problem comes up when the motivation ends there. Kids, and people in general, can only operate so well if their validation comes solely from the outside. This, too, is backed up by research: In one study, toddlers were given rewards after playing with a toy—a toy they previously expressed interest in. After they were given said reward, they became less interested in the toy that they were previously interested in.

Not only that, but if you continually offer external rewards for positive behavior, you may be sending the wrong signal to your kids as they grow up: that good behavior always gets you an award—and that's simply not the way life works. This is why experts encourage you to help build intrinsic motivation when you can. 

What is intrinsic motivation?

Intrinsic motivation is what happens when kids act accordingly because it feels rewarding to do so. You are doing something because you want to do it, not because you're being forced to or because you are craving praise. "Intrinsic motivation means that for reasons inside of you, you are motivated to do or learn something," says Pressman. "When someone has the internal drive to do something, they feel better and have more agency over their life."

Examples of intrinsic motivation:

• Practicing at a sport diligently because they enjoy the activity and they feel happy when they get better. 
• Completing homework on time because it makes them feel proud when they complete their tasks. 
• Understanding that housework helps other members of the family, and so they make sure to get their chores done. 

How to develop intrinsic motivation.

So the problem is it's challenging to develop intrinsic motivation. Few people naturally enjoy tidying up, no? So how can you get kids to feel internal validation when said task isn't always appealing?

"Motivation comes from a set of neurochemical networks that develop over time, as a result of the experiences we have," says Pressman, noting that you can develop motivation through these experiences. "The best way to sustain motivation is to support internal drivers with the right kind of external feedback: not a lot of it, focused on process, and remember that if a child is fully internally motivated, don't interrupt it much with your external commentary or they might lose sight of their internal drive."

Her tips for developing internal motivation in kids: 

• Help them choose achievable goals and challenge children just enough.
• Focus the planning process, encourage kids to identify something specific that they want to accomplish. Most important is that the goals are meaningful to your child and not established by others. 
• Remind kids to periodically monitor their behavior and consider whether they are doing the things they planned and whether these plans are achieving the goals they identified.
• Give children agency —if they are capable of doing something themselves, let them. If they are almost capable, help them a little.
• Give incentives/rewards only when necessary to start a new habit that is hard to motivate internally and that you aren't concerned will have long-term implications.
• Praise process, not outcome: You want kids to be motivated for working hard and sticking with it, not for getting to the end goal.
• Maintain a close connection , particularly with adolescents.
• Pay attention to language—when you or a child say, "I'm not good at xyz" shift it to "I'm not good at this yet." Be open to the possibility that practice makes you smarter.
• Monitor your own behavior: Think about how you fail in front of your kids. (We know all about being a role model for success, but what about being a good *failure* role model?) 

The takeaway.

Encouraging kids to develop intrinsic motivation will ultimately help them in the long run find joy, value, and reward in their tasks. Of course, there is a time and place for extrinsic motivation, but it shouldn't be used as your sole incentive.

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7 Creative Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Do Their Homework

It's hard to get kids excited about things they don't want to do, like going to sleep, eating their veggies, and, yes, doing their homework . While some children are natural overachievers who enjoy school and relish in homework time, many children will rebel. And usually, once your child has it in their mind that they don't want to do something, it can be difficult to convince them otherwise. To help with this, we've come up with seven creative solutions to help get them excited about doing their homework (and doing it well!).

1. Make a Colorful Workstation

Any adult who has a desk knows that having a colorful, inspiring workspace can really help you with creativity and productivity. The same can be said for a child's workstation! Whether they have their own desk in their room or have a workspace in a common area of your home, decorate it with things they are inspired by (colored pencils, a fun eraser, etc.) so that homework time is more fun.

2. Give Them a Reward

Rewarding your child for doing their homework can be a little controversial, but when done right, it's very effective. Some parents choose to reward their children with food or toys, but the reward can even be as simple as an hour of TV time or a creative, fun activity. Whatever your child's natural instincts, abilities, and interests, choose a reward that will motivate them to finish their homework.

3. Praise Your Child

Rewards don't necessarily have to be tangible objects. If you're uncomfortable with physical rewards, consider using praise as a reward. Children are often concerned with pleasing their parents, so if you establish that completing homework results in praise, they may be more willing to do their homework on a regular basis.

4. Establish a Homework Routine

Most children work better when a routine is established, so consider setting aside a certain time for homework every day after school. You can also let them have an hour or so after they get home to watch TV or have a snack first.

5. Let Your Child Decide When Homework Time Is

It can be hard to make children do something they don't want to do, so letting them have some level of agency and choice when it comes to their homework can really help motivate them. Instead of telling them when homework time is, sit them down and let them choose what works best for them. Maybe your child prefers to do their homework immediately when they get home from school, whereas some children need a break beforehand.

6. Encourage Using Technology

There are likely many ways your child uses an iPad or computer that are not homework-related, but instead of telling them to put down their devices during homework time, see if there are ways they can use technology to help them. The internet can be a powerful tool for studying and research, and there are lots of apps available that can help your child with spelling, math, and other subjects.

7. Make Homework Their Responsibility

Homework is a great way to teach your children responsibility . Ultimately, the only person who is impacted by whether or not they complete their homework is your child. Make sure they understand the implications of not doing their homework and, if necessary, let them find out the hard way. Making homework your child's responsibility will help them to see the direct results of their actions.

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Nudge, Don’t Nag: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Child to Do Well

Nine ways to get your child with adhd to the starting line — and to finally cross over the finish line of assignments, goals, and day-to-day tasks..

“She could do it if she only tried” or “He’s just lazy.” How often have you heard people say this about your child, or thought it yourself? Your child seems capable, yet getting him to do assignments or homework is like having to move mountains.

Attention deficit disorder ( ADHD or ADD ) has been called a disorder of motivation . Some experts believe that ADHD affects motivation more than attention.

The reason children and teens with ADHD have difficulty getting started and completing tasks is neurologically based. ADHD usually involves executive function deficits — not being able to organize one’s thoughts or getting started, for example. In addition, those with ADHD have lower dopamine levels than their neurotypical peers. Dopamine allows us to regulate emotional responses and take action to achieve specific rewards. It’s responsible for feelings of pleasure and reward. With ADHD , dopamine is not transmitted efficiently, so a child doesn’t have the motivation to complete tasks.

What can you as a parent do to motivate your child to start assignments, finish homework, and just get stuff done? Here are some simple solutions that have worked for me, as a mom and a teacher:

• Monitor your child’s medication. Medication for ADHD improves neurotransmitter function. Check in with your child’s doctor to be sure the dosage is optimal. Also make sure that the medication is active during times when she needs it for homework and other schoolwork.
• Elevate your child to a decision-maker. We are less motivated when someone else tells us what to do. No one likes to be nagged to start a chore or an assignment. Giving your child a sense of control will encourage him to start and finish a task. Ask your child how long she thinks a task will take, and have her compare the actual time with her prediction. Encourage her to come up with solutions for getting started sooner.

[ Free Webinar Replay: Tips and Tools to Help Your Child Start — and Finish — Homework ]

• Set goals. Research shows that setting goals makes it more likely that they will be achieved. Have your child create a “vision board” at the beginning of the school year. She can cut out pictures from magazines or print photos from websites, and make a collage showing where she wants to go and what she wants to be at the end of that grade or beyond. Ask her to write down one specific observable goal that relates to that vision. The goal should be time-limited—like read 10 pages in a book in one week. Agree on a time for her to report on her progress, so you don’t have to nag her.
• Use “if… then.” There are two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. We all want our children with ADHD to do something because they are interested in doing it, not just to earn a reward. But until they internalize the pleasure of accomplishment, students with ADHD may get more done with external motivation — namely, rewards. Research has shown that giving material rewards works best with short-term activities, not long-term achievements. Instead of rewarding your child for a good report card, reward him for completing assignments due the next day.
• Make it into a game. Have your child choose his favorite tune, and ask him to practice all of his spelling words before the tune is over.
• Connect uninteresting activities to areas of interest. When my son was in third grade, his teacher told me, “He’s just not interested in learning!” I had observed him since birth and knew that the little boy who tamed butterflies was curious and loved to learn. The subject needed to be interesting to him. If your child is interested in baseball, relate math to sports activities, such as calculating a batting average. If he likes cooking, show him how to use fractions to measure ingredients for a favorite recipe.

[ Free Resource: Transform Your Teen’s Apathy Into Engagement ]

• Keep him moving. Allow your child to stand while working. Punctuate school assignments or other quiet tasks with short movement activities, such as yoga poses or “musical chairs.”
• Be realistic. When your child experiences success, he will want to repeat that experience. Determine how much your child can complete in a given time, and ask him to take that on. When my son was a young teen, I had a list of chores for him to complete that never seemed to get done. I nagged him. Finally, I took a close look at what he could realistically get done. We talked things over and he chose one chore he was willing to do — the laundry. Apparently, that held more intrinsic interest to him than taking out the garbage. Once we determined how often the laundry needed to be done, he took charge. I still had to wash the dishes and take out the trash, but he finally experienced a sense of accomplishment from doing his own laundry, and that translated into future success in school.
• Praise effort over ability. Studies show that students do best when they believe that improvement is due to putting in lots of effort rather than to fixed intelligence or innate ability. When a parent praises a child for doing a task, she is underscoring a child’s control over the task.

SHARI GENT, M.S., NCED, works at Mind Matters Educational Therapy and is an educational therapist in private practice in Fremont, California. You can reach Shari here.

[ How to Motivate (Not De-Moralize) a Student with ADHD ]

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Homework tips for supporting children in primary school

Homework can be a sticking point for busy families.

After experts questioned its relevance for primary schoolers, many of you weighed in on Facebook, disagreeing on how much, if any, homework is the right amount for this age group. 

So, what is beneficial? And what are some strategies to help make it a less stressful part of the day for both parents and kids?

What's the value in homework?

Grattan Institute deputy program director Amy Haywood says there is value in homework — particularly set reading — for primary school-aged kids.

Ms Haywood, based in Naarm/Melbourne, says time spent reading independently or with an adult "is a really good use of time because it builds up the vocabulary".

In addition to reading, other key skills such as maths can be a focus.

"In classes is where they're doing a lot of the learning of new content or skills, and then outside the school might be opportunity to practise."

She says there's "clear evidence around practice leading to mastery, and then the mastery having an impact on students' engagement in school, [and] their confidence with taking on different learning tasks".

There's also a case for homework in later primary years as you might want them to build some of those study habits before they go into secondary school.

But, she says "schools need to be careful about what homework they are setting".

Communicate with the school

Ms Haywood encourages parents to speak to teachers if they have concerns about set homework.

"[Teachers] may not necessarily realise that a student is spending a lot of time or needing quite a bit of help.

"That new information is very useful for a teacher because it means that they can go back and understand what they might need to reteach and any misconceptions that they need to go over."

Find the best time for your family

Parenting expert and family counsellor Rachel Schofield says finding the best time for homework in your family's routine is important.

Based in New South Wales' Bega Valley, on traditional lands of the Yuin-Monaro Nations, she says for some families fitting it into the morning routine is easier.

It's also about when parents and caregivers are in "the best shape" to help, "because if you've got a kid that's battling homework, you're going to have to be in emotionally good shape".

"If you're really stressed at the end of the day, then that's probably not the best time."

Ms Schofield says "parents have incredibly busy lives" but if you can carve out the time "homework can become a place where you actually get to slow down and stop".

She says children below the age of 10 need a lot a supervision and shouldn't be expected to do homework independently.

Why homework straight after school might not work 

Ms Schofield says kids "need decompression time after school".

She says there's an understandable tendency among busy parents to get homework out of the way as soon as possible, but this could be working against them.

Snacks, play and time to offload are usually what primary-aged kids need, Ms Schofield says.

Some time to play and connect with a parent after school can be "really helpful".

Even 10 minutes "can make the whole trajectory of the evening go differently", she says.

Ms Schofield says kids can come home with "a lot of emotional stuff" and rough-and-tumble-play can be a good way to spend time with them and help them decompress after school.

Ms Schofield says you can also try and engage with your child 'playfully' if they are refusing to do homework.

It's tempting to be stern and serious in response, but she says treating it more "goofily" by poorly attempting to complete it yourself or asking your child for help with a task might get a better result.

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How to Motivate your Child to do Homework: 5 Simple Ideas that work

For a lot of parents, the scariest thing would probably be their beloved school going child coming to their room with a bunch of undone home work sheets the night before their submission date. The second most scary thing would possibly be a ghost or something. After all, what could cause an adrenaline rush better? If your otherwise naughty child gives you puppy-dog eyes and comes with a giant smile plastered on their face, you don’t need any amusement park ride for an adventure; you know you’re in for an all-nighter or a hurried homework completion session.

If you’re a parent whose child often turns their back on homework and comes to you at the eleventh hour and barely manages to complete it, you’re not alone. Whether one likes to do it or not, homework constitutes an important part of one’s academic life. If your child is not the super rare, highly punctual, organised and academically high-spirited sort, you would know about the qualms associated with homework and the conflict it begets in families. So, how does one really inspire one’s child to get to successfully do their homework? To address the elephant in the room, we must first take a look at the ideas kids with different temperaments and personalities have towards homework and why they don’t find it worth completing.

A few of the reasons why children aren’t motivated to do their homework are:

• They are usual procrastinators who don’t want to know why it is given and how they would be benefited by it in the long term.
• They simply forget that they have been given homework.
• They are finding the space at home to be not so conducive for doing their homework and also think they lack the necessary technological support to aid them.
• They are overly attached to gadgets or playing video games because of which they don’t devote as much time to studying and completing the home work.
• They are more inclined towards activities outside of school, such as karate, yoga, music and painting classes or have a demanding schedule because of those pursuits.

The truth is, there is no ideal way of luring or tricking kids into doing their homework with temporary rewards like increased screen-time, gifting their expensively favourite video games or toys, or even the promise of buying them a swanky new bicycle. You most probably will see them going back to square one and ditching their homework as and when they’ve exhausted your captivating rewards.

As a concerned parent, the best thing that one can do is identify what’s causing kids to make faces when it comes down to home work. This is especially true in the context of maths homework. Given the fact that mathematics needs to be studied almost every day for students to be able to learn the sheer variety of concepts that it has, practice and timely homework are a must.

By dealing with the crux of kids’ aversion towards homework, parents can come up with a solution that permanently fixes the problem and motivates them to do their homework not just once, but consistently, without any crutches or attachment to rewards.

Tips to Motivate Your Child to do Homework

The following remedies might prove to be of great help if you’re a parent wanting to sweeten your child’s bitter relationship with homework.

Explaining to them the rationale behind regularly doing homework and its upside:

Most kids would think of homework as an unnecessary and painstaking activity. Parents can change this perception if they successfully show their kids that homework is meant for their greater good. Putting things on hold and lazing around is a natural human tendency, but becomes a source of tension when one keeps on postponing tasks. When kids persistently solve their homework maths problems every day, they’re hardwiring whatever they learn through doing their homework into their brain. By doing this, students won’t feel nearly as helpless or stressed on the day before their maths exam as they would otherwise, by finding themselves toppling with the weight of pending math homework. After all, it’s better to do the math little by little and then take the exam and have a fruitful aftermath!

Setting daily reminders for checking homework:

Let us admit. The best of us forgets to do things. While some kids may be masters of mischief and have an otherwise strong memory when it comes down to their monkey business, they may display a newly weakened memory when asked about their homework. It almost is like magic, and a great spell that can work to counteract this magic is reminders. Whether they are in the form of sticky notes pasted at spots where kids can see them or digital reminders found in your smartphones, you can use them to remind children about their homework. Even if your child is one that devotedly does his or her homework and genuinely forgets about it once in a while, reminders can and do help. If they are successful able to finish their homework, they’re eligible for a hearty praise that would further motivate them to do it in the future as well by giving them a sense of accomplishment.

Creating a tranquil atmosphere at home for kids to be able to study and approach you very easily:

A great deal of parents are completely aware of and keep a track of their child’s activities and progress in school. Sailing through a lot of personal, familial, professional and social obligations can be a task for anyone, but a responsible parent must pay heed to their little ones’ learning needs through it all. Let your kids relax for a while once they come back home from school. If you nag them and ask them to take to doing their homework while they’re still reeling from their schoolwork, it is going to backfire. Let them take a break and then you could talk to them about their homework.

Familial conflicts and halfhearted parenthood can create an environment in the house that is nowhere conducive to a child’s mental health, and could distract them from studying. A lot of mental calculation goes into doing maths homework, and parents must ensure a calm atmosphere in the house. Maybe your child is a shy one and maybe he or she needs more attention. Since kids won’t always tell you or talk to you about what’s bothering them or what they need, you need to pay attention to the little things such as the presence of ample of stationery items and geometric tools and calculators. Parents must take time out of their schedule and sit with their children and help them in their homework. They can and should try and explain to them basic concepts in the subject, if they ever need help at all. This would give two benefits. One would be of a bettered bonding between the parents and children and the other would be an increased interest in doing homework. ( Also Read: Understanding the Teenage Brain: What’s going on inside? .)

Limit their screen time to a healthy quantity:

The homes of a lot of people on the face of the earth today are laden with gadgets of different sorts. While it is understandable that kids in the present day revel and deserve to revel in entertainment that gaming consoles or smartphones and tablets provide, they must be taught well to exploit the functions of those devices that can enrich them in educational knowledge as well.

If kids continue to have unrestrained access to such devices, they will most likely be immersed in them irredeemably. This will most likely prevent them from doing their homework. Hence, parents must ensure that kids have a healthy amount of screen time and know when to intervene.

Even if a child is fond of playing outdoors with friends and takes little interest in studies, he/ she must be explained how physical activity is indeed a great thing, but one must devote their time to home work and studying as well. Knowing when to intervene in their kids’ activities and knowing how to do it softly yet triumphantly is one skill that the parents must conjure.

Create a well turned out timetable for managing kids’ extracurricular to create a balance between their school life and the life beyond school:

Parents almost always feel proud when their children take to learning things. It is commendable when one’s child excels at school, and parents find their hearts swelling with pride when he or she blooms even in the activities that they undertake while they’re not studying. One can learn to paint, to play the guitar or the piano, to learn to ride a horse, learn singing or even learn martial arts and a parent would only be proud. It does become a problem though when kids find themselves stretched in between and entangled in two things. To prevent kids from having a tiring schedule and to enable them to do their homework calmly, a carefully designed timetable will only help. Parents can sit with their kids and address the issue of time management. By making a time table, kids can devote the correct amount of time to whatever they are pursuing, while ensuring their homework and studying doesn’t take a hit.

Often, the strife created by incomplete homework pushes kids to be on the brink of tears. It also frustrates parents and at times leads to a face-off between the two parties. Realising that a child can be motivated to do their homework with steady and continual efforts is imperative for the parents. As a parent, if you feel your child is genuinely overwhelmed with homework even after having a shot at it, you know it’s time to talk to the teacher and see if the quantity of homework that he or she is giving in the school is the pink of their mental and physical health or is plainly excessive.

A robust quantity of homework is essential for your child, and he or she can be encouraged to do it with channeled efforts of yours sooner or later. Hold their hand whenever they need it, and you probably wouldn’t be too far from marveling at their academic transformation with regular homework.

7 Ways To Motivate A Kid With ADHD To Do Homework And Chores

Start by meeting your kid where they are — and really listen to what they’re telling you.

All parents fight with their kids to do their chores or homework, but with kids who have ADHD, it’s a whole other battle. Children with ADHD are neurologically wired to have difficulty starting and finishing tasks . They often struggle with executive functioning , a family of mental skills that includes the ability to plan, conceptualize, and execute goals. All of this means that completing everyday tasks such as homework and chores — or even getting up for school — can become major points of difficulty for some kids, and major points of conflict between them and their parents.

That doesn’t mean that the only option is to push your way through. For children (and adults) with ADHD, staying on task can sometimes be as easy as reframing the process using management and motivation styles that better fit their needs and are more suited to the way they think. While the same strategies won’t work for everyone, these seven tips are a great place to start figuring out the right setup to keep your kid with ADHD on task.

1. A Little Understanding Goes a Long Way

Start by meeting your kid where they are — and really listen to what they’re saying. When a child appears disinterested or unable to start a task or an assignment, try to identify anything that might be getting in their way. ADHD and anxiety often go hand in hand , and tasks can feel overwhelming if they’re long and complex, or they may bring up some underlying discomfort (like assignments from that one terrifying teacher). Once you know what obstacles your child is facing, you’ll be better poised to find ways to overcome them. And yes, being bored definitely counts as one of these obstacles.

2. Break Down Larger Goals

Maintaining focus and motivation over a long period of time is difficult for kids with ADHD — it’s like trying to remember your place in a book with pages that won’t stop flipping around. Plenty of projects can be broken down into discrete parts, and writing them down on a piece of paper or a whiteboard can help free up brain space and encourage your child to focus on one step at a time, says Carey Heller, Psy.D. , a Maryland-based psychologist who specializes in childhood and adolescent ADHD. Try finding a way to help your child unwind in between each step.

3. Encourage Routine

“Creating structure is really important,” Heller says. Small routines, like a pre-homework snack after school followed by a set reminder to do homework , can help create a familiar flow of activities that eliminates the need to spend mental energy on planning when to tackle heftier tasks.

Knowing when a change in activity is coming is also a huge boon for the ADHD brain, which can easily become fixated and difficult to redirect . “For example, if a child is reading for fun, or playing a game of some kind, suddenly being surprised by parents saying ‘It's time to do homework ’ may make them yell or react a little more strongly because of the difficulty shifting attention, rather than it being that they truly don't want to do it,” Heller says. If it’s a routine that game time stops at 5 p.m. everyday, switching away from that activity will likely be less of a fight.

4. Set Reminders

When it comes to ADHD , organization is key. Luckily, there’s no shortage of tools to help parents and children achieve it. For older kids with smartphones, using the reminder and calendar apps to break up tasks into to-dos and deadlines is just a matter of building the habit. For parents of younger children, or those who may not want their kids relying on screens to manage their planning, smart home devices can act as hands-free virtual assistants for even the tiniest of tots. Heller says he uses his own Amazon Echo to set reminders so often that his son was listing off his own tasks to the device at the age of 4. For a tech-free option, paper planners can be a huge help to older kids — some are even made specifically for those with ADHD . The best reminder system for your kid, Heller says, is whichever one they’ll use.

5. Add Rewards

It’s what we all want for a job well done — something to look forward to. There’s good evidence that the dopamine reward pathway — the portion of the brain that makes you feel good when you accomplish something — is disrupted in people with ADHD, leading to a deficit in the ability to motivate from within . Thankfully, there’s also evidence that for children under 12 , having an extrinsic reward, or something tangible to look forward to, can improve performance on a task.

For bigger projects, Heller suggests sprinkling rewards along the way. Which rewards work best is going to vary a ton from child to child, but options such as a favorite meal or quality time with a parent tend to be a hit in his office.

6. Embrace Fidgeting

Sure, your kid has to sit still at school. But at home, there’s no need to be so rigid. Heller swears by the strategy of “ harnessing fidgeting to improve focus .” Turn your kid’s desk into the most fun home office in the house with items like an under-desk elliptical, a balance board, or even a simple standing desk setup — find what clicks for them. Even something as simple as pacing the room while reading can help some kids with ADHD stay engaged.

7. Remember: You’re There to Guide

Helping your child manage their ADHD is all about “parenting for independence ,” Heller says. He encourages parents to develop strategies that their children and teens can take into adulthood and use themselves, rather than ones that require constant parental involvement. For younger kids, modeling certain routines and behaviors can be a huge push in the right direction.

This article was originally published on Aug. 16, 2022

• Our Mission

The Case Against Grading Homework

When homework is meaningful and contributes to their learning, students are more likely to complete it.

As a middle school teacher, I sometimes spot students huddled up in the school hallway before class frantically copying homework. A teacher can stop to intervene, as I have done dozens of times, but we all know that they’ll just find a new place to copy the work away from the observant eyes of the adults at school. This is clearly academic dishonesty, and it’s easy to point the finger at the students. But what is the root cause of this dishonest behavior?

The student who is copying their homework either didn’t have time to complete it, forgot to do it, or doesn’t care to do it. They are copying the work so they can earn, most likely, a completion grade on the assignment. Students know the drill—if it looks like they did the assignment, then that’s good enough for a completion check mark in the grade book.

Is the student concerned that it’s imperative to review and practice this material in order to do well on the subsequent assessments in class? Is the student concerned that they will be found out during a rich conversation about the exercises in class? Probably not, or else the student would not resort to simply copying the work.

What are we doing as teachers to make homework worthwhile for the students beyond the typical completion grade?

3 Ways to Motivate Students to Do Ungraded Homework

1. Make assignments meaningful. Teachers and students alike know that practice is necessary to perform well. It would be hard to argue with an athletic coach that going to practice is not necessary, and instead, it’s fine to just show up to the game and wing it.

”Practice > scrimmage > game” is a helpful metaphor that the educators at Adlai Stevenson High School in Lincolnshire, Illinois, use to describe their school’s homework/assessment grading structure. Like team practice, homework is assigned for the purpose of practicing and reviewing—and to further the metaphor, practices are not graded, of course. Scrimmages can be compared to quizzes or other lower-stakes assessments. Lastly, the game is the culminating summative assessment such as a project or test.

Using this metaphor borrowed from athletics, it’s clear that students must practice and review to perform their best for the big game.

Beyond sharing this metaphor with your students, sometimes it takes explicit explanation from the teacher for the students to see this connection. “Tonight you are assigned 15 various conjugation exercises to help you prepare for your mock job interview project. Both partners will need to be proficient with simple past tense to conduct the interview.” If a student wants to engage appropriately in their upcoming French interview project, they will be motivated to review their ​​passé simple conjugations.

2. Feedback doesn’t have to be a grade. A sixth-grade student once told me that she completed all her math homework, but she never knew if she did it right. If I were in her math class, I would be unmotivated to do any of my homework.

Beyond providing an answer key so that students can self-check that they are on the right track with their work, teachers can also engage in meaningful feedback on homework. This might look like students randomly posting problems and their work on the board, students discussing problems in small groups, or providing time in class for students to ask about any questions they were unsure about. (Read more about how to create a mistake-friendly classroom here .)

I find that when I follow homework with a rich discussion the next day, students are more likely to complete their assignments. They know they cannot fully participate in the discussion unless they have their work with them at that moment. When homework is followed with feedback, students can close the loop on how they are performing with a concept, without having to be assigned a grade.

3. Students are still held accountable even if homework isn’t graded. Cathy Vatterott, author of Rethinking Homework , writes for the Association of Middle Level Education , “Teachers who don’t grade homework still monitor completion of assignments and communicate with parents about missing work. They just don’t count it as part of the student’s grade.” Teachers can keep a record of homework completion to inform conversations with parents and caregivers.

A teacher might share this information with a parent: “Emma struggled with simplifying fractions on her recent quiz. She was assigned two practice assignments on this topic last week, but she only brought one to class. It is important that she keep up with the daily practice to improve with this concept.”

There are several ways to keep a record of student work without assigning a grade. Laila I. McCloud, director of the MEd in Higher Education Program at Grand Valley State University, writes in the article “ Keeping Receipts: Thoughts on Ungrading from a Black Woman Professor ,” “I keep receipts in the following ways: having students engage in peer review of their work, providing detailed feedback, and using course engagement reflections.”

Instructional coach Tyler Rablin suggests a team-style game to get students engaged with the previous night’s homework or allow the students to use their homework (with feedback) as an aid on a future assessment. “Accountability doesn’t just have to mean an added consequence, but it can be a much more authentic and natural consequence (both positive or negative) for the homework.”

There will always be pushback from teachers, administrators, and parents who claim that students will not complete the assignment if it’s not graded. To counter this argument, there will always be students who won’t do the assignment whether it’s graded or not. When homework isn’t graded, a student’s average in the class reflects only what they know and can do in class—a more equitable reflection of a student’s progress .

With meaningful assignments and robust feedback, students may be more motivated to engage with practice and review. Reflect on ways you can shift your students’ perspective on homework. If students are regularly not completing the work you’re assigning, ask for feedback on how the assignments can become more meaningful and beneficial to their learning.

A lot of teachers are working on new approaches to homework in an attempt to guide students to focus on their learning rather than grades . If you have strategies you’ve had some success with, or if you have questions that other educators might be able to help with, please share them in the comments.

Mommy Minute: Tips for helping kids with homework

Homework can be stressful not only for kids but for parents as well.

To start off on a positive note, parents should check in with their child after school before getting out the nightly assignments.

“Kids are tired at the end of the day, so you want to make sure your child’s basic needs are met before beginning their homework. Are they hungry, thirsty or do they simply need a brain break,” explained Emily Mudd, PhD, a child psychologist at Cleveland Clinic Children’s. “Then, determine the best time of day for your child to do their homework, and keep in mind it may be different for each of your children.” 

Dr. Mudd said kids thrive when they have a set structure and routine, so it’s important to encourage them to start their homework at the same time every day.

It’s also helpful to have a dedicated space where your child can work and be productive.

Dr. Mudd said it’s best for kids to set aside cell phones and other devices when working on assignments.

Parents can use screen time as a reward after everything is completed for the night.

When it comes to intervening with your child’s homework, Dr. Mudd said parents can help with different assignments but should refrain from doing all the work.

“You really want your child to develop confidence and autonomy in being able to do their own work. Parents should wait until their child reaches out to them to say they need help with a certain problem,” Dr. Mudd said. “You want to create that relationship where your kids know you’re available during their homework time to help them when they need it.” 

Although helping your kids with homework can be stressful, it’s important for parents to demonstrate positive coping skills as a model for their children.

Dr. Mudd said parents can openly express that they need to take a break when they’re overwhelmed, engage in a relaxation activity with their child and then return to the assignment.

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Home / Expert Articles / Child Behavior Problems / Laziness & Motivation

Unmotivated Child? 6 Ways to Get Your Child Going

By debbie pincus, ms lmhc.

Why is it so hard to motivate kids? As parents, we often have a funny, inaccurate belief that our children won’t care unless we twist their arms. But the simple truth is that your attempts to motivate your child are probably working against you.

You can’t make your child care just because you do—in fact, you might actually get in the way of their motivation. What’s worse, the push-pull of trying to motivate your child usually turns into a power struggle. There’s something wrong with the picture if you care more about your child’s grades than he does.

If you’ve been getting in your child’s “box” and trying to make him care because you do, it’s important to stop and ask yourself this question, “What’s my child’s responsibility here? What’s mine?” If your child isn’t getting his work done, your job as a parent is to hold him accountable and teach him how the real world works. In the real world, if you don’t finish your work, you won’t get paid.

Give consequences to show your child what the result of his poor choices are, but don’t confuse the reason for doing this with thinking you’ll make him care about his math homework simply because you care about it. Consequences aren’t there to create motivation; you give them because you’re doing your job as a parent. The bottom line is that you can’t motivate another person to care. Your role, rather, is to inspire and influence.

As parents, we often feel responsible for our child’s outcome in life, but understand that this is never the case—ultimately, your child is responsible for his own choices. But because we think our kids’ success depends on us, we step into a place where we don’t belong. We’re taught that we need to somehow control our kids, so we often jump in their box without a second thought. We think we’re supposed to motivate our children to want certain things in life, but that only causes them to function in reaction to you. Your child might comply to get you off his back or even to please you, but that doesn’t help him get self-motivated. Again, you definitely want to inspire and influence your child. The goal is the same: we want our kids to be motivated—it’s how we get there that makes the difference.

The truth of the matter is, some children are less motivated than others. There are kids who are smart as a whip but who get report cards with D’s and F’s. Some sit in the classroom gazing into space despite the teacher’s—and your—best efforts. Maybe you have a child who forgets his assignments or worse, does them and never turns them in. Or you might have a pre-teen who doesn’t seem interested in anything and has no real hobbies or passions. Maybe your teen gives up easily or doesn’t want to try. In spite of your best efforts, he remains stuck or is starting to fall behind. (If you have other concerns, be sure to have the school and/or your child’s pediatrician rule out learning disabilities, ADHD/ADD, depression, addictions and other conditions.)

If your child is one of the less motivated, it can be a source of great worry and frustration and sometimes even despair—and that’s where the trouble can begin. The trouble in this case is your reaction to your child’s lack of motivation, not the lack of motivation itself. When you get nervous about him, you try to motivate him from the grip of your own anxiety, and forget that it’s just not possible to make someone care.

Ask yourself these questions:

• Does your worry compel you to nag, hover, push, cajole, or over-function for your child?
• Does your frustration cause you to yell, scream, beg, punish, and throw your hands up in despair?
• Does your helplessness cause you to start fighting with your spouse, who never seems to do as much as you think he or she should do to get your child motivated?
• Does your fear about your child’s underachieving cause you to keep trying to get him to change and to be more motivated?

If you find yourself doing any of the above, you’ve probably seen your child resist, comply to get you off his back, rebel, or dig in his heels harder. Let me be clear: Whether he fights you or goes along with what you want, the end result is that he will be no more motivated than he was before. You might eventually get him to do what you want, but your goal of helping him be self-motivated is still a far away reality.

If you’ve ruled out learning disabilities and behavioral disorders and your child still isn’t participating in family life, and isn’t doing chores or homework, somehow you probably aren’t holding him to the line.

In that case, you need to hold him accountable and provide the consequences that will guide him to the right place. You’ll get the video game once you get your homework and chores done. Do this along with standing back enough to find out who your child is. If he doesn’t seem to get up on time, step back a little bit and see what his sleep patterns seem to be.

If there’s a particular chore he dislikes, you might talk to him and see if he and a sibling could switch tasks. I’m not saying we have to suit everybody’s desires but it’s not bad to check in and see what they might do better with. Maybe your son hates loading the dishwasher but would like to cook dinner because he’s interested in becoming a chef.

In this way, you’re helping your child see himself and define himself. Get out of his way and really see him, and then get out of his head so he can think for himself. At the same time, hold him accountable to the basic things that he needs to do in life.

Related content: Motivating Underachievers: 9 Steps to Take When Your Child Says “I Don’t Care”

How do you inspire your kids to motivate themselves? Here are six tips to help you influence them towards self-motivation.

1. Don’t Let Your Anxiety Push Them To Get Motivated

You will only motivate them to resist you or to comply to calm you down because they want you to leave them alone. This won’t motivate them as much as teaching them how to appease or resist you. It then becomes about reacting to you instead of focusing on themselves and finding some internal motivation. Your anxiety and need for them to care will just create a power struggle between you and your child.

2. Be Inspiring

The only way to motivate is to stop trying to motivate. Instead, work towards inspiring your child. How do you do that? Be an inspiring person. Ask yourself if your behaviors are inspiring or controlling. Understand that your kids will want to run the other way if you’re too controlling. Think about someone in your own life who is inspiring to you, and work towards that goal. Remember, the only thing you’ll motivate if you’re pushing your child is the motivation to resist you.

3. Let Your Child Make His Own Choices—and Face the Consequences

Let your child make his own choices. When it’s a poor choice, hold him accountable by letting him face the natural consequences that come with it. If the consequence of not doing his homework is that the computer is taken away, put the need to get that computer time back in his hands. If he finishes his work, he gets the time on the computer you’ve agreed upon. That will be a motivation for him in the right direction without you telling him what to do, how to do it, and lecturing him on why he should care.

As a parent, what you’re actually doing is asking yourself, “What will I put up with? What are my values and principles?” and you’re sticking to them.

4. Learn What Makes Your Child Tick

• What motivates my child?
• What does he really want?
• What questions can I ask that will help him discover and explore his interests?
• What are his goals and ambitions?

Step far enough away to see your child as a separate person. Then observe what you see. Talk to him to find the answers to the questions above. And then listen—not to what you want the answers to be, but to what your child is saying. Just listen to him . Respect his answers, even if you disagree.

5. Get Your Child to Want to Do the Right Thing

Imagine two doors. Door number one is for the parent who wants to get their kids motivated and do the right thing in life: get up, go to school, get their work done, be successful. Door number two is for parents who want their kids to be self-motivated to do those things. They want to influence their child to work toward the things they’re interested in. To not only do the right thing, but to want to do the right things.

Which door would you enter? If it’s door number one, then the way to achieve that goal is push, punish, beg, nag, bribe, reward, and cajole. If you decide on door number two, then you’ll reach that goal by asking different kinds of questions.

Rather than, “Did you get your homework done?” you might say, “Why did you decide to do your homework today and not yesterday? I noticed you chose not to do geometry yesterday, but you’re doing your history homework today. What’s the difference?” Be an investigator, exploring and uncovering, helping your child discover his own motivations and sticking points.

6. Your Child’s Behavior is Not Your Fault

Remember, your child’s lack of motivation is not your fault, so don’t personalize it. When you do this, you may actually contribute to the underachieving by creating more resistance.

Look at it this way. If you look too closely in the mirror, you can’t really see yourself—it’s just a blur. But when you get farther away, you actually see yourself more clearly.

Do the same thing with your child. Sometimes we’re just so close, so enmeshed, that we just can’t see them as separate from us. But if you can stand back far enough, you can actually start to see your child as his own person and start to find out what makes him tick—and then you’ll be able to help him understand himself as well. When you step back and observe, you’ll know what works for him, why he’s reaching for certain things and what really gets him moving.

There will be things he’s never going to be motivated to do but is still required to them. He may hate doing his chores and try to get out of it, and that’s when you give him consequences.

The goal is to influence your child when he has to do something he doesn’t want to do, and get to know him well enough to figure out what his own desires might be. As a parent, you want to strengthen his skills in defining what’s important to him. You want to help your child define for himself who he is, what’s important to him and what he’s going to do to make those things happen.

Our responsibility is to help our kids do that, not to do it for them. We need to stay out of their way enough so they can figure out who they are, what they think and where their own interests lie.

Related content: How to Deal With Your Child’s Attitude

Empowering Parents Podcast: Apple, Spotify

About Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC

For more than 25 years, Debbie has offered compassionate and effective therapy and coaching, helping individuals, couples and parents to heal themselves and their relationships. Debbie is the creator of the Calm Parent AM & PM™ program and is also the author of numerous books for young people on interpersonal relations.

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Emma “Why did you decide to do your homework today and not yesterday? I noticed you chose not to do geometry yesterday, but you’re doing your history homework today. What’s the difference?” I can tell you exactly how my son would respond: "I don't know."

I have three kids. The eldest child I raised using rewards and everything was fine, but when he was about 5 years old, he accumulated the amount he needed and refused to do chores. I couldn't make him do anything else, because his already had a certain attitude to matters. Now he is 7 years old, it is impossible to force him to do household chores. I don't know what to do. I am not ready to put pressure on him, as it affects the child's mental health. With the second child, everything was somehow easy, he took the vacuum cleaner himself, helped clean the table and put away the toys. He repeated everything after me and I just praised him. The third child I raised using printable star reward charts. The son liked it, but the stars were constantly lost. Then we switched to the Manini app. Now the youngest child is 3 years old and we already know how to do a lot. I don't scold him if he misses something or doesn't want to do it.

Now I think about it and wonder how different all children are)

Jane This is a great article. I knew I was doing it all wrong because it wasn't working! Now I understand why. Unfortunately, my personality makes me pushy like this. I am going to have to read this article over and over to keep reminding myself of a better way More to deal with this situation. Again, what a great article.

Dad that inspires I have 4 kids ages 4 to 11. Their mom and I split up last year. The younger two can entertain themselves well. The older two are depressed and not motivated after the breakup. I appreciate the suggestions and will research the topic through many authors. This is my first More reading. As the oldest sibling of 7 and our father drinking heavily and passing at a young age I know well about going from high motivation to none. I remember pretty much everything growing up. What I needed or expected and how I would teach or talk to my kids when I grew up. 30 years later I’m doing just that. My kids are same gender and age difference as myself and siblings. Yes I’ve seen how the constant nagging makes it worse for them. I’ve tackled it from many angles. What worked was honesty (just not too far) , trust, and relating with them. In that I found out my anxiety had slowed me down and been toxic for 30 years. I couldn’t preach what I wasn’t practicing. I reached out. Friends and family helped to show me ways to self motivate and have self respect. Now I have a new angle. Learning it with them. Best part is when it unfolds in front of them and they see first hand. I share comforting tricks with them. And the open up. I’ve been worried about the older two because i know first hand what it was like to be left to figure it out myself. I am lucky to still be here. Everything happens for a reason. I learned how to both relate and be their friend. And gain respect by showing respect. Lead by example. My daughter who went from hero to zero over the split up told me today that her face hurt from smiling so much today. They all went to bed with smiles. Persistence is key. It is my fault if they’re unhappy. I am their father. Every kiddo is different. So if one way doesn’t work try another. Real world comparisons help as well. I’m sure I will find flaws and correct them. When I finally took charge of my kids using maybe a third of their capabilities I knew what I had to do. Dont be like dad was. And find their special way how. Individually after together.

Maritza Budney Love the article on motivation, I am a nagger and a yeller, after reading this article I realized that my ways need to change, I need to stop blaming myself for my kids bad choices. Thanks for showing me ways to inspirer and motivate my teen daughters. I look forward More to more helpful articles. Gob bless

Liz Keating Very helpful.

RebeccaW_ParentalSupport shahanas Many parents are troubled when a child does not seem to take his education seriously, so you are not alone.  As pointed out in the article above, you cannot make your son care about his grades just because it’s important to you and his teachers.  This doesn’t mean that More you are powerless, however.  Something that can be useful is to https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/end-the-nightly-homework-struggle-5-homework-strategies-that-work-for-kids/ for him where he can earn things that are motivating to him (such as time with friends or electronics) by studying and completing assignments.  You might also talk with him about how he canhttps://www.empoweringparents.com/article/acting-out-in-school-when-your-child-is-the-class-troublemaker/, and behave appropriately at school.  Please be sure to write back and let us know how things are going for you and your son.  Take care.

@MRSUTAH831 

I hear you.It can be so frustrating

when you are doing everything you can think of, yet your child continues to act

irresponsibly and doesn’t appear to care about consequences.Sometimes it can be useful to use additional

supports, like a counselor, to help you address inappropriate behavior.If you are not currently working with anyone,

try contacting the http://www.211.org/ at

1-800-273-6222.211 is a service which

connects people with available resources in their community.In addition, keep in mind that consequences

by themselves do not change behavior if your son is not learning what to do

differently in the future.You can read

more about this in our series https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/why-consequences-arent-enough-part-1-how-to-coach-your-child-to-better-behavior/

and https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/why-consequences-arent-enough-part-2-making-child-behavior-changes-that-last/.Please let us know if you have additional

questions.Take care.

Last year was a constant struggle to get my stepdaughter to do anything and she failed most of her classes. This year, she's repeating 10th grade and failing once again. Her father and I have no idea what to do. Her therapist wants us to be more positive and I recognize that last school year, her dad came home at 7 pm and it was a war over getting schoolwork done, emails with problems from teachers and things were very very negative. Then last spring, my stepdaughter was diagnosed with depression and spent 2 weeks in an in-patient facility due to suicidal thoughts. She's on medication but is not improving.

She attends a high school with very high academic standards and she will not be allowed to stay enrolled there unless her grades and behavior improve. So far this school year, she has decided it's not worth trying. Her GPA was damaged so much by failing last year that it will be impossible for her to get into a competitive college and community colleges will take anyone, so her attitude is why bother. She's been failing to turn in homework, doesn't pay attention in class and even failed to report to a detention that resulted in an in-school suspension.  If her grades and behavior don't improve, next semester she will be sent to an alternative high school which has issues with gang violence and drugs. There is no possible way my husband will allow her to go there. Home schooling isn't an option since then either her father or I will need to be the bad guy enforcing her doing school work. Applying to private school isn't an option since her grades and behavior problems would preclude her from being accepted. Our only option if she is not longer allowed to attend her current school is sending her to some sort of boarding school for girls with behavior problems or mental illness. 

I'm not sure how our family can afford a boarding school. Her mental illness isn't serious enough for insurance to pay. This could financially devastate our family, and my stepdaughter doesn't seem to care. She shrugs off being expelled. She doesn't care about the impact on the rest of the family.  I doubt whether the boarding school will even be effective since she has no motivation to do anything and doesn't care about any punishments. Honestly, I don't think she'll even want to come home. She has such a bad relationship with her father that she'll be happy to be gone.

We're at a complete loss at what to do. I know depression can take years to treat or if she has some more serious mental illness, it could take even longer. How do schools usually handle teens who are mentally ill and not turning in homework? Currently she is given extra time and still doesn't do assignments so additional accommodations wouldn't be helpful until it's a free pass to do nothing.

I’m a stepmom too. Almost 3 years ago my husband’s children were suddenly dropped at our doorstep by their mother, even though I know them since their were little is a different story having them full time. At the begging it was really hard. My stepdaughter who’s 14 years old was depressed and her grades were so bad that teacher would comment “ Not able to grade” she was really over weight and there was no “ motivational talk” that could help her, her brother who then was only 8 years old was a total mess. He would cry all the time he would attempt to hit me and his father, hated chores, school, homework, extracurricular activities the only thing he wanted was being in front of the TV. After almost 3 years things have change a little. My stepdaughter’s (15 years old now)grades are good, she will be going to 10th grade, just finished a college class over the summer and will be doing 3 AP classes, she’s in guitar classes and have lost 30 pounds, she now has a few friends, she thinks about going to college, she even wants to go to driving school, I don’t really have to be on her case as much about doing her chores or about brushing her teeth. My stepson was in therapy for a few months and his behavior has somewhat changed, he doesn’t cry for everything as he used to do, he still hate school- I did too- but at least complete his homework and does not complain about having to go to school. After all that said you may think that all our problems are solve, let me tell you “ they AREN’T”. Sometime we - Stepparents- kill ourself brainstorming about what else can we do to make them happy or to make them ready for future success but sometimes their emotional problems are deeper than we think, and those problems already existed before they came under our care. I used to consumed myself looking for things that could help them, they have all the things I thought they needed ; support, healthcare, clothes, friends, trips, extracurricular activities, but they still look like something is missing. My stepdaughter was caught “ Sexting” with a 25 year old guys who she met at a friends party, after that what we found was pretty bad. She was sexting with several kids at her school and many teacher would start sending messages to me and my husband about her being in the bathroom too long. She has developed kind of a addictive behavior sort of thing, is like she can’t stop. She hasn’t have social media for months but now she takes everything to the extreme if you let her, she can’t seem to have enough of anything. I talked to the school counselor and she said that she will refer her to a therapist she thinks my stepdaughter is at risk, her “ I wanted all behavior “ and her “ you only live once” behavior can get her into difficult situation that may be hard for her to get out of, so we are waiting on that. My stepson even though he would comply with things like getting ready for school or getting ready for swimming lesson he still needs constant supervision for the minimum thing like get your clothes ready, brush your teeth, go take a shower, getting the trash out-his chore-, he seems lazier than ever, never wants to try harder, he always wants to give up, maybe he’s depress too who knows. What I’m trying to say is that we can only do much, we trying to give the the right environment but we can’t not really change their inner environment, we can lead them to do it, but that’s about it. My husband, their father, does not really do much either, their mom is still figuring out her place in this world , she doesn’t have a place to stay, no job, no support system and only comes to see the children once a month “if”. I feel overwhelmed, always worrying, and thinking about their situation but sometimes we as stepparent have to step back for a minute and let them figure things out but their own, when I say them I’m referring to the children and their biological parents. Sometimes we think that children are better off with us ,which is my case, and maybe it is but children want to be with their mother no matter how disfuncional it may look, they don’t see the big picture , they’re not capable of, they’re too young, maybe they need the help to accept it, maybe it will talle them years, they hide behind all these behaviors or maybe is their coping mechanism, I don’t know, I wish I did. The only thing we can do is love them, show love to them, love ourself, respect them, teach them boundaries, what are your expectations in your household, the rest is just out of reach. I am trying, is hard, but that was what I accepted when I allowed the children to come and live with us, one day everything will change nothing is forever, and when that happens you will feel better with yourself because you were a helping hand at some point in their life.

Good luck to you.

concerned you are about your stepdaughter, and the possible consequences of her

current behavior at school.  At this point, I encourage you and your

husband to work together with the school to develop a plan to help your

stepdaughter meet her responsibilities, and hold her accountable for her

behavior there.  Janet Lehman outlines some tips on this in https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/when-your-child-has-problems-at-school-6-tips-for-parents/.  In addition,

you might consider https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/

with her at home about how she can meet her responsibilities at school.  I

recognize how challenging this must be for you and your family, and I hope that

you will write back and let us know how things are going.  Take care.

RebeccaW_ParentalSupport The core problem is my stepdaughter no longer cares, so the teachers, school counselor, her father and I can have all the meetings we want, but nothing changes since my stepdaughter doesn't want to change.  There's no way to hold her accountable since she doesn't care about anything. She hasn't had a cell phone for nearly 2 years. She doesn't have any friends. She doesn't go to parties, play video games or do anything other than stay in her room. Last school year, she would be in trouble for not doing her homework and would hide in the attic to avoid her dad. We've had to seal off the attic to keep her out of there.  She goes days refusing to speak to me or her dad and then we finally sit down and are able to talk to her, she explodes and starts screaming.

I wish the school would put a freeze on her grades and GPA and all of that would be out of the picture because it's putting so much stress on the situation, but they won't consider that. The teachers don't want to deal with her and want her out of their classes because she's not able to function there.  Her therapist is completely on a different page and doesn't want us even worried about school - but that ignores the fact that in January, we're going to have a make a decision about where she can be enrolled if she isn't expelled earlier.

Sofía So... What happened then? Did your stepdaughter get better? Maybe it would help to take away what you give to her, I mean, stop giving her internet, no more restaurants, no money for her to spend and chores in the house, try to explain to her that everyone has to More do some work in life and that someday she'll have to live and gain a living by her own. So, if she wants to stay at home without working, she'll feel the consequences. What I'm rying to say is that you should show her what real life looks like, why people go out and work even if they don't want to... Give her a time, but someday she'll have to understand, also stop treating her like she has a mental illness or as a depressed person because it's better without tags. Another good thing would be to show her images and movies and news about the miserys in the world, maybe that way she'll start being grateful for her life.

Christina Lopez I have the same lack of motivation/ambition issues with my 12 year old son. I am very concerned he will become one of the many lost soul 'safe space' kids of his generation. He has been a gymnast for six years and has never really applied himself very much or shown much drive or ambition compared to his teammates, despite his coaches urging. This is a pattern in his life and electronics and leisure related activities seem to be all he is really excited about. He is a good kid with a kind heart and he and I get along well, his mother and I do not but we are still married. Just being part of the team seems to be good enough for him, he has fallen to the bottom of the list of the boys at his level and aside for being embarrassed, he doesn't seem to care. He still participates because I pay the gym $500 a month so he can continue, we commute one out each way to the gym three time a week. At his level, he has to build more muscle and train his body outside the gym to progress in the sport. I workout with him every morning at 7am to keep him on track and make sure he is actually working and not just showing up to 'check the box' so he can claim he worked out, this is always a battle and I never ask him to do anything I am not doing. Its very frustrating because I am a achiever, stay fit and try to get better every day at most things. His mom and I are completely at odds on how to proceed with him. She says, just let him quit. I say, what is next and what will he do with all the free time he will inherits? She is not lazy, but does not exercise, has never been on a team or really competed outside of community theater. He agrees there are really no ambitious interests that will fill this void. We home school both of our boys and the younger one will continue in gymnastics 12 hours per week. He is a bit more gifted gymnastically but has also mentioned quitting if the older one does, my answer is no. 

I would really like to hear from parents who let their kids quit activities like this and what the immediate and long term result has been. I will never quit motivating and inspiring my children in that order. Their lives and mine will demand results if they are to have a quality existence.

HelpFrustratedMom 

It can be really frustrating when you feel as though you are

putting in more effort into motivating your son to play basketball than he

is.  Ultimately, your son is in charge of how much effort he puts into his

playing, as well as figuring out his own motivations.  It’s not uncommon

for some kids to enjoy playing the game for the sake of playing, and so they

are not motivated by competition.  It’s also pretty normal for kids to

engage in https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/does-your-child-rely-on-wishful-thinking-how-to-motivate-him-toward-attainable-goals/; that is, making promises to try harder and do better, without a

clear plan for exactly what to do differently.  While the choice of

whether to keep him in his travel team is yours, you might do some https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/

with him about what he will do differently to meet expectations moving

forward.  Thank you for your question; take care.

@Concernedmom 

It can be very challenging when your child is playing

sports, yet is not putting forth his best efforts.  The truth is, people

become involved in sports for various reasons: physical activity, competition,

peer pressure, social interaction, among others.  I hear your concerns

that your son might get hurt playing football due to his lack of effort and his

fears.  Something you might try is https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/ about how he can participate more fully with the team.

Ultimately, though, it is up to your son to decide how much effort he decides

to put forth when he is playing and practicing, as well as how he feels about

playing on the team.  Thank you for your question; take care.

One of the hardest things a parent can experience is

watching your child hurt, and feeling helpless to fix it.  I hear how

difficult it has been for both you and your son to come to the realization that

he will not be able to achieve his goal of playing college lacrosse.  And,

truth be told, it’s https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/why-fixing-things-for-your-child-doesnt-help/ for your son.  Figuring out his happiness, his

goals, and his own motivations are his responsibilities.  While it is

helpful to be a supportive person for your son, it’s also important to

communicate to him through your words and actions that you believe he is

capable of handling this situation on his own.  College can be a great

time of self-discovery for many, and offers numerous opportunities to realize

new interests and goals.  I recognize how challenging this must be for

both you and your son, and I wish you both all the best moving forward. 

Frustratedmother 

I hear you.  It can be very difficult when your child

lacks motivation, especially when he has so much potential.  The truth is,

people generally don’t change until they are uncomfortable, and if your son is

having his needs met without working, then it’s not likely that he will be

motivated to look for work.  While you cannot make your son look for work,

or obtain a job in a given field, you can set some boundaries for yourself and

how you are responding to your son.  For example, you could look at

limiting the amount of financial assistance you are providing if he is not

actively looking for work.  You might also find it helpful to https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/ground-rules-for-living-with-an-adult-child-plus-free-living-agreement/ with your son which outlines your expectations and

boundaries.  I recognize how frustrating this can be, and I hope that you

will write back and let us know how things are going for you and your

family.  Take care.

Thank you for the article.  We're really struggling with our oldest, a 13-year old girl who is wrapping up 7th grade and as the quarter's assignments are being logged by teachers into her online portal, it looks like her grades will be at an all-time low, likely with an F in at least two if not three classes and already a D in one.  The main issue is that she has not turned in the vast majority of her assignments.  She tests above average in ability, generally speaking.  Like 70th or 80th percentile...not a genius but she should not be failing.  We did have her tested for ADD (she does not have ADHD) and the results were somewhat mixed & inconclusive.  We are thankful to have a strong, respectful, loving relationship with her.  She is a lot of fun, has some athletic interests, has solid friendships, and the friends tend to get decent grades.

My question is regarding natural consequences.  Mid-way through this school year and for about 4-5 months, we set up clear expectations (in writing) for privileges that were taken away for various academic infractions.  The consequences were tiered and escalating, starting with shorter-term loss of screen time, then loss of all electronics for longer periods, then grounding from social activities.  There were also associated rewards, in that she was going to get a trip abroad this summer (which she wants very much) if she didn't get anything below a C.  We stuck to this for months.  During this time, she was constantly in some type of state of bring punished.  It never produced a "rise" out of her or an improvement in her academics.  She never cared.  She said her friends just flat-out stopped asking her to do things on the weekend because they knew she was constantly grounded.  Without her electronics, she'd sleep away a Saturday afternoon.  We told her it was in her power to fix it and she would say "I know," and shrug.  We were always the police and we did not like it.  We held out for as long as we could, but when the report cards came out, it was clear that it didn't help.

She says she's not sure why she doesn't care about her grades.  We've tried to describe what working life might be like for a high school grad, or even a high school dropout.  But she's completely un-phased, saying she'd like to be a bartender when she gets older.  (which sounds like a "screw you" answer designed to get a rise out of us, but her delivery reads very genuine to me)

How would you approach setting up consequences?

@Mom in WI 

This is a common

frustrating scenario experienced by many parents this time of year, so you are

not alone.  When setting up consequences, it can be helpful to clarify

both what you want your child to learn from the experience, and what your goal

is for the consequence.  If your goal is to make your daughter care about

her grades, or see how important academic achievement is for her future, that

might be a difficult task to achieve.  This is because your daughter is an

individual, and is fully in charge of what is, and is not, important to her. 

In addition, at 13, she probably does not have the ability to foresee the

potential impact of her choices now on her adult life, simply based on where

she is in her development.  That being said, you are not powerless in this

situation.  One step you might consider is to have a conversation with

your daughter about what happened this year in school, what she learned from

this experience, and what she will do differently next year, or during summer

school if she is attending.  You might find additional helpful information

in our articles, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/why-you-should-let-your-child-fail-the-benefits-of-natural-consequences/ and https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/end-the-nightly-homework-struggle-5-homework-strategies-that-work-for-kids/. 

Please be sure to let us know if you have any additional questions.  Take

Mom in WI RebeccaW_ParentalSupport Thank Rebecca.  Our goal is simply to have her do the work.  She has very plainly said that she does not expect or want to do anything differently next year.  I know this almost-summer time of year is a hard one for students, but the bulk of our clear More goals and punishment/rewards happened mid-year.  Because the consequences we had set up were so ineffective, we decided to try another approach in the last quarter...to perhaps let the grades themselves be the natural consequence.  Maybe she'd be ashamed how poorly she did, for instance.  From what we can tell she seems to have failed quite spectacularly and couldn't care less.  We don't have any interest in beating her up about the grades that are already recorded.  But starting next school year, we don't know how to set her up for more success.  Everything we hear/read talks about natural consequences, but she accepts punishment (which is gruelingly constant) in a stoic manner without changing her academic patterns.  We want to set up some rules and consequences for next year but at this point we aren't sure how.

There are some very valid points here. However, just because you don't know how to motivate a child doesn't mean it can't be done. Sure, the vast majority of parents have no clue how to do this, but the fact is parents can be very influential if they do things the right way.

The first lesson is to avoid demotivating. You have written some good things on this but the number one thing that parents tend to do is correct their children. Kids hate being corrected and it doesn't take too many corrections to convince a child that they are no good at a certain thing, totally killing their motivation. Never correct a child when they are doing something you want to encourage.

The second lesson is show interest in everything you want to encourage. Kids love and need attention from their parents, so to encourage or motivate them, show them you are interested. The best way to do this is to be interested. If your not interested and you still believe it is important, try faking your interest until you actually become interested.

Avoid giving children the attention they need for negative things. If your children are getting all the attention they need by acting out, why would they be motivated to get the attention in positive ways? To achieve this you need to have good discipline strategies in place.

Be vigilant, when a child starts to show some inclination to do the things you want them to do, make sure you acknowledge it. They need to know you notice, if you miss the opportunity to acknowledge something it may be a while before they try again.

Concentration is hard for some kids, don't make it harder with poor sleep habits and a poor diet. It doesn't matter how motivated a child is, if they are tired they will struggle to concentrate and the same goes if they are on a sugar high or low. If you want motivated kids you must look after the basics.

These are some real things you can do to motivate your kids, eventually their own success will start to motivate them. The more they feel in control of their destiny the more they will be self motivated.

SB in FL Adam McGoldrick What is a parent supposed to do to correct a child when they aren't reading correctly, when they interpolate words or just say the wrong word entirely?  That isn't supposed to be corrected?  I get the gist of what you're saying but don't understand how to apply it More practically.

Maggs My daughter is 17 in the 9th grade, she is very social with family and friends and very good mannered. Active in sports but she is claiming is for her to be accepted by others. Not motivated with school work at all. I don't know how to help.

This sounds like a tough situation. Holding a child

accountable when he doesn’t meet expectations is important. It can be difficult

to do, though, when you get a response that includes aggression and property

damage. Many parents are unsure of how to respond to this behavior, so, you’re

not alone. We have several articles that offer tips for dealing with anger and

aggression. You may find the articles https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/angry-child-outbursts-the-10-rules-of-dealing-with-an-angry-child/ & https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/is-your-defiant-child-damaging-or-destroying-property/ helpful for learning ways of responding to this behavior. You

want to be mindful as well not to give consequences in the moment when the

behavior is happening. A more effective approach might be having your son earn

privileges by meeting expectations instead of taking things away when he

doesn’t do what he’s asked. You can say to your son something like “It’s time

to do your chores. When you’ve finished your chores, you can have your video

games” and then walk away. Don’t get pulled into a power struggle trying to get

him to comply. I hope you find this information useful. Be sure to check back

if you have any further questions. Take care.

My daughter is lacking motivation related to her appearance as well as many other things.  She is living a lonely life and I can't get through to her that she is sending a message to others but giving the impression that she doesn't care.  Sometimes she is dirty looking.  She says my standards are too high and exaggerates my intension to the point of being ridiculous and blaming me.

Any suggestions for how I can handle this?  I feel that I model positive behavior and make the effort to look clean, groomed and maintain acceptable hygiene.  You mentioned being a positive role model that is why I am mentioning it.

Seeking Suggestions

I can hear how much your daughter’s behavior distresses you.

Addressing hygiene concerns can be tough. Sara Bean gives some great tips for

steps you can take in her article https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/poor-hygiene-in-children-my-kid-stinks-help/. Another thing to consider is

making an appointment with her doctor and sharing your concerns. This could

help to rule out any possible underlying issues that may be affecting your

daughter’s behavior and choices. I hope you find the information in the article

useful for your situation. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are

going. Take care.

Sacarias Fantastic article! Thank you for all your help! God bless!

Sacarias You have to lead to water. Start doing what the article says and when your child starts improving, your partner will ask you where you learned what you are doing. Then, you can share the article and discuss together. Goodluck and God bless!

Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

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How Teachers Build Confidence to Motivate Middle Schoolers in STEM

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Middle schoolers embody a messy no-man’s land: young enough to get excited by stickers and play-acting, but mature enough to crave autonomy and opportunities to improve their world.

Younger adolescents have shed much of their early-childhood curiosity and confidence that they can do anything. They’re hyper-focused on peers, social standing, and extracurriculars, right when the academic rigor of their math and science classes ratchets up.

Good luck getting this difficult-to-inspire bunch excited about the electromagnetic spectrum or fractional coefficients.

Sixth through eighth grade marks a shift in what motivates students, presenting a big challenge for science and math teachers.

“For many [middle school] students, their motivation will decline” starting in adolescence, said Emily Rosenzweig, an assistant professor of educational psychology at the University of Georgia who studies adolescent motivation in STEM subjects.

There are different reasons why this happens, Rosenzweig said, but it surfaces some new problems for middle school teachers: “A big one is competence perceptions: struggling to help students feel like they can learn in STEM,” she said.

Key to motivating this group academically, experts say, is giving them the chance to solve real problems in the adult world, while nurturing their confidence in their abilities and potential. Educators must also appeal to both sides of a middle schooler: the adult they are becoming and the child they very much still are.

In this developmental stage, kids want to know why they’re learning something and not just be told to do it, said Rosenzweig. That desire to understand the “why” is rooted in adolescents’ growing need for independence, she said.

What motivates middle school students?

Connecting what students are learning in STEM subjects to problems they might have to tackle in the real world is an important strategy for motivating this age group.

In Dani Boepple’s 8th grade science class at McDonald Middle School in Mesquite, Texas—located in the Dallas metro area—students learn how human activity in their land-locked city impacts ocean ecosystems.

Boepple teaches them that what goes down drains and runs off lawns at home and in school eventually ends up in the ocean. The same is true of litter, which makes its way into local streams and rivers.

Students then develop plans for action they can take in their homes and neighborhoods to reduce ocean pollution from chemicals and plastics.

“Their plans are really simple but effective,” Boepple said. “They will say, ‘I need to tell my parents to not spray pesticides on the garden and we need to pull weeds. Or I can help my neighborhood by cleaning up the trash that I see in the parking lot.’ It’s things they can actually do to make an impact.”

Projects like these tap into this current generation’s interest in fixing their world, she said.

Connecting things to the real world that they can relate to is a great way to engage them. [...] You don’t have to teach straight from the book.

Boepple also takes her students on virtual field trips to see the inner workings of NASA’s Johnson Space Center in Houston and the technology behind Amazon fulfillment facilities in different states. Students can see how what they’re learning now about the physics behind the movement of objects in our solar system, for example, can be applied to real careers. Hands-on experiments—such as using kinetic sand to make 3D models of topographic maps or mixing chemicals to create reactions—can also be a powerful motivator, said Boepple.

A big challenge to motivating her students, Boepple said, is that many are so afraid of failing that they would rather not try, something she attributes to students internalizing the message that they’re behind after the pandemic and a weakening focus on growth mindsets in their schools.

To help students get past their fear of failure, Boepple focuses on something outside the traditional science curriculum: trust.

“If they trust you, they are more willing to try,” Boepple said. “Just like if they like you, they are more willing to try. Like is a big thing, especially for middle school. They are not going to work for someone they don’t like.”

Boosting her students’ confidence is a focus for Kristyna Mosqueda-Rogers in her 5th and 6th grade math classes as well. Mosqueda-Rogers teaches at Carr Middle School in Hale Center, a rural community in northwest Texas. Her students struggle with a lack of belief in their capabilities, which leads to disengagement.

Her answer? Food trucks.

Mosqueda-Rogers’ 6th grade students are designing their own food trucks, tackling all the math that comes with launching and running a small business, from making decisions about menus and hours of operation to calculating the cost of food, fuel, and wages.

Students build shoebox-sized cardboard models of their food trucks and present their final projects in a classroom food truck festival.

Mosqueda-Rogers’ 5th graders engage in a similar exercise: They design their own zoos, including researching and calculating the size of the enclosures for different types of animals.

“It brings in a lot of the concepts that we teach into one realistic scenario,” she said. “We’re looking at decimals, geometry, finance. ”

While Mosqueda-Rogers has found project-based learning to be very motivating for her students, talking about STEM careers or big, societal problems that can be solved through the STEM disciplines can be a little too abstract for her 5th and 6th grade students. So, she said, “I have to do stuff that’s related to them right now.”

But there are many barriers to teaching students math and science from a problem-solving perspective, according to educators in a recent EdWeek Research Center poll.

There are other strategies for motivating this age group beyond project-based learning.

Teachers can find ways to give students more say in their education, said Rosenzweig, the psychologist, to help meet their developmental need for independence. For example, teachers can offer students a choice between an essay or a presentation for an assignment, or consult students in creating classroom rules.

In Boepple’s 8th grade science classroom, students can earn tickets for meeting academic goals to spend in the “college store” she has created. She stocks her store with apparel and accessories from different colleges that she buys second-hand or has received through donations. Students in her school are allowed to not wear their required uniforms as long as they are sporting clothing with college names on it, and they go wild for the items, Boepple said.

“That really helps motivate them because they can’t afford to go buy a nice college sweatshirt,” she said. “They are so grateful, and they wear them every day with pride.”

Both Boepple and Mosqueda-Rogers say that stickers that recognize small or big achievements—the currency of many elementary school classrooms—remain powerful motivators for middle school students too.

Motivation is multifaceted, and so are the ways to inspire it

Mosqueda-Rogers also believes that the example she sets, as a Latina math teacher , is helping motivate her students by challenging stereotypes about who can be good at math.

“I have so many little Hispanic girls who have a deeper love for [math] now, and they’re just growing tremendously because they’re seeing that it can be done by anyone,” she said.

Even if middle school students—especially the younger ones—aren’t thinking too deeply, yet, about what they want to do when they grow up, it’s important that they see it as plausible that they could join a STEM field, said John Dedeaux Davis Jr., a STEM education specialist at NASA. The U.S. space agency employs him to develop resources for educators to spark kids’ interest in STEM subjects, so NASA has the scientists it needs in the future.

“That connection is very important because we know early exposure to STEM can help drive people to those careers,” said Davis, a former science teacher who taught middle school in Chicago and Texas for 16 years before joining NASA. “Middle school is when students really start to form those ideas of what they might do as a career.”

When he was in the classroom, Davis encouraged his students to tap into the inner child they were quickly growing out of and play make believe—acting like a surgeon or astronaut. The idea, he said, was simply to get students to imagine themselves in these roles.

When it came time to dissect animals, Davis decorated his classroom like a lab or operating room and gave students white coats to wear so they could pretend to be scientists or doctors.

When the class studied space, Davis set up different stations around the classroom. For instance, he turned the underside of a table into a rocket cockpit. Students laid on their backs beneath it, similar to how professional astronauts position themselves during take off.

“Connecting things to the real world that they can relate to is a great way to engage them,” Davis said. “You don’t have to teach straight from the book.”

Some students may seem very difficult to get engaged in STEM. But educators should not give up on them too quickly, Rosenzweig recommends.

There’s a common misconception that motivation comes solely from within students, when really their environments do a lot to shape motivation—such as classrooms that give students more autonomy and opportunities to see the real world application of what they’re learning.

Another big misconception: If a student seems disinterested, then they’re probably not motivated to learn about STEM subjects.

“If a student seems to be not paying attention, seems to be kind of disengaged, it could be because that student doesn’t like the subject and doesn’t want do it,” Rosenzweig said. “But it could also be that the student has a more complex profile. Like, they really think this is important, but they’re struggling with their confidence for it. Or they feel like this is something they can do, but they were up late doing work for a different class.”

And even if a student doesn’t seem destined for a career in a STEM field, competency—and confidence—in STEM subjects is still important for them, too, Rosenzweig said.

The critical thinking and problem-solving skills developed in STEM subjects apply to virtually all other fields and pursuits. And you can never really know when or how a student might find their way into a STEM field. A student may not follow a straight trajectory from high school, to college, to a career in engineering, said Rosenzweig. They might find their STEM calling later in life.

“In my opinion, the more we can do to cultivate that interest and confidence early, so students continue to see it as for them and continue to develop the basic competencies that leave the door open to lots of paths that they might discover later, the better,” she said.

Coverage of problem solving and student motivation is supported in part by a grant from The Lemelson Foundation, at www.lemelson.org . Education Week retains sole editorial control over the content of this coverage.

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