examples of success profiles personal statement

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How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

  • Ruth Gotian
  • Ushma S. Neill

examples of success profiles personal statement

A few adjustments can get your application noticed.

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

  • Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
  • Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
  • Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
  • Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

examples of success profiles personal statement

  • Ruth Gotian is the chief learning officer and associate professor of education in anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City, and the author of The Success Factor and Financial Times Guide to Mentoring . She was named the #1 emerging management thinker by Thinkers50. You can access her free list of conversation starters and test your mentoring impact . RuthGotian
  • Ushma S. Neill is the Vice President, Scientific Education & Training at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. She runs several summer internships and is involved with the NYC Marshall Scholar Selection Committee. ushmaneill

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Essay Examples 20 Personal Statement Examples That Stand Out + Why They Work

Essay Examples: Writing Your Personal Statement Essay

This is your ultimate list of Personal Statement examples.

In this post, you'll learn:

  • What makes a successful Personal Statement
  • How to write an irresistible Personal Statement
  • Ivy League personal essay examples

If you're looking to read and write Personal Statement essays, you've found the right place.

Ryan

In this post, I'm going to share everything you need to go from zero to having a Personal Statement essay you can be proud of.

This guide will help you get started writing an engaging Personal Statement essay. Or if you already have one, how to make it even better.

What is a Personal Statement Essay?

A personal statement, also called a statement of purpose (SOP) or personal essay, is a piece of creative, personal writing.

The purpose of your personal statement is to express yourself and your ideas. Personal statements usually aren't piece of formal writing, but still should be thoughtful and planned out.

Many applications for colleges, graduate schools, and scholarships require you to write a personal statement.

How to Write a Personal Statement Essay

While there are no rules or guidelines for writing a personal statement, the best ones often have these in common:

Have Strong Ideas:

Having compelling and interesting ideas shows you are a strong thinker.

It isn't necessarily about having all the answers, but asking the right questions.

For personal statement essays, the quality of your ideas matters more than your writing level. Writing interestingly is more important than writing beautifully.

I’ve stopped tripping over my own feet, and it’s led to me not being afraid to connect and interact with patients and customers or present in front of large crowds. Life is just one long Carioca – you might stumble at first, but if you keep pushing, the right feet will find themselves in the right place. From an accepted essay to UNC at Chapel Hill →

Be Authentic

Writing authentic essays means writing from the heart.

The best personal statements tend to come naturally, because the writer is excited about the topic.

Choose an idea that makes you feel excited to write about and start writing.

As you begin drafting, ideas will naturally arise related to your original idea. Exploring these tangential ideas is what leads to even better reflections for your essay.

That's why it's so important to be genuinely passionate about your subject. You can't just have an interest "in the topic," but there has to be something deeper you're writing about that moves you.

Use Narratives and Story-Telling:

Humans are naturally drawn to stories.

And often the best insights and ideas come from real life experiences.

Telling a story, or many, is the basis for developing your analysis and ideas. Remember, all stories need conflict in order to work.

It can help to think about the different types of conflict.

  • Character vs. Self
  • Character vs. Character
  • Character vs. Nature
  • Character vs. Society

And so on...

Once you've written a meaningful story, getting insights is as simple as answering the question: What did your experiences teach you?

The sounds of my knife striking kale unnerves my cat asleep in the corner. He quickly runs over to examine the situation but becomes instantly uninterested when he sees green and smells bitterness. Unfortunately, my family has this same reaction every day of every week. From an accepted essay to University of Southern California →

Showcase Your Values and Identity:

The purpose of a personal statement is to tell about who you are.

Personal statements are your opportunity to showcase what your values are, and how you would contribute to the school, scholarship opportunity, etc.

Good writers are those who write authentically. Write about your unique ideas and ask interesting questions, even if you don't know the answers.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

A typical personal statement can range in length from 500 to 650 words or more.

For applying to colleges, the Common Application essay personal statement has a word limit of 650 words.

For graduate school programs, the application essay will vary in length, but most schools require a personal statement essay of at least 500 words.

20 Personal Statement EssaysThatWorked

It can be difficult to understand what makes a great essay without seeing some for yourself.

Here's 20 of our favorite personal statement essays that we've chosen for being unique and high-quality.

There essays were all accepted into some of the most selective schools. And while it isn't the only factor in admissions that matters, having outstanding essays can help tip the scales in your favor.

Table of Contents

Prompt: Background, Identity, or Interest

  • 1. Uncomfortable Truths
  • 2. Romanian Heritage
  • 3. Film and Theater
  • 4. Person of the Woods
  • 5. Beautiful Walks

Prompt: Lessons from Obstacles

  • 6. My Father
  • 7. Self-Determination
  • 8. Game Design Music
  • 9. Speech and Debate

Prompt: Questioned or Challenged a Belief

  • 10. Finding Answers

Prompt: Accomplishment, Event, or Realization

  • 11. Connecting with Others
  • 12. Summer Confidence
  • 13. First Impressions
  • 14. Law Career
  • 15. Growing Up Asian

Prompt: Engaging Topic, Idea, or Concept

  • 16. Secrets of Riddles
  • 17. Rubik's Cube
  • 18. Narrative Diversity

Prompt: Any Topic of Your Choice

  • 19. Search for Dreams
  • 20. Recipe for Success

Personal Statement Example #1: Uncomfortable Truths

This is a personal statement that worked for Princeton . It is outstanding for many reasons, but most of all because of its ideas and the thoughtfulness put into organizing them.

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

Why This Essay Works:

Having a unifying idea is key to successful personal statements. Find your deepest idea or realization and focus your essay around that.

Find a way to showcase your achievements while connecting to broader, more universal ideas.

Connecting your ending to your beginning is a powerful way to bring your essay full circle. A great conclusion expands on your ideas introduced earlier, while leaving some room for more to be said.

Personal Statement Example #2: Film and Theater

This student's essay was accepted to USC , among other top schools. It's topic is seemingly simple—taking walks—but the author brilliantly shows how even in the mundane there can be meaningful reflections.

This essay has lots of moments where the author's character comes across vividly. By using conversational language and interjections like "I want to—no, need—to...", the author has a clear "voice" and you can easily imagine them as if they were speaking directly to you. This student also showcases self-awareness and a sense of humor, by using slightly self-deprecating phrases like "some chubby, nerdy girl" and by recognizing how the social approval of sitting with the "popular girls" was enthralling at the time. Self-awareness is a highly valuable trait to portray, because it shows that you're able to reflect on both your strengths and weaknesses, which is a skill needed to be able to grow and develop.

This author manages to tie in their activity of producing films and reference them specifically ("Cardboard Castles") by connecting them to their main point. Instead of listing their activities or referencing them out-of-the-blue, they show how these accomplishments are perfect examples of a greater message. In this case, that message is how meaningful it is to connect with others through storytelling. To write about your activities and achievements without seeming arbitrary or boastful, make them have a specific purpose in your essay: connect to a value, idea, or use them as examples to show something.

In the intro of this essay, there are some descriptions that seem fiction-like and are ultimately unimportant to the main idea. Sentences that describe Mrs. Brewer's appearance or phrases describing how their teacher stood up after talking to them ultimately don't contribute to the story. Although these provide "context," the only context that admissions are interested in is context and details which have a purpose. Avoid writing like fiction books, which describe all the characters and settings, and instead only describe exactly what is needed to "go somewhere" in your essay.

What They Might Improve:

This essay has a strong hook which captivates the reader by making them ask a question: "What are these lunch-time horror stories?" By sparking the reader's imagination early on, you can draw them into your writing and be more engaged. However, ultimately this is somewhat of a letdown because these intriguing "lunch-time horror stories" are never described. Although it may not be completely necessary for the main point, describing one example or hinting at it more closely would be satisfying for the reader and still connect to the main idea of storytelling. One idea is to replace the conclusion with a reference to these "lunch-time horror stories" more vividly, which would be a satisfying ending that also could connect to filmmaking and storytelling. In general, anticipate what the reader will be looking for, and either use that expectation to your advantage by subverting it, or give them what they want as a satisfying, meaningful conclusion.

Although this conclusion could work as is, it could be stronger by seeming less arbitrary and less "fancy for fancy sake." Often, a good strategy is to connect your conclusion to something earlier in your essay such as your introduction or specific wording that you used throughout. In this essay, it could work much better to end by revealing one of those "lunch-time horror stories" in a way that also emphasizes their main point: how storytelling is a powerful tool to connect people.

About This Personal Essay:

Personal statement example #3: romanian heritage.

This personal statement worked for UMichigan , among many other top schools like MIT, Rice, UNC at Chapel Hill , University of Pittsburgh, UW Madison, and more.

This author is able to vividly bring you into their world using cultural references and descriptive writing. You can practically taste and smell Buni's kitchen through her words.

This essay starts off by posing a challenge, which is typical of essays. But rather than showing how they overcame this particular challenge of speaking Romanian without an accent, this reader shows how something unexpected—baking—came to satisfy what was missing all along. By the end, this creates a conclusion that is both surprising, connected to the beginning, and makes perfect sense once you've read it. In other words, the conclusion is inevitable, but also surprising in content.

This student uses Romanian words to help exemplify the culture and language. If you're writing about a culture, using foreign language words can be a compelling way of adding depth to your essay. By including specific terms like "muni" and "cornulete," it shows a depth of knowledge which cannot be faked. Always use specific, tangible language where possible, because it is "evidence" that you know what you're talking about.

This student exhibits strong self-awareness by noting characteristics about themself, even some which may not be the most glamorous ("can be overbearing at times, stubborn in the face of offered help"). Rather than telling the reader flat out about these personal attributes, they are able to discuss them by connecting to another person—their grandmother Buni. Using another person to showcase your own character (through comparison or contrast) is a literary "foil," which can be an effective way of showing your character without stating it outright, which generally is boring and less convincing.

This student doesn't focus on surface-level ideas like "how they got better at speaking Romanian." Instead, they reflect in a creative way by connecting the Romanian language to baking. Revealing unseen connections between topics is a great way to show that you're a thoughtful and clever thinker. Ultimately, having unique ideas that are specific to you is what will create a compelling essay, and this essay is a perfect example of what that could look like.

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Personal Statement Example #4: Person of the Woods

This essay was accepted into Dartmouth College . It is a brilliant example of showing how any experience, even those which originally may have been unpleasant, can be the topic of meaningful reflection.

Using visuals, like descriptions of scenarios and environments, can help bring the reader into your world. However, make sure that all of your descriptions are relevant to your main point, or else they could be distracting. For example, in this essay it would be unnecessary to describe what they're wearing or the appearance of canoes, but it makes sense to describe the nature as it relates to the main topic.

People are not isolated units. Instead, everyone depends on and is defined by those around them. By showing how you relate and connect with other people, you can provide insights into your character. In this essay, the student does a great job of delving into their strong friendships, particularly what they've learned from their friends.

Admissions officers love to see self-growth. Showing how your perspective on something has changed (in this case, how they went from disliking to loving an activity) conveys a development of your character. Ask yourself: what preconceived notions did I have before, and how did they change? This student reflects in a humble way, by first emphasizing what they've learned from others, before offering up what they might have contributed themselves. Always try to have a tone of gratitude in your essays because it makes you more likeable and shows strong character.

Personal Statement Example #5: Beautiful Walks

Personal statement example #6: my father.

This personal statement was admitted to Michigan in recent years. It is an outstanding example of how you can write about topics that are often cliché if done poorly, such as the death of a family member.

But unlike other essays, this one works because it has a unique take and genuine approach to the topic that makes it come off as heartfelt.

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

Writing about a tragedy like a loss of a parent is a tricky topic for college essays. Many students feel obligated to choose that topic if it applies to them, but it can be challenging to not come across as trying to garner sympathy ("sob story"). This student does a graceful job of focusing on positive elements from their father's legacy, particularly the inspiration they draw from him.

This student does a great job of connecting their educational and career aspirations to their background. Admissions officers want to understand why you're pursing what you are, and by explaining the origin of your interests, you can have compelling and genuine reasons why.

In this essay, the student writes from their hypothetical perspective as an infant. This doesn't quite work because they likely wouldn't remember these moments ("I have no conscious memories of him"), but still writes as though they do. By writing about things you haven't seen or experienced yourself, it can come across as "made up" or inauthentic.

Personal Statement Example #7: Self-Determination

Some of the best essay topics are dealing with challenges you've faced, because difficulties make it easier to reflect upon what you've learned. Admissions officers ultimately are looking for self-growth, and showing how you've handled personal challenges can demonstrate your new understandings as a result. However, avoid talking about "tragedy" or difficulty without a clear purpose. Don't write about it because you think "you should," only write about challenges if they are true to yourself and you have something meaningful and unique to say about them. Otherwise, it can come off as trying to garner sympathy (i.e. "sob stories") which admissions officers generally dislike.

More convincing than telling admissions officers, is presenting them with "evidence" and allowing them to come to the conclusion themselves. If you want to show the idea "I couldn't learn due to this condition," it is far more effective to do what this student did and say, "I'd just finished learning complex trig identities, and I now couldn't even count to ten." When drafting, it is normal and okay to start off with more "telling" as you get your ideas on paper. But as your essay progresses, you should transform those moments of "telling" into more powerful and convincing moments of "showing."

Having meaningful reflections is a critical part of having compelling essays. But make sure your takeaways are not surface-level or generic. Each admissions officer has likely read thousands of essays, so they are well aware of the common ideas and tropes. Avoid cliché ideas at all costs, because it comes across as forgettable and unoriginal. Instead, it is okay to start with surface-level ideas, but keep asking yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" to push your ideas deeper.

This essay tells a nice story of overcoming their physical impediment, but ultimately lacks meaningful reflections in the conclusion. Too much time is spent on "the problem" and not enough on how they overcame it. Your conclusion should have your best, most compelling ideas in your entire essay. Try ending your essay by connecting to the beginning with a new perspective, expanding on your idea with a new takeaway, or connecting to broader, more universal themes. Avoid having a conclusion that "sounds nice," but ultimately is lacking in meaningful content.

Personal Statement Example #8: Game Design Music

This essay was admitted into Cornell University . It discusses a common conflict of ideology that comes with pursuing the arts. What the author does brilliantly is show how that conflict was reconciled, as well as how it changed their perspective.

My mom used to tell me this a lot. She’d always disapproved of my passion for the arts.

In this essay, the author does a fantastic job of showing how they are thoughtful in considering the perspectives of others, even though they may disagree. Showing that you can entertain ideas that you may disagree with is an admirable trait that admissions officers love to see, because intellectual discussion is all about trying to see other people's views. When writing about things that you may disagree with, try to play devil's advocate and see things from their point of view. Doing so will make you come off as thoughtful, understanding, and inquisitive, and it will strengthen your own viewpoint if you can identify arguments against it.

The best essays help admissions officers understand how you think about things. One strategy is to offer up questions to explore. These can be questions that arose during a particular moment or questions that you're reflecting upon right now. By using questions in your essay, you'll also present yourself as a thoughtful and curious thinker. Ultimately, you want to help the reader see things from your perspective by showing your thought process.

A good starting place for reflection can be in comparing and contrasting different topics. This could finding the similarities and differences in an extracurricular and an academic class, or any other number of things. By finding the similarities in things often thought of as "opposing," or finding the differences in things thought of as "similar," you can get to interesting ideas. Comparisons are useful because they force you to think from a different viewpoint. For example in this essay: How does "programming" relate to "song lyrics"?

This essay ends on a note that feels somewhat off-topic and not as interesting as their main idea. The conclusion leaves more to be wanted, as the reader ends up thinking: Are you simply seeking the approval of your parents? Or are you carving your own path in life? Or does the answer lie somewhere in between? Avoid ending your essay with a tangential idea. Instead, a strong conclusion is often closely related to the main point of your essay, but with a slight twist. By planning out your essay before writing, you can make sure that each point (from start to finish) connects the way you want it to and that your conclusion ends on a strong, well-connected note.

Personal Statement Example #9: Speech and Debate

I was still high off the competition, poring over ballots by the soft streetlights as we drove. “Are you sure you want to do this?” My Dad was worried about me. Worried about my world crashing down around me, losing friends, being crushed by hate. Scarred by controversy. I laughed it off, and we rode in silence.

Fast forward to my second or third year in the league. I wanted to have some fun. I emailed the regional coordinator, asking if there’s a rule against a speech advocating for same-sex marriage.

This essay has lots of interesting ideas about having discussions between people of different viewpoints. This student is able to reflect sincerely about what the benefit of that dialogue is ("iron sharpening iron") and able to draw meaningful conclusions ("hope lives in that laughter") that express deeper ideas. By focusing on these compelling reflections, this student shows themself as a brilliant and thoughtful thinker, while demonstrating what they value: discourse between opposing viewpoints. Rather than focusing on the literal happenings (i.e. giving a speech to their club), the student reflects on what that experience represents more broadly, which allows them to connect to deeper ideas.

This essay is full of details, without being wordy or drawn out. Even small details like naming the show "The Daily Show" or giving a number of "40,000+ theologies" makes their writing much more engaging and compelling. By avoiding broad and vague language, this student paints a fascinating picture that allows the reader to enter their world. It is always better to be specific than to be generic, but make sure that the specific details are always relevant to your point. This essay is a great example of how to do both.

This essay does a fantastic job of creating a "voice." That is, you can easily imagine the student as if they were speaking to you while reading it. To craft this voice, this student uses small moments of more informal language and interjecting remarks that show their thought process. Using parentheses can be a good way to show your voice by jumping in when you have a small remark to add. This student also demonstrates a sense of humor and lightheartedness while still discussing meaningful ideas. The sarcastic remark "because controversy has no place in a debate club!" demonstrates their values (of dialogue between differing viewpoints) as well as showing their sense of personality.

This essay's weakest point is its intro or "hook." In fact, it could work much better by excluding the introduction paragraph and starting off with the second paragraph: "Forgive the melodrama: this is a story..." That short phrase is much more captivating and immediately draws the reader in. The introduction paragraph in this essay is too much of a meandering and vague story: you don't know what they're talking about, and ultimately it doesn't matter. Rather than using a fancy story or descriptions to introduce your essay, try jumping into the "meat" of your essay immediately. Consider using a short, declarative sentence or phrase like "Forgive the melodrama" as a hook, which is more impactful and draws the reader immediately into your essay.

Personal Statement Example #10: Finding Answers

Common App Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (250-650 words)

My grandmother’s concern faded rather quickly as sirens fell distant and time passed.

After about 30 minutes, my grandfather’s friend ran toward the beach. My grandfather was not next to him. He was not there at all. At that moment, my grandma knew.

“Burt...he was with me...he slipped...he fell...I ran down the side of the mountain, off the trail, but I couldn’t find him. The park rangers are looking...” She stopped listening. She could see his lips moving, yet she heard nothing.

This essay repeats a lot of the same ideas or information, just using different words. Rather than "getting to the point," this repetition makes the essay feel meandering and like it is going nowhere ultimately. When drafting your essay, it is okay to have repetition (your drafts shouldn't be perfect, after all). But when editing, ask yourself with each sentence: does this add something new? Is this necessary to my main point? If not, you should exclude those sentences.

This essay starts off with a drawn-out story of the tragedy involving the author's grandfather. Most of this story is unnecessary, because all that really matters for this student's main idea is the fact that their grandfather passed away from a tragic accident. Details about his grandmother or his grandfather's best friend are unnecessary and distracting.

An important "rule" in college essays is to only write from your perspective. That is, don't describe things that you couldn't have seen or experienced. In this essay, the author spends a lot of time describing their grandfather's incident as if they was there to witness it. But we later learn that the author was not even alive at this point, so how could they be describing these things? On a smaller level, don't describe yourself from an outside perspective. For example, instead of, "I grimaced when I heard the news" (how did you see yourself grimace?) you could say, "I felt my stomach pang when I heard the news."

Your ideas are most valuable in your essays. Admissions officers want to see how you think, and having interesting ideas that are unique to you is how you demonstrate that you're thoughtful and insightful. Avoid surface-level ideas at all costs, as it comes off cliché. It is okay to start with more generic ideas, but you should always delve deeper. To get at deeper and more unique ideas, the key is to ask yourself questions. For example: Why is this the case? Why don't things work differently? What does this mean for other people? What does this represent? How can I apply this to other areas of life?

Personal Statement Example #11: Connecting with Others

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

It's important to create a "voice" in your personal statement, so that admissions officers can imagine your character and personality. Try to write as you would speak, but refined and polished. In this essay, natural-sounding phrases like "...let me admit, I was awful..." humanizes the author and makes the reader feel like they're being spoken to.

This essay is a perfect example of how effective essays don't need to have a super unusual story to be compelling. What makes this essay's story compelling is not necessarily the topic itself (meeting distant relatives), but instead how the student reflects and makes interesting connections to broader ideas. Even seemingly mundane experiences can make for meaningful personal statements topics.

This conclusion works well by connecting to the main story of the essay. However, certain phrases like "As a global citizen" and "I am hoping to forge relationships" are potentially too generic. Instead, try taking your main idea (in this case forming connections with others) and broaden it or connect to more universal ideas.

Personal Statement Example #12: Summer Confidence

This essay has a heartfelt moment where the author connects deeply with a camper and feels a sense of genuine gratitude. By showing their newfound connection with a person they were mentoring, this creates a sense of humanity and also tells a lot about the author themself. By talking about other people in your life, you create a literary "foil" which in turn describes something about yourself. Showing how you interact with others can be telling into your character, such as showing your empathy, sense of humor, friendliness, or how you draw inspiration from others.

This essay does a good job of expressing vulnerability, specifically the author's fears about the future and "deteriorating friendships" after going to college. By being vulnerable, these moments feel more relatable to the reader. Showing your struggles (especially emotional ones) can also make your later "successes" feel more impactful when you show how you've overcame them or persist in face of those struggles. By recognizing your flaws or insecurities, you also show self-awareness, which is a positive trait because you need to be self-aware in order to improve the areas of yourself you want to fix.

Although this essay does reflect upon the lessons learned during their time at this camp, the takeaways are ultimately surface-level and not delved into. Rather than saying things like "I had more confidence," it would be more engaging to show how that confidence made an effect and what exactly that "confidence" meant. This essay touches upon some meaningful lessons, but ultimately they fall flat because the nuances of these lessons are glossed over. Phrases like "upon further consideration it no longer fills me with...apprehension" don't delve into the most interesting part: How and why did that fear go away? What changed about your perspective and why? Instead, these are explained away with "confidence and maturity," which are too broad of terms and feel meaningless because they are overused in essays.

In your personal statement, it is completely OK to reference people by their first name. Using names makes your essay more vivid and engaging, while showing a deeper connection that you have with others. Rather than saying "other people" or "one of the older campers," it would be more impactful to use their first name. There are some caveats, however. Don't use their name if you're showing them in a negative light (which you probably shouldn't do anyway) or if you're revealing something personal about them. If you are revealing something personal, you can substitute their name for another name, or ask them for their direct permission.

Personal Statement Example #13: First Impressions

It had a nice ring to it, but I wasn’t a fan. Unfortunately, that’s what I imagined everyone saw first, and first impressions stick.

A caveat of my surgery was that the hair would grow, then one-third would fall off. My scar will never be completely gone, but I no longer feel defined by it like I did in elementary school.

An effective hook doesn't need to be complicated. Often, the best hooks are simple, declarative sentences. By using a short sentence, you'll immediately draw the reader into your essay and create a point of emphasis. In general, avoid long and meandering sentences to start your essay, and save those for later in your essay. Clear and succinct phrasing is often the hallmark of a strong hook.

To convey your ideas more strongly, show them using concrete examples. In this essay, the author does a great job of that by not saying "classmates only saw me for my scar," but instead showing that idea through the memorable image of "I learned about my classmates through their lunchbox covers...they saw me as the boy with the scar." Using tangible imagery makes for a compelling way of expressing your ideas, as it allows the reader to come to the conclusions you want them to, without just "telling" them.

Avoid exaggerating or "fluffing up" experiences in your essays. Instead, be realistic and tell them for what they are. This essay does that perfectly by using phrases like "I didn't have a sudden epiphany about my scar." Avoid using phrases like "suddenly, I..." which are often overused and unrealistic. Most new understandings aren't acquired in one moment in particular, but are developed over time.

This essay touches on some compelling ideas, such as how people can distill down other people into their physical attributes or ailments. However, it would be even stronger to delve deeper into these reflections by asking further questions: Why do we gravitate towards "categorizing" people based on surface-level attributes? What is the impact of only be acknowledged for surface-level characteristics by others, but knowing that you have much more depth to your character? This essay has some meaningful ideas, but other ideas such as "I can be whatever I want to be" feel surface-level and somewhat generic.

Personal Statement Example #14: Law Career

One great way to have interesting ideas is to show things that you find fascinating that other people may find boring. This essay describes how a judge mandating "reprimands for speeding tickets might be dull for some," but how they find it interesting. Everything, even the seemingly mundane, has interesting aspects if you're willing to look closely enough. When brainstorming, ask yourself: what do I find fascinating that others find boring? What do I think is "fun" while others may think it is "hard" or boring? By following these threads, you can often find unique and compelling ideas that allow you to bring the reader into your world and show them how you see the world uniquely.

A common trap when writing a personal statement is to use a descriptive, fiction-like story to start your essay. Although this may sound like a good idea, it is often ineffective because it buries what is most interesting (your ideas and reflections) and can easily be long and drawn out. Short, concise stories with a focus can be effective introductions, but in general avoid overly descriptive storytelling to start your essay. Also, avoid describing things that aren't critical to your main point. There is little to no benefit in describing things like "I smoothed my skirt and rose slowly from the chair." Focus on why your stories matter, rather than telling stories in a descriptive manner.

This essay does have some reflections, particularly about how the author discovered their passion for law by joining the Youth Court. However, most of these ideas end there, and there aren't any deep, unique ideas. The closest the author comes to having a unique and compelling idea is the final sentence where they write "the value of prioritizing the common good above individual success." This could be a fascinating topic to explore, but ultimately is cut short because it is tagged onto the ending. Your focus when brainstorming and drafting should be to have specific and original ideas—ideas that are not generic, not cliché, and not surface-level. To get to those ideas, ask yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" over and over.

Personal Statement Example #15: Growing Up Asian

Personal statement example #16: secrets of riddles.

Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)

As I was going to St. Ives, Upon the road I met seven wives; Every wife had seven sacks, Every sack had seven cats: Cats, sacks, and wives, How many were going to St. Ives?

The riddles of life were not as straightforward as the puzzles in my books and websites. In fact, they were not straightforward at all, like winding mazes of philosophical quandary.

One of the most thought-provoking subjects that preoccupies my mind regards the existence of aliens. Initially, my mind was settled on the possibility of intelligent life. A universe so big could not possibly be lifeless.

As for the solution to the riddle at the start:

How many were going to St. Ives?

This essay does well by having a unique central topic—riddles—which allows the author to draw out interesting ideas related to this theme. Your topic doesn't necessarily need to be profound or hugely significant, because this author shows how you can take a seemingly unimportant topic and use it to make meaningful connections. In this essay, riddles grow to represent something greater than the activity itself, which is something you can do with almost any topic.

One of the most effective ways to "show, not tell" is to use specific and tangible examples. This essay does a great job of exemplifying their ideas. Rather than just saying "I enthralled my friends with questions," the author also shows this: "Over peanut butter and sliced ham, I assumed the role of story teller..." Examples are always more convincing because they are proof, and allow the reader to interpret for themselves. Don't tell the reader what you want them to think. Instead, set up moments that guide the reader to come to those conclusions themselves.

This conclusion connects back to the beginning, which is generally a good idea as it creates a cohesive structure. However, this ending doesn't quite make sense in the context of the riddle. Rather than creating new meaning, it comes off as arbitrary and contrived. Make sure your conclusion isn't creative just for creative-sake, and instead also has significant meaning attached to it.

Personal Statement Example #17: Rubik's Cube

Personal statement example #18: narrative diversity.

If your cultural background or identity is an important part of who you are, then writing about it can make for a compelling essay. Often times in college admissions, Asian-Americans in particular are advised to "hide" their ethnic background, because it can be perceived to hurt their application. This student embraces their Asian heritage by recognizing ways in which they faced societal barriers. As this essay shows, regardless of your identity, there are unique aspects you can delve into that can make for compelling topics.

This essay does a great job of reflecting upon previously held beliefs, such as "I unconsciously succumbed to the 'reserve and quiet' Asian stereotype," and challenging them. Questioning your beliefs and where they came from can often be a good starting point for interesting reflection. Showing your new perspectives over time also conveys self-growth. Ask yourself: what did I once believe (in regards to myself, an activity, other people, etc.), what do I believe now, and how has this changed?

Rather than starting off with an activity and then reflecting upon it, this student takes a different approach. By introducing an interesting idea (the representation of underrepresented groups in media) and then later connecting to their activities, it makes the incorporation of those extracurriculars seem more appropriate and natural. The last thing you want to do is list your activities plainly, but it's still important to reference them. One strategy to naturally talk about your activities and accomplishments is to attach them to interesting ideas, as this essay shows.

Personal Statement Example #19: Search for Dreams

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

The diamond leaves of gnarled oak trees throw spectrums of color onto mounds of frosty snow that gleam melancholily under the moonlight. The leaves chime as wind violently rustles them in a haunting melody. I splinter a leaf off its branch and inspect the shard of my illusion, eyes dancing with amusement.

As I dwell in my worries, a cold hand reaches from behind me and taps my shoulder.

I jerk away, fear bubbling in my amygdala as I look into the nonexistent eyes of my intruding visitor.

The moon illuminates a blob of pink squish as it draws back slowly, points its spindly hands towards my drink and asks: “Could I have some of that?”

The blob wipes its invisible mouth with its nonexistent sleeve. I ask: “What are you?”

The blob tells me to stop looking at it so suspiciously. “I can prove it,” It says. I tell it, please, go ahead.

Suddenly we are back in the glowing forest. “Diamonds? Pah!” The blob dismisses them. Instantly, the leaves turn solid gold, the snow melts, and the wintry world is thrown into a blistering summer.

The blob laughs heartlessly. “Your cortex is under my control,” it says smugly.

“I heard you had a question for me?” It taps its invisible ears knowingly.

The blob wriggles its invisible brows as it waits.

It smiles that wicked smile. It laughs that sinful laugh. Then that insufferable blob wakes me up.

As I sit up in the dark and rub my bleary eyes, I am vaguely aware of the deep­set unfulfillment settling itself inside me. I yawn and plop back into bed, the soft red glow of my alarm clock indicating that it is still before midnight.

One thing is for sure about this essay: it has a unique idea that has surely not been written before. Regardless of your topic, you want your essay to be unique in some way, even if it isn't as fantastical as this essay. You can use a unique structure, such as having central symbolism, metaphor, or being structured as a recipe, for example. But this can easily become "gimmicky" if it doesn't have a clear purpose. In general, the most effective way to have a unique essay is to focus on having deep and unique ideas and reflections. By focusing on interesting takeaways and connections that are ultra-specific to you and your experiences, your essay will standout regardless of the structure.

This essay uses a lot of fiction-like writing that is fantastical and "flowery." Although moments of this kind of writing can make your essay more vivid, it is quite easy to end up with dense storytelling and descriptions that ultimately don't share anything interesting about you. The purpose of your essay is ultimately to learn about you: your values, your ideas, your identity, etc. By using dense story-like writing, it can be easy to lose focus of what admissions officers are looking for. In general, avoid writing "fancy" stories like this essay, unless you have a clear and distinct purpose for doing so. Everything in your essay should have a purpose in "going somewhere" (i.e. reaching interesting ideas and takeaways).

This essay is definitely creative, but lacks meaningful takeaways and ideas. By the end of the essay, we don't know much about the author besides the fact that they have an affinity for creative writing and are "on a search." Although the content is unique, the end result comes off as quite generic and surface-level because no interesting thoughts are explored deeply. The most interesting part of this essay is "I open my mouth and ask it my most crucial question," but this is super unsatisfying because the question is never divulged. Instead, the reader is teased by this fantasy story and the essay goes nowhere meaningful, which comes off as gimmicky and "creative for creative's sake," rather than deeply personal and interesting.

This essay ends on the idea of "continuing my search," but for what exactly? It is never explained, elaborated, or even implied (besides one reference to painting earlier). That makes this conclusion comes off as somewhat surface-level and uninteresting. Admissions officers won't care about "your search" unless they have a reason to care. That is, unless it tells something specific about you. On it's own, this idea of "exploring" and "searching" is meaningless because it is too broad and unelaborated.

Personal Statement Example #20: Recipe for Success

Step 1: Collect the ingredients

Step 2: Marinate the meat

Step 3: Wrap the dumplings

Step 4: Boil or pan-fry?

Step 5: Share and enjoy!

This essay has a clearly unique format in that it is structured as a dumpling recipe. By walking the reader through each step of dumpling-making, the student is able to explore various ideas and use the dumpling process as a metaphor for their own self-discovery. Having a creative structure like this can be beneficial, so long as you also have compelling ideas and the structure isn't unique just for the sake of being unique.

This whole essay is one big metaphor: the student compares their self-growth to the process of making dumplings. In doing so, the student introduces their heritage, while also having a creative literary device that they can use to explore various topics. By having a "central theme" such as this essay does, it makes it easier to explore a variety of ideas and activities, without seeming like you're listing them.

Struggles are one of the most defining aspects of self-development, and admissions officers are interested to see how you have overcome challenges. These difficulties don't need to be extreme tragedies or insurmountable obstacles, but everyone has faced difficulties. By reflecting upon those difficulties, you can draw out interesting ideas, showcase vulnerability, and express your personality.

What You Can Learn From These Personal Statement Examples

With these 20 Personal Statement examples, you can get inspired and improve your own essays. If you want to get accepted into selective colleges this year, your essays need to make you stand out.

These 20 examples show how real students got into highly selective schools and teach us several lessons for writing your own successful Personal Statement essay:

  • Write a compelling first sentence that grabs the reader
  • Be specific and reference things by name
  • Tell a meaningful story
  • Reflect on your life and identity. Be self-aware.

If you enjoyed these personal statement examples, check out some of our top Common App Essays , which are also personal statements essays, but for the Common Application.

Which of these personal statement examples was your favorite?

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People love to ask why. Why do you wear a turban? Why do you have long hair? Why are you playing a guitar with only 3 strings and watching TV at 3 A.M.—where did you get that cat? Why won’t you go back to your country, you terrorist? My answer is... uncomfortable. Many truths of the world are uncomfortable...

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Her baking is not confined to an amalgamation of sugar, butter, and flour. It's an outstretched hand, an open invitation, a makeshift bridge thrown across the divides of age and culture. Thanks to Buni, the reason I bake has evolved. What started as stress relief is now a lifeline to my heritage, a language that allows me to communicate with my family in ways my tongue cannot. By rolling dough for saratele and crushing walnuts for cornulete, my baking speaks more fluently to my Romanian heritage than my broken Romanian ever could....

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How to Write a Personal Statement (with Tips and Examples)

Hannah Yang headshot

Hannah Yang

How to write a personal statement

Table of Contents

What is a personal statement, 6 tips on how to write a personal statement, personal statement examples (for college and university), faqs about writing personal statements, conclusion on how to write a personal statement.

How do you tell someone who you are in just a few hundred words?

It’s certainly no easy task, but it’s one almost every college applicant must do. The personal statement is a crucial part of any college or university application.

So, how do you write a compelling personal statement?

In this article, we’ll give you all the tools, tips, and examples you need to write an effective personal statement.

A personal statement is a short essay that reveals something important about who you are. It can talk about your background, your interests, your values, your goals in life, or all of the above.

Personal statements are required by many college admission offices and scholarship selection committees. They’re a key part of your application, alongside your academic transcript, standardized test scores, and extracurricular activities.

The reason application committees ask you to write a personal statement is so they can get to know who you are. 

Some personal statements have specific prompts, such as “Discuss a period of personal growth in your life” or “Tell us about a challenge or failure you’ve faced.” Others are more open-ended with prompts that essentially boil down to “Tell us about yourself.”

No matter what the prompt is, your goal is the same: to make yourself stand out to the selection committee as a strong candidate for their program.

Here are some things a personal statement can be:

It can be funny. If you have a great sense of humor, your personal statement is a great place to let that shine.  

It can be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to open up about hardships in your life or failures you’ve experienced. Showing vulnerability can make you sound more like a real person rather than just a collection of application materials.  

It can be creative. Candidates have got into top schools with personal statements that take the form of “a day in the life” descriptions, third-person short stories, and even cooking recipes.

Now we’ve talked about what a personal statement is, let’s quickly look at what a personal statement isn’t:

It isn’t a formal academic paper. You should write the personal statement in your natural voice, using first-person pronouns like “I” and “me,” not in the formal, objective language you would use to write an academic paper.

It isn’t a five-paragraph essay. You should use as many paragraphs as you need to tell your story instead of sticking to the essay structure you learned in school.

It isn’t a resumé. You should try to describe yourself by telling a clear and cohesive story rather than providing a jumbled list of all of your accomplishments and ambitions.

personal statement definition

Here are our top six tips for writing a strong personal statement.

Tip 1: Do Some Serious Self-Reflection

The hardest part of writing a personal statement isn’t the actual process of writing it.

Before you start typing, you have to figure out what to write about. And that means taking some time to reflect on who you are and what’s important in your life.

Here are some useful questions you can use to start your self-reflection. You can either answer these on your own by writing down your answers, or you can ask a trusted friend to listen as you talk about them together.

What were the key moments that shaped your life? (e.g. an important friendship, a travel experience, an illness or injury)

What are you proud of? (e.g. you’re a good listener, you always keep your promises, you’re a talented musician)

How do you choose to spend your time? (e.g. reading, practicing soccer, spending time with your friends)

What inspires you? (e.g. your grandmother, a celebrity, your favorite song)

Doing this self-reflection is crucial for figuring out the perfect topics and anecdotes you can use to describe who you are.

Tip 2: Try to Avoid Cliché Topics

College application committees read thousands of personal statements a year. That means there are some personal statement topics they see over and over again.

Here are a few examples of common personal statement topics that have become cliché:

Winning a tournament or sports game

Volunteering in a foreign country

Moving to a new home

Becoming an older sibling

Being an immigrant or having immigrant parents

If you want to make a strong impression in the application process, you need to make your personal statement stand out from the crowd.

But if your chosen personal statement topic falls into one of these categories, that doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t use it. Just make sure to put a unique spin on it so it still delivers something the committee hasn’t seen before.

examples of success profiles personal statement

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Tip 3: Show, Don’t Tell

One common mistake you might make in your personal statement is to simply tell the reader what you want them to know about you, such as by stating “I have a fear of public speaking” or “I love to cook.”

Instead of simply stating these facts, you should show the committee what you’re talking about through a story or scene, which will make your essay much more immersive and memorable.

For example, let’s say you want the committee to know you overcame your fear of public speaking. Instead of writing “I overcame my fear of public speaking,” show them what it was like to be onstage in front of a microphone. Did your palms get clammy? Did you feel light-headed? Did you forget your words?

Or let’s say you want the committee to know you love to cook. Instead of writing “I love to cook,” show them why you love to cook. What’s your favorite dish to cook? What does the air smell like when you’re cooking it? What kitchen appliances do you use to make it?

Tip 4: Connect the Story to Why You’re Applying

Don’t forget that the purpose of your personal statement isn’t simply to tell the admissions committee who you are. That’s an important part of it, of course, but your ultimate goal is to convince them to choose you as a candidate.

That means it’s important to tie your personal story to your reasons for applying to this specific school or scholarship. Finish your essay with a strong thesis.

For example, if your story is about overcoming your fear of public speaking, you might connect that story to your ambition of becoming a politician. You can then tie that to your application by saying, “I want to apply to this school because of its fantastic politics program, which will give me a perfect opportunity to use my voice.”

Tip 5: Write in Your Own Voice

The personal statement isn’t supposed to be written in a formal tone. That’s why they’re called “personal” statements because you have to shape it to fit your own voice and style.

Don’t use complicated or overwrought language. You don’t need to fill your essay with semicolons and big words, unless that’s how you sound in real life.

One way to write in your own voice is by speaking your personal statement out loud. If it doesn’t feel natural, it may need changing. 

Tip 6: Edit, Edit, Edit!

It’s important to revise your personal statement multiple times in order to make sure it’s as close to perfect as possible.

A single typo won’t kill your application, but if your personal statement contains multiple spelling errors or egregious grammar mistakes, you won’t be putting your best foot forward.

ProWritingAid can help you make sure your personal statement is as clean as possible. In addition to catching your grammar errors, typos, and punctuation mistakes, it will also help you improve weaknesses in your writing, such as passive voice, unnecessary repetition, and more.

Let’s look at some of the best personal statements that have worked for successful candidates in the real world. 

Harvard Personal Statement Example

Love. For a word describing such a powerful emotion, it is always in the air. The word “love” has become so pervasive in everyday conversation that it hardly retains its roots in blazing passion and deep adoration. In fact, the word is thrown about so much that it becomes difficult to believe society isn’t just one huge, smitten party, with everyone holding hands and singing “Kumbaya.” In films, it’s the teenage boy’s grudging response to a doting mother. At school, it’s a habitual farewell between friends. But in my Chinese home, it’s never uttered. Watching my grandmother lie unconscious on the hospital bed, waiting for her body to shut down, was excruciatingly painful. Her final quavering breaths formed a discordant rhythm with the steady beep of hospital equipment and the unsympathetic tapping hands of the clock. That evening, I whispered—into unhearing ears—the first, and only, “I love you” I ever said to her, my rankling guilt haunting me relentlessly for weeks after her passing. My warm confession seemed anticlimactic, met with only the coldness of my surroundings—the blank room, impassive doctors, and empty silence. I struggled to understand why the “love” that so easily rolled off my tongue when bantering with friends dissipated from my vocabulary when I spoke to my family. Do Chinese people simply love less than Americans do?

This is an excerpt from a personal statement that got the applicant admitted to Harvard University. The applicant discusses her background as a Chinese-American by musing on the word “love” and what that means within her family.

The writer uses vulnerable details about her relationship with her grandmother to give the reader an understanding of where she comes from and how her family has shaped her.  

You can read the full personal statement on the Harvard Crimson website.

Tufts Personal Statement Example

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry’s “Cars and Trucks and Things That Go,” and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon. Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration. Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear. I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

This is the beginning of a personal statement by Renner Kwittken, who was admitted into Tufts University as a pre-medical student.

Renner uses a humorous anecdote about being a pickle truck driver to describe his love for nanomedicine and how he got involved in his field. You can feel his passion for medicine throughout his personal statement.

You can find Renner’s full essay on the Tufts Admissions page.

Law School Personal Statement Essay Example

For most people, the slap on the face that turns their life around is figurative. Mine was literal. Actually, it was a punch delivered by a drill sergeant at Fort Dix, New Jersey, while I was in basic training. That day’s activity, just a few weeks into the program, included instruction in “low-crawling,” a sensible method of moving from one place to another on a battlefield. I felt rather clever for having discovered that, by looking right rather than down, I eliminated my helmet’s unfortunate tendency to dig into the ground and slow my progress. I could thus advance more easily, but I also exposed my unprotected face to hostile fire. Drill sergeants are typically very good at detecting this type of laziness, and mine was an excellent drill sergeant. So, after his repeated suggestions that I correct my performance went unheeded, he drove home his point with a fist to my face. We were both stunned. This was, after all, the New Army, and striking a trainee was a career-ending move for a drill sergeant, as we were both aware. I could have reported him; arguably, I should have. I didn’t. It didn’t seem right for this good sergeant, who had not slept for almost four days, to lose his career for losing his temper with my laziness. Choosing not to report him was the first decision I remember making that made me proud.

These are the first three paragraphs of an anonymous personal statement by a Wheaton College graduate, who used this personal statement to get into a top-25 law school.

This statement describes a time the applicant faced a challenging decision while in the army. He ended up making a decision he was proud of, and as a result, the personal statement gives us a sense of his character.

You can find the full essay on the Wheaton Academics website.

Here are some common questions about how to write a personal statement.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

The length of your personal statement depends on the specific program you’re applying to. The application guidelines usually specify a maximum word count or an ideal word count.  

Most personal statements are between 500–800 words. That’s a good general range to aim for if you don’t have more specific guidelines.  

Should Personal Statements Be Different for Scholarships?

Many scholarship applications will ask for personal statements with similar prompts to those of college applications.

However, the purpose of a personal statement you’d write for a scholarship application is different from the purpose of one you’d write for a college application.

For a scholarship application, your goal is to showcase why you deserve the scholarship. To do that, you need to understand the mission of the organization offering that scholarship.

For example, some scholarships are meant to help first-generation college students get their degree, while others are meant to help women break into STEM.

Consider the following questions:

Why is this organization offering scholarships?

What would their ideal scholarship candidate look like?

How do your experiences and goals overlap with those of their ideal scholarship candidate?

You can use the same personal anecdotes you’d use for any other personal statement, but you’ll have a better chance of winning the scholarship if you tailor your essay to match their specific mission.

How to Start a Personal Statement

You should start your personal statement with a “hook” that pulls the reader in. The sooner you catch the reader’s attention, the more likely they’ll want to read the entire essay.

Here are some examples of hooks you can use:

A story (e.g. When the spotlight hit my face, I tried to remind myself to breathe. )

A setting description (e.g. My bedroom floor is covered with dirty laundry, candy wrappers, and crumpled sheet music. )

A funny anecdote (e.g. When I was a little kid, my friends nicknamed me Mowgli because of my haircut. )

A surprising fact (e.g. I've lived in 37 countries .)

There you have it—our complete guide to writing a personal statement that will make you stand out to the application committee.

Here’s a quick recap: 

A personal statement is a short essay that shows an application committee who you are

Start with a strong hook that pulls the reader in

Tell a story to engage the reader 

Write in your own voice, not in a formal tone

Good luck, and happy writing!

Hannah is a speculative fiction writer who loves all things strange and surreal. She holds a BA from Yale University and lives in Colorado. When she’s not busy writing, you can find her painting watercolors, playing her ukulele, or hiking in the Rockies. Follow her work on hannahyang.com or on Twitter at @hannahxyang.

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examples of success profiles personal statement

Civil Service Success Profiles

The Civil Service recruits using a skills, abilities and experience framework called Success Profiles. For each job, we consider what you need to demonstrate to perform successfully in the job. This gives us the best possible chance of finding the right person for the job and gives you an opportunity to demonstrate what you can bring to it.

examples of success profiles personal statement

Success Profiles video

This video tells you what you'll need to provide throughout the assessment process with supporting guidance on each step.

examples of success profiles personal statement

For some jobs you will be asked to provide a CV (curriculum vitae) as part of your application. Here you can find information on how to write the best CV.

examples of success profiles personal statement

How to write your personal statement

For some jobs you will be asked to provide a personal statement or statement of suitability. Here you can find information on how to show yourself in the best light.

examples of success profiles personal statement

The Civil Service Behaviours are one element of the Success Profile. These are the things that people do that result in effective performance. Read more about why we use Behaviours to assess you here.

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What to expect next

The recruitment process, and what evidence is asked for, varies depending on the job you are applying for. Here you can read about different stages of recruitment.

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Understanding Civil Service Behaviours – Complete Guide to Application Success

examples of success profiles personal statement

When I applied for my very first job nearly 30 years ago it was an incredibly simple process. I called the number on the job advert and had an interview booked for that week.

The interview itself was straight forward. I was asked: What qualifications I had (and what qualifications am I in the process of attaining), What experience do I have (I had none!), What were my goals, What were my interests and finally, When can I start.

That was it. Total time investment 30 minutes.

Since then though the recruitment process has gotten steadily more and more complex – even for entry level roles!

Now when you are on the job hunt you need to have your CV, your cover letter , your personal statement, your S.T.A.R examples, your professional references, your personal references, your social media presence – all of these things.

And if you are applying ‘wide’ (i.e. not to any specific employer) you’ve got to learn all the different frameworks, values, culture fit or whatever the organisation has decided to call it.

Maybe I’m old but it does all seem exhausting. 

But that is how things are in the job market today. The only thing we can do is research the organisation we want to work for; learn how they operate, learn what it is they are looking for and then put our best foot forward.

If you are reading this then you are interested in applying for a job with the Civil Service – either that or you are lost!

The Civil Service – like I touched on before – have their own way of evaluating candidates. What they use to make recruitment decisions is something they have named ‘Success Profiles’ and a large part of these profiles are called the ‘Civil Service Behaviours’. These are behaviours which all applicants will be assessed against. 

And it is these Behaviours that we are going to look into today.

  • 1 What are ‘Success Profiles’?
  • 2.1 How are Behaviours assessed
  • 2.2 Behaviour 250 Word Statement Example
  • 3 Behaviour Interview Question Examples
  • 4 Behaviour Application Tips
  • 5 The 9 Behaviours
  • 6.1 Where can I learn more about Success Profiles and Behaviours

What are ‘Success Profiles’?

Before we dive into the Behaviours it’s probably best to look at the wider context. The Civil Service moved away from pure competency based processes and into these “Success Profiles” just a few years ago. Let’s hear why straight from the horse’s mouth:

The Success Profile Framework moves recruitment away from using a purely competency based system of assessment. It introduces a more flexible framework which assesses candidates against a range of elements using a variety of selection methods. This will give the best possible chance of finding the right person for the job, driving up performance and improving diversity and inclusivity. https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/717279/Success_Profiles_Overview_2018.pdf

So what makes up this new “Success Profile”?

examples of success profiles personal statement

Success Profiles as you can see from the above image encompass 5 key areas that all candidates are judged against:

Ability – Probably somewhat obvious. Are you capable of doing what the job asks you to do? This is usually a binary measurement. Straight up or down, yes or no, can the candidate do the job or not.

Experience – Have you done this before or are you new to the job? This particular element will vary in how it is assessed based on the role. The higher up the role the more experience they will expect you to have. Fresh graduates – not so much experience required, Senior Project Managers – lots of experience required. 

Technical – Certain fields will require some level of technical knowledge. How are you going to prove that you possess this knowledge? Do you hold industry standard qualifications? can you evidence your technical knowledge through your career history? If called upon in an interview can you explain in depth your field and the field the job relates to? (this element is particularly relevant in Science fields, Engineering, IT Development)

Strengths – This element is based on the theory that doing something regularly means we are better at it. So be prepared for questions like “What does your average day look like”, “What do you like to do in your spare time”, things like that. Your interviewer is trying to see how often you perform certain activities to see if you have “Strengths” as they define it. Learn more about Civil Service Strengths

Behaviours – What we are here to discuss. I always compare Behaviours to personality traits. They look at the type of person we are and how that drives the actions we take, and whether we have the specific traits required for the job. There are 9 behaviours that are assessed within the framework. But don’t worry unless you are going for a very very senior role you are unlikely to be assessed on more than 3 or 4.

So let’s take a deeper dive into behaviours.

What are ‘Behaviours’?

For this let’s hear straight from the Civil Service’s own guidance again:

Behaviours are the actions and activities that people do which result in effective performance in a job. The Civil Service has defined a set of behaviours that, when demonstrated, are associated with job success. Civil Service Behaviours are specific to the grade level of the job role. It is important to remember that recruiting managers will choose a selection of behaviours which are best suited to the specific job role. You will not be asked to demonstrate all Civil Service Behaviours for one role. The examples of the behaviours are designed to give an overview of what is expected of individuals at each level. There is no expectation that all individuals will need to demonstrate every part of each example to be successful. https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/717275/CS_Behaviours_2018.pdf

How are Behaviours assessed

You can – and will – be assessed against the behaviours during every interaction you have with the organisation. You will however only be assessed against the behaviours that are outlined within the job advert. So always make sure you are fully aware which behaviours are relevant for the job you are applying for.

Here are the various ways you might be assessed:

examples of success profiles personal statement

I would call out that in all likelihood you will not take part in all of these activities. The most common activities you will see during your recruitment are: The application form (including a personal statement and multiple 250 word behaviour example statements), CV (redacted of personal information), the interview and any judgement tests you are required to take during the application.

Behaviour 250 Word Statement Example

Behaviour Interview Question Examples

Don’t expect any simple one word answer questions when you go into a behaviours interview. The questions you will get will all be designed to allow you to elaborate on your experience. A lot of “Tell me about a time…”, “Have you ever…”, “What happened when you…” type questions. Below are some of the questions that I have personally seen in be asked in a Civil Service Interview . 

Remember each behaviour will have its own set of questions; the key is to practice as many questions as you can for the specific behaviours you are being assessed on (which you should know from the job advert)

Tell me about a time when you have challenged the usual way of doing things to make things easier for the customer or for fellow colleagues? ( Changing and Improving Example)  

Tell me about a time when you needed to communicate bad news to a colleague or stakeholder ? ( Communicating and Influencing Example)

Tell me about a time when you were late delivering a piece of work? ( Delivering at Pace Example)

Tell me about a new skill or qualification you have learned over the last 6 months ? How did you choose that particular skill/qualification to learn and how have you used your new knowledge? ( Developing Self and Others Example)

Tell me about a time when you had to convince others to put in ‘the hard work’? ( Leadership Example)

Tell me about a time when your organisation didn’t go with the decision you made? Did you agree with their ultimate decision and what did you learn from this experience? ( Making Effective Decisions Example)

How do you identify customer needs when the customer is unsure on what it is they require? ( Managing a Quality Service Example)

How do you ensure that you have considered all stakeholder needs when undertaking a new initiative ? ( Seeing the Big Picture Example)

How would you deal with a senior member of staff who wants a junior colleague to shadow you, when you know that doing so will slow down your work? ( Working Together Example)

Behaviour Application Tips

We’ve talked a lot about the framework and about the process. We’ve looked at personal statement examples and we’ve had a look at some example interview questions. But what else can you do to put yourself ahead of all the other candidates:

1 – Use the S.T.A.R. system

2 – Remember that the recruitment team does not know you. You are a stranger to them. When you are telling them about your experience make sure you give a full account of your activities and that you provide any context that is required.

3 – Run your statements through a spell AND grammar check. Normally I am fine with spelling or grammar mistakes in a professional setting (I am sure there are a number on this site), but when applying for jobs there can be no errors. You will not believe the number of applications that are sent in where the applicant is touting an “Excellent Attention to Detail” and their statements are riddled with errors.

4 – Continuous Improvement is the hot item at the moment. It’s not enough to just be good at the job. You need to evidence that you are always looking for ways to improve. Improve yourself, improve the processes you work, improve your team and improve the organisation as a whole.

The 9 Behaviours

Here are the 9 Civil Service Behaviours along with a quick description of each. There is a lot more information to tell about each behaviour so if you need to know more about any specific behaviour then click the link within the description for a full breakdown of that behaviour.

Seeing the Big Picture – Assessing the candidates ability to understand how their actions impact other people/teams and the wider organisation. Learn more…

Making Effective Decisions – Assessing the candidates ability to source and then weigh up different options and recommend the best solution. Learn more…

Communicating and Influencing – Assessing the candidates ability to get their views across and get people on board with their way of thinking. Learn more…

Changing and Improving – Assessing the candidates ability to identify areas of improvement and assessing their motivation to implement these changes. Learn more…

Working Together – Assessing the candidates ability to work well with others. Learn more…

Developing Self and Others – Assessing the candidates drive for self-improvement via learning new skills and the impact this drive has on others. Learn more…

Managing a Quality Service – Assessing the candidates drive to produce high quality work and meet stakeholders needs. Learn more…

Delivering at Pace – Assessing the candidates ability to produce quality deliverables on time and within budget under limiting circumstances. Learn more…

Leadership – Assessing the candidates ability to lead a team and to motivate others. Learn more…

Where can I learn more about Success Profiles and Behaviours

You can read the Civil Service’s document on Success Profiles here , and their document on Behaviours here .

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How to get promoted: what the government’s new success profiles mean for you

Richard Johnstone

By Richard Johnstone

15 Sep 2018

A wide-ranging change to how government recruits for roles is being introduced across government. Whitehall’s chief people officer Rupert McNeil and other experts speak to CSW about what the move to success profiles will mean

A fundamental  part of civil service ethos is that it recruits fairly and on merit. To do that, it needs to make sure it is using the best and most up-to-date techniques to recruit across government. The man charged with setting those recruitment rules across government is chief people officer Rupert McNeil. And, as he tells Civil Service World, it isn’t as straightforward a process as setting the rules for a single organisation. Government is “an organisation of organisations, or even an organisation of organisations of organisations,” he says. “But it does have common approaches and our aim in all of employment practices is to be a model employer.”

It is with this aim in mind that McNeil has led the introduction of a new recruitment system, called success profiles, that is set to revolutionise how people are hired and promoted across the civil service.

This new approach, which was first revealed by civil service chief executive John Manzoni in May, is being rolled out to replace the existing civil service competency framework throughout the rest of this year and early next.

Developing an alternative to competency-based recruitment was one of the actions set out in the 2016 Civil Service Workforce Plan, which committed government to move “to a more meaningful and business focused framework of assessment”, and McNeil says the success profiles approach has “been in the works for a couple of years”.

Elements of a success profile

Ability : the aptitude or potential to perform to the required standard. Experience : the knowledge or mastery of an activity or subject gained through involvement in or exposure to it. Technical : the demonstration of specific professional skills, knowledge or qualifications. Behaviours : actions and activities that people do that result in effective performance in a job. Nine are named for use in success profiles. Strengths : things done regularly and that provide motivation. The government has set out a civil service strengths dictionary of 36 key qualities for working in government or exposure to it.

In an interview to discuss the new plans, he highlights that the legal requirement on the civil service to recruit in a fair and open basis means it needed to keep up with what he calls “the science of selection and career development”.

One of the key ways that recruitment has changed in recent years is the drive to not only improve but support diversity at work, and McNeil says the success profiles reflect the increasing emphasis on encouraging employees to ‘bring their whole self to work’, because they allow for a much more-rounded view in recruitment.

“What we had observed, particularly from feedback from civil servants at all levels, from hiring managers and vacancy holders in the civil service to people sitting on panels was [that] the competency framework was narrowing the way in which people were being assessed,” he says. “We weren’t getting a sense of the full person or allowing people to show themselves at their best.”

The old system focused on assessing competencies while also taking into account previous experience. Success profiles will allow a wider range of factors to be used, covering five areas: ability, experience, strengths, technical and behaviours. Hiring managers will use a combination of these five elements to develop a profile for roles they are recruiting, McNeil says, introducing more flexibility. 

“We looked at what other organisations were doing, and we did a lot of work looking at the insights that have particularly come out of work on diversity and inclusion, and how to get a rounded view of the individual,” he says. “Success profiles improves the process for everybody because it makes it fairer and more effective. It also allows one to look at aspects of someone which they might have developed in another context, for example raising family or outside work, and apply those more readily.”

These elements will be assessed in a number of different ways from current applications, which are based on short statements setting out how candidates meet a set of requirements. Depending on the type of roles being applied for, success profile applications and assessments could include application forms and CVs, interviews and presentations, online tests and assessment centres.

Rollout of the system has already begun, with the Department for Education and HM Revenue and Customs among the early adopters.

Richard Hillsdon, former civil service psychologist who has been helping some departments prepare for the new system as a consultant and associate trainer with CSW’s parent company Dods, said there had been a positive response to the new system. There was a feeling in government it was time for a change, he said.

“Competencies tell you whether people can do the job, perhaps, but they didn’t tell us whether they really want to or what they bring in terms of passion and energy,” he said.

Success profiles also better reflect the development of professional functions across government, championed by civil service chief executive John Manzoni.

“I don’t think it’s a coincidence that this coincides with the maturing of the functional model and the professional model,” says McNeil. “It becomes easier to say for finance jobs or HR jobs or any job, that there is a technical skillset that the profession in the civil service can say, ‘this is what we think someone at this level doing this kind of job should be able to do.” 

"The old competency system had become too rigid and too formulaic,” agrees Hillsdon. “People trotted out examples from their hard drives. It was often quite dry and flat, it wasn’t really about them as such.”

As well as the new system better reflecting how government has changed, Hillsdon says it also better meets the expectations of candidates.

“The overriding reaction from candidates is that they like the idea of strengths,” he notes.

“They’ll say things like, ‘oh, I can talk about myself and that’s been missing’. The idea of having more elements in the selection is about moving away from the stultifying effect of competencies to something which is much more alive and different.”

Top tips for candidates

McNeil says a strengths interview will feel different for candidates than “a not-very-well-done competency interview, let’s put it that way”, but urges candidates to embrace “the chance to express your full self and give rich examples of what you’ve done”.

Candidates will be able to evidence their experience in a host of ways, he says, with these including CVs, which may be less common for civil servants who have previously been applying using competency statements.

Candidates will need to develop their CVs, says Hillsdon, who highlights that “atmospherically, the process will feel different because it’s got a large element about them in it – they are going to talk about themselves”.

He urges candidates to develop their CVs and personal statements using a wide range of experiences, behaviours and strengths to match the essential criteria in job adverts.

Recruitment under the competency framework was “relatively running on rails” for experienced candidates. “In the past, they’d write competency-based statements – delivering at pace, the bigger picture. and so on,” he said. Now, they will need “a still evidenced but narrative based personal statement, developed through the thinking they have put into their own CV”, he adds.

This approach will be more familiar to those from outside government. “Strengths is a much better way of interviewing new staff from the outside and new graduates because they don’t know what a competency statement is. But they can talk about their travels hacking through the Amazonian forest, for example.”

McNeil urges candidates not to get “hung up on CVs” “It is not about having a particular typed piece of paper – there are lots of different ways of demonstrating the previous experience, including references.”

However, he notes that the system represents a big shift for recruiters in government – “a change away from just a one-dimensional selection to a multidimensional one”.

“In the past, we [in government] have only been interested in: ‘Can you do the job?’. Not: ‘Will you bring energy and commitment, and what kind of culture do you want to work in?’ We haven’t been in that business, we are now.”

In some of the early experiments with the new system, it is the recruiters – and in particular, interview panel members – who were “more spooked” by the changes, Hillsdon says, explaining that recruiters felt they had lost a “reference point” and a well-trodden methodology.

“Competencies tell you whether people can do the job, but not whether they really want to or what they bring in terms of passion and energy” Richard Hillsdon

As a result, there is a risk, says Hillsdon, that departments could sour on the reform “if they find it introduces more angst through less transparency and consistency in the process”. As they will decide which elements of the success profiles to match to each role, this will be crucial to the success of the reforms.

“I think that the recruiters will do it. There is no reason why we wouldn’t want to do these things if properly trained. Whether they will want to create really elaborate assessments, I’m not sure they will and whether resources will allow.”

“Where the real effort needs to take place is in the implementation and deployment,” he says. “We need to be very clear with people about what it is and what its purpose is. It is about allowing an individual’s full self and contribution to be recognised in all dimensions.”

Candidates will be able to show their suitability in a wider range of ways, he says.

“Experiences as evidenced on your CV, references, qualifications, these are all being taken into account. They may be have previously been taken into account through the sift, but I think we’re now saying to line managers to take this rounded view.”

As a result, the civil service will “need to make sure that, as far as possible, hiring managers are skilful in using it,” McNeil acknowledges. In particular, it is important that the job specs genuinely reflect the role, encompassing the growing functional agenda.

“One of the most striking things to me in on development of success profiles was that when we looked at the standard role profile and shaded yellow all the bits that you can evidence through the competency framework and actually they were very few [areas shaded],” he notes.

“I think for the professions, this means you can start to look at creating a consistent view of the essential criteria for a job – and being very disciplined about that, recognising that there are some things that someone might definitely need for a particular job.”

Top tips for hiring managers

McNeil says that success profiles give recruiters a new way of thinking about all the dimensions of the job, which “places a lot of responsibility and trust in the hiring managers – which I think is a good thing”.

This is focused on two elements – ensuring they define their roles using the broader palette offered by success profiles and making sure their interview skills are up to scratch.

“We will be quite careful about things like training people in using strengths,” he said. “If I think about all the things that I’ve been trained in in my career, I still think the hardest training I’ve done is interview training. It is a learned skill that needs to be maintained. In thinking about things like unconscious bias, people need to be present and investing the effort in doing selection.

“It’s not a skill like learning to ride a bike where you can just get back on it after 20 years – it is more like maintaining your cardiovascular fitness.”

Such an approach also corresponds with best practice for diversity and inclusion, he adds. “You need to make sure that people involved in selection are being reminded of their biases and skills they need to be deploying, and that is where departments, functions and the civil service as a whole is putting its effort.”

McNeil acknowledges that the behaviours set out in success profiles could be seen as “competency framework 2.0” but insists it will be a “really good challenge” to ensure that reforms happen on the ground.

He highlights how success profiles may differ using the example of project management roles. “The success profile for an 18-year-old apprentice in project management versus a band A project leader is going to be quite different,” he said. “Your interests in the 18-year-old’s CV is about their intellectual potential and the evidence that they can demonstrate that they’ve got a certain mindset and strengths.

“You’d want all that in the project leader, but you also want to be sure that you know what they have been doing for the last 10 years in managing projects. That is something which wants to encourage hiring managers to think about, with guidance from their professional and function, about what that should look like.”

The new system will also enable civil servants to plan their career around the strengths and behaviours set out in the success profile.

McNeil says: “Success profiles are linked to jobs, but that doesn’t stop an individual looking at themselves and saying: what is my success profile? What can I match against the jobs that I’m interested in and what is the thing I need to develop to be able to do a particular type of job?

“These are the discussions people should be having with the line managers about what they want to do next. It’s an opportunity to say: ‘I’d like to have this particular piece of experience because in five years’ time I’d love to be doing this’.”

The structure of success profiles – 36 strengths mapped to the nine key behaviours – may eventually change how people are assessed once they are in roles too.

“It is something that, in due course, gives a frame which can be used to performance management to give a broader view – and particularly in terms of development discussions,” he says.

“As an example, we have base camps now for new directors and I can talk about what the civil service thinks a director looks like in terms of behaviours and the strengths they should be demonstrating. And in that we were talking about success profiles as a way of framing one’s own development. That’s a key part of it.”

Such a change would require discussion with trade unions, who have been positive about the development of success profiles so far.

“Success profiles are linked to jobs, but that doesn’t stop an individual looking at themselves and saying: what is my success profile?” Rupert McNeil

Neil Rider, the head of FDALearn and Keyskills at the FDA union said it was a positive development and would like to see the ‘behaviours’ aspect adopted as soon as possible, but added there are elements of the strengths that need to be addressed, particularly around equality and diversity. “We have been engaging CSEP and have had a very positive response, so we are hopeful that these concerns can be addressed ahead of the wider rollout next year.”

Dave Allen, negotiations officer from Prospect also “cautiously welcomed” the reforms as some people struggled to demonstrate their skills with the competency framework.

“We recognise [the new system] will require quite a culture change,” he added, “and it will need quite an educational piece to support that.”

The Cabinet Office has agreed a schedule with departments to roll out the new system in the months ahead in order to ensure that culture change can take place  – “we are in the beta stage”, says McNeil, who says that the feedback from HMRC and DfE is “really great”. What is really fantastic is that the feedback is good on all dimensions – from unsuccessful candidates and their sense of the experience, from people who have got jobs to the hiring managers and the people that are in the process.

He expects to know if the changes have had the desired effects in two to three years, and he wants as much feedback as he can get. “We need to monitor it in real time and it is very important that our trade union partners and individual civil servants give direct feedback about how their experience, because that will allow us to change it. Let me know personally. It would be great to know.”

  • Dods Training is helping departments prepare for success profiles. For more information email [email protected]

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HEO CS SUCCESS

  • Aug 15, 2021

How to Write Personal Statements

Updated: Dec 20, 2021

Personal Statements used to be entirely within the purview of EOIs, however, with the advent of Success Profiles, these are becoming much more common in substantive recruitments. The word count varies from 750 to 1250, don't feel daunted by this number though, we will walk through a basic model framework below.

You will be required to talk about your suitability for a role, against a handful of assessment criteria. These criteria will be found in the job specification and are loosely based on the Success Profile behaviours. The simplest thing to do is to insert your behaviour statements. Whilst this is the easiest way to produce statements, it lacks flare and doesn't take advantage of the looseness that personal statements provide versus the rigidity of simple 250 word behaviour statements.

Remember that the emphasis must be on evidence that you are capable of the behaviour, rather than assertions. These sorts of statements are better aimed at 'strength' based questions. There is a technique to giving really good evidence, see the behaviours page for more information.

Evidence

Pay attention for any 'Lead criteria' as they will be assessed first!

For 1250 words, with 4 criteria we might word it like this:

Introduction: 100 words

Criterion 1: 250 words

Criterion 2: 250 words

Criterion 3: 250 words

Criterion 4: 250 words

Conclusion:100 words

A final thought is to remember that what the marker is looking for is clear evidence that you are achieving at the right level. Making that clear is the best thing you can do to boost your mark.

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A guide to Success Profiles: what job applicants need to know

examples of success profiles personal statement

All you need to know about the commonly-used public services recruitment tool, and how it differs from others like Competency Frameworks

Success Profiles are a recruitment framework used within the UK civil service since 2019. They are the process by which an organisation identifies the key skills, knowledge, experience, behavioural competencies and personal attributes required for successful performance in a given role or a group of roles at a specific level, and is then used as the basis for recruitment process.

Success Profiles can help job seekers know what they are expected to demonstrate in the application process and gives selection panels greater clarity on what to expect from applicants. Success Profiles are not only used in the UK civil service. For example, a Leadership Success Profile is used in the New Zealand public service . Many organisations in the public and private sectors use Success Profiles in their recruitment, talent, training, and organisational development strategies.

The UK Civil Service Success Profiles guidance explains that it is designed to “enable a fairer and more inclusive method of recruitment by enabling us to assess the range of experiences, abilities, strengths, behaviours and technical/professional skills required for different roles. This flexible approach to recruitment focuses more on finding the right candidate for the specific role.”

Success Profiles are made up of five elements, explained in the guidance as (listed here in alphabetical order):

  • Ability – the aptitude or potential to perform to the required standard
  • Behaviours – the actions and activities that people do which result in effective performance in a job
  • Experience – the knowledge or mastery of an activity or subject gained through involvement in or exposure to it
  • Strengths – the things we do regularly, do well and that motivate us
  • Technical – the demonstration of specific professional skills, knowledge or qualifications.

Not all elements are relevant to every job, and the elements for a specific role will be tailored to it and the type of person needed. Applications, CVs and interviews are the key ways in which the elements are assessed, but the guidance lists many approaches that may also be used including assessment centres, presentations, judgement tests, written exercises etc.

The difference between Success Profiles and Competency Frameworks

Previously, UK civil service recruitment involved a competency-based approach to interviewing. This was based on the Civil Service Competency Framework which provided the framework for the questions that applicants were asked in an application and at interview. Answers needed to include examples of how you had demonstrated each competence in the past (from a current or past role). The answers that worked best would explain the situation (and the context that made what you did challenging), the task you were responsible for, the specific actions you took, and the results (the outcomes) that were achieved by your actions – the so-called STAR system.

Although the answers to such competency questions provided useful information, feedback from managers recruiting found that the approach under this system was too rigid. Because it focused only on past behaviour, it did not allow for a more rounded view of the person. Recruiters in the civil service became concerned that it resulted in a narrower range of candidates being selected than might have been achieved with a more flexible approach. It also raised concerns about diversity and inclusion outcomes. The civil service decided to move recruitment away from using a solely competency-based system of assessment and to introduce a more flexible framework which could assess candidates against a range of elements using a variety of selection methods. As well as making it more likely recruiters would select the best person for the role, Success Profiles were designed to better reflect the increasing development of professional functions (e.g. commercial and procurement, policy, project management and delivery etc – a full list of UK civil service professions is available here ) across government.

It is important to note that competencies are still a large part of the Success Profiles system, but they are now called Civil Service Behaviours (i.e. the behaviours element of Success Profiles). Civil service vacancies will usually mention four or five Success Profiles Behaviours that will be a core element of how applications are sifted for interviews. Sometimes, vacancy notices will specify that if there are a large number of applications then one of the Civil Service Behaviours (specified as a “lead behaviour” in the vacancy) will be used as the basis for the sift.

The Success Profiles Behaviours are:

  • Changing and Improving
  • Communicating and Influencing
  • Delivering at Pace
  • Developing Self and Others
  • Making Effective Decisions
  • Managing a Quality Service
  • Seeing the Big Picture
  • Working Together

Read more: Skills-based recruitment reforms postponed in US federal government

What job seekers need to know

The Success Profiles guidance gives a detailed explanation of what each behaviour involves at different civil service job grades and it is important that you study this carefully before writing your application. The application process is made more challenging by the word limit of as little as 250 words for each example that you provide for each one of the four or five behaviours specified in the vacancy advertisement. (You will not be asked to demonstrate all the Civil Service Behaviours for one role). Your CV might not be considered until after your answers demonstrating the behaviours have been scored. This means that you need to be able to articulate succinctly what you did, how you did it, and the outcome in your examples of the behaviours. It is not enough to simply state what you did – you need to show what was challenging about the task, how you rose to the challenge in your approach to it, and the impact that you made. You can use examples from different contexts to the civil service if they show the required behaviours and transferable skills.

Sometimes the selection panel may conduct an initial sift of applications via personal statement rather than the behaviours, though the behaviours will still form a key part of the assessment system after this sift.

If selected for interview, you can expect to be asked about some of the required behaviours in more detail. You might expand on the examples used on the written application, or use different examples to show the behaviours.

You will also be asked questions that demonstrate relevant “Strengths”. For example, you might be asked questions that explore your strength as an influencer, along the lines of “Can you tell me about a time when you implemented change, bringing your team on board?” Or “How do you inspire others?” in relation to being confident. Your answers are an opportunity to emphasise that you are a good fit for the specific role in terms of attitude, approach, and motivation. The guidance contains an A-Z list of specific Strengths that might be required and also shows which Strengths map across to which Civil Service Behaviours. It advises that “it is important to remember that there are no right or wrong answers to these questions. Do not rehearse your answers because we are looking for your initial response. The qualities required for the role will be described in the job description. The best way to prepare is to reflect on what you feel your personal strengths are and your preferred ways of working.”

Read more: Shifting pair bonds: Canada’s former public service chief shares his top tips for working with ministers

Planning your public service career

The Success Profiles framework can also help you in planning your career development – gaining the relevant experience that enables you to demonstrate the required abilities, behaviours and strengths, and technical expertise. If applying for a UK Civil Service job, you will need to reflect upon the guidance carefully and begin drafting examples for each behaviour emphasising the situation, the task required, the action you took, and the result (i.e. use the STAR framework). Wherever possible, seek to highlight the relevant abilities, expertise and strengths in what you write and say in interviews. Success in any job application, in any sector, will involve careful consideration of what the recruiters are looking for. Then you need to prepare the most impactful ways of demonstrating your ability, the required behaviours/competencies, relevant experience, your strengths (including your attitude and motivation) and any technical expertise required. Never assume your experience will speak for itself. It is not enough just to communicate your past actions, you will need to ensure you have emphasised how you approached challenges and the outcomes you have achieved as you delivered those actions. You need to promote yourself as the best person to rise to the challenge of what the job role entails. Above all, persistence pays. Keep on trying and seek whatever help is available to continuously improve all aspects of your applications.

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examples of success profiles personal statement

About Tony Cash

Tony Cash is an expert on policy, strategy and regulatory best practice. He is a former civil servant and his roles included Head of Strategy and Communications for the Joint Trade Policy Unit and Deputy Director of the Department for Business internal training team. In his role as a training consultant, he has trained people in policy-making best practice and better regulation across the UK and overseas (including Bermuda, British Virgin Islands, Cayman Islands, Dubai, Guernsey, Ireland, Kenya, Malta and South Africa). He has worked with many government organisations on impact assessment. He also provides training on many related subjects including change management, governance, leadership, parliamentary affairs, project management, public service reform, risk management and strategic management. He delivers training in a wide range of formats including online. Tony is also an organisation development expert (MSc OD) and holds qualifications in coaching (Certificate in Executive Coaching), training (CIPD Certificate in Training Practice), project management (PRINCE 2 Foundation and Practitioner) and Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

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The Top 10 Personal Success Statements Of All Time

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Home » Blog » PERSONAL GROWTH FOR SUCCESS » The Top 10 Personal Success Statements Of All Time

We had the privilege of listening into the Digital Lifestyle Blueprint webinar with Jay Kubassek this week.

What is the Digital Lifestyle Blueprint exactly? . . . In a nutshell, it provides the answers to ALL these searching questions:

  • Where did I come from?
  • Where am I going?
  • How am I going to get there?
  • Who's going to help me?
  • What if I can't make it?
  • How do I know if I'm on the right path?

digital lifestyle blueprint

Stop and contemplate those questions for a minute.

And consider the FACT, your current way of thinking has only got you to where you are today (ouch!).

We're not saying your current way of thinking is wrong – because – IT IS WHAT IT IS. It can't be changed, because it's history. You have to agree with that?

However . . .

To change your circumstances , and NOT ACCEPT the status quo any longer , it's fair to say you must CHANGE your thinking.

In order to have more time, more money, more freedom . . . . . . You need to change tack. You need a new strategy. You need to think differently!

Now we're not telling you this because we have all the answers for you – because we don't.

We're telling you this because, it's our first hand experience.

Back in 2009, when we were both laid off at the same time – we realised how stressed we were, how under-appreciated we were at work, how bored we were –  and that we couldn't go on living life like that.

Our A-ha! moment didn't happen in a moment. It wasn't an epiphany. It actually took about 3 months of realisation to work out there was a better way for us.

Our intention here is to plant the seed of hope for you . . .

To help you grow the realisation what you're doing right now is not entirely right for you , and your decision to change doesn't have to be made overnight, but it has to be carefully nurtured .

So to help you in that respect, to help fertilise your thought processes, we're sharing Jay's Top 10 Personal Logic Success Statements for you to peruse, ponder and percolate.

personal success statement

[1]  I THINK and ACT as if I am ALREADY SUCCESSFUL – It's too late to fail and I assume I'll succeed

We've talked about this already here

People think we’re “SUCCESSFUL” already . . . but, deep down inside, we’re not where we want to be . . . YET!

So we figured, if we ACT like we’re successful, sooner or later we’ll BE the success we want to be, and in the meantime, we’ll FEEL like we’re successful.

Seeing as these practices don’t cost anything, except discipline and time well spent, it’s pretty much a win-win, if you ask us.

[2]  I am limited by nothing more than the KNOWLEDGE I LACK, NOT by my circumstances or who I am . . . therefore I am committed to investing whatever it takes in myself.

This boils down to resourcefulness. Most people think they need to have ready resources, or ALL the necessary knowledge before they can make change happen, but that's not the case. They simply need to be resourceful. To have the open-mindedness to learn, to commit, and to perservere.

Think of your knowledge as a bank account. You can't make a withdrawal from an account that isn't funded, can you?

[3]  I will never outperform my self-esteem. (Whether it's love, money, health etc – we settle for exactly what we intrinsically believe we are worth/deserve)

We wrote about this in our book. With regards to income, how much you earn right now is what you think you're worth. Because you've settled for that. Because it’s a standard you’ve set for yourself. But, that’s also why you only earn what you do, because that’s your standard.

So if you want to quadruple your current income, you can’t do that with a standard that’s labelled with how much you currently earn. It won’t work. Your standard has to be raised. So you have to change your thinking, change your beliefs, and change your self-worth label.

[4]  READY, AIM, FIRE – I am strategic – I always start with the end in mind. People don't plan to fail, they fail to plan.

Most people think this is the boring bit, so they skip over it, with the notional thought they'll come back and doing it properly (we're speaking from experience here – guilty!). In fact, this is the pivotal bit – it's the part where you prove to yourself you're taking your business seriously. Not treating it like a hobby, or dabbling, or trying!

Successful businesses and successful entrepreneurs have business plans. They have a strategy. And they have goals.

[5]  I know that busy-ness is often a form of laziness. I am proactive and productive.

We live in a fast-paced world. We demand fast results. And we all only have 24 hours in the day. Each moment of precious time (you can't get it back once it's wasted, right?) must be handled with care.

EVERYBODY says they're busy – but most are tricking themselves about being productively busy. Don't fool yourself. Work smart. Busy yourself with money producing tasks.

[6]  Birds of a feather flock together. Therefore I choose my friends and influences carefully.

Surround yourself by people who will stretch you, inspire you, and earn more than you – rather than those who equal you, demoralise you, and earn the same as you.

[7]  I am willing to question everything I know. I know that I don't know what I don't know.

Don't accept the status quo. Just because something has been done a certain way for years or for decades, doesn't mean it's right today in the 21st Century.

Also, be happy to build knowledge and invest in yourself at your own pace. Our coaching experience has taught us that some people grasp issues and principles quicker than others – so it's vitally important not to compare your progress with anyone else – only compare yourself to the version of you one month or one year ago.

[8]  I understand that remuneration (the money I earn) is compensation for service rendered. Therefore, I seek to get paid for the value (products, services etc) I deliver.

You earn from the value you deliver. The more value you deliver to help a person solve a problem, and the more people you help, the more you earn.

A big blocker most people face is they don't give themselves credit for how much they know. And because they know how to do something they assume everyone else knows it too. Which is completely wrong!

Learn how to package your knowledge in a way to best help others, albeit by way of an affiliate product, then you'll earn what you're worth.

[9]  The outcome is more important than the process. If there is a way, I will find it. I am resourceful and creative.

The process will involve making mistakes and failing your way forward. Note: the word ‘failure' is only used by employees. Entrepreneurs test out mistakes in order to learn. However, if an entrepreneur makes the same mistake a third time – that's dumb.

The important focus is the result, and not the steps taken to get there.

[10]  I know that I get more of whatever I focus on . . . I know my strengths and my weaknesses. Therefore, instead of focusing on my weaknesses, I focus on my strengths.

As Tony Robbins always says: “Where focus goes, energy flows”. Given that growing any business is a roller coaster ride, it's essential to focus on the positive aspects i.e.: your strengths.

Nobody is great at everything. It pays to outsource the dreary, repetitive stuff, and the stuff you don’t like doing, and the stuff you’re no good at doing. That’s why we work together, because our strengths and weaknesses are complimentary.

So, what's YOUR NEXT STEP?

We hope you enjoyed this post and learned something from it.

What we’re out to achieve here is the questions to you need to be asking yourself and the statements you need to be making to yourself so you can make that Digital Lifestyle a reality and change your lifes for ever.

So we encourage you to think about that and think about the effort required to build an online business in the perspective of grinding away at a job earning money to line other people's pockets!!

Decide to educate yourself on leveraging the internet so can take control of your own live/time/freedom.

As Mahatma Gandhi said:

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Learning about working online, being an affiliate marketer and running an online business is a life long skill.

We learned all we know from Six Figure Mentors – and we love the authenticity and integrity of their training and education.

What's more, we love their business system as it removes the hurdles from the steeplechase – so you don't need to be a techie.

So if you're serious about building a profitable online business, now is the best time to start. Get educated and start living and earning as you're meant to.

Still Not Convinced?

If this all seems a bit foreign or you still have some reservations whether you're up for it, our Millionaire Mentor Stuart Ross has arranged a private invitation-only Webcast to help you out.

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JOIN STUART FOR A SPECIAL WEBCAST, SPECIFICALLY FOR INDIVIDUALS WHO ARE:

• Interested in learning how to become profitable online starting from scratch… • Ready to earn money doing something that they are extremely passionate about… • Unsure of how to get started, but open minded to learning about new concepts…

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IMAGES

  1. Most Essential Information to Include in 300 Word Personal Statement

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COMMENTS

  1. 16 Winning Personal Statement Examples (And Why They Work)

    Here are 16 personal statement examples—both school and career—to help you create your own: 1. Personal statement example for graduate school. A personal statement for graduate school differs greatly from one to further your professional career. It is usually an essay, rather than a brief paragraph. Here is an example of a personal ...

  2. How to write your PS

    When writing a personal statement it is important that you: Read the job specification so you are clear about the job requirements. Outline the skills and experience that you have that are relevant to the job and use examples to help demonstrate this. Wherever possible include specific facts and figures that demonstrate the tangible results of ...

  3. 12 Outstanding Personal Statement Examples + Why They Work 2024

    Example #3 - 12. Example #4 - Flying. Example #5 - Arab Spring in Bahrain. Example #6 - Poop, Animals and the Environment. Example #7 - Entoptic Phenomena. Example #8 - The Builder & Problem Solver. Example #10 - The Little Porch and a Dog (With Spanish Translation) Example #10 - Life As an Undocumented Student.

  4. CIVIL SERVICE PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLES

    Your personal statement should be used to compliment your CV and further outline why you are suitable for the role. The key to a great civil service personal statement is to provide evidence against the Civil Service Success Profiles to show you match them and that you are perfect for the role. The Civil Service Success Profiles, otherwise known as the "essential criteria" will be outlined ...

  5. How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

    Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more. Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren't great in core courses, or perhaps you've never worked ...

  6. 20 Brilliant Personal Statement Examples + Why They Work

    Personal Statement Example #20: Recipe for Success. Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words) Personal Statement.

  7. How To Write a Good Personal Statement (With Examples)

    Include information that describes more about you than the details in your transcript. 5. Identify your plans for the future. Part of your personal statement can include future goals and ambitions. Explain what can happen if you gain acceptance to the university of your choice or you receive the job you want.

  8. How to Write a Personal Statement (with Tips and Examples)

    Tip 4: Connect the Story to Why You're Applying. Don't forget that the purpose of your personal statement isn't simply to tell the admissions committee who you are. That's an important part of it, of course, but your ultimate goal is to convince them to choose you as a candidate.

  9. A Guide to Civil Service Success Profiles

    Civil Service Success Profiles. The Civil Service recruits using a skills, abilities and experience framework called Success Profiles. For each job, we consider what you need to demonstrate to perform successfully in the job. This gives us the best possible chance of finding the right person for the job and gives you an opportunity to ...

  10. How to Write Your Personal Statement

    Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene. An effective way to catch the reader's attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you're stuck, try thinking about: A personal experience that changed your perspective. A story from your family's history.

  11. CIVIL SERVICE Personal Statement EXAMPLES! (Civil Service SUCCESS

    Are you looking for some examples of personal statements for civil service jobs? Watch this video to learn how to write a compelling and effective statement that showcases your skills, experience ...

  12. 9 winning personal statement examples for a job

    Here are some examples of personal and professional statements: 1. Personal statement for a postgraduate programme. Joan David Personal statement for master's programme in Public Policy and Administration London School of Policy 'I held my first textbook when I was a 23-year-old undergraduate.

  13. PDF How to write a Personal Statement in the UK Civil Service

    Personal Statement, usually, is a free-form 'pitch' for a Civil Service job. It may be as short as 250 words or, especially for Senior Civil Service appointments, as long as 1250 words (say 2 pages of A4). Usually, it calls for applicants to address a list of "Essential Criteria" listed in the job advert with evidence and examples of ...

  14. How to Write a CV Personal Statement + Examples

    Here's how to write a personal statement step-by-step: 1. Say Who You Are in the First Sentence. The first sentence of your personal profile must show that you're a serious candidate for the job. So, skip your zodiac sign or your favorite football team, even if they're a big part of who you are.

  15. Understanding Civil Service Behaviours

    The Success Profile Framework moves recruitment away from using a purely competency based system of assessment. It introduces a more flexible framework which assesses candidates against a range of elements using a variety of selection methods. ... We've looked at personal statement examples and we've had a look at some example interview ...

  16. How to get promoted: what the government's new success profiles mean

    Now, they will need "a still evidenced but narrative based personal statement, developed through the thinking they have put into their own CV", he adds. ... He highlights how success profiles may differ using the example of project management roles. "The success profile for an 18-year-old apprentice in project management versus a band A ...

  17. Civil Service Behaviours (19+ Example Answers)

    The five Civil Service Success Profiles (and what they mean) are: Behaviours — how you behave in a job that helps you succeed. Strengths — your talents and mindset. Ability — your ability to do the job advertised. Experience — your experience in similar roles. Technical — your technical skills and certifications.

  18. Civil Service Personal Suitability & Behaviour Statements (2024 Update

    How to Deal With Limited Word Count - Example 250 Words. Irrespective of the word count, proper editing of your statement is essential. For example, there may be ten or more essential criteria plus three to five success profile behaviours outlined in the job description.

  19. Success Profiles: Personal Statements Explained

    Updated: Dec 20, 2021. Personal Statements used to be entirely within the purview of EOIs, however, with the advent of Success Profiles, these are becoming much more common in substantive recruitments. The word count varies from 750 to 1250, don't feel daunted by this number though, we will walk through a basic model framework below.

  20. A guide to Success Profiles: what job applicants need to know

    For example, a Leadership Success Profile is used in the New Zealand public service. Many organisations in the public and private sectors use Success Profiles in their recruitment, talent, training, and organisational development strategies. ... Sometimes the selection panel may conduct an initial sift of applications via personal statement ...

  21. Winning Personal Statement Examples and Explanation

    Civil Service Success Profiles Key Elements and Principles Explained Civil Service Success Profiles Guide Civil Service Interview Guide (Face to Face, Video, Pre-Recorded, Presentations, Answer Builder) ... Winning Civil Service Personal Statement Examples and Guide What a Personal Statement is and how you should present it

  22. PDF Success Profiles

    The Success Profile Framework is being introduced to attract and retain people of talent and experience from a range of sectors and all walks of life, in line with the commitment in the Civil Service Workforce Plan. The Success Profile Framework moves recruitment away from using a purely competency based system of assessment.

  23. The Top 10 Personal Success Statements Of All Time

    Busy yourself with money producing tasks. [6] Birds of a feather flock together. Therefore I choose my friends and influences carefully. Surround yourself by people who will stretch you, inspire you, and earn more than you - rather than those who equal you, demoralise you, and earn the same as you.